


Tie Your Heart to Mine

by roamingbadger



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Disappointed Grandfather Anakin, Disapproving Uncle Luke, Eventual Smut, F/M, Force Ghost Anakin, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Kylo, Knights of Ren shenanigans, Leia is Wise, Multi, Post TLJ, Slow Burn, Space Virgins, Undercover!Rey, basically canon compliant, eventual secret baby, more than one prison break, so you want to talk about Force bonds?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2019-07-20 18:52:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 98,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16143359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roamingbadger/pseuds/roamingbadger
Summary: When Leia is captured by the First Order, Rey will risk everything to get her back. And that's the only reason she's infiltrating the ranks of her enemy. Definitely not because it gets her closer to the Supreme Leader. Not at all. Post-TLJ.





	1. A Girl with Blood on Her Chin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Tie your heart at night to mine, love,  
> And both will defeat the darkness."  
> \- Pablo Neruda

It wouldn’t have happened if not for  _ him. _

Rey thought about it later, in the dim light of the medical ward when she couldn’t sleep: the blur, the way the world seemed to slow. A ringing in her ears drowned out the roar of Wookiees and the responding blaster fire from First Order troopers. Her vision tunneled, blacking out the forest of Kashyyyk and instead focusing on the figure directly before her, dressed all in black. 

Azura Ren.

“You shouldn’t have come here, little one,” said Azura in her low, mask-modulated growl. “Unless you’re really this desperate to die.” She was dressed from head to toe in black leathers, so tight-fitting that Rey wondered if she’d been sewn into them. A few pockets artfully hidden hinted at the arsenal of weaponry close to Azura’s skin.  _ She’s human _ , Rey thought with wonder as Azura’s Force signature crept out of the battle chaos, dark and tangled up in knots. With her mask on, it was hard to tell otherwise. A black mask, like-- _ like his.  _ But with a plume of something hanging from the top, down her shoulder. R’iia’s shorts--was that-- _ human hair? _

Rey felt a surge of anger. “Only one of us will die today,” she said. “And it’s not going to be me.”

“Oooh, Jedi threats,” said Azura mockingly, a second before she leapt. 

Rey was ready for her. They met in the middle, trusty staff clanging against double blades. Azura’s arms went wide as she channeled her momentum into a spin. Rey leapt away. They circled.

“I’ll rip you apart,” said Azura, “and add that pretty hair of yours to my collection.” She flipped the plume from her helmet back.

“You talk too much,” said Rey.

This time, Rey took the offensive. Leaping forward, she feigned a thrust to Azura’s stomach with her staff. Azura parried it with both blades, of course, but Rey jerked back and swung wide, sweeping at the other woman’s legs. The hit landed, and Azura stumbled, but didn’t fall. 

“Aren’t you missing something?” she sneered, a bit breathless now. “A real weapon, perhaps?”  
“I don’t need a lightsaber to beat you,” said Rey, circling again. “I could do it with my bare hands.”

And so it continued. Azura leaping with a slash. Rey parrying and rolling. Rey jumping up with a blow to Azura’s temple. Azura blocking--but not fast enough. The staff hit resoundingly on the knuckles of her left hand, and one of the blades fell. 

That was when the true frenzy started. Rey realized Azura had been testing her with her sneers and her slow approach. Now she drew a second, smaller blade from somewhere near her calf and became a twist of limbs and movement. 

Rey fell back into the calming presence of the Force, blocking out the rest of the battle entirely. Her existence collapsed down to each heartbeat, each breath, each blink. Block. Twist. Jump. Lunge.  _ I can do this.  _

The second blade was knocked away, and then, after a few more minutes, the first. Before Rey could strike, Azura had small throwing knives in her hands and they were coming fast. Rey knocked them out of the air with deft twists of her staff, but the muscles of her back started to seize up. She ignored them. Her throat hurt from breathing hard. She ignored it. Sweat dripped into her eyes. She shook it away.

That was when  _ he  _ appeared. 

Just a formless black shape at first, off to the right. But Rey felt the familiar tug, like a string tied to her ribcage.  _ Not now. R’iia, not now.  _ She tried to ignore him, too.

But it wasn’t so easy, ignoring Ben Solo.

She glanced to the side, just once. Once was enough. No sooner had his face come into view, familiar scowl in place, then she felt a sharp prick of pain, and then coldness. 

That was the moment when time stood still. The staff fell from her right hand and clunked on the wet ground. Rey opened her mouth to speak, to say,  _ Ben.  _ She couldn’t help it. But when her lips parted, something wet and warm came out. 

She lifted a hand. Blood.

Ben’s face changed, the scowl morphing from shock to horror to something utterly beautiful and terrifying Rey didn’t want to name. 

She looked down. A knife was embedded in her gut. 

A second prick of pain, and Rey jerked backward. There, in the corner of her eye. A knife in her shoulder. 

They were so carefully wrought, those knives, she remembered thinking later. Delicate handles of black marble, some unreadable language carved into the hilts. Well cared for, obviously. Not a speck of dirt to be seen. 

Rey didn’t remember falling to the ground. 

“You fought well, little one,” said a breathless Azura from way, way up. She nudged Rey with a booted toe, but Rey could barely feel it, through the haze of a pain like numbness. Then Azura drew a new knife from behind her back. “He was right about you, I guess, in some ways. And I was right in others.” She knelt down. 

Another person landed hard on the ground on Rey’s other side. 

“Ben,” she whispered.

“He’s the Supreme Leader, Jedi scum. You will call him Kylo Ren.”

“Tell me where you are,” said Ben, his voice hard. His hands were on either side of Rey’s face, down her shoulders, testing the knives. She cried out when he brushed past them. “ _ Tell me, Rey. _ ” 

“Ben . . .” He had to stop touching her. She never wanted him to stop touching her.

“ _ Supreme Leader, _ ” said Azura. “Not that it matters. You’ll die either way.” And she held the knife’s edge to Rey’s throat, cold and sharp. 

Ben’s eyes grew dark as empty space when they landed on the knife-handle in Rey’s shoulder. His jaw clenched. “Listen to me, Rey. Is she there with you? Tell me now.” 

Rey moaned. “Yes.”

“Glad you’re resigned to your fate,” said Azura. She sounded amused.  _ She’s enjoying this. _

“Rey, you have to hold on.” Ben’s voice was hard, commanding. “Tell her this. Tell her she’ll never be able to go back.”

“You’ll never be able to go back,” said Rey. 

Azura froze.

“Tell her I’ll have her killed.”

“He’ll have you killed.”

“He won’t.” It might’ve been intended as a scoff, but Rey heard her lifeline beneath Azura’s words. She heard fear. “He’ll see that I’ve done him a favor.”

“You’re  _ mine, _ ” said Ben. “No one else’s.”

“I’m his to kill,” said Rey softly. Her energy was fading. The sky was darkening overhead. A storm? Or something else? Ben’s face. So sad. “Don’t be sad,” she said.

“Rey. Listen to me.  _ You will not die. _ ” He was still trying to give her orders. It was so like him. It was enough to make her smile. 

“You’re insane, Jedi girl,” said Azura, but the fear was still there. 

So dark now. So tired. Rey let her eyes fall closed. 

“ _ Rey--” _

She felt his hands on her cheeks again. They were wet, sticky, but she still ached at their touch.  _ Let me die like this if I must _ , she thought.  _ There are worse ways to go. _

Then a shout and a noise like thunder before everything was silence and darkness. 

#

Kylo knelt, hands shaking, holding the shape of a face that was no longer there. 

He could still feel the phantom surge of the broken Force connection, like a missing limb.  _ She’s not dead _ , he told himself.  _ She can’t be dead.  _ But even when he closed his eyes, he saw the moment when the blood trickled from her lips. Over and over. He would see it in his nightmares for the rest of his days.

He stood with a rough movement and hurried to the nearest communication panel, punching it so hard the button jammed. “Get me Dantalion,” he growled. “And prepare to jump to lightspeed.”

“Right away, Supreme Leader,” came the response, after only a second’s hesitation. Kylo had trained his officers well.

While he waited for the Knight of Ren to arrive at his quarters, Kylo shucked off his blood-soaked gloves and shoved them out of sight. He was lucky the connection had come when he was meditating. If anyone else had witnessed that . . .

The knock at his door was quick and short. “Enter,” said Kylo, with a menace in his voice that might give others pause. Not Dantalion Ren. He strode through with his usual languid air, calm and collected, one dark eyebrow quirked. He never wore his mask unless in battle, as if to shield his handsome face from view was a kind of sin. 

“Your highness,” he said. “You called?”

“I know you sent Azura on her last mission. Where is she?”

Both eyebrows jumped up. “Azura? What’s she done this time?”

“Don’t play with me, Dantalion.” Kylo stepped forward, a long step, until they were eye to eye. Or, rather, eye to shoulder. Dantalion was sensitive about his height. “Tell me where she is. Now.”

“You know I don’t think that’s a--”

“ _ Tell me!”  _ Kylo closed his fists, pulling the Force to him. Dantalion, Force-sensitive as he was, would feel that dark energy building and know exactly what it meant. 

“All right.” He held up his gloved hands. “She’s on Kashyyyk.”

Kylo strode to the jammed communication panel. “Did you catch that, officer? Get us to Kashyyyk.”

“Yes, sir. Right away, sir.”

Kylo hit the panel again, hard, bringing blood to his knuckles. But the pain grounded him. And the button popped out. Signal over.

Dantalion seemed to sense that something else was going on. “Are you . . . certain of this, my lord?”

“Yes. Don’t question me again. Ready my landing shuttle. I’ll meet you there.”

“Yes, my lord.” Dantalion bowed slowly, dark braid slipping over his shoulder, then turned and left in silence. 

Kylo stood with his hands shaking, seeing the face of a girl with blood dripping down her chin.

#

Rey jerked awake and instantly regretted it.

“Ow,” she said, closing her eyes against the light and the headache and the pain. 

“Rey!” A female voice, hushed and excited. Rey tried to summon the energy to open her eyes again. But she was so tired.

She heard a beep and that same voice, speaking low: “She’s awake. Just opened her eyes. No, she hasn’t said anything. Okay. I’ll let you know. Be . . . be safe.” Beep.

Rey gradually lifted her heavy eyelids and blinked them a few times, letting her eyes adjust to the light. It wasn’t even bright. She looked around her. Dim lights. Gray walls cut from rock. A moisture in the air, similar to Kashyyyk. She was in the catacombs beneath Myrra on Akiva, in the hidden Resistance base. 

Rose Tico sat beside her, bags beneath her eyes. But she was smiling. “Rey. You’re awake! You don’t have to talk. I’ve alerted the medical droid.” She pointed to a button on the wall, lit green.

“Is that who you were talking to?” Rey’s voice came out small and hoarse.

“No. Finn.” Rose lifted her wrist, showing the comm bracelet there. “He had to leave two days ago for his next mission. General Leia made an exception . . . we weren’t sure . . .” Rose’s smile dimmed slightly, and her hand fell back to her lap. 

Rey’s stomach twisted. “Two days? How long have I been out?”

“Five days on Akiva. Longer, if you count the transport here.”

“What . . . what happened?”

Rose swallowed. “All I know is that Poe brought you in. I think he was sent down to Kashyyyk’s surface to get you, after . . . after they realized you’d been cut off.”

“Kriff.” Rey’s eyes fell closed again. She’d be hearing it from Leia after this.  _ Express orders not to leave the ship . . . how’d you end up out there in the first place . . . with only that old staff as a weapon . . .  _ She could practically hear the General’s voice. 

When Rey opened her eyes again, Rose looked as if she wanted to say something else. She opened her mouth to speak, but shut it again when the medical droid entered the ward. 

“Hi, B4,” said Rey.

“It’s best if you don’t speak, Patient Number 16,” said the droid with as much disapproval as a droid could inject into his voice. Rey sighed, laying back as B4-NR went about his business. Until he prodded at her stomach and pain shot through her limbs. Then she pulled away. 

“Hey!”

“Healing nicely,” said the droid. “You will live.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed,” said Rey as the droid went off to make notes on the med panel.

“I cannot be disappointed,” the droid replied. “I am programmed to treat everyone, even those who do not take care of themselves.”

Rose snorted. Rey turned her head. “Thanks for that.”

“Sorry.” Rose actually did sound a bit apologetic.

“It’s okay,” said Rey, feeling a twinge of guilt. She’d ended up in the medical ward plenty of times since their arrival on Akiva, but only for a few scrapes and burns and bruises, the kinds of injuries that came from trying to put together that kriffing lightsaber or explore the catacombs or climb up to the surface to feel the rain. Nothing like this. Nothing that gave her friends those bags under their eyes. 

A memory flashed through her. The look on Ben’s face when she tried to speak and only blood came out.

She shuddered as the door to the ward slid open again. Rose frowned, but said nothing as Leia marched in, Poe on her heels. He wore an orange flightsuit, which meant he was either coming or going. Rey shifted uncomfortably.  _ Here it comes.  _

“She’s stable?” Leia barked at the droid. When he replied, “Affirmative,” she said, “Great. Wait outside.”

_ Kriff.  _

“We don’t have much time,” said Leia when the droid was gone. “So I’m going to talk, and you’re all going to listen.”

“Okay,” said Rey. She caught Poe’s eye, and he grinned and gave her a thumbs-up. Comforting. 

“The Third Republic Senate is meeting with the Supreme Leader as we speak.”

“What?” Rey tried to sit up, but pain racketed through her. 

Leia gave her a sharp look. “What did I say? Listen first, questions later.”

Rey nodded. Rose nodded too, in sympathy. 

“He’s seeking their ratification of his election as leader of the First Order. Apparently he sent a communique to the Wookiees on Kashyyyk.”

Rey breath stopped. “He--he what?”

Leia talked right over her that time. “ _ If _ he succeeds, the terms of their alliance include a declaration of treason against us. We’d be considered wanted criminals, even by Republic standards.”

But this didn’t really land in Rey’s mind, not at first. She was still thinking of Kashyyyk.  _ He came for me _ . And another, smaller voice:  _ of course he did. _

Leia didn’t seem to notice her distraction. “We--” she waved at Poe behind her “--have already come up with a plan. Our first move is to scatter. I’ve already sent out most of our people with instructions to take deep cover. We’ll infiltrate the Republic and the First Order as much as we can.”

Rey nodded. It explained Finn’s absence. His knowledge of the First Order had been invaluable in the months since Crait. He’d volunteered to start training the next wave of First Order spies, which meant they were probably off on their first assignment right now. Rey’s stomach twisted again. 

“Our only problem is  _ you. _ ”

Rey blinked up at the General. “I’m--I’m sorry?”

Leia sighed. “What does ‘stay on the ship no matter what’ mean to you?”

_ Aaaaand there it is.  _ “Chewie sent out a distress call. We were going to meet him.”

Leia’s eye twitched. “No. Matter. What.”

Rey sank into her blankets. “I’m sorry.”

The general sighed. She suddenly looked years older, beneath the carefully-knotted Alderaanian mourning braid and the stately earrings and the impeccable jumpsuit. “I know you are, sweetheart,” she said. “But sorry doesn’t keep you alive.”

#

Kylo wasn’t listening. He had his eyes open, yes, and his gaze was attentive on the Third Republic Chancellor, but his mind was elsewhere, reaching out with the Force. Searching. 

Coming up empty.

_ I would know _ , he told himself as his gut seized, not for the first time over the past week.  _ I would feel it _ . 

“ . . . matter of the First Order’s presence planetside throughout the Republic . . .”

He focused back on the Chancellor, Yura Jeth. Due to the careful strip of sun-shield over her pale Arkanian eyes, she was a difficult one to read. Not much older than he, she had risen to power quickly after the death of the latest Chancellor during the attack on Hosnian Prime. Though she had probably started out life looking very human--besides the white hair--her cybernetic enhancements made her increasingly inhuman and cold. She lifted one of her cybernetic arms as she spoke, gesticulating toward the transparisteel of the space station, beneath which Coruscant glittered like crystal. Did she have her real arms cut off for the metal ones, Kylo wondered, or was she injured somehow?

From beside him, Hux spoke. “The Atterra system has already been established as First Order territory. That is not up for debate.” 

Kylo resisted the urge to smile. So the hotheaded general didn’t like the Chancellor, eh? He didn’t need to read the man’s Force signature to sense his hatred. Just to anger Hux, Kylo said, “We are satisfied with the Republic’s suggestions dividing First Order and Third Republic space. Let’s move on.”  
Hux gaped at him. “But--but Supreme Leader--”

“What is your next topic, Chancellor?”

Was that a smile on Yura Jeth’s face? Hard to tell. “I thank you, Supreme Leader. The next topic is the matter of a peace celebration.”

“Impossible,” Hux spat.

“What did you have in mind?”

Yura inclined her head in Kylo’s direction. “A public showing of our alliance,” she said. “It would boost morale and demonstrate our dedication to a future of peace.”

That was when Kylo felt it. A tug, just beneath his breastbone, familiar and painful. An ache opened up inside him, and it took all his self-control not to move when she appeared.

She was behind the Chancellor’s shoulder, lying down. He could never see her surroundings, frustratingly, but he could see she wore the white utilitarian gown of a medical ward. Her eyes were closed, but her chest rose and fell with shallow breaths. He felt his own breath go out of him. She was so small, so pale. 

“Supreme Leader?” There must have been something in his eyes, for Yura glanced over her shoulder, only to find a wall of transparisteel and the stars beyond. “Did I overstep?”

“No.” He had no idea what she’d said. “I leave the celebration details to you. That’s enough for today.” He stood.

Everyone exchanged glances as they rose after him. Confusion? Fear? He didn’t care to read them just then. Hux put a hand on his arm as everyone left the room, but Kylo shook him off. “Leave--me,” he said. He’d almost said  _ us.  _

As the door slid shut behind Hux, Kylo crept around the room to where she lay. There was a bacta patch peeking out from the collar of her gown, up by her right shoulder. Her skin had a bluish tint; whether from dim light or from some kind of malnourishment, he couldn’t tell. His throat twisted shut.  _ If only I’d gotten to you first.  _

Her eyes fluttered open. 

#

She felt him before she opened her eyes, that magnetic, irresistible pull. Over the months since Crait, she’d often wondered what it would be like for the connection to begin when they were sleeping, both of them curled in bed. 

This wasn’t exactly how she’d imagined it. 

When she opened her eyes, his face was closed, but his gaze burned into her. “Hello,” she croaked. 

“You’re alive.” 

“Barely.” She started to sit up in bed, and he moved as if to stop her, but caught himself before he touched her. Her eyes fell on his hands, gloved, so close. 

“And Azura?” His voice was hard. 

“They said she got away.” Rey could still see Poe’s face as he said it. And the way he, like Rose, almost asked her something else. But didn’t.

Ben’s fists clenched at his side. “I will find her.” 

A surge of anger heated Rey from her cheeks to her toes. “So you’re trying to protect me now?” 

“It’s more than that Resistance of yours seems able to do. Did they send you to Kashyyyk alone?”

“I can protect myself.” And what’s the point? She wanted to ask. Save me now to kill me later?

His only reply was to laugh, short and bitter. 

“You realize if your treaty gets signed, I’ll have a price on my head, right?”

“You already do. Twenty thousand credits, alive.”

“Funny.” Rey pulled her blankets up, suddenly vulnerable. “I thought I’d be worth more.”

His eyes glittered. “You are.”

She didn’t know how to respond. Her mouth felt dry. He loomed over the bed, his hair falling onto his forehead as he leaned over her. He had a look about him like he, too, wanted to say something else and was holding back. Rey was tired of it. 

“This has to stop,” she said. 

He face closed again. “What?”

“This.” She gestured between them. “This--these--connections. They can’t happen anymore.”

“All right,” he said drily. “I’ll just let the Force know for you.”

“It’s not that. You heard Snoke.  _ He  _ started it.”

Ben ground his jaw. “If you’d listened to me from the beginning, you wouldn’t be so ignorant in the ways of the Force.”

The anger grew hotter, in part because deep down, Rey knew Ben was right. The unfinished lightsaber in her quarters was further proof of that. “You’re wrong,” she lied. “You’re doing this on purpose.”

“Believe me, it’s an inconvenience to me as well.”

“Well, I’m sorry I’m such an  _ inconvenience  _ to you. You nearly got me killed.”

His eyes turned black, his voice as cold as ice. “What do you mean?”

“The fight. With Azura. You appeared, and it--it distracted me.”

He said nothing. Then he stepped abruptly back. “You’re right.” He didn’t meet her eyes. “It’s a distraction we cannot afford. I have important matters ahead, and you--you have to avoid getting caught.”

“So there’s a way to stop it?” Why did Rey feel a cold wash of fear, or guilt, at the thought? She should be elated.

His fists clenched. “I’ll look into it.” He looked to the side, to the floor--anywhere but at her. 

“Wait--” she began, but it was already starting. The tug was lessening, the feeling like a string being cut. And then he was gone. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we go, folks! Thank you for riding along with me on my first Reylo fic. Let's be real, these two own my life. 
> 
> I will be updating as we go with any additional relationships and/or rating increases.
> 
> A few links from canon for fun:  
> [Akiva](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Akiva)  
> [Arkanian](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Arkanian/Legends)  
> [Atterra System](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Atterra_Bravo)  
> [R'iaa](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/R%27iia)
> 
> The Knights of Ren are named after demons in this fic, except for Azura, who was a Daedric Prince in the Elder Scrolls universe. Credit for that idea to **diasterisms.**
> 
> Please consider a comment or kudos - I'd love to hear your thoughts! :)


	2. Wanting Makes You Sloppy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, lovely readers, for checking this out and leaving kudos! And thank you **Trueffle123** for your kind words. You inspired me to write faster on chapter two. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> P.S. I will be updating every Wednesday from here on out! But comments and kudos inspire me to write even faster :)

At the sound of a knock, Kylo turned from the Sith holocron before him. “Enter.”

Someone tried the panel outside his chambers. “It’s locked, Supreme Leader.”

_ Hux. _ Kylo removed the holocron from view, shoving it into the nearest drawer beside a ball of bloodstained gloves.  _ Don’t think about that.  _ Pushing the drawer closed with a bang, he crossed the room and punched open the door. “I hope you have good news for me, General.”

Hux’s lips pinched. He was obviously offended at not being invited in. “The Resistance Base on Akiva was recently abandoned, my lord. We questioned the locals. It seems General Organa departed yesterday, in a Corellian Y-T1300 freighter.”

The smug bastard. He was clearly enjoying this. “Alone?”

“That part isn’t clear,” said Hux with a sniff. His eyes darted around the room behind Kylo’s back.

“And Azura?” Kylo asked. 

Blue eyes full of malice flicked back to Kylo’s face. “My men are tracking her, my lord, but it seems they have been followed.”

“It  _ seems  _ your men are incapable of completing even the most basic of tasks.” Kylo leaned against his door jamb, crossing his arms, and watched with satisfaction as Hux’s lips pinched further. “Call them off. I’ll send someone with actual skills to complete this job. You’re dismissed.” 

“Supreme Leader.” Hux stepped into the room, blocking the door from closing. If he caught the menace in Kylo’s scowl, he didn’t flinch. “There is the matter of the peace celebrations. On  _ Naboo. _ ”

Kylo froze, barely keeping his scowl in place. Surprise flickered through him. “What did you say?”

“The Chancellor has chosen Theed as the location for our joint celebration.” Hux spat the word “celebration” as if it meant “Resistance.” “It seems she wants to honor your  _ ancestry _ .”

Perhaps Kylo should have been paying more attention the day before during their latest round of treaty talks. He’d had other things on his mind. 

_ Her voice with the smallest quiver in it. “This has to stop.”  _

“My lord? I understand you don’t want to busy yourself with petty details, but the insult--”

“The Chancellor is acting under my authority. Do you have a problem with my ancestry, Hux?”

The General blinked twice, his lips sneering. But when he saw Kylo’s hand twitch, he swallowed and said, “No, my lord. Not at all.”

“Very good. I trust you’ll ready the fleet for travel.”

“Right away, my lord.” Hux started to turn away. 

“And Hux?”

He stopped without turning. 

“Get me a new pair of gloves.”

#

Rey sat staring at the half-built lightsaber, reaching out to it with the Force. Willing it to ignite this time. 

She lifted it up. Heavy in the hand, it was a bit unshapely, a bit cobbled together--not the smooth perfection it had once been. Back on Akiva, she had scavenged parts from a spare staff and a few blasters for the internal components. The broken crystals she fitted on either side of a long central cylinder, so that it would work as a double-bladed saber. 

If the kriffing thing would ever  _ turn on. _

She ran her thumb over the ignition. “Please please please.” She flipped it on.

Nothing.

The silence rang in her ears. She shut it off and tried again. Still nothing. 

“Blasted piece of junk,” she said, throwing it across the room. It hit the wall of the Falcon and bounced across the floor, rolling right back to her feet. 

Sometimes she wondered if the Force was taunting her. 

No sooner had she thought it then she felt the familiar tug beneath her breastbone. Her body lit up in anticipation-- _ in irritation _ , she told herself firmly. And then he appeared. 

He stood to her right, pulling on a pair of leather gloves. She tried not to stare at his fingers before they disappeared into darkness. “Pardon the interruption,” he said without looking at her. “How’s life on the run?”

“Your treaty hasn’t been signed yet.” 

“Not for another few hours.” He dropped his hands and studied her. A sort of triumph flashed in his eyes. “I’m guessing the saber won’t be finished by then?”

Blast him, how did he always know? It’s not as if he could see her surroundings . . . “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

He ignored that, of course. “I could have helped you finish it.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“I had a report from my men,” he said. “Tracking Azura. Strange how they said they were chasing a few drops of blood. Saber wounds would be cauterized.” He shot her a knowing look. “I hope they’ve given you a blaster, at least.”

_ Kriffing bastard. _ “How about this? When it’s ready, I’ll try it out on you.” Rey spoke the threat through gritted teeth. 

“I’m looking forward to it.”

Blast him. Why did it always seem as if her threats were empty--as if they bounced right off him? Not only that . . . as if he almost . . . enjoyed them. It always left her feeling shaken, liked she’d revealed more than she intended. The look he was giving her, challenging and yet slightly amused, made her face heat.

“Everything okay in here?” 

Rey jerked as Poe leaned in the open doorway, a smile fixed on his face. It faded when he saw her surprise. “Sorry if I startled you.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m still a bit jumpy.” She bent and picked up the saber, trying to act natural as she replaced it on the tabletop. Had Poe heard? 

“Who’s with you?” asked Ben. 

“I don’t blame you,” said Poe, walking right through Ben and pulling out the chair opposite Rey. Once seated, he leaned back and crossed his arms behind his head. “How are the wounds?”

“Healing,” she said, trying not to glance sideways. “You know. I’ll have a couple new scars.” Ben went very still. 

“I hear the ladies go wild for that,” said Poe with a wink, and Rey smiled weakly. “Right. I brought you something.”

“For me?” Rey was surprised. She’d gotten to know Poe through Finn during the months they’d spent on Akiva, but they weren’t exactly close. She risked a glance at Ben. His eyes were focused on her, so intensely she started to squirm. 

“Don’t worry,” said Poe, misreading her discomfort. “It’s nothing.” He threw down a bundle of fabric on the table. It landed with a muffled clunk. 

Rey carefully unfolded it, determined not to look in Ben’s direction again.  _ Be natural _ , she thought.  _ Be normal.  _ The last bit of fabric moved aside, revealing two small throwing knives with black marble hilts. 

“They left them on the Falcon when they were cleaning you up,” Poe explained hurriedly. “I, um, washed off the blood for you. I thought you might want them.”

Rey traced the unfamiliar language carved into the hilt with one of her fingers. Her gut and shoulder ached in remembered pain. “Thanks,” she said, but it came out breathless. The silence around the word felt heavy and awkward.

“You know . . .” Poe stopped. He had that look on his face, the one that meant he was holding back. 

“Just say it,” said Rey. 

Ben shifted beside her. 

“When I found you, and brought you back to the ship, you had . . . handprints.” He gestured at his face. “Handprints in blood.”

“Did I?” She glanced sideways. She couldn’t help herself. Ben was staring at the wall, but his eyes shifted to meet hers at the last second. She felt as if she could reach out and touch him in that moment. Then she realized that  _ she wanted to.  _ She tucked her hands under her legs. “How strange.”

“I’ve heard the rumors about Azura,” said Poe. “She’s supposed to be a little bit insane.”

“She is,” said Rey, relieved. That much, at least, wasn’t a lie. Let him think what he thought. “When she held the knife to my throat, she was--she was enjoying it.”

Ben moved again, turning away. 

“Rey, listen . . .” Poe leaned in. “The First Order’s been tracking her, but I had them followed,” he said in a low voice. “I have good intel from Finn that she’s headed to Theed.”

“Theed? Where’s that?” Rey said before she could think. Ben’s head whipped toward her.  _ Kriff.  _

But Poe was oblivious. “Naboo. Apparently if that treaty gets signed there’s going to be a big to-do there. Senators, Generals, all of it. It looks like she’s hoping the party will put her boss in a good mood.” 

“Right.” Rey chose her words very carefully. “And you’re telling me this because . . .”  _ He can only hear my half of the conversation. Let him think we’re just talking about the party. _ She could feel Ben’s gaze on her again. 

“We have a shot at her,” said Poe. “I just have to convince Leia. It’s risky, with all the party stuff, but we have a safehouse. And if we could get to Azura first . . ."

_ We’d have a Knight of Ren to question.  _ It took all her composure not to say it out loud. Ben couldn’t know about this, not now. The Knights of Ren were his right hand. If the Resistance had one of them, think of what they could learn . . . 

“I take it by that look, you’re in?” asked Poe, his smile returning. 

“Yes,” said Rey, unable to resist smiling in return. “Of course, yes. No question.”

“Great.” Poe slapped his palm on the table, and Rey jumped again. “It’s a deal.” He held out his hand to shake. 

She reached across and shook. When Poe stood and left, punching the door closed behind him, she and Ben were once again in silence. 

She turned to him. “Catch all that?”

“Who was he?”

“No one.”

“So it was definitely a man.” He turned away. 

Rey felt her stomach twist. _Could it be that--could Ben be--_ jealous? No, surely not. “Why should you care?” she said bitterly. 

“I’ve been working on what you asked,” he said stiffly to the wall. “It won’t be easy, but I think there’s a way.”

The non-sequitur caught her off-guard. “What are you talking about?”

“I think I found a way to break the bond,” he said. He glanced back over his shoulder. “It will be painful. But it’s possible. Just like you asked.” His face was unreadable. “Soon, you’ll be free.” Without waiting for her answer, he walked away and disappeared. 

Rey stared at the spot where he’d been.  _ Soon, you’ll be free _ . So why did she feel so disappointed?

#

Alone again, Kylo resisted the urge to punch the wall. 

Instead, he punched his comm panel. The thing would need a new button soon. 

“Supreme Leader?”

“Send an encrypted message through to Dantalion Ren. Tell him I have reason to believe Azura will be on Theed for the celebrations.”

“Very good, my lord. Right away.”

Kylo turned the panel off and stared at the wall.  _ Fool.  _ He wasn’t sure whom he meant it for, Rey or himself. He wanted to tell her that he didn’t need to see her surroundings--he could read every conversation in the expressions that crossed her face. He wanted to tell her that  _ he  _ should be sitting with her, helping her build her first lightsaber, piece by piece. He wanted to tell her that she belonged here. 

But he’d already told her that. And she’d turned him down. 

He pushed himself away from the wall, straightening his tunic. No matter. He would sign his treaty. The Resistance would be hunted across the galaxy, by the Republic and the First Order. No matter where she was in time or space, he would find her. 

And then there would be no more running.

#

Rey’s tried to contain her nervous anticipation as she and Poe guided the _Falcon_ down to land. Of course, it wasn’t tagged as the _Falcon._ Some quick hunting--and a few allies on Naboo--had allowed them to borrow the codes from the _Madersim_ , a Corellian Y-T model freighter with a Royal Security Forces affiliation. They would be fine, as long as no one looked too closely. 

All the same, Leia’s hands were clenched on the pilot’s seat. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Don’t you worry, General,” said Poe, as he guided the Falcon to its private berth. “We’ve got it under control.”

“It’s not the landing I’m worried about,” said Leia under her breath. 

Poe chuckled. Was his confidence never shaken? “Rose and Snap just checked in,” said Rey. “They’re standing by in orbit for extraction.”

“Good. Let’s make it quick.” Leia was already straightening as the  _ Falcon  _ powered down. “Stay here,” she said sharply to BB-8, who peeked his head into the cockpit. 

“Sorry, bud,” said Poe as he passed him. Rey tweaked his antenna and received a comforting blip in response. 

That was when the ship opened and she stepped out into Theed for the first time. The landing had been stunning, with wide, sweeping views of green and cascades of waterfalls in the distance. Even compared to the emerald of Takodana and sapphire of Ahch-To, Naboo was a vibrant jewel. 

Up close, though, it was an entirely different kind of thrilling. Even from their sheltered, private vantage point, Rey could see the soaring green domes of tall buildings, smell the sweet tang of flowers in nearby hedges, and hear the faint buzz of activity over the trickle of water from a nearby fountain. This place was  _ alive  _ in a way that she’d never seen or felt before. Her chest felt tight. 

“Ryoo.” Leia moved forward, reaching out a hand to the woman who stood waiting for them. The stranger was small, gray-haired, a few years older than Leia. But she wore a robe of beautiful blue and a smile that was both kind and sad. 

“Cousin,” she said to Leia. “Welcome home.”

Rey hid her surprise.  _ Cousin?  _ Faintly, she remembered hearing from Finn that Leia’s mother had been a Senator before the fall of the Republic. A Senator from Naboo. 

Leia patted Ryoo on the shoulder, then gestured at the others. “These are my companions, Poe Dameron and Rey of Jakku.”

Ryoo looked Poe up and down, then turned to Rey. Her brown eyes sharpened. “I welcome you to Theed, Rey of Jakku.”

“Thank you,” said Rey a bit awkwardly. 

“Come.” Ryoo’s eyes sparked with amusement as she took in their disguises--brown cloaks, hoods up. “The journey for you refugees is never easy. We must get home, so you can rest.”

She led them on foot through the side streets. It took all of Rey’s self-control not to stare, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, at everyone who passed them. They wore rich jewel tones and elaborate jewelry, even the children, and once Rey saw someone leading a tiny reptilian pet on a diamond-studded leash. 

“The new fad,” said Ryoo when she caught Rey looking. “I have one myself.”

The air smelled clean and verdant, and Rey found herself soothed by the light breeze that stirred her hood against her cheeks. By the time they rounded a corner and Ryoo led them up to a tall, narrow house, Rey didn’t want to go inside.

That changed when the door opened. Pale blue walls peeked out, setting off antique-looking furniture made from heavy, dark wood. Fresh flowers bloomed from a table against the wall. “Go on,” said Ryoo. Everyone else had filed inside while Rey was staring. 

“Your house is beautiful,” she said. 

“Thank you, child.” Ryoo looked thoughtful as she ushered them in before closing the door and locking it with an actual  _ key.  _ Then she pressed something on a panel against the wall. Extra security, Rey supposed, which was only natural in a Resistance safehouse. “This way,” said Ryoo when she was finished. 

She led them all up a set of narrow stairs, showing Leia to the largest room before taking Poe and Rey down to the other end of the hallway. “This one’s for you,” she said to Poe. “And for Rey of Jakku . . . this one here.”

Rey felt some kind of secondary meaning in Ryoo’s knowing, anticipatory gaze. She turned to ask Poe to linger, but he was already in his room, shutting his door.  _ Okay, then. _

Rey’s room was decorated in pale yellow, the color of sunlight, and it reminded her instantly of home. She crossed the threshold and took a breath and smelled dust, but not in an unpleasant way--in a way that was comfortable and familiar. There were a few static holos on the wall, and more of the dark furniture, but other than the large bed in the center of the room, the place was unadorned.

“What do you think?” asked Ryoo from the doorway. 

“I--I love it. Thank you.” Rey drifted over to the large window, which opened onto a white balcony. If she strained her ears, she could almost hear the low roar of distant falls through the glass.

“I’m glad.” Ryoo seemed to hesitate, then said: “It is a place for happy memories.” She turned to go. “I hope it brings some to you.” 

Rey drifted around the room when she was alone, trailing fingers over the mantel, inspecting the pictures on the wall. They were mostly featuring a young woman with smiling eyes and hair a shade darker than Rey’s. She looked like Ryoo, a bit. A relative, then. 

It came to her suddenly:  _ Padme Amidala. _

No sooner had the name echoed inside her then she felt a tug to the corner of the room. A wardrobe stood there, large and wooden and otherwise nondescript. Her feet carried her closer to it before she realized what was happening. A second later, she was reaching for the wardrobe door, her heartbeat ringing in her ears.

Rey froze. She’d done this once before, opened a box, and look where it brought her. 

She wasn’t sure she wanted to see what was on the other side of this one. 

But curiosity overcame her hesitation. The insistent feeling saying  _ look-look-look  _ matched the rhythm of her quick breaths. She opened the door. 

She was faced with a row of beautiful gowns in every shade of color Rey had ever seen, and a few she hadn’t. 

The nearest one was a cascade of many colors, starting with pale yellow at the neckline and dripping down like a sunset into gold and pink and purple. It was like the feathers of an exotic bird, or the scales of that reptile in the street, and yet it was effervescent as air. Rey reached out to draw her fingers down its silky cloth. 

_ A few strands of hair came loose around her cheeks. A hand was skimming its way down her exposed back as the wind tossed her dress against the man beside her. How could that touch be so warm, and yet make her shiver? How could something be so right, and yet so wrong?  _

Rey gasped and stumbled back from the wardrobe, from the dress, from the vision. The backs of her legs hit the bed and she sat down hard. She tasted salt and realized she had been crying. 

Whatever she had just seen, just experienced, it  _ hurt.  _ It opened up an ache inside her that was painfully sweet, like the sharp, heady sensation of standing on the edge of that cave in Ahch-To. So hard to resist. So easy to fall. 

Shivering, Rey kicked off her shoes and climbed under the blankets of the bed fully clothed. She couldn’t shake the taste of lake air in her mouth. She pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them close, staring at the dress until shadows lengthened on the walls. 

#

Outside the viewport in Kylo’s chambers, Naboo stared back like a wide green eye. Hesitantly, he reached out with the Force, but he felt nothing of Azura’s signature there. Too much interference from the masses of people converging on the planet for the first ever peace celebration between the Third Republic and the First Order. 

Kylo’s handheld holoprojector pinged on his desk with an incoming message. He bent and picked it up, flicking it on with an easy motion. Dantalion Ren appeared, smug even in the pale blue image of the hologram. “Tell me,” said Kylo.

“Azura’s here. Just disembarked from a smugglers’ vessel off Nar Shaddaa.”

“Where is she now?”

“In line. She’s registering for the civilian lottery.”

“Civilian--?”

“For an invitation,” Dantalion explained. “For the party tomorrow.”

_ Blast this kriffing party,  _ Kylo thought. He was beginning to regret agreeing to it, even if it did piss Hux off.

“More likely she’s hacking their system for a forgery,” said Dantalion. He almost sounded proud. “She probably thinks a public confrontation will go more easily for her.” At the look on Kylo’s face, he hastily amended, “And she’s wrong, of course.”

“Don’t let it get that far. Follow her to wherever she’s staying and bring her in from there. Direct to my ship.”

“Of course, my lord.” Dantalion bowed and disappeared.

Kylo tossed the holoprojector to his desk with a clatter. Somehow even signing the treaty in front of all those bureaucrats hadn’t been half as hard as attending this party would be.

As if on cue, a knock sounded on his chamber doors. “Enter,” Kylo growled, against his better wishes. 

The sliding door revealed a trembling junior officer. “I--I have your attire for the party tomorrow, Supreme Leader. General Hux asked that I deliver it in person.”

_ Probably so he can get a firsthand report of how much I hate it.  _ “Hang it up. Then leave.” The officer hurried to obey. No sooner had the door slid shut behind him then Kylo crossed the room to his closet, where the clothes had been hung. He opened the door.

And stared.

And stared.

Then he turned and punched his comm panel on again. “Hux?”

“Sir?” Was he  _ gloating _ ? Kylo would eviscerate him.

“What the kriff is this?”

#

Rey noticed Poe and Leia staring as she took her second helping of food. “What?”

“Before Ryoo thinks that we were starving you, I should mention that this is just the way you eat,” said Leia drily. 

Rey put down the spoon. “Sorry.”

Leia waved a hand. “By all means, continue. You make me hungrier just watching.”

Rey hesitated, but the food was just  _ so good _ . Thick grains coated in butter and spice, piquant green vegetables, gamey meat that was so tender it practically melted against her tongue. She’d never tasted half the things on her plate before in her life, and Ryoo had even mentioned something called  _ dessert.  _

Rey took another spoonful. 

It wasn’t until dessert was finished--a sweet pastry stuffed with fruit and covered in cream, and Rey almost licked her plate--that Poe cleared his throat. “I heard from Finn,” he said. 

Leia set down her spoon with a  _ clink.  _ “And you’re just telling us this  _ now _ ?”

“There was nothing to report,” said Poe. “Not really. He tracked Azura to a public tentspace that’s been erected to take some of the spillover of visitors for tomorrow’s little  _ party. _ ” He spat the word as if it meant “First Order.” He hadn’t exactly been thrilled when Leia told them the treaty was signed.

“Wait a second,” said Rey, glancing between Poe and Leia. “Finn’s  _ here _ ?”

Leia flashed a  _ now-you’ve-done-it  _ look to Poe, which was easy to intercept. And interpret. “And you weren’t going to tell me,” said Rey as realization hit.

“This has to be a clean operation. In and out, without being seen.”

“I can be clean!” said Rey. 

Ryoo gave a little cough that sounded suspiciously like a covered-up laugh. 

“Rey, you are perhaps the most recognizable person in the entire galaxy,” said Leia. “Since Crait, your picture has been plastered up anywhere with a life form. You’re worth twenty thousand credits. And the First Order is  _ literally right down the street. _ ”

“I’ll be careful,” Rey promised. “I won’t do anything stupid.”

Poe opened his mouth to add something, but Leia cut him off. “We can’t risk it. We risked enough by coming here in the first place.” Her eyes flashed at Rey. “This is a stay-on-the-ship operation.”

“But I--”

“I’ll ask you again, Rey. Can you or can’t you stay on the ship?”

Rey glanced at Ryoo. She was still looking mildly amused. “Fine,” she admitted. “I can stay on the ship. General.”

Leia smiled. “That’s good enough. There’s no need to get all formal on me.” She turned to Poe. “So what’s the plan?”

“I’ll go in looking for a bed tonight. Azura’s smart, and she’ll run if she catches wind I’m there.” Poe glanced over at Rey. “Right into Finn, waiting outside.”

“Too risky,” said Leia, shaking her head. “What if she fights back? That’s a tent full of civilians we’re talking about. And Finn shouldn’t face her alone.”

“But . . .” Poe started to argue, then seemed to think better of it. He pointedly avoided looking at Rey. “I guess she is pretty dangerous.”

Rey flushed. She couldn’t help the way her wounds burned, the remembered cold of Azura’s blade as it pressed against her neck.  _ If only I’d beaten her then. _

_ If only I hadn’t been distracted. _

An idea came to her. “I know what we do. Give her something she wants.”

“I’m sorry?”

“She’s on the run, right?” Rey waited for Leia and Poe to nod. “Well, she must have fallen out with the First Order somehow. Have a message delivered to her in the tent. Tell her someone from the First Order wants to speak to her about a pardon.”

“And she’ll believe that?”

“Wanting makes you sloppy,” said Rey. “It makes you lose focus. You get distracted. You miss things.”

“Do you?” asked Leia, voice heavy with meaning. Rey realized what she’d said and felt her flush expand to cover the back of her neck. But Leia didn’t know the real meaning behind those words--did she? Rey studied her closely. She’d never told anyone about the connections with Ben. 

“It will work,” said Rey. “Trust me.”

Leia had a pensive look in her eyes. “I’m not sure . . .”

“The girl is right,” said Ryoo from the end of the table, surprising them all. “I’d suggest you take her advice.”

Leia’s lips thinned, but after a moment, she gave a decisive nod. “Very well. Poe, get someone working the tent to deliver the message. Wait outside with Finn to ambush Azura when she appears. The two of you should be able to stun her. I want her on board with Rose and Snap and departing this place by sunrise.”

“Can do, General,” said Poe, giving Rey a wink. “Watch. We’ll have her out of here in no time. How easy can it get?”

Somehow Rey wished he hadn’t asked that question.

#

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Sith holocron](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sith_holocron)  
> [Theed](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Theed)  
> [The Madersim](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Madersim)  
> [Snap Wexley](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Temmin_Wexley)  
> [Ryoo Naberrie](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Ryoo_Naberrie)  
> [Padme Amidala’s room](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/File:Padme%27s_Bedroom.JPG)  
>  Padme’s dress: not going to lie, this scene was entirely inspired by [this post,](http://roamingbadger.tumblr.com/tagged/reylo-babies-confirmed) which completely broke me.  
> [Nar Shaddaa](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Nar_Shaddaa)
> 
> Thanks for reading! Until next time, when Rey's ability to "stay on the ship" is deeply tested... 
> 
> Please leave a comment or kudos with your thoughts :)


	3. Now You Owe Me One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you **Elliesmeow** for your comment and to all of you for kudos/bookmarks/reading! I really hope you're enjoying it so far.
> 
> I updated the tags to include a couple of new descriptors. **Slow burn** because, well, yeah . . . and also **space virgins.** That one kind of speaks for itself. ;)

Kylo studiously ignored the outfit hanging in his closet as he called the meeting of his Knights to order. Four of them were missing--Dantalion out hunting for Azura, Sallos and Mara on a reconnaissance mission in the Outer Rim Territories--but the other four were seated in various positions around his sparse, dimly-lit quarters. 

They were having a considerably harder time ignoring it.

“So are we expected to, well,  _ match _ ?” asked Zagan Ren, his one visible eye lit with amusement. He adjusted his eyepatch as he spoke, a tic which usually meant he was hiding something. This time, Kylo suspected the only thing he was hiding was his laughter. 

“I hope not,” said Abraxas Ren. “There isn’t time to make eight of those by tomorrow night.” His deep voice rumbled across the room, even without his mask.

Naberius Ren had to chime in. “But perhaps we should also have capes of blue--”

“Enough,” said Kylo.  _ Thank the stars Hela doesn’t talk much _ , he thought, grateful for his remaining Knight, stoic behind her immovable mask. The three others fell silent, waiting. They showed no fear in response to the scowl he knew was on his face. They were four of the nine total people in the galaxy who didn’t. 

_ Don’t think about her _ , said a voice in the back of his mind. Too late. The warning always came too late. How do you stop a constant stream? He cleared his throat. “We need to talk about Hux.”

“Give me ten minutes with him,” said Abraxas. “I guarantee you a personal apology by tomorrow morning.”

“Better yet, put Hela on his guard rotation for the next week,” said Zagan. “That’ll show him. He’s terrified of her.”

Kylo couldn’t help relaxing a bit in the presence of their easy banter. “I appreciate the effort,” he said, “but this isn’t about . . .” He waved his hand toward his closet. 

“Oh.” Zagan looked around, confused. “I thought this meeting was about punishing him for his insolence.”

“That explains why you were on time for a change,” muttered Abraxas. 

“So, if not that . . . why  _ are  _ we here?” Naberius looked confused.

“I want you to ingratiate yourselves with him,” said Kylo. 

All three men sat in stunned silence. Even Hela somehow managed to radiate surprise from the tilt of her head.

“I think I misheard you, my lord,” said Zagan slowly. “You suggested we get closer to that uniformed slime.”

“You’re not wrong. That’s what I said.”

Naberius looked horrified. “But--but--my lord, Hux is an arrogant, opportunistic--”

“--moofmilker,” finished Zagan. “And we all know it.”

Kylo swallowed back his amusement. “Are you done?”

“Not quite,” said Naberius, sitting up straighter. “Last week, he asked me  _ which one I was _ . Granted, I had my mask on, but still. As if anyone could mistake me for  _ Abraxas _ .”

“You wish,” said Abraxas, flexing his muscles. The two Knights could not be more different: Abraxas with his dark skin, bald head, and huge form; Naberius with blond hair and an attitude to make up for his size. 

Kylo couldn’t resist. “Perhaps he mistook you for Dantalion,” he said. The other vertically challenged Knight.

Naberius sank down in his seat. “That was low, my lord. You know I’m a inch taller.” 

“Not this again,” Zagan groaned.

Hela cleared her throat. All eyes turned to her. She so rarely spoke that any scratchy sound from beneath her mask was paid well attention to. “I have an idea,” she said.

“Go on.”

“Tonight, while Hux is sleeping, I will sneak into his chambers and smother him until he is dead. Then I will peel his skin from his bones and wear it as a dress to this . . . celebration.”

Silence.

Kylo glanced around at the matching looks of horror and--was that-- _ admiration  _ on the faces of his other Knights? “Thank you, Hela, but that won’t be necessary. We need him alive.”

“Oh.” She sounded disappointed.

“Perhaps later,” said Zagan. “I think she was onto something there.”

Kylo closed his eyes in an eternal quest for patience. “Anything else?” he asked.

“I have a question, my lord.” Abraxas shifted uncomfortably. “What’s the news on Azura?”

_ Oh, yeah, that. _ As Kylo’s eyes skipped across their faces, he saw they were all waiting expectantly, nervously. His Knights had been a kind of awkward family ever since that fateful day at Luke’s Temple when they swore their oaths of loyalty to him. He hadn’t had the heart to tell anyone but Dantalion what Azura had done--broken that oath. 

Especially because it would mean explaining his anger over the fate of one blasted Jedi. And they already asked him too many questions about that.

“She’s been on a covert mission,” he said instead, cursing himself for his lack of courage. “She should be back tonight.”

“And Dantalion?” 

“Extracting her,” said Kylo, which wasn’t exactly a lie. 

The others nodded. “Sounds about right,” muttered Abraxas. 

Kylo gave him a curious look, but decided to let it pass. “If those are all your questions . . .”

“So we really have to act like we respect Hux.” 

“Yes, Zagan.” 

“I don’t know if I have the acting ability for that.”

“Find it,” Kylo growled. 

Zagan sighed. “Very well.” 

After a few more minutes of chatter, the Knights agreed to reconvene in two weeks’ time for a report on their efforts. They stood as one and bowed.

“I’ll see you for training tomorrow,” said Abraxas. “Before the party.” His eyes flicked to the closet, amusement plain in his slow smile. At the expression on Kylo’s face, he hurried from the room.

Hela was still standing when the others had gone. “Anything else?” Kylo asked her, a bit startled. 

“About Hux.”

“Yes?”

“If you change your mind . . .” She let her words drop off, then bowed low and left on silent feet.

Kylo waited until the door closed behind her before sitting down.  _ Perhaps I  _ should _ add her to Hux’s guard.  _

Lying about Azura. Lying about Rey. It was nice for a change to think about something that made him smile.

#

Rey circled the living room of the tall, narrow house, glancing occasionally toward the drawn velvet curtains. 

“He only left ten minutes ago,” said Leia. “You should save the nervous pacing for at least forty.”

“I hope they don’t underestimate her. She’s fast with those knives,” Rey said. She rubbed the spot beneath her tunic, the one that was still healing from Azura’s little gift. 

“Something tells me Poe picked up on that.” Leia glanced up from the holopad she was reading. “Especially after you told him for the twentieth time.”

“But Finn doesn’t know.” Rey stopped by the closed curtains, her fingers itching to open them. True, she’d see nothing but inky darkness lit by the occasional ring of gold from a street lantern. But she couldn’t just  _ sit still. _

“Finn’s been studying the Knights of Ren for months now,” said Leia. “Trust me. He knows.”

Rey turned, but Leia was concentrating on the holopad again. It wasn’t by accident that Leia revealed other people’s assignments. Rey had heard only that Finn was spying on the First Order--and training others to do so--nothing else. So this was Leia’s way of calming her down, she thought. Nice of her to try.

Too bad it didn’t work.

Rey began to pace again. Images flashed in her head. Azura, catching onto their plan and disappearing into the night. Azura, running right into Finn with those deadly blades drawn. Poe, searching for Finn in the darkness as blood spilled on the ground.  _ No, no, no.  _ Rey squeezed her eyes shut.

Leia cleared her throat. Flicked something on the holopad. Glanced up. “How’s the lightsaber going?” she asked, very deliberately. 

It was the one subject Rey normally avoided. “Not well,” she admitted, pausing in her pacing. She picked at a loose thread on one of the armchairs. “I can’t seem to get the vents right.”

“And there’s nothing in those old books that can help?”

The Jedi texts. Rey pictured them as they were in that moment, stuffed into an old leather bag she’d carried from the Falcon. Tucked in the corner of Padme Amidala’s room.

Unopened. 

“Not that I’ve seen,” Rey lied, and continued pacing.

Leia reached out a hand to stop Rey’s path when it went past her chair. Her eyes were gentle when she glanced up. “Sit down, Rey.”

Rey did. It didn’t feel like the kind of order she should disobey, much as she wanted to. 

Leia studied her, setting aside the holopad and sitting up in her seat. “It’s been a rough few months for you, I know.”

Rey didn’t like where this was going. “Not any harder than it’s been for anyone else,” she said, avoiding those sharp brown eyes. 

Leia waved her words aside. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

Rey’s heart stopped. Was she saying what Rey thought she was saying? Was it possible--the connections--could Leia  _ know? _

“Killing Snoke can’t have been easy for you. Not to mention escaping from the First Order.” Leia’s eyes were hard to ignore. “But I meant the inaction. I know it’s never been your strong suit.”

Oh. Rey’s heart beat too loudly now as relief and disappointment mingled within her.  _ She would never let you stay,  _ Rey told herself.  _ Not if she knew the truth.  _ When word got out from the First Order that Rey was wanted for Snoke’s death, she hadn’t even had the heart to correct everyone who was suddenly flooding past her room on Akiva, doling out high-fives. Weakly, she said, “That’s true, I suppose.”

“You’re our beacon of hope,” Leia said plainly. “That means something. That does more to motivate the Resistance than any mission could do.”

“I guess you’re right."

Leia narrowed her eyes. “And you don’t like it. Do you?”

This surprised Rey. She sat up, finally meeting Leia’s eyes full on. “It’s not that I’m not grateful.”

“But . . .?”

“But I don’t deserve it,” said Rey. “I’m not  _ doing  _ anything.”  _ I’m nobody _ , she thought to herself.  _ Just Rey. Just a girl from Jakku who doesn’t belong anywhere.  _

Except once, for a few minutes, she felt as if she belonged. And what kind of messed up person was she, that she found belonging in the hands of her enemy?

“Aren’t you listening to me?” Leia asked, drawing Rey’s thoughts away from dangerous territory. “It’s not about deserving anything. All you need to do is keep existing. Keep the Jedi light from going out. That’s  _ hope _ .” Leia’s tone brooked no argument. They both knew the power that hope could bring. 

Rey nodded. Leia watched her for a moment longer, then went back to her holopad. The silence blanketed everything, leaving Rey alone with a single thought. 

_ What if I don’t know how? _

#

_ Tap-tap-tap-tap.  _ Kylo drummed his gloved fingers on his desk, waiting for the  _ ping  _ of Dantalion’s incoming transmission. It should arrive any moment now. He’d already waited over an hour past their scheduled time. 

When a few minutes passed and he still hadn’t checked in, Kylo gave up staring at his holoprojector and dug in his drawer for the Sith holocron instead. After Snoke’s death, he’d gained full access to the former Supreme Leader’s quarters, and this was one of many Sith relics he’d uncovered. They were carefully categorized, which made it easy to go back into that catalog and find this one a few days ago, after that fateful conversation with Rey. The one about ending their Force bond. 

Or the “connections,” as she called them. Kylo couldn’t resist a bitter smile at the memory. She knew so little of the Force. She didn’t realize what she was asking of him, or of herself, when she asked for them to end. 

Well, she would get what she wished for. 

He closed his eyes, setting the holocron on the desk before him. No sooner had he begun to reach out tentatively with the Force than he felt its pull. Like a planet-sized tug from gravity, the holocron sucked Kylo’s attention to itself, until he was circling it with his Force sense, seeking a way in.

He encountered smooth, even edges without a single flaw or entry point. Gradually, the pyramidal shape of the holocron began to form in his mind’s eye, only now it was a pure absence of light, like a black hole, as opposed to the smooth black-and-red surface it wore in reality. He prodded it. Curled his sense around it. Tried gripping it in an imaginary vice.

Nothing. 

He opened his eyes and sat back. A headache was starting to form, and what had felt like a few moments of effort had actually been twenty minutes. He took several deep breaths, letting the anger rise in him and fuel him, before closing his eyes again. 

A black pyramidal void. No entry points, no cracks, no way in. No response. Just that magnetic pull, a power that was undeniable. 

When Kylo was finally interrupted by Dantalion’s ping about an hour later, his headache wasn’t the only thing that was raging. 

“You’re late,” he snarled.

“Sorry, your highness.” By the hesitation in Dantalion’s voice, Kylo could sense the mission had not gone well. 

“What happened?”

Dantalion glanced over his shoulder, then back to Kylo. Even the low quality of the pale blue holo couldn’t hide the regret on his face. “I wasn’t the only one there tonight.”

Kylo gritted his teeth. “What do you mean?”

“We had company. Resistance agents. I didn’t get a good look at them, but I caught them trying to stun Azura right as I showed up. She hit one.”

“And?”

“They escaped.” Dantalion looked down at his feet. “So did she.”

Kylo smashed his hand across the table. The holocron went flying, along with the holoprojector, both of them crashing into the wall on his left and bouncing off his durasteel floors. The holoprojector broke apart, Dantalion disappearing on impact. The holocron, of course, didn’t open. It landed bottom-down with a heavy thunk. 

Kylo closed his eyes. The headache was exploding with pain now, stars appearing in the darkness. He’d pushed himself too far. And he had nothing to show for it. 

_ Yet again.  _

He stood up and marched over to his comm panel. “Get me a new holoprojector,” he barked, barely listening when the voice on the other end hastily agreed. “And send me Azura’s personnel file.” 

Time to do it himself.

#

“That carpet is three hundred years old,” said Ryoo, staring at the roughed-up path Rey had worn around the room. 

“I tried to tell her,” said Leia from the corner.

“Sorry.” Rey went over to the window, where the curtains were still closed. It was late in the night now; the city beyond had been silent for hours. And still no Poe.

“I brought caf.” Ryoo set down a tray on the low wooden table at the center of the room. Leia thanked her and immediately poured a cup, but Rey’s stomach knotted at the thought of eating or drinking anything, which showed how truly bad things were.

“Can’t Rose or Snap check on them?” asked Rey.

“If things are going according to plan, Rose and Snap are otherwise occupied,” said Leia. 

Right. The extraction. Rey began pacing again, over to her favorite armchair this time. She rested her elbows against the back and watched as Leia sipped her steaming cup.  _ It’s fine _ , Rey told herself for the hundredth time.  _ Rose and Snap are taking off with Azura right now. She’s on her way to the rendezvous point. It’s fine.  _

A heavy fist banged on the door.

Leia was the only one who didn’t startle, casually setting down her cup as if someone had asked her the weather. “Better let him in,” she said.

Rey was already halfway to the door. When she got there, she realized she couldn’t unlock the panel without Ryoo’s code, and she turned back desperately, only to be waved aside by the elder woman. A quick few taps and the door clicked. Rey flung it open. 

Poe was breathing heavily on the other side. He all but dove into the hallway as Ryoo shut and locked the door behind him. “Water,” he gasped.

Ryoo disappeared into the kitchen. Rey watched helplessly as he bent over his knees and sucked in air. Sweat dripped from his forehead to the hallway floor. His hair stuck to his temples. And was that--Rey’s heart stuttered. Was that  _ blood _ on his hands?

“Where’s Finn?” she asked.

Poe glanced up. “Thanks for your concern. I’m fine.”

“Are you injured?” she stepped closer, scanning him for the source of the blood.

He shook his head. More sweat dripped to the floor. Ryoo returned and handed him a large glass, which he downed in three gulps. She refilled it from a pitcher in her other hand, and by the second glass, he was breathing more normally. “Finn,” he said at Rey’s desperate look. “She got him with one of those blasted throwing knives. Right thigh. I helped him bandage it. He should be fine.”

“And Azura . . .?”

“Why don’t you come and sit down?” said Leia drily from the threshold to the living room. “Caf’s getting cold.”

Poe staggered gratefully into the room and collapsed on an armchair. Rey and the others took seats around him, Leia slowly pouring him a cup.

“Thanks,” he said. That was definitely blood on his fingertips as he took the cup. Rey’s pulse shattered her eardrums.  _ No no no,  _ she kept thinking, over and over. 

“We weren’t alone,” said Poe after a sip of caf. “First Order showed up shortly after we did. The message worked--” he shot Rey a regretful look “--and things were going fine until our Knightly visitor.”

“Knightly? As in . . .?”

“Another Knight of Ren,” said Poe. “The short one. Dantalion, I think.”

Leia set down her cup, brow wrinkling. “And Finn?”

“Injured in the struggle, but I got him away. He had his own saferoom, but I told him to skedaddle once he was bandaged up. That’s what took me so long.”

Leia nodded. “Good.” She lowered her voice. “And Dantalion . . .”

“Left empty-handed,” said Poe. “I saw Azura scamper off in the fray.” He shuddered. “That mask is hard to miss, even in the darkness.”

Rey tightened her hands into fists on her legs. “So Finn’s going to be all right?”

“Yes.” Poe met her gaze steadily. “I promise, Rey.”

Leia sighed. “At least he has an escape route. Tell Rose and Snap to extract him as soon as possible.”

“Yes, General.”

“And we’ll have to lay low. I’m sure the First Order is searching every berth in Theed. We can’t take off tonight.”

“Take off?” Rey blinked at Leia, not sure if she heard right. “But we have to get Azura. She’s still here. We can find her--”

Leia shook her head. “No, Rey. It’s too much of a risk, especially now that the First Order knows we’re here.” She glanced sharply at Poe. “Were you seen?”

“I don’t think so. We were too far away for him to identify me, and it was dark.”

“Hmm. That’s one piece of good news, then.” She sipped thoughtfully at her caf.

“General . . .” Poe glanced from Rey to Leia. “Rey has a point. This could be our best shot at a prisoner of Azura’s importance.”

“Absolutely not.” Leia set down her cup with a clink that felt definitive and final. “We tried. We failed. We live to fight another day.” She narrowed her eyes at them both. “The First Order was one step ahead of us this time. They won’t be next time. That’s what matters.”

Her words made Rey freeze.  _ The First Order was one step ahead of us this time.  _ She remembered the conversation she had with Poe on the Falcon about Azura.  _ Theed.  _ She’d said it out loud. 

When Ben could overhear it. 

A nauseating mix of rage and guilt filled her at the memory.  _ It’s my fault _ , she thought. But then she remembered Ben’s face, the way he stared at her so intensely she thought Poe would know somehow _.  _ She gritted her teeth.  _ No. _

_ It’s his.  _

“--leave tomorrow during the party,” Leia was saying. “They’ll be expecting an attack there, and security will be high, but not for planet departures.”

“Good idea,” said Poe, nodding. “Do you think the Falcon will be all right until then?”

“Let’s hope the codes hold up,” said Leia.

“The queen would never let them search that berth without a fight,” Ryoo added. “Too much effort for a ship that checks out.”

Rey knew she should be paying attention. But the words sank into her brain and disappeared, smothered by overwhelming anger. She jumped to her feet. 

Heads turned in her direction. 

“I’ll be in my room,” she said stiffly. She turned and climbed the stairs two at a time before anyone could protest. Dimly, she registered Leia saying, “Let her be,” but then she was already upstairs and closing her door.

She flicked the lock. 

And then she did something she’d never done before.

She closed her eyes and reached for Ben. 

#

The connection bloomed just as Kylo was going to try to sleep. _Because of_ __co_ urse _ _ ,  _ he thought, annoyed. Yes, that was the prickling, breathless sensation she brought. Annoyance. “Not now,” he growled.

“Get up.” 

He sat up despite himself, blankets falling to his waist, exposing his bare chest to the cold. That tone . . . he hadn’t heard her angry like this since the throne room, when she faced down Snoke.  

Sure enough, she was standing at the foot of his bed, righteous fury blazing in her eyes. Her chest rose and fell in rapid breaths, straining against her tunic, turning her cheeks slightly red. Her hair had come loose from the half-bun she wore, falling in gentle waves around her shoulders. It had grown, he thought, and he hadn’t noticed. 

She was beautiful. 

His body reacted a second behind his brain.  _ I guess I won’t be standing up, then,  _ he thought with a flash of regret. He would’ve liked to tower over her right now. To meet that rage in her eyes face to face. Instead, he fisted his hands in the blankets knotted around the waistband of his trousers.

“I said  _ get. Up. _ ” Her eyes flicked down over his bare skin and he hardened even further. 

“I was sleeping,” he said without moving. 

“Like hell you were,” she spat. “You think I don’t know what you’ve been up to? Eavesdropping on my conversations? Using me as your  _ spy _ ?” She could barely get the words out.

_ Ah. So that’s what this is about.  _ “I can’t help what I overhear,” he said. Somehow the angrier she got, the more calm he felt. It was so easy to rile her. Even his headache had gone away.

“Don’t play games with me,” she said. His fists clenched even harder at the breathlessness in her tone. “Tell me the truth. You sent that Knight to Azura because you overheard it from me.”

“He’d been tracking her for a while.”

“Don’t lie to me, Ben.”

_ Oh, hells.  _ Did she have to use his name like that? “I never lie,” he said matter-of-factly. “Not to you.” It wasn’t a ploy. It was the simple truth. The words slipped out before he could stop them.

She narrowed her eyes, still breathing hard. Was she scanning him again, or avoiding his gaze? Her cheeks were turning redder, but that could be from the anger, not from the slowly tightening string between them.  _ Perhaps she doesn’t feel it,  _ a small voice said in the back of his mind. “Then tell me one thing,” she said.

He waited. 

“I want you to tell me where Azura’s going.”

He raised one eyebrow. “Why would I do that?”

“Because I gave you one. Now you owe me one.”

“I didn’t realize we had that kind of bargain.” 

Rey met his eyes and swallowed. The simple motion made his cock twitch. “Tell me,” she said. 

“So you can go after her and get stabbed again? I don’t think so.”

That made the fire blaze right up again. “I don’t need your protection.”

She didn’t. He knew that better than anyone. But it surged up in him anyway. “So what  _ do  _ you need from me, Rey?”

Her gaze wavered, and her flush grew darker. Had hearing her name from his lips had the same effect on her? He studied her closely, wanting to find answers in the expression on her face, as he had before. “I need . . .”

His entire body strained to hear the end of that sentence. 

“I need you to tell me where Azura’s going next.” She looked away. 

Disappointment dropped like cold water over the heat of the moment, turning his skin to ice. She wanted the truth? Very well. She would get it. “She’s coming to the party tomorrow.” Or today, rather. It had to be close to dawn by now. 

Irritation and something else flicked over Rey’s features. “How do you know?”

He shrugged. “It fits. She’s cunning. She’s going to use the public forum to plead her case.”

Now Rey’s face was entirely shuttered. Whatever tension had been present before was gone now, dropped into the gulf that had opened between them. “And you’ll welcome her back with open arms, I’m sure.”

“Something like that.” An unlikely thought stirred him. Rey wouldn’t actually  _ attend _ the party, would she? To get her revenge? Surely even she would not take the risk. The Resistance would never allow it. But it would kill her to stay away. Kylo smiled at the thought.

Rey turned her back to him, but not before he caught a glimpse of her glare. It seared right through him, heating him up all over again. Yes, she wanted to be there. 

Desperately. 

“Now, if you’re done, I’m going to sleep,” he said, purposefully adding some distance to his tone.

Her shoulders were tense. He felt the cord between the two of them loosening, about to go slack. But she muttered something that sounded a lot like “bastard” before she disappeared. 

He collapsed back on his pillows, breathing hard. Somehow it felt less like a victory now that she was gone. 

And he was definitely not getting any sleep that night. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dantalion somewhere nearby: someone is calling me short right now, and I *will* have my revenge. XD
> 
> Thanks for reading! Next time we will finally see what Ben's wearing to the celebration . . . among other things. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts! :)


	4. Are You Sure?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, you met horny Ben. May I now present, without further ado . . . **horny Rey.**

Rey glared into the darkness of her room as Ben’s presence faded behind her. “Insufferable bastard,” she muttered. Sitting there all smug with his dark hair tousled around his head. Cool and uncaring as the silken blankets around his waist. She ground her teeth together. He made her skin itch.  _ I hate him.  _

She stripped down to her undergarments and climbed beneath the heavy blankets of her own bed. They smelled fresh and clean, liked they’d been washed with some kind of herby soap. The mattress beneath her was soft as moss. Tired as she was, she should have been sinking into that warmth, embracing the comfort of sleep. 

But she was wide awake as if she’d been electrified.

She tossed and turned for a while before giving up and pulling the top blanket with her as she rolled to the carpeted floor.  _ Ahh.  _ That was more familiar. The hard surface of the AT-AT, tempered by a thin layer of whatever blankets she could scrounge up, had been the most blissful place on earth after a day’s hard scavenging on Jakku. Comfortable beds and sumptuous blankets were foreign to her.

Even on the floor, she soon found herself lying on her back, staring at the ceiling. Sleep wouldn’t come. She kept seeing Ben’s eyes as they tracked down her face, her neck, her body. Her skin flooded with uncomfortable heat at the memory, and wetness seeped between her legs. She clenched them together and turned on her side.  _ This isn’t happening _ . And then she would hear Ben’s voice as he said her name, deep and low . . .

_ Stop thinking about it.  _ Rey forced herself to close her eyes and calm her breathing, as Luke taught her to do on Ahch-To. But even that didn’t quite succeed: her thoughts turned instead to the celebration tomorrow, to the knowledge that Ben was  _ right there.  _

Within her reach.

She turned on her side, tucking her hands beneath her chin. It was too risky. Leia was right--they had to get out while they could, to fight another day. But Rey couldn’t resist picturing Ben’s face as he was informed that she had snuck into the palace--that Azura was  _ gone-- _

It wasn’t the same as seeing him in person, but catching Azura would be a win. Rey would have to be careful. But there  _ must  _ be a way . . . 

A knock sounded on her door, and she sat bolt upright. “What is it?”

Poe’s voice was muffled. “We have a situation.”

“I’ll be right there.” Rey was already scrambling up, pulling on her discarded clothes. She managed to get one boot on by the time she reached the top of the stairs. She was halfway down, the other boot in her hand, when she heard a familiar voice. 

“--and I’ll get there. Tell them that.”

Leia’s response: “That’s not happening.”

“Finn!” Rey raced down the rest of the stairs, dashing around the corner into the living room. She froze at the scene before her. Finn took up the entirety of the ornate couch, his right leg stretched out in front of him, a bloody bandage wrapped over the leg of his pants. Poe was pacing behind him, hands on hips, bags under his eyes. Leia stood by the mantel, propping herself up with a hand against the wall. Only Ryoo looked unfazed, sitting in the corner with her colorful pet lizard on her lap.

“Rey!” Finn tried to get up, but flinched and sat back again.

“Don’t move,” said Poe.

“Yeah, you kriffing idiot,” said Rey, but she was grinning so hard her face hurt. She crossed the room in three quick strides and fell on her knees beside him, hugging him as hard as she could. 

“I can’t believe you almost died on me,” he said. “What did I tell you?”

_ No crazy risks. No sacrifices.  _ “I could say the same to you.”

He pulled back and waved at his leg. “This is nothing. You should see the other guy.”

“Finn, I know it was Azura.”

He shook his head. “Does no one care about my dignity?”

“You should be proud,” said Rey seriously. “She’s not an easy one to walk away from.”

“Technically, he was limping,” said Poe. 

Finn shot him a glare, but Poe’s grin made it disappear. 

“I missed you,” Rey whispered, taking his hand. Finn shot her a smile and squeezed her hand back.

“Now that the reunion is over, we have a problem to solve.” Leia stood from the wall and began to pace. Rey resisted making a comment about the carpet--barely. Over in the corner, Ryoo looked amused. 

“Rose and Snap were caught trying to land by a Republic security vessel. They had to take off quick. We don’t know how much the Republic saw--or how much they passed on to the First Order,” said Leia.

“I still don’t think they would have shared anything, even if they  _ did  _ realize what they were seeing,” said Poe. He turned an inquiring glance on Leia. “Surely they don’t actually consider the Supreme Leader to be an  _ ally _ \--”

“I suggest you reacquaint yourself with definition of the word ‘treaty,’” said Leia drily. 

Poe rolled his eyes and turned away.

“Where are Rose and Snap now?” asked Rey. 

Finn shifted, letting go of Rey’s hand to rub a palm down his exhausted face. “They managed to land outside the city, in the cover of the forest. We got their coordinates right before comms went dark.”

“Purposefully,” Leia clarified. “We don’t want any more chatter getting picked up.”

“Right.” Rey sorted this information carefully before standing and facing Leia. “Send me. I can get Finn there by sunrise.”

A disbelieving smile crossed Leia’s face. “I see our conversation from a few hours ago really stuck.”

“Poe’s already been spotted with Finn. They’ll be looking for two men. Not a man and a woman.”  _ And I can always fall back on the Force.  _ Rey didn’t say it out loud, but she hoped Leia would read the message in her stare. After all, the general, with her strong presence in the Force, knew better than anyone the benefits of having that particular card up her sleeve.

“We don’t know that they’re looking for anyone,” said Leia. “And we really don’t want them to find  _ you _ .” She brushed past Rey to face Finn and Poe. “What are our chances waiting out the night?”

Poe hesitated. “No way to tell without--”

“Waiting?” Rey rushed forward. “Leia, you said it yourself. Finn needs to get out of here as quickly as possible to maintain his cover.”  _ Whatever that is,  _ she thought. “Send me. I promise, I won’t let you down.”

Leia lifted a hand to Rey’s shoulder: gentle, but firm. “And you never have before. That’s not in question.”

“But I--”

“Rey.” Finn’s voice was soft. “She’s right. We can’t risk it.”

Rey stared at him so long he looked away, abashed. The silence that settled over them was heavy and awkward.

“Ahem.” 

Everyone glanced to the corner, where Ryoo was feeding the lizard tiny purple berries. “I have a suggestion,” she said. 

Leia raised an eyebrow. “Go on.”

“If we acquire a royal transport, you can make it to the swamps unmolested. No one would dare stop the queen.”

“And where are we going to get one of those?” Leia did not sound hopeful. She was already turning away, back to more likely solutions.

“A holo should do it.”

“I’m sorry?” Leia glanced at Poe, whose arms had fallen to his sides, disbelief and hope on his face.

“A holo. From me. To the queen. A transport should be here in . . . I don’t know . . . an hour?”

Leia threw her arms to the sky. “Why didn’t you say so?”

“I’m saying so now, aren’t I?”

Leia rolled her eyes, shaking her head. But a smile played across her lips. It was a resigned sort of smile, the kind that said,  _ Family. What can you do? _

Or at least, Rey imagined that’s what it said. She wouldn’t know.

“So that’s a yes?” Ryoo asked, holding out a berry for the lizard to swipe from her fingers with his long tongue.

“Yes!” said Finn, Leia, and Poe all at once. 

Ryoo held up her hands. “All right, there’s no need to shout.”

After the call had been placed and the transport was on its way, Poe and Leia followed Ryoo into the dining area, supposedly for more caf. Rey was grateful for their unspoken kindness. She hadn’t seen Finn in ages, and she was relieved to have a moment alone. 

“One question,” said Finn from the couch. “What  _ is _ that thing?”

“ _ He  _ is a sun-lizard.” Rey stroked the creature’s spiky back. Ryoo had handed him over as she left with a secret smile. “His name is Kresch.”

Kresch purred contentedly beneath Rey’s fingers. Finn glared at him. 

“My turn,” said Rey. She flicked her head at his leg. “How bad is it, really?”

He picked at the edge of the bandage. “I’ll be fine. I’ve seen worse.”

“Have you?” Rey’s fingers paused on the lizard’s back until he nipped at her fingers to get them moving again. 

“Yes. I have.” Finn’s eyes were grim across the room. “Let’s just say your little stint in the medical ward on Akiva was nothing compared to--” he stopped. Bit his lip. 

So he still couldn’t reveal his location. “Poor Rose,” said Rey before she could think.

Finn’s brow furrowed. “Why do you say that?”

_ Men.  _ Rey resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “She just misses you, that’s all.”

Finn’s gaze shifted to the curtains. “I miss her, too. And you. And . . . Poe. All of you.”

“Any idea when you’ll be coming back?”

He shook his head. Silence fell, except for Kresch’s purring. 

“And what about you?” Finn asked at last. 

“What about me?”

“How’s the lightsaber coming?”

Ugh. Not this again. But with Finn, it was different. Rey could tell him the truth, couldn’t she? “Not very well,” she said, and held her breath for his answer. 

He shook his head. “You’ll be fine. You’ll get it.”

“But . . .”

“You just need more time, right? And besides, maybe boots on the ground will win this thing after all.” He grinned.

Rey forced herself to smile back despite the sinking feeling in her chest. “Right.”

As if noticing something in her smile, Finn’s gaze turned concerned, and he leaned forward, only flinching a little at the shift of his leg. “Rey . . . Don’t worry. You should hear the way people talk about you out there.” He gestured at the window. “You give them  _ hope. _ ”

“But . . . how? I’m not doing anything.”

He reached out across the gap between them, squeezing her hand again. “You don’t have to,” he said. Then he sat back, his hand falling away. “Just be the last Jedi. That’s enough.”  
Rey bit her tongue to keep from saying, _But what if I don’t want to?_

The words dropped inside her like stones into a pond, sending ripples of shock through her system. She’d never thought that before, not even in her worst moments when the lightsaber wouldn’t light and she couldn’t sleep and she had an ache in her chest waiting to be filled by a connection that wouldn’t come. She might not fully understand who the Jedi  _ were _ , not yet, but she’d accepted that deep down, she owed it to Luke, and to the Resistance, to become one.

_ Luke.  _

Guilt washed over her. She was being selfish and petty. This wasn’t her choice--it was bigger than her. It was about saving the galaxy. About bringing balance to the Force. Ridding the universe from the threat of the First Order and the Dark Side. 

Living in peace. 

“You’re right,” she said. Then a bit louder: “Of course you’re right.” Perhaps if she kept saying it, she would convince herself that it was true. 

“Besides,” said Finn, “the time will come when you’ll be strong enough to kill Kylo Ren. And I just hope I’m there to see it.”

Her gut twisted. She couldn’t even bring herself to return his grin. She opened her mouth to say something,  _ anything,  _ when-- “Ouch!”

A single drop of blood welled up at the tip of her index finger. Kresch had nipped her, hard. She hadn’t been petting him for a while now. “That was mean,” she said to him sternly, before giving in and rubbing his chin. 

“I’m telling you,” said Finn, glaring at the lizard again. “There’s something wrong with that thing.”

About an hour later, a knock sounded at the front door. Kresch lifted his head from where he’d fallen asleep on Rey’s lap. A moment later, Ryoo appeared from the kitchen, Leia and Poe right behind. She held a finger over her lips to Rey and Finn, indicating silence. Cracking open the door, she said, “Do you know what time it is?”  
A soft female voice replied, “Time for a shuura, Auntie.”

Everyone, including Rey, held their breath before Ryoo flung the door open. “Come in, Ailana.”

The young woman who stepped inside was robed in the most stunning sunset colors that Rey had ever seen. There was something almost familiar about the ensemble, which dripped from orange to bright yellow at its hem. Beneath her fiery hood, Ailana’s features were demure, her brown eyes downcast and her lips serious. But then her eyes flicked up and bounced around the room, taking in all its occupants with a shrewd glance, and Rey’s estimation of Ailana changed completely. Here was someone with great skill hiding beneath a mask of ceremonial beauty. “Your transport awaits,” she said.

Rey shoved a disgruntled Kresch off her lap to help Finn as he struggled to stand. Pulling his arm over her shoulders, she helped him limp across the room. “How will we know when it’s all done?” 

“I will send you a holo myself, Rey of Jakku.”

Rey tamped down her surprise. “Thank you,” she said. Ailana looked briefly amused as she reached out to take Finn’s other arm over her shoulders. 

Finn pulled Rey into his chest. “Remember,” he said into her ear. “You can do this.” Then he pressed something small and cold into her hand. A bracelet of some kind. She turned it over in her palm, hiding it with her fingers.  _ A wristband comm link. _

When she stepped back, Finn winked.

“Be safe.” Poe ducked in for a lingering hug, his face serious. 

“Good luck, Finn,” said Leia. He nodded in return. One more glance at Rey, and then he was leaning on Ailana as she carried him into the night. The door slid shut after them.

But not before Rey had seen Ailana’s full dress in the fading lamplight. 

Her lips parted in surprise, and Poe gave her an odd look.  _ That’s  _ why it was familiar. 

She’d seen the exact same robes upstairs, in Padme Amidala’s wardrobe.

#

Kylo’s lightsaber hissed and crackled as it bounced off the edge of Abraxas’s electro-plasma blade. His restless sleep had led him here to the training room a couple of hours before dawn. And even this didn’t seem to be helping. Growling in irritation, he whirled and thrust again, only to be repelled once more. Sweat dripped into his eyes, stinging them, and he wiped it away just in time to avoid a return blow.

Abraxas panted, his gray shirt stained black from exertion. “Rest?” he gasped.

“Not yet.” Kylo lunged again, feeling the Force curl and twist around him, guiding his blade in heavy arcs. Abraxas parried and parried again, stepping backward, losing ground. It wasn’t until his ankle faltered that Kylo realized the danger he was putting his Knight into. Sparring was one thing; pushing the limit with real weapons was another. Kylo pulled up, killing his saber.

Abraxas slumped forward in relief. “Thanks.” He moved slowly to the side of the training room, grabbing a towel and using it to wipe down his bald head. 

“I should have listened.” Kylo crossed to stand beside Abraxas, taking a towel for himself. “Stop me next time.” 

It was the closest he’d get to an apology, and Abraxas seemed to sense this, dropping his towel with a smile. “It’s no problem. You seem . . . frustrated.” Was that amusement in his voice?

“It’s nothing,” said Kylo quickly. 

“Ah.” Abraxas picked up a canteen of water and took several long gulps. When he was finished, he handed it over to Kylo. “And where in the galaxy is ‘Nothing’ now?”

Kylo snatched the canteen, splashing some water down its sides. “I don’t know what you  mean.”

“I heard she was last spotted leaving Kashyyyk. With some injuries.”

“Who told you that?” Were his Knights gossiping again? Dantalion? Maybe his braid needed to be shortened by a few inches.

Abraxas’s smile widened to a real grin. “So you admit it.”

“What?”

“That Jedi girl. Rey. You want to find her this badly?” Abraxas gestured at the training room floor, dotted with drops of sweat from their session. Perhaps his gesture was meant to encompass even more: their ship, orbiting Naboo. The Republic ships around them, visible through the transparisteel at their backs. The treaty they had just signed.

Kylo took a long sip from the canteen. The water quenched the dryness of his throat and provided a much needed delay in giving an answer. By the time he swallowed, Abraxas looked positively gleeful. Kylo shoved the canteen into his hands. “I don’t have time for chatter,” he said, and turned to leave the room.

“Wait, Supreme Leader.”

Kylo turned back.

“I saw Dantalion return to the ship. Alone.”

How convenient. A briefing with the failed Knight would give satisfying vent to Kylo’s frustration. Still, Abraxas was watching him with a question in his eyes that demanded an answer. “The extraction failed,” said Kylo. “Resistance got in the way.”

“Resistance--here?” Abraxas looked surprised, a hint of something like respect creeping into his voice. “They have balls, I’ll give ‘em that.”

“They still have allies in the Republic,” Kylo ground out. “We’ll have to be on the lookout tonight. Tell the others.”

“Yes, my lord.”

Kylo hesitated. He didn’t want to bring her up again, but . . . “And if you see the Jedi . . .” he heard himself saying. 

Abraxas’s face contorted as he resisted the urge to smile. “Yes, my lord?”

“Leave her to me.” Kylo turned and left the room before the discussion could continue, but a low chuckle slipped out behind him anyway as the door slid closed. 

Blasted Knights. 

Speaking of . . . Kylo stormed in the direction of Dantalion’s chambers, flexing his gloved fingers. Though the early hours of the morning meant that the halls were light on staff, Kylo passed several uniformed officers on his way through the narrow, utilitarian spaces. Each time, they scuttled out of the way, staring at their boots in a gesture of respect. Somehow, the sight only made him angrier.

_ Because you don’t deserve it,  _ said a voice in his head, the one he hadn’t quite succeeded in silencing.  _ You’re not worthy. You’re not a leader. _

Kylo dug his fingers into his palms. Through the protection of his leather gloves, he felt no pain. It didn’t matter, because he’d learned by now that even the pain wasn’t enough to silence Snoke’s insidious whisper. That voice should have gone out the moment Kylo flicked his fingers and ignited his grandfather’s lightsaber. And yet, here he was, still at its mercy. 

There was only one thing that made the voice go completely silent. 

Before his thoughts could wander any further in that particular direction, he reached Dantalion’s quarters at last. “Dantalion. Open up.”

Footsteps echoed a moment before the door slid open. “Your highness.”

Kylo was in no mood for his jokes. “I’m assuming by your presence here that you have found Azura and made plans for her extraction?”

Dantalion hesitated. “No, my lord. I’m afraid I lost her trail.”

“Then  _ why are you not down there finding it again? _ ” 

The Knight raised a dark eyebrow, glanced up and down the hallway, and stepped aside. “You’d better come in, my lord.”

Kylo stormed past him into the room. It could not have felt more different from Kylo’s own chambers: besides the thick rug on the floor from some far-off Rimworld, there were two sumptuous armchairs centered around a small table and a wall-hanging made from exotic black-and-silver silks. Even the blankets on the bed were made from heavy, forest-green weave, lending color to the room. It was like stepping off the starship and onto a foreign planet.

“I wasn’t able to trace Azura, but I did discover something else.” Dantalion punched his door closed before turning back to face Kylo. “The Resistance safehouse.”

“You’re certain?”

Dantalion nodded. “I followed the trail of blood from the injured one. It led to a hole-in-the-wall guesthouse, nothing fancy. I was just arriving when I caught them leaving again.”  
“Who?”

“Two men. One dark-haired, the other dark-skinned. I couldn’t see their faces.”

“Very good.” Kylo had a few guesses as to who they might be. The traitor FN-2187, for one. Rey’s  _ friend.  _ And if he were here--

Was there really a possibility that she could be down there right now, a mere planetside journey away from him? Surely he would sense it, if she were that close? And surely his . . . surely Leia would never allow it. Too risky. 

Unless she didn’t know about . . . them?

“Get Abraxas and Hela. I’ll meet you at the shuttle bay in ten minutes.”

“But . . . my lord--”

Kylo turned toward Dantalion, letting his impatience turn to anger on his face, and the Knight flinched back. But still he found the courage to speak. “It’s just that . . . the treaty. Your audience with the Chancellor. They’ll notice if you’re not there.”

He was right. Kylo had promised to attend a special welcome from the Queen of Naboo that very morning. If he didn’t show up, it could be seen as a violation of the terms of their treaty.  _ Blast this peace celebration _ , he thought, his anger threatening to choke him. But it was worth it, if it brought her to him . . . “Very well,” he said in a low voice. “I want the three of you to get to that safehouse and bring in anyone you find. Alive.” 

Dantalion bowed, his braid slipping over his shoulder. “It will be done, my lord.”

Kylo stepped up to him, so that when he straightened, they were face to face, save for about a foot. “See that you do not fail.”

#

Rey closed her eyes and tilted her head to catch the stream of hot water, breathing a sigh of relief as it slid down her hair and back. Steam rose around her, scented with the same crisp smell of her soap. It reminded her of sunshine and warmth, like the tart yellow fruit Ryoo kept in a bowl in her kitchen downstairs. 

It should have been soothing. Instead, Rey’s breaths were short, her pulse quickening with each spike of adrenaline prompted by the same circling thought: _This could work._

The idea had come to her fully formed as Ryoo shut the door on Ailana and Finn. “My niece,” Ryoo had said. “A handmaiden to the queen.” 

And in that moment, Rey knew.

Shifting, she turned her face to the water, holding her breath for as long as she could while the heat soothed her nerves. It wasn’t very often anymore that she felt truly warm _ \-- _ not since leaving Jakku. A part of her wanted to stay in this refresher forever. No need to think about Azura, about the party, about Ben.

But this was their best chance. She could sense it. She had to do this.

She reached to turn off the water before opening her eyes.

And then she yelped.

A  _ stranger  _ stood not far from her, just beyond the refresher. Through the fogged glass between them, Rey could see the tall, imposing shape of him, crowned with a dark blur of hair. And was that--a  _ cape? _

She slammed off the water and cracked open the door, fumbling for her towel. “Who--who are you?” 

“Very funny,” said the dark shape in a familiar deadpan voice, and Rey felt a stab of shock in her gut.

Surely not. This person--could it be-- “Ben?” she whispered.

He started to look over his shoulder.

“Don’t turn around!” she shouted, far too loudly, and he froze. Her heartbeat raced, deafening her, as she tugged the towel until it covered the most important bits. “Stay where you are.”

He didn’t move, but she read curiosity in the tilt of his head. She knew she should try to push him away, to shut down this connection, but then she got a better look at him and all thoughts fled her brain. 

He was wearing  _ blue.  _ Deep blue, the color of the first strokes of night against a twilit sky. It cascaded off his shoulders in a fall of lush velvet that her fingers suddenly longed to stroke. She slipped out of the refresher, stepping closer. Was that-- _ embroidery _ along the soft edges of his cloak? Something silver and intricate, like a curling vine. It made his curls look darker than ever by contrast. 

No wonder he’d looked like a stranger. 

Her feet carried her forward of their own accord, leaving a trail of water droplets across the tile floor. Her fingers reached for his shoulder before she could stop them. She was a hair’s breadth away from touching him before she hesitated.

Last time she’d reached for him, she’d seen more than she planned to. And none of it had come true. 

Before she could move, he shifted his head, as if he felt her presence and was turning to meet it. His eyes darkened with shock at the sight of her. Shock--and something else. Something heady and powerful that prompted an answering  _ swoop  _ of her stomach to her toes. But he didn’t turn.

So she held her breath and touched him.

No sooner had her fingers hit the fabric than their connection surged. There was no other way to describe the rush of sensations bombarding her all at once. They robbed her of breath, heightened her senses, until the smell of him filled her nostrils: something woodsy and crisp, like a forest of brilliant green. The forest where they’d first met. 

Captivated, Rey began to walk around and face him, letting her hand trail over his shoulder and down his chest. Her fingertips barely caressed the velvet, but they felt as if they were on fire. 

When she stood facing him, hand on his chest as it rose and fell, something else swelled between them. It was tantalizing and just out of reach, but she could almost taste it on her tongue. She tried to call it into sharper focus. A voice in the back of her head said,  _ Are you sure?  _

She hesitated.

Then she looked up into his eyes. 

They were so dark as to be almost black. His expression was blank, but something in the fierceness of his gaze, in the way she could hear him breathing, told her that he felt the rush of sensation, too. As if they would start floating toward the ceiling. As if they were . . .  _ powerful.  _

Then his eyes began to trail down the length of her, and her whole body flared with heat. Her nipples peaked against the rough fabric of the towel. Her legs, exposed and dripping, tingled as he drank them in. She pressed her thighs together and prayed he didn’t notice. 

When his eyes jumped back to hers, they were, if possible, blacker than before. He swallowed and said thickly, “Going somewhere?”

“I’m sorry?”

He took his time looking her up and down again. “You’re getting ready.”

“I’m getting  _ clean.  _ Believe it or not, I do that from time to time.” She took her hand away, clutching the towel closer, and some of the tension between them dissipated. Rey felt bereft.

“Perhaps you’re attending a party,” he said. 

Rey sucked in a breath that tasted of him. “I don’t have anything to wear,” she said, trying to keep her voice flippant. Her turn to scan him slowly--see how  _ he  _ liked it. “Not like you.”

Were the tops of his ears turning red?

“You look . . .” She couldn’t find the words. Handsome? That was too plain. Poe was handsome. Ben was . . . 

“Ridiculous,” he said, full of bitterness. “I know.”

“No, that’s not what I--”

“Rey? Is everything all right in there?” Poe’s voice filtered through her bedroom door, making her jump. 

“Don’t come in!” she called, clutching her towel even closer. 

Ben glared in the direction she was looking--toward the door, though he couldn’t know that--and shifted so that he blocked her path, putting his hands on his waist. The motion made his cloak flare out, and she noticed the lining for the first time. 

It was red. Blood red. 

“I just heard something . . .” said Poe, sounding a bit confused. 

“It’s fine,” said Rey. “I . . . slipped in the refresher.”

Silence. Ben was scowling at her. She didn’t know why. 

“All right,” said Poe eventually. “As long as you’re okay . . .” She heard his footsteps fading off along the hallway.

“Don’t they learn how to knock in the Resistance?” Ben snarled. 

“You look like a leader,” said Rey, finally finding the words to describe him. “Like a prince.” As soon as she said it, she knew it was true. His hair tumbled around his head like a dark crown. His cloak’s long path to the ground added height to his already imposing frame. And the silver embroidery along its edges made him look like royalty. 

He blinked, his scowl transforming into something more like shock. His gaze drifted down again, and this time, his ears were  _ definitely  _ red. “And you,” he said in a low voice. “You look . . .” His gloved hand reached out toward her.

Rey held her breath. Her body waited frozen for the brush of those fingers against her bare shoulder. She could feel the anticipation between her legs, climbing her throat. She wanted to laugh suddenly for no reason. 

Then his hand fell away. 

“I have to go,” he said in clipped tones. There was something in his eyes, something hungry, and she felt as if he would say more. 

But he was gone. 

She let out her breath. She felt drained somehow, weak and empty. She shuffled over to the bed and fell back upon it, heedless of the damp patch her head would leave on the pillow. That had just happened. 

_ And now I’ll never know what he was going to say.  _

#

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Sun-lizard](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sun-lizard)  
> [Kresch's namesake](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Kresch)  
> [Shuura](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Shuura)  
> [Handmaiden's robe](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Naboo_Royal_Handmaidens) \- I don't know about you guys but I am IN LOVE with this costume. Hence its starring role ;)  
> [Electro-plasma](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Plasma%22) \- think Praetorian guard weaponry  
>  Ailana is an OC, but she's supposed to be the daughter of [Pooja Naberrie](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Pooja_Naberrie) and she's named after [Queen Apailana](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Apailana)
> 
> This chapter was supposed to have a lot more action, but then important quiet moments decided to happen, so here we are! Next chapter, the party commences, sh*t goes down, and Ben has to exist in public in a blue cloak with silver embroidery for at least three hours. My heart... 
> 
> THANK YOU for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> Also, if you feel like it, come say hi to me on [tumblr!](http://roamingbadger.tumblr.com/)


	5. A Stay-on-the-Ship Operation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, my dears!
> 
> Please say hi to me on [tumblr](http://roamingbadger.tumblr.com/) if you feel like it. I'd love to chat with you all.
> 
> I hope you like this chapter. <3

Rey waited until the holo from Ailana came through before putting her plan in motion. 

“Thank goodness for that,” Leia said as the handmaiden clicked off to rejoin her queen. “Finn’s off. Now we can focus on getting ourselves out of here.”

“The official celebration begins in three hours,” said Poe. “I say we wait a bit longer, until it’s dark, and then we move.”

“Good plan. Perhaps we can dress like party guests. What do we have in terms of disguises? Ryoo?”

“I have some dresses you can borrow.” Ryoo turned her sharp gaze on Poe. “This one might be harder.”

“Can you cobble something together?”

“Perhaps.” Ryoo turned from the living room toward the hallway leading to the back of the house. When Poe didn’t follow, she said, “Well? Come on.”

“Oh. Right.” He looked a bit red. Rey forced herself not to laugh.

“Good luck,” she said. His only response was an eyeroll.

“And what about you?” Leia asked, already picking up her holopad to check her latest reports. “Can you dig something up from your room?”

“I think I can figure something out.” Leia didn’t know how true that was. Rey hesitated in the doorway, knowing she should be grateful for the opportunity and leave. But just in case things went south . . . “Thanks, Leia. For giving us a chance here.”

Leia looked up from the holopad. Her eyes were sharp-- _ too  _ sharp--as she narrowed her gaze on Rey’s face. “There’s no need to thank me,” she said after a while. “It’s my job.”

“Of course.”

“Let’s make it out of here. Deal?”

Rey tried her best to sound innocent as she replied, “Deal.” 

But she felt Leia’s gaze on her back as she turned and climbed the stairs.

A few minutes later, she stood by the doors to her balcony, taking a quick inventory. Handmaiden’s robes--check. They were soft, and when she pulled up the hood, she caught a scent like her citrus soap. Wristband commlink from Finn--check. It fit nicely under her long, red sleeve. Bag complete with Jedi texts and the early makings of a lightsaber--check. She couldn’t bring herself to leave it behind. 

For her final touch, she slid the two cleaned blades that had once been Azura’s into her tight-fitting wrist cuffs. They were small enough to lie against her skin, unobtrusive.  _ Justice,  _ she thought as they fit into place. 

Before leaving, Rey glanced back over her shoulder at the pale yellow bedroom one last time. It had been so peaceful here, even with the Force connections and the strange dress-memories and sleeping on the floor. “Thank you,” she whispered to it, because that felt right.

Then she opened the glass doors and crept out. 

Her balcony was only one floor up from the ground. A quick check of the gardens behind the house revealed that she was alone, save for the lengthening afternoon shadows. Hoisting her bag higher, Rey flung one leg, then the other over the rails. Pulling the Force to her, she held her breath and jumped. 

She landed softly in the grass. Ahead of her, a small hedge blocked her view into the house--barely. There was a window at the back of the hallway that might give her away. She slunk, crouching, over to the edge of the house, flattening herself against the wall. Ahead of her, beyond the trees, she could see the quiet street. And far at the end of that, she could see the towering green domes of Theed Royal Palace. 

She straightened her robes, glancing in both directions.  _ I can do this.  _

As she pushed off from the house, she kept her eyes trained for any sign of movement, any shout from behind her, but nothing came. Nothing, save for a bit of rustling in the bushes on the far side of the house, closer to the front door. She glanced over her shoulder and paused. A few moments of silence passed. Nothing.

She went on her way.

#

Kylo stood with his hands clasped loosely before him, working to keep a blank expression. Years of training certainly helped, but the struggle grew harder with each renewed memory of Rey from a few hours earlier.

Hair sticking to freckled shoulders. Droplets of water sliding down between her breasts. The fresh, clean scent of her. Even the scar on her right shoulder was perfection itself, a mirror to the one she had given him. If he’d had more time, he would have studied it with his eyes first, then his fingers, then his lips. And then he would have moved on to the rest of her: each freckle, each mole, each lingering bruise. A true study would have taken him days, and he wouldn’t have minded.

“After the party, if the Supreme Leader wishes it?”

Kylo blinked, focusing on the woman who had just spoken. Queen Jameelah was so petite that she appeared to be drowning in the heavy golden headdress that served as her crown. Beneath her painted face--white, with red dots on her cheeks and a line down her lips--it was impossible to tell her exact age, but Kylo guessed that she was in her late teens. Over her shoulders, two handmaidens in fire-bright robes watched him like hunters scenting prey.

“That won’t be necessary,” said Hux quickly from Kylo’s right. 

“Oh,” said the queen, sounding uncertain. “I had thought . . . since it was your lordship’s first visit to the planet . . .”

Kylo had no idea what they were discussing, but anything that sent Hux into a paroxysm was bound to be entertaining, at least. And he needed a distraction. “Whatever you have planned is fine, your majesty.”

“Wonderful,” said Jameelah with a smile. Hux worked his jaw angrily. On Hux’s other side, Zagan stifled a smug look.

Right at that moment, Chancellor Jeth came around the corner, accompanied by a third handmaiden. The Chancellor wore her usual gold-white sunshield over the top half of her face, but her pale hair had been transformed into an elaborate updo tied with gold wire. Kylo practically felt the need for a sunshield himself at the sight of her long, blinding white gown. Even the gentle light of the early afternoon rays, filtered down through the towering marble of the Theed Royal Palace, was enough to illuminate her like a star. 

“Supreme Leader,” she said, giving Kylo a deep nod. She turned toward the queen. “Your Majesty.” 

“Chancellor.” Queen Jameelah glanced at her handmaiden. “I trust Ailana has been useful to you?”

“Very, your majesty. I thank you.” 

The handmaiden joined her companions, looking Kylo and his entourage up and down as she went. If she found anything amiss in the two Knights of Ren, Kylo’s lightsaber at his waist, and Hux and his handful of stormtroopers, her face didn’t show it. Kylo heard in the security briefing before planetfall that the queen’s handmaidens were more than they appeared. Seeing them now in their demure robes made that hard to believe. 

“Supreme Leader.” Chancellor Jeth began to walk down the long palace hallway, indicating for Kylo to join her. He matched her steady pace. “I was wondering if you would join me in a toast before the feast begins.”

“That depends,” he said. “Am I allowed to pour my own glass?”

She laughed. “I’m hurt, my lord. The treaty is signed. What reason would I have to kill you now?”

“Good question,” he said, and she merely smiled.

Hux’s “ahem” behind him caused Kylo to step back beside his general. “We could have crushed her,” Hux whispered. “ _ And _ the measly leavings of the Republic. Perhaps you should remind her of that.”

“Somehow I doubt she needs reminding,” said Kylo, letting menace slip into his voice. It irked him that his general was bold enough to give advice within the Chancellor’s hearing. Hux’s lips thinned as he stepped back in line with his stormtroopers. Yes, he was angry, and challenging Kylo with an audience was his favorite way of showing it.

Kylo mentally added it to the long list of things to watch for tonight. 

No sooner had the thought crossed his mind then he checked the comm link on his wrist. No messages waited. Dantalion, Abraxas, and Hela had left hours ago for their raid of the Resistance safehouse. What was going wrong?

“This way, my lord.” The queen led their entourage into the Great Hall, where a long table was laid out beneath towering columns. Those few dignitaries from the Republic who had survived the destruction of the Hosnian system were scattered down one side. Space was left on the other for Kylo and his companions. At the end of the hall, windows overlooking Theed showed hours to go before nightfall. 

Kylo suppressed a sigh as he took his seat. It was going to be a long afternoon. 

By the time the last round of food--an elaborate dessert he’d hardly touched--was taken away, he’d still had no word from Dantalion and the others. In a few minutes he’d be asked to enter the ballroom with Chancellor Jeth on his arm to start the festivities.

Something was definitely wrong.

As the queen stood and everyone followed, Kylo took the opportunity to signal Zagan over to his side. 

“My lord. I was just preparing myself to ask for a dance with Hux. Do you think he’ll say yes?”

Kylo ignored this. “Have you heard anything from Dantalion or Abraxas?”

“No, my lord.” Confusion wrinkled Zagan’s brow above his eyepatch. “Should I have?”

“Keep an ear out. If they reach you on comms, patch it through to me.” 

“It will be done.” Zagan glanced around them and lowered his voice. “Is there an operation I’m unaware of, my lord?”

“Your job is the same as it was this morning. I want you on high alert.”

“Yes, my lord.” But Zagan didn’t look convinced. Kylo saw him drift over to Nebarius and whisper something to his fellow knight, who looked surprised.  _ Blast it.  _

It was difficult to keep secrets from them. Kylo would have to stop doing it after tonight. And after tonight, there would be no need. Azura would be back in hand. Rey would be safely caught. 

_ The Resistance will be over.  _

Reassured by the thought, Kylo went to accompany Chancellor Jeth into the ballroom.

An hour into the festivities and Kylo was reminded why he hated bureaucratic events as a child. First, everyone always tried to guilt him into dancing, refusing to take “no” for an answer. Then, he was forced to nod and shake hands with everyone who was anyone, including a few of the wealthier citizens of Naboo. He stopped paying attention after a while, leaving that particular task for Hux to complete. By the look on Hux’s face--an expression like he’d smelled bantha dung--Hux was enjoying it about as much as Kylo did.

The biggest inconvenience had occurred when Kylo first entered the ballroom. Royal guards tried to confiscate his lightsaber. “No weapons allowed,” their captain said, his voice stony. 

“This is no normal weapon,” said Kylo. 

“Even the handmaidens are going without weapons, my lord,” said Hux from over Kylo’s shoulder. “I’d advise that you accede, if only for--”

“This is not up for debate. The lightsaber stays with me,” Kylo said. He turned to the captain. “Anyone who disagrees may try to take it from me.”

The captain swallowed, clearly uncomfortable. He glanced to his queen for support. She opened her mouth, but before she could speak, Chancellor Jeth overruled them all. 

“I have heard that it’s a great honor to entrust a lightsaber to another’s care,” she said. To Kylo’s surprise, she reached up and lifted her sunshield, revealing her pale white eyes for the first time. They stared both at him and  _ through  _ him. “An honor that must be earned. Otherwise, the lightsaber will not obey.”

Kylo said nothing. The Chancellor’s stare unnerved him. He considered leaving behind the blade just to spite her, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. What was she thinking, behind those clear white eyes?

“We will not take that risk,” said the queen decisively. “Captain Tycho, let him pass.”

Now, Kylo fingered the saber at his waist, feeling the pulse of its kyber crystal inside like a second heartbeat. Remembering the Chancellor’s words, he could not help but recall the image of Rey summoning his saber across Snoke’s throne room. When she ignited it and it answered her call, and she stood there like an avenging angel--

All of a sudden, a feeling intruded on Kylo’s memory. Faint, but unmistakable nonetheless. He stood, frozen in shock, as he prodded it with his mind. 

A Force sensitive was here. In this very palace. Someone powerful. 

_ Rey.  _

#

Rey shifted her position carefully, trying to rest her aching muscles. She’d been crouched in the thick branches of a decorative tree in the Queen’s Garden for hours, waiting for the sun to set. Now that it had, the garden was alight with lanterns and the occasional couple escaping from the crush of the party. 

And still no sign of Azura. 

Rey hesitated, longing to reach out with the Force. It would make her task much easier. After her circuit of the palace that afternoon, it was clear that the garden was the easiest and most obvious place to sneak inside. For that reason, a line of Royal Guards stood outside the palace doors, six of them. Just enough to be intimidating, but not enough to dissuade someone like Azura. She could take them all out in minutes.

If only she would show up. 

Surely a quick check with the Force wouldn’t be noticeable, Rey thought. After all, the palace was packed with people by now. Even if Ben  _ were  _ on high alert--which, after their recent conversation, she knew he would be--he couldn’t be thinking of her  _ at all times.  _ Besides, her feet were starting to go numb. 

She closed her eyes. Her Force presence was pulled closed to her, clutched to her chest. A quick check, that was all, she thought. 

She imagined herself peeling back a curtain at a window, letting just a sliver of light in. 

The contact was instant and overwhelming.  _ Ben.  _ She felt him like a black hole, pulling her closer, sucking her in. Panic closed her throat, and she slammed the curtain shut. Then she imagined building a wall behind it, shutting up the window. Blocking him out. 

But too late. She’d felt it, that flare of recognition between them.  _ He knows.  _

It took a few deep breaths for her to calm down. She had to move. He’d have people scanning for her--every door, window, nook, and cranny of the palace was about to get scoured. It wasn’t until she was halfway down the tree that she remembered feeling something--someone--else. Someone far overshadowed by his presence. 

Azura.

And she was walking right up to the front door. 

#

Kylo had Nebarius and Zagan to him with a simple flick of his fingers. 

“What is it, my lord?”

“Get a battalion of stormtroopers each. I want you searching all entrances and exits to the palace. Make sure weapons are on stun.”

“Is it Azura?” asked Zagan. 

“No. Someone . . . else. The Resistance.”

“Here?” Nebarius’s fair eyebrows climbed up his forehead. “Impossible.”

“Just  _ do it. _ ” 

They both startled at Kylo’s growl before bowing and scattering. At least they still knew to move quickly when they heard that tone, Kylo thought. Then he turned to find the Chancellor. 

“I have to go,” he said. “Please excuse me.”

“But, Supreme Leader . . .” The Chancellor looked genuinely surprised, as did Hux beside her. “You can’t leave. The celebration has barely begun.”

“Something has come up. Hux will stand in as representative of the First Order.”

“If this is a matter of security, I think we should all--”

“My lord.” The crackling came from Kylo’s comm link. He turned away from the Chancellor and brought it to his lips. 

“Yes, Dantalion?”

“. . . calling you . . . on our way.”

“Repeat. There’s some interference on the channel.”

“I thought so,” said Dantalion, a bit clearer this time. “I’ve been trying to reach you for over an hour.”

“And?”

“Mission successful, my lord. We have--”

The rest was jumbled and incoherent. “Repeat,” Kylo growled. 

But the comm link buzzed and went dark. 

“What is going on?” asked Hux, his chest swelling with righteous indignation. 

Kylo didn’t even grace this with a response. He simply turned and marched through the densely packed crowd, scanning every face he passed for a familiar pair of brown eyes.

#

_ Kriffing hells.  _ Rey watched from the shadows as Azura marched, masked head held high, right up to the front doors of the palace. The Royal Guards stationed there asked her a question, and she presented an actual  _ invitation  _ from somewhere in that form-fitting black leather suit. She hadn’t even bothered to  _ change _ , for kriff’s sake. 

A few more words were exchanged, and Azura patted herself down, shaking her head, clearly denying the presence of weapons. A scanner up ahead would prove that wrong, Rey thought with satisfying smugness. But then the guards waved Azura forward and nothing went off.  _ Blast.  _

As the guards took their positions for the next guest, Rey watched with dawning horror as Azura slipped away into the entrance hall. 

_ No. No, no, no.  _ Rey was climbing the palace steps before she could think twice. She hadn’t come this far, risked this much, for nothing. And if Azura could march right into the palace without a backward glance, so could she. 

Let Ben keep searching his windows and alcoves. She doubted the first place he’d check would be the front door. 

“My lady.” The guards exchanged startled glances. “Is everything all right?”

“I’m returning from an errand for her majesty,” said Rey as she approached them. “I’m already late.”

Their concerned expressions didn’t ease up. “She didn’t warn us you’d be coming.”

“She expected me hours ago,” said Rey, using the tone of a put-upon servant. Perhaps they could relate. 

On the contrary, they looked closer. One of them, the right one with the dark hair to match his skin, said, “Which one are you?”

“You don’t recognize me?” Rey said, feigning offense. Her heart raced. What could she do? Make up a name? But surely they would know. Use Ailana’s? But what if she’d just come back through this entrance only a couple of hours before? 

Her fingers itched to use the Force. A couple of simple mind tricks and these two would be out of her way entirely. But she couldn’t risk it. Ben would find her in seconds if she let her shield down for too long. 

“We served the queen together only yesterday,” she said instead, praying her instincts were correct. 

He stammered. “Oh. Of course, Lady Sarine. It’s difficult to tell you all apart in those robes.”

“Lady Sarine?” The second guard sounded surprised. “From the Lake Country?”

“The same,” said Rey.

“My daughter went to school with you for a while. Nepta.”

“I remember her. A very nice girl. Say hello from me,” said Rey, trying not to sound breathless as her lungs constricted.  _ Let me through, let me through.  _ Beyond the open doors, she could see the dark blur that was Azura disappearing at the end of the hall. 

“I will,” the second guard said, smiling. “Now hurry along, before we make you any later.”

Rey let out her breath in relief. “Thank you.” She was still smiling when she went through the weapons scanners and a short alarm went off. 

_ Kriff.  _

“Right. Sorry, milady, but even handmaidens must go weaponless tonight.” The dark-skinned guard held our a hand. “They’ll be returned to you.”

“Of course,” she said through gritted teeth. She dug under her wrists for the two small knives, her heart breaking a little as she passed them across to him. So much for justice. 

“Anything in the bag?” he said, pointing at the leather strap on her shoulder. 

“No.”  _ Just a weapon that doesn’t work _ , she thought, and wondered what she would do if they tried to take her lightsaber away. 

Better not to think about that. 

“Right,” he said. “Queen’s errand.” He winked. “Carry on, then.”

She turned and held her breath as she passed beneath the scanners once again. 

No alarm. 

She let out a sigh. “Thank you,” she called over her shoulder, and waited for the guards to turn back around before running off down the hall. 

It wasn’t long before she caught up. Fortunately for Rey, the palace was a long maze of corridors, all decorated with soft lighting in honor of the celebration. Azura hadn’t reached the ballroom yet. 

Rey was about to call out to her when a battalion of stormtroopers came around the corner, a black-clad stranger at their head. Azura slipped into an alcove, hiding in the dark, while Rey slowed to a walk and lowered her gaze. The battalion marched right past her, and past Azura as well.  _ Interesting.  _

Rey caught up to Azura’s alcove just as the stormtroopers disappeared around the corner. Before Azura could slip back into view, Rey froze in her tracks. 

She had no weapons. Not even her staff. Could she really do this?

There wasn’t time to think about it. Azura stepped out of the alcove and continued walking down the hall toward the ballroom. A guest could come into view at any moment. Ben was searching for Rey.  _ The time is now.  _

“Azura.”

She froze before turning slowly to face Rey. “Handmaiden.”

“Think again.” Rey stepped closer, throwing back her hood. The movement felt powerful, defiant, and Rey let the thrill of adrenaline fill her veins. Her only disappointment was that Azura’s mask revealed none of her emotions at seeing Rey again. Disappointment? Fear? Rey had no way of knowing. 

She’d just have to imagine Azura widening her eyes. 

“Jedi scum.” Azura crouched into a fighting stance, raising her fists. “I thought I killed you.”

“Is that why you ran away and hid like a frightened child?”

“Bitch,” Azura spat, leaping forward. 

Rey was ready for her this time. In fact, she enjoyed seeing Azura leap to her goading like Kresch swiping for another berry. She stepped aside almost effortlessly to dodge Azura’s fist. The Knight growled and leapt again. 

Rey grabbed her fist in the air and twisted. Azura let out a gasp of pain. Before she could move, Rey kicked her squarely in the chest. She staggered backward. 

_ Just like defending myself on Jakku _ , Rey thought.  _ No staff required.  _

Azura recovered quickly, though she was nursing her right arm. She feinted another punched at Rey’s solar plexus before spinning a leg to catch Rey’s ankles. Rey jumped the leg and shoved forward, throwing Azura to the ground. Azura somersaulted smoothly back up to standing, catching Rey off guard with a quick jab. Rey dodged, but not fast enough. It caught her squarely in the right eye. 

“Ha.” Azura sounded like she was smiling. “I don’t even need a blade. I’ll kill you with my bare hands.”

Rey blinked away a wash of pain and blurred vision.  _ With my bare hands.  _ The image reminded her of something. What was it? 

Ben, his bloody hands cupping her cheeks.

Ben, meeting her hand in the hut on Ahch-To. 

Ben on Takodana, standing so close she could feel his heat.

The solution came to her along with the memory. It was so simple, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t planned it from the beginning. Realizing what she had to do, she let her movements become clumsy, missing a hit here, taking a punch to the side there. Her ribs would be bruised, but it didn’t matter. Azura was growing overconfident, taking swings she couldn’t defend. She was falling for it. 

At the right moment, Rey allowed herself to stumble. A second later, Azura was on top of her, pinning her to the ground. Her gloved hands gripped Rey’s throat. “Look at me, Jedi,” she growled through her mask. “I want to see the life leave your eyes.”

Rey looked at her. She couldn’t see through the mask. She didn’t need to. Instead, she lifted her hands to Azura’s gloved ones, feeling their strength as they closed around her throat. 

For an instant, Rey wondered if she’d made the right choice. Her vision tunnelled, darkening. She couldn’t breathe.

And then she flung out her power with the Force. 

Azura’s mind was relatively easy to slip into, compared to what Rey had been expecting. Chaotic images filed past, one after another: a redheaded girl beside a freshly-dug grave, her eyes dry; that same girl, older now, lifting a wobbly rock with the Force; later, as a young woman, staring at the blood on her palms. Swearing an oath to her leader, Kylo Ren. 

Kylo, as Azura knew him, filled her memories. The look on his face when he meditated. The way he tossed his hair out of his eyes during sparring. Even the sound of his voice when he said, “The Jedi girl. Rey.”

Rey gasped. Or was that Azura? Their minds were too deeply tangled now for Rey to tell.  _ Focus,  _ she told herself. This was not what she came here to do. 

A moment later, she found it, the tiny, flickering core of Azura’s existence. She could snuff it out entirely, if she wanted to. For an instant, based on what she had just seen, Rey was tempted. 

But she resisted. 

Instead, she dampened the candle for now.  _ Let her wake in time.  _

Azura fell hard upon her, unmoving, and Rey sucked in a shuddering breath.

#

The second flare of Rey’s presence stopped Kylo in his tracks. If before she had let slip a tiny ray of light, this was a conflagration visible from the stars.

He shoved guests out of the way, heedless of their cries and protests as he hurried across the ballroom. She was so close. Right outside. He could sense it, taste it, practically  _ see  _ her in his mind’s eye. After all, no one felt like that in the Force. Only she could burn that bright. 

When he reached the hallway, the light went out.

“No,” he said out loud. “No, no--” He pressed into the darkness of the hallway, blinking so his eyes would adjust to the sudden change. Behind him, the murmurs of music and laughter faded, until there was only silence. 

He closed his eyes and reached out with his mind. 

Nothing. 

Clenching his fists, he continued down the hall and the around the corner. He was partway to the palace front doors when he saw her. 

She was looking over her shoulder at him. Her  _ bare _ shoulder, freckles bathed in lanternlight. Her hair was dressed in rich Naboo style, tied with purple ribbons, curls of it trailing across her skin. Her dress plunged down to her lower back, an inviting canvas that his fingers itched to draw upon. And then she turned, seeing him, and something lit up her eyes. Something fierce and tender all at once.

He blinked, stunned by the image, and froze in his tracks. When he opened his eyes, she was gone. 

It was only a handmaiden, pulling her hood down over her eyes. 

“My lord.” Her voice was hoarse, almost a whisper. 

From far away, she was hard to distinguish from the others. He stepped closer. He was still staggering under the weight of the vision, the look in Rey’s eyes. “What are you doing out here?” he heard himself ask. 

She stiffened. Her face dipped lower. He could only see the barest slice of her chin. A cool breeze from the open window nearby ruffled her hood, and she tugged it low. She opened her mouth to speak--

“My lord!”

Kylo jerked his gaze up. Over the handmaiden's shoulder, Dantalion and Abraxas stood in the open palace doors. The night sky bloomed behind them, darkening from purple to black. And between them, her head held high despite the restraints on her wrists, stood General Leia Organa. 

His mother. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Theed Royal Palace](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Theed_Royal_Palace)
> 
> [Concordance of Fealty](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Concordance_of_Fealty) aka Why I Cry Watching TFA + TLJ, Reason #465
> 
> [Naboo Lake Country](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lake_Country)
> 
> Sorry for the cliffhanger, y'all... I couldn't resist. Please leave a comment to let me know what you think!


	6. Good Old-Fashioned Family Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies! Thank you **Misschiff0** for your kind words, and thanks to all of you who are still with me. I finished this chapter a day early, so I thought, why wait?
> 
> I hope you enjoy! :)

Rey’s heart pounded in her ears.  _ Leia. _

How could everything have gone so wrong so quickly? Careful not to disturb the hood of her handmaiden disguise, Rey risked a glance at Ben. He stood stock-still, his face white beneath his scar, his hands clenched at his sides. Was that fear in his eyes? Pain? As usual, his expression was hard to read. Rey had to suppress a sudden, fierce urge to reach out to him. 

What was she thinking? He was the leader of her enemy. And they had just captured General Leia Organa.

“Take her to my shuttle,” Ben commanded in a harsh voice. 

“But, my lord--” 

“Make sure Hela stays with her. And a battalion of stormtroopers.”

“Of course, your--my lord.” The Knight of Ren who flanked Leia’s side stumbled over his words, as if he’d been about to say something else. 

_ Your highness,  _ Rey realized. Why did she know that? She felt disoriented, as if she’d stepped into a dream. 

Just then, the ballroom doors at the other end of the hallway burst open, and guests and stormtroopers alike poured out. Rey used the opportunity to shrink even closer to the open window where she’d thrown Azura moments before Ben had appeared. If she could just hold position until Leia passed her, perhaps she could get the general out the window before Rey herself was captured. Inevitably, she would be. 

So be it.

Rey flicked on the commlink at her wrist. If Finn could hear what was going on, he would at least know to come back and get Leia. Poe was nowhere to be seen, which could only mean he might have escaped. 

Anything else was unthinkable. 

“Supreme Leader,” said a woman dressed all in white with hands made of metal. Her presence was powerful, commanding. “What is going on?”

“The traitor Leia Organa, leader of the treasonous Resistance, has been apprehended.” Ben’s voice betrayed no emotion. A gasp went through the crowd of guests, and a low murmuring began.

“Here?” General Hux stepped forward, his face a sneer. “This is an outrage. Our security has been compromised. Chancellor, would you care to explain?”

“What are you implying, General?” asked the woman in white. Chancellor Yura Jeth, Rey realized. The new leader of the Republic--what was left of it, anyway. Her pale eyes blazed in Hux’s direction. 

“It seems convenient that the Resistance leader should appear at our little celebration, don’t you think?” Hux snarled back. “Almost as if she were invited.”

“Enough.” The Queen of Naboo stepped forward, her small form belying her strong voice. “If this is indeed Leia Organa of the Resistance, she must be contained until we can decide on further action. Captain Tycho.” A man in uniform stepped forward. “Take her to my quarters with a troop of your men.”

“I think not, your majesty,” said Hux. “This is a prisoner of the First Order. We will see to her containment, without any more  _ help  _ from the Republic.”

“I think you’ll find yourself in violation of your new treaty if you do,” said the queen. 

“Blast the treaty,” Hux began. “We will--”

“I decide what we will do,” said Ben, cutting off Hux with a dark look. His eyes were dark and furious, and Rey realized that despite his outward control, he teetered on the edge of losing his grip. “Hela, join the Captain’s escort and remain with the prisoner. Dantalion . . .”

“Yes, my lord?”

“Search the premises.” Ben’s jaw tightened. “There may be more of them out there.”

“Of course, my lord.”

“I suggest we reconvene in the Throne Room to discuss our next steps,” said the queen, unruffled. “Let the guests return to the festivities.”

People behind her exchanged surprised looks, but at the indication of the Royal Guards, began filtering back into the ballroom. A female Knight dressed like Azura but wearing a different mask stepped up to hold Leia in her restraints. With Captain Tycho on Leia’s other side, they began to move down the hall toward Rey and Ben.

This was Rey’s chance. She clenched her hands into fists. A Knight of Ren and a Captain in the Royal Naboo Security Forces. 

No problem. 

Ben turned on his heels and marched away after the queen and the Chancellor, as if he could not bear to stand and watch his mother pass him by. Rey felt a twinge of sorrow, but suppressed it. She’d have more chances of succeeding if he weren’t here. 

Just then, Leia glanced from her son’s retreating back. Her eyes met Rey’s--her eyes so much like Ben’s--and the pain in them was like a knife to the chest. But her lips were flat, the look of a General who had been through much worse and persisted. Her head was still high. She very carefully shook her head. 

Shock froze Rey where she stood. She widened her eyes, as if to say,  _ I have to.  _

Leia’s eyes widened in return, conveying a very obvious  _ Don’t. You. Dare.  _

And so Rey found herself holding her breath, squeezing her nails into her palms, as General Leia Organa was taken prisoner. 

#

As if he were on autopilot, Kylo followed the queen and the Chancellor into the Throne Room. At the last second, he turned to General Hux and said, “Go to the hangar bay. Ready my ship.”

“Don’t you think, as the leader of your army, I should be in this discussion?” Hux said through gritted teeth. 

“No,” said Kylo, and punched the door closed. 

The shock on Hux’s face before the panel slipped shut was enough to give Kylo a small sense of satisfaction. But beyond that, he felt numb. 

He had seen her. Leia Organa. 

He shoved the thought brutally aside. 

Instead, he found himself remembering the sensation of Rey’s power, bright like a double sunset.  _ She’s close.  _ He checked the commlink at his wrink. No messages from Dantalion. 

“She must be given a fair trial,” said Chancellor Jeth. She was already seated at the right hand of the Queen’s throne. A few handmaidens had filtered in with them. Kylo shook himself loose of his thoughts and took the seat on the left. 

“In what courts, Chancellor?” he asked. 

Chancellor Jeth’s lips thinned. “Funny you should ask. Since you  _ destroyed  _ the ones we had on the Hosnian system--”

“We have a well established system of high courts on Naboo,” the queen interrupted, watching Kylo. “I willingly offer them for this trial.”

“On Leia Organa’s home planet? That doesn’t sound very fair to me.”

“If you recall, her home planet was  _ also  _ destroyed, Supreme Leader.” The Chancellor narrowed her pale eyes. “By her own father. Quite an interesting family dynamic, don’t you think?”

Kylo felt the Force moving around him. How he longed to squeeze it until it stopped the Chancellor’s breath. But he resisted the urge. Starting an intergalactic war was not his area of interest. “I have another idea,” he heard himself say. 

“Let me guess,” said the Chancellor drily. “It involves the trial being handled entirely by the First Order.”

“Chancellor . . .” The queen’s white-painted brow knitted. 

“On the contrary,” said Kylo. “I will leave the trial to the Republic. You may choose the location, the court, the jury. However, I ask that you delay for at least a few months.”

Chancellor Jeth’s brows rose. 

“During that time,” said Kylo, “she will be the responsibility of the First Order.”

Silence. 

“If you think that you can abuse the intergalactic laws of organic rights--” the Chancellor began.

“No harm will come to her.”

“Then why?”

But the young queen’s brow cleared before Kylo could answer. “You want to use her as bait,” she said. 

He said nothing. 

The Chancellor sat back in her seat, steepling her fingers. “I see. It’s an interesting thought.”

“I take it that means you agree, Chancellor?”

Her white eyes made her expression difficult to read. Kylo was as surprised as anyone when she leaned forward and said, “Let us draft up a resolution. You have a deal.”

#

“Rey? Rey, what the  _ kriff  _ is going on?”

“Finn.” Rey breathed out a sigh of relief. “Have you heard from Poe?”

“He’s on the Falcon. He said . . . he said Leia  _ turned herself in? _ ”

_ What?  _ Rey could think about that later. Right now, she had a Knight of Ren slung over her shoulders and a palace to sneak away from. “I’ll explain later,” she said into her comm link, knowing Finn would probably roll his eyes on the other side. “Can you get Poe to land near the palace?”

“The Theed palace? As in, the palace where that giant party with the First Order is happening?”

Azura stirred on Rey’s shoulders.  _ Kriff.  _ “Just do it, Finn!”

“Okay,” came his mumbled reply, but a few seconds later, he returned. “Poe said he can meet you in a courtyard off the west entrance. But it’s gotta be quick.”

“I have no problem with quick,” said Rey, gripping Azura harder. “Quick is good.”

She skirted the Queen’s Garden, checking for the three moons of Naboo in the east before heading off in the opposite direction. A few minutes later, she came upon a quiet courtyard with a peaceful, bubbling fountain, wide enough for the Falcon to land towards the back. Sure enough, Poe came along to disrupt all that lovely silence a few minutes later. The breeze from the Falcon’s engines blasted Rey’s hood off her face. 

“Toss her to me!” Poe called from the lowered entrance platform. The ship was still hovering a few feet above the ground.

“Who’s flying that thing?”

“Escape first,” Poe said. “Explain later.”

Good plan. Rey handed Azura to him rather clumsily--the Knight hit her helmet on a support beam--before pulling herself up onto the platform. The movement made her stomach wound pinch with pain. Her eye and throat were still smarting from her fight with Azura as well. All the same, Rey rolled upright and hurried after Poe up the ramp. It was already closing behind them. 

Poe dumped Azura unceremoniously on the floor. “Please tell me Leia is right behind you.”

Rey glanced over her shoulder. The last sliver of courtyard disappeared behind the closing Falcon door. “I’m sorry, Poe.” She hung her head. “They have her.”

Poe let off a string of curses Rey had never heard before--and after life on Jakku, that was saying something. Then he glared down at Azura. “What a terrible trade,” he said. 

“I know.” Rey nudged the Knight with her toe. “I thought it could turn the tide. I thought . . .”

Poe gave her a look she couldn’t read. “Nevermind. Better put her in some restraints or something. I think she’s waking up.”

Sure enough, Azura’s leg twitched. Rey hurried to pull some restraints down from a hidden compartment and clapped them on the Knight’s wrists. Behind her, Poe called down toward the cockpit, “Get us out of here, bud!”

A familiar swooping beep was the only reply. “Bb-8?” Rey asked. 

“He’s better than you’d expect.” Poe came back to where Azura lay sprawled. “Come on. Let’s move her.”

A few minutes later, Azura was carefully propped upright in the seating alcove of the Falcon’s main area. Rey sat across from her at the Dejarik table, watching as the Knight shifted her head and moaned. Poe was back in the cockpit, probably swearing under his breath as they navigated the First Order security ships orbiting Naboo. 

“Kriffing hells,” said Azura in her growly voice. “What happened?”

“You lost,” said Rey.

The Knight jerked her head up and turned her mask in Rey’s direction. After a stunned silence, she did the last thing Rey expected.

She  _ laughed.  _

“Again, Jedi girl?” she said when she caught her breath. “I should’ve known you’d be a sucker for pain.”

“You’re not exactly in a position to make threats.”

Azura shrugged. “If I’m not making threats to you, Jedi, it means I’m probably dead.”

Rey stood up and crossed the Falcon’s floor until she stood before the seated Azura. “That can be arranged,” she said. 

“You think you can kill me?”

Rey’s fingers itched for her lightsaber. How she suddenly longed to ignite it and hold it at Azura’s throat. “I know I can.”

Azura waited. “No,” she said quietly after a few moments. “You want to. I can sense it. But wanting and doing aren’t the same thing.”

Why did that phrase feel familiar to Rey somehow, as if she’d heard it before? A memory flashed through her mind: Ben, standing at the edge of a room on a starship, overlooking a vast expanse of stars. 

_ How can you even ask that?  _ he said.  _ I want to destroy the Jedi.  _

And Rey answered in a voice that was not her own:  _ Wanting and doing aren’t the same thing. _

She blinked down at Azura as the memory faded. How . . .?

Azura tugged at her hands, trying in vain to free them from their restraints. “Jedi bitch.  _ Stay out of my head. _ ”

Rey took a step back. “I’m sorry. It was an accident.”

“Do all Jedi lie as easily as you do?”

Azura was trying to sound tough, but something in her voice gave away her panic. She was actually scared. Very scared. Why?

The answer was so obvious Rey almost smacked herself in the head. 

_ She’s powerless against my interrogation.  _

Rey held out her hand. Azura froze, staring up from behind her impassive mask. “You  _ will  _ tell me the secrets of the First Order,” Rey said. 

“No. You’ll have to kill me first.” But Azura’s voice was small. She knew. 

One of Rey’s own memories washed over her: Ben, his lips near her ear.  _ You know I can take whatever I want.  _ Even in memory, his voice burred against her skin. She felt a tug of excitement, her pulse picking up. 

A small part of her hesitated at that excitement.  _ It’s not the Jedi way.  _

But she was so close. She could learn something that would cripple the First Order. She could stop Ben.

She could save Leia. 

She closed her eyes and reached into Azura’s mind, so deeply she didn’t even hear the scream.

#

Chancellor Jeth did not even hesitate when it came time to sign the resolution she and Kylo had drafted. After scrawling her name in wide, loopy Aurebesh, she handed the stylus to Kylo with a raised brow. “My lord.”

He wrote “Supreme Leader Ren” in thick block leaders. Somehow it still felt like writing the name of a stranger. 

“Very good,” said the queen, although she did not smile. She turned to Kylo. “I take it you no longer wish to visit your grandmother’s mausoleum, my lord?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I had planned to take you there, but under the circumstances . . .”

Ah, yes. Kylo remembered agreeing to some plan of the queen’s earlier that day. It felt like a lifetime ago. He surreptitiously checked his comm link. 

Still no messages. 

With the resolution signed, Kylo had no excuse to linger on Naboo. But surely no ships had escaped, not with his security forces on high alert.  _ Rey has to be out there somewhere.  _ He could stall a few more hours . . . “Actually, I see no reason why I shouldn’t.”

Shock crossed the queen’s features before she could tamp it down. “Oh. How . . . fortunate.” She stood. “Ailana, bring a candle, please.”

One of the handmaidens in the bright orange robes dropped a quick curtsy and hurried to the edge of the room. Kylo narrowed his eyes, but she was not the one he had seen in the hallway. In fact, none of the handmaidens in the Throne Room seemed quite the same as the one he’d seen earlier. 

The Chancellor interrupted his thoughts. “You surprise me, Supreme Leader.”

“How so?”

“Your grandmother is entombed downstairs. Your mother is imprisoned above. Do you not think you’re visiting the wrong person?”

“You’re forgetting something, Chancellor.”

“And what’s that?”

“My grandmother cannot talk back.”

#

Rey lowered her hand and stepped away from Azura, gasping for breath. Sweat beaded at her temples and above her lip. Her fingers were shaking. 

And she still had nothing useful about the First Order.

Plenty of useless information, yes. For example, she’d learned exactly how it felt to fight with a blade in each palm. She knew that Azura had never taken off her helmet around others since the day she put it on, trapping herself in that black prison. And she knew that Dantalion was the only Knight who got away with calling Ben “your highness.”

Essentially, she knew all the detailed facets of Azura’s life. 

Other than that, nothing. 

“I told you,” said Azura. She was breathless, too. “You’ll have to kill me.”

“I’m starting to think you don’t  _ know  _ anything about the First Order,” said Rey. “Nothing that would help, at least.” 

“Depends on what you want help with,” said Azura defensively. 

“Impersonating you? No . . . thanks . . .” Rey’s voice faded away as her words hit home.

An idea flared to life. 

“Go ahead and try,” said Azura. “You’ll be caught in a second.” But the fear had returned to her mask-modulated voice.

Rey scanned the woman before her. Other than the mask, she was perfectly human. A bit shorter than Rey, a bit wider in the chest, but otherwise, they shared a similar build. Her close-fitting signature leathers covered every inch of her skin, even her fingers. And she never took off her mask in front of others. 

It was impossible to tell who was beneath all those clothes. 

Rey’s plan started to take shape. Get in, get Leia back. It could happen quickly. There would be no need for anyone to know who was amongst them. And if she found out anything extra, well . . . so much the better. 

She would just have to be careful not to use the Force. 

Poe appeared from the cockpit, wiping a hand down his face. “Thank goodness that’s over. Get ready to jump to hyperspace. We’re headed for the rendezvous point--”

“Poe. You have to turn this ship around.”

He froze. “I’m sorry?”

“Get us back to Naboo. I have an idea.”

He pointed. “ _ Back  _ to Naboo? As in back through the First Order security vessels I just escaped after an hour of flying?”

“Yes. Exactly.”

“Rey . . .”

“Listen to me.” Rey crossed to where he stood, pointing at Azura. “I’ve been inside her head. I’ve read her memories. She doesn’t know anything about the First Order, but she knows B--Kylo. The Supreme Leader.” Blast, if only her cheeks wouldn’t turn red.

“I know. She’s one of his pets, or something.”

Azura growled from the bench. 

“She’s a Knight of Ren. They’re his right-hand people. If anyone in the galaxy knows where Leia is, it’ll be them.”

“But Azura wasn’t there when Leia was captured.”

“ _ Exactly. _ ” Rey widened her eyes to convey her meaning. 

Poe scanned her face, confused. “I’m missing something.”

Rey began to pace. “With Azura’s memories in my head, I can impersonate her, infiltrate the First Order, figure out where Leia is, and break her out, all before getting caught.” She stopped and turned to Poe. “It’s our best chance.”

His jaw was hanging open. “I think I heard you wrong. You said you wanted to infiltrate the First Order.”

“Oh, she did,” Azura chimed in. “And she’ll be caught. Immediately. You think Kylo Ren can’t tell the real me?” She tried to sound convincing, Rey noticed, but a bit of anxiety slipped out. 

“She’s scared,” said Rey. “Because she knows I’m right.”

Azura started to protest, but Poe held up a hand to silence her, and somehow, that actually worked. “Hang on. This is exactly what Leia warned me about.”

“What?”

“She told me about this, right before she turned herself in so Ryoo and I could escape. She put me in command of the Resistance. And she said, ‘Whatever you do, don’t let her come after me.’”

“That could’ve been about anyone.”

Poe gave her a look that said,  _ really?  _ “Rey, I know you’ve been restless for a while.” He glanced at Azura before stepping closer, lowering his voice. “And between you and me, I agree. You should be out there fighting.”

“See?” Rey met his eyes. “This is the best way. Leia couldn’t have known--”

“I said,” Poe repeated, his voice firm, “you should be out there fighting.  _ Not  _ trapped in the ranks of the First Order. Or worse.” His voice dropped even further. “If you’re caught, he’ll kill you.”

“That won’t happen. I promise.”

“I’m sorry.” Poe shook his head. “I won’t disobey the last order Leia gave me.”

_ Kriff.  _ Rey saw an apology in his eyes and knew he couldn’t be swayed. 

She glanced to her side. A blaster lay atop the Dejarik table, probably Poe’s, abandoned earlier. She stretched out with her mind. 

“I’m sorry, too,” she said. 

She summoned the blaster to her hand a second later. Poe’s eyes widened as she turned it on him, already flipping it to stun. He opened his mouth to speak as she pulled the trigger. 

He fell to the ground with a crash. 

Rey’s ears were ringing as the blaster clattered to the floor. She knelt, feeling for a pulse. It beat strongly against her fingers. She let out her breath. 

That’s when she heard the sound of Azura laughing. 

Rey picked up the blaster before marching across the room. It didn’t shake at all as she flipped it off stun and pointed it at the Knight, whose laughter slowly died. Rey reached out with her free hand and released the restraints on Azura’s hands. 

“You know, Jedi,” said Azura as they fell away, “I’m almost starting to like you.”

“Shut up and give me your clothes,” said Rey.

#

Queen Jameelah left her candle with Kylo as she retreated toward the mausoleum exit. “We’ll be right outside,” she said quietly. It was both a courtesy and a threat.

Kylo waited until the drag of her skirts faded into silence. Only then, when he was alone, did he allow himself to take in the mausoleum of Padme Amidala. It was a simple space, not very wide. There was just enough room to accommodate the sarcophagus at its center, one built of plain white stone with the stylized symbol of Naboo on top. The most striking piece of adornment was the stained glass window opposite him, depicting Padme as Queen of Naboo. Her face was warm, her smile gentle. She radiated peace.

Kylo crouched and placed his candle at the foot of the sarcophagus. The wax remnants of other candles littered the stone at his feet, along with small tokens of appreciation: withered white lillies, a doll. Clearly the people of Naboo visited this place often. Perhaps she even had relatives here. 

He caught up to the thought a moment later. Of course she had relatives here. He was standing right before her. 

He tried to remember what he’d learned over the years about Padme Amidala of Naboo. She was a civil servant. A peacekeeper. A believer in the goodness of things. 

He didn’t feel much in common with that. 

But he knew also that she was a woman who had loved the most dangerous man in the galaxy: his grandfather, Anakin Skywalker. Darth Vader. A Sith lord. 

The woman in the stained glass window looked about as different as a person could from someone who loved the dark. She radiated light, a soft glow suffusing her painted skin even though night lay beyond the glass. She was smiling.

Kylo could not help thinking of a different woman whose light was almost blinding, both to his inner vision and his outer.  _ Rey.  _

Despite the lack of messages from Dantalion, Kylo had to believe she was still close. Otherwise, all of this--the treaty, the celebration, even sending his Knights to the safehouse--had been for nothing. Closing his eyes, he reached out with the Force, imagining his senses as a circle that slowly expanded to encompass the palace, the gardens, Theed, Naboo. 

Nothing. 

Then, in the back of his mind, something stirred. He felt a presence--strong with the Force--but dimmed somehow, as if veiled. He recoiled, but not quickly enough.

“You thought the dead couldn’t talk back, huh? Rookie mistake.”

Kylo opened his eyes. Before him stood the pale, ghostly figure of Luke Skywalker as Kylo had last seen him. No, not quite the same: this Luke had a longer beard, and he wore the white robes of the Jedi.

Kylo staggered away. 

“Nice to see you, too,” said Luke drily. 

“You’re dead,” said Kylo, his fists clenched. “That stunt on Crait killed you. I felt it.”

“That’s true,” said Luke solemnly. “In a sense. And in another, deeper sense . . .” He held his arms out, palms up. Kylo could see through him to the stone wall of the mausoleum beyond.

“So this is some kind of Jedi trick.”

“I told you I’d see you around, didn’t I? And I don’t lie, Ben.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Luke stepped forward, taking a look around the mausoleum. He paused when he saw the stained glass. “Strange time for a family reunion, don’t you think?” But his voice had gone quiet. 

“I didn’t ask for this.” Kylo pulled his Force sense close to him, hoping it would break whatever contact Luke had established. 

Luke turned a wry gaze on him instead. “Nice try.”

Kylo’s gut twisted. Here was the man he had once admired--the man he had wanted to become. And when everyone else had failed him, even his own parents, Ben had hoped he might find redemption in Luke Skywalker. Luke, who had supposedly found the good in Darth Vader. 

And who couldn’t find the good in Ben. 

Kylo shook his head. Luke even had him thinking of his old name again, his old self. 

That boy was long dead. Kylo Ren had killed him--before Luke could.

“You lost,” Kylo spat. “I have Leia.” 

Luke shook his head. “So you still haven’t learned.”

“You speak to me of learning?  _ You?  _ A Master who failed his only test?”

“I meant my apology,” said Luke. “But I’ll say it again. I’m sorry, Ben. I know I failed you.”

“I told you not to call me by that name.”

“But there’s still hope,” Luke continued, walking toward Kylo as if he hadn’t heard. “It’s not too late for you. She was right: you  _ can  _ be turned.”

Kylo’s heart beat faster. “What are you talking about?”

“Perhaps the ravings of an old man. Perhaps something else.” Luke paused. “That’s up to you.”

“Supreme Leader,” came the crackling voice over the commlink. “I found something.” 

Luke’s smile was kind, familiar: that of an uncle to his favorite nephew. "Good luck, kid."  Then he disappeared. 

“My lord?”

“I’m here, Dantalion." Kylo fought to control his breath. "Where are you?”

“Outside the palace, my lord. I think you’ll want to see this.”

Kylo turned on his heel and marched straight past the queen, through her garden, toward the front steps of the Royal Palace, his blue cloak snapping at his heels.  _ Rey _ , he thought, and his throat felt tight. He turned the corner, heart pounding--

Only to find Dantalion standing on the steps of the palace, a dark-clad figure restrained at his feet. 

Kylo’s ears began to ring. For a second, he almost felt her. But no, his mind was playing tricks. This was someone else.

Azura. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Royal Naboo Security Forces](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Royal_Naboo_Security_Forces)  
> [Padme's mausoleum](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Padm%C3%A9_Amidala%27s_mausoleum) \- excuse me while I cry :'(
> 
> Things are about to get interesting!
> 
> Please stop by on [tumblr](http://roamingbadger.tumblr.com/) and say hello, or drop me a comment below if you like!


	7. In the Heart of the Enemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late, my lovelies! I hope you enjoy <3

From her position in the back corner of Ben’s command shuttle, Rey took stock of her situation. 

First, Ben was angry. She glanced at him more closely. Livid red scar, ruffled hair, tight jaw. Perhaps angry was an understatement.  _ Enraged, violent, deadly . . .  _ those were more accurate assessments of the situation. 

Second, Leia was nowhere to be seen. Rey had scanned every person as they filed into place before takeoff, and she couldn’t even blame Azura’s tight-fitting, heavy mask when the general’s face was nowhere to be found.  _ So much for in and out in one go,  _ Rey thought. 

Third, something was definitely up with Dantalion. 

From the moment she’d allowed him to find her, his hand had been on her arm. Not a painful grip, just a firm one. He dragged her up with it when Ben commanded they take her to the shuttle. He walked beside her, propelling her forward with its steadiness. Now he stood at her side, his fingers tight around her elbow. And in all that time, he hadn’t said a word.

So that was weird.

All in all, Rey was beginning to question whether leaving Azura in that borrowed handmaiden’s outfit and some old restraints was a good idea. BB-8 had assured her that he could navigate through the security vessels the way Poe had shown him, and Poe would wake up with nothing more than a bump on the back of his head, but . . . 

Rey glanced at Ben again. 

If anything, his lips had grown even narrower. “Have you forgotten how to take off?” he snarled to the pilot.

Yeah, risking life and limb to take Azura’s fall had not exactly been the smartest idea. 

The reassuring weight of her bag on her shoulder brought some comfort as the shuttle began to lift off from the hangar bay. Though it pained Rey to part with the Jedi texts and her half-made lightsaber, she had to offer  _ something  _ to buy her way back in. 

_ And besides,  _ a part of her thought,  _ if I trust anyone with this, it would be . . . _

She shook her head to rid it of the thought. Her sworn enemy? The Jedi killer? He was the last person in the universe she should be surrendering to. And yet, a part of her couldn’t imagine the cold steel of her weapon in the hand of any other person. She’d tossed that lightsaber to him once, to save his life, and it had felt so right. Her body thrummed with excitement at the memory. 

“Get us to docking bay five. Land as close to my quarters as possible.” Ben’s voice was a low growl.

Maybe that wasn’t excitement she was feeling after all. Maybe it was fear. 

She was trembling a little as the shuttle settled with a bump onto the docking bay of the  _ Finalizer.  _ As the others began to file out, Dantalion bent forward and whispered in her ear. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I won’t let him kill you.”

How reassuring. 

Ben waited until the last person had disappeared before striding forward. “Follow me.” He didn’t even glance at her, didn’t even hesitate, and his voice rumbled in a threat as he marched past. Dantalion propelled her forward again with that hand on her arm, and it took everything in her not to shake him off and whip out her lightsaber from her bag, just as a test. To see Ben turn and face her. To see some surprise on his face.

She kept her hands lowered and steady. Barely. The cold metal of the restraints pricked her wrists, even through Azura’s (surprisingly comfortable) black leather. Around her, stormtroopers and uniformed officers scattered around the docking bay, but there was no sign of another landing shuttle. No Leia. 

As they walked through narrowed halls, the activity died to a few scattered uniforms here and there. Only the sound of Ben’s heavy footsteps and Rey’s breath filled the recycled air. Dantalion was silent beside her. All too quickly, he pulled her to a stop. 

They stood in a dark hallway before a single black door. Rey’s scavenger senses told her they were on the outer edge of the middle deck, beyond the highest ranking officers’ quarters.

Ben pressed a few buttons on the control panel and the door slid open. Rey held her breath. She was actually here.  _ Ben’s quarters.  _

“Bring her in. Then you may go.”

Dantalion shoved her over the threshold, but to her surprise, he didn’t let go. “I think I should stay, my lord. Just in case.”

“You’re dismissed, Dantalion.”

But the Knight didn’t move.

The door slid closed ominously. The room was dark and spare, almost unlived-in. There was a plain bed with black coverings, a desk, and three other closed doors. A closet and a refresher seemed likely guesses, but as to the third, Rey had no idea. Aside from a datapad left on the desktop, there was no hint of the person who spent time among these walls. 

The sight almost made her . . . sad.

Ben himself stood opposite her before a viewport to the stars, its glittering darkness a black crown around his head. Some dim lights had come on when they entered, and in their softness he no longer looked angry. Just . . . tired. 

That was before he spoke. 

“Are you planning on being an oathbreaker tonight, too, then?” he said to Dantalion.

“Disobeying an order and breaking an oath are different things.”

“Are they?” For the first time, Ben’s eyes met Rey’s through the heavy wall of Azura’s mask. She pulled the Force into her as tightly as possible, a held breath.

A beat passed.

He couldn’t know her identity, could he? She felt herself trembling again and hoped Dantalion and his clinging hand didn’t notice.  _ Ben’s right there. I could reach out and touch him. _

“Why so quiet, Azura? Don’t you want to weigh in? After all, you’re something of an expert in this area.”

Rey let out her breath.  _ Here goes nothing.  _ “I’m sorry, my lord. I was doing you a favor.” Her voice came out mask-modulated and growly. The voice of a stranger. 

“A favor.”

“My lord.” She couldn’t read his face, so she sank to her knees, pulling the posture from Azura’s memories. It radiated submission, obedience. Relief went through Rey as she broke contact from Dantalion’s firm grip.

Then Ben stepped closer. She could see the tips of his boots in the outer edge of her vision. An unexpected thrill shot through her at their respective positions. Suddenly submitting to him like this took on a whole new meaning. Rey’s body heated as she fought to clear the images crowding up her head.

A wrenching sound filled the room, followed by a familiar hissing and spitting. Heat smacked Rey in the face, bringing the blood to her cheeks for an entirely different reason. Ben had ignited his saber.

Rey’s stomach twisted. He wouldn’t kill her. Not like this. She could feel it.

Couldn’t she?

“You swore an oath to obey me, Azura Ren. And when you went against my  _ direct order,  _ you think you did me a  _ favor? _ ” Ben’s voice rose with each word.

Dantalion shifted behind her, but Rey barely noticed. She was entranced by the close-range view of Ben’s saber, it’s dazzling blade so close to her now. He held it loosely at his side, but with a single quick motion he could cleave her in half. 

If she bled on his smooth black flooring,  _ then  _ would he recognize her? 

“The Jedi girl is a threat. I had an opportunity.” Isn’t that what Azura would say? Ever practical, ever self-certain. 

Ben’s saber swung toward her. Rey threw her head back to avoid it, exposing the strip of skin between her mask and her collar. She swallowed, and her throat almost brushed the saber’s tip. It was close enough to burn. 

She stared through her mask at him, and she saw fire reflected in his eyes.

_ He really wants to do this,  _ she thought.  _ He’s raging. He’s . . . terrified.  _

_ Terrified at what Azura almost did.  _

The thought stunned her. She hadn’t known what to make of him before, leaving his bloody handprints on her face as he held her. Holding her close knowing he wanted to destroy her later. Parts of her had imagined motivations for him, but she never wanted to trust them, afraid of being wrong. Now, as she faced his fear at her possible death, she realized . . . 

It was never about killing her himself. 

_ It was about keeping her alive.  _

“What happened to you?” he asked, surprising her.

Still reeling from her thoughts, she said, “What do you mean?”

“Your throat. It’s bruised.”

Rey started to lift her hands, then realized Ben’s saber was in her way and hastily dropped them. “The Jedi girl,” she said. “She choked me.”

Something like pride went through Ben’s eyes. “Good for her,” he said. 

“My lord--” Dantalion began.

“Quiet,” said Ben. To Rey he said, “You saw her?”

She nodded. “Outside the palace.” He had sensed her. She felt sure of it. Playing as close to the truth as possible would make a more convincing lie. 

“And yet you let her escape.” It didn’t come out like an accusation. Rather, it sounded as if he were reassuring himself that Azura had not attempted to kill Rey again. Rey felt as if she were listening to him with new ears.  _ You’re mine _ , he had whispered to her as she lay dying. 

She suddenly longed to ask him what that meant. 

“She got away,” Rey said at last. “But I brought you something of hers.”

He waited, and for a moment, she thought he would lower the saber. Was that anticipation creeping into his eyes? But instead, he flicked his gaze to Dantalion and nodded. The Knight stepped forward and carefully removed the bag from Rey’s shoulder. 

“What is it?” Ben asked him. 

Rey gritted her teeth as Dantalion pawed through the bag. “It’s really hers,” he said, surprised. He pulled out the Jedi texts first. “It’s . . . old books.” 

“Put them on my desk.” Dantalion crossed the room and obeyed, the mostly empty bag now swinging at his side. 

“What else?” asked Ben when that was finished. 

“Something metal.” Dantalion peered inside, then reached in. Rey fought the intensifying urge to leap up and punch him. To her satisfaction, he let out a hiss and pulled his hand from the bag, dropping it. “A weapon,” he said, cradling his hand. 

Ben’s lips parted. He dropped his blade from Rey’s throat and crossed the room, picking up the bag with his free hand. After peering into the bag, he looked at Rey. “Where did you get this?”

“The girl was carrying it on her.”

“Do you know what it is?”

She shrugged. Better to feign ignorance. Dantalion was shaking out his hand, looking closely at Rey. There was no mark across his palm, no sign of damage, but a moment later he started massaging it as if to bring it back to life.

Ben dropped the bag on his desk and lifted his saber again to Rey’s throat. “Tell me the truth.”

So much for ignorance. “It’s a lightsaber. But it doesn’t work. The girl tried it. Wouldn’t turn on.” There was truth for him. 

“And you stole it from her. How?”

“She dropped it in the fight. I snatched it up.” She shrugged. “Easy.”

Kylo studied her. “And she didn’t try to follow you?”

Rey shook her head. 

He looked at the bag on his desk again. “So you brought it to me.”

Silence, except for the crackling of his lightsaber. Rey was beginning to think she’d have a small patch of burned red skin on her throat in addition to her bruises.

Then Dantalion stepped forward. “My lord. If I could make a suggestion?”

Ben blinked. “I don’t suppose it would matter if I said no at this point.”

Dantalion moved to stand beside Rey, facing Ben. “Instead of killing Azura yourself, why not let fate decide?”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“Send her on a mission. Something dangerous. And if she survives, so be it. If not . . .”

Ben’s eyes slid back and forth between them. “I never pictured you as a believer in destiny, Dantalion.”

“Maybe you should give it a try,” Dantalion muttered. Louder he said, “But it’s not about that. It’s a form of justice. Something all the Knights will understand.”

Ben considered this. Rey could see the wheels in his head turning.  _ He cares about them, too,  _ she thought.  _ His Knights.  _

That was her second realization about Ben’s emotions in the past several minutes, and she hadn’t fully recovered from the first one. Therefore, no one was more surprised than she when he lowered his saber and switched it off. Into the deafening silence he said, “Very well. As it happens, I have something in mind.”

Rey let out her breath. He strode to his desk and, digging in one of the drawers, pulled out a small black pyramid etched in red. Coming back to stand before her, he held it between thumb and forefinger in her line of vision. “Recognize this?”

“A Sith holocron,” said Dantalion, saving Rey from her moment of panic. “From Snoke?”

Ben nodded. “As it happens, I’m having trouble opening it. But there’s a place that could help me with that.”

“Surely you don’t mean . . .”

“Yes, Dantalion. I do.”

“But . . . you know the dangers--”

“Isn’t that the point?” Ben’s voice went cold. “Or would you prefer my original method?”

Dantalion fell silent. He glanced down at Rey, then swallowed. “No, my lord. You’re right.”

“What are you saying?” Rey asked.

“I’m saying you have to go to Mustafar,” said Ben matter-of-factly. “Find out how to open this holocron. Return to me with the information in three standard days, or don’t bother coming back at all.” He dropped the holocron, and only Rey’s quick instincts kept it from clattering to the ground. As it was, she caught it in her palm, the restraints biting into her wrist. 

“Mustafar?” she repeated, and the word came out small and strange on her tongue.

“You’re dismissed,” said Ben.

#

Kylo watched as Dantalion escorted Azura from his chambers. He should have disciplined her more, should never have let Dantalion witness their exchange. But, though he hated to admit it, something wasn’t right. 

He sat heavily at his desk, letting out a breath. His throat was tight, his head ringing. His hands were trembling. 

And he didn’t understand why.

The voice in the back of his head, the one he thought was gone forever, chimed in.  _ Killing Snoke made you weak. You’ve lost the ability to command them. _

_ And then you lost Rey. _

She had escaped him again. But not completely. She would come back. 

She had to come back. 

As if the thought of her had banished that voice, his hands steadied. Taking a deep breath, he lifted the bag with her lightsaber inside and set it before him on the desktop. He peeled back the opening of the bag until the lightsaber lay on the brown leather before him, untouched. He was not as careless as Dantalion.

He knew these weapons had their own power.

Her alterations had been skillfully done, but it still looked a bit cobbled-together, a bit rough. Like her. Kylo could not help picturing her bent over the saber, laboring over the small wires and intricate welding, perhaps late into the night. The thought gave him a warm rush of . . protectiveness. Longing. Unfamiliar sensations for which he had no name.

Closing his eyes, he opened himself up little by little to the Force. Although he was being careful, the wave that hit him took him by surprise. The sleeping power of the kyber crystal came first. Then, a hint of something new--some cracks and splinters that were left behind after the crystal was split in two. He reached to explore that further--

\--and reached too far. The blazing Force presence of a powerful, familiar user filled his senses. Though she was halfway across the ship if Hux had done his job, her nearness was inescapable. 

Kylo slammed down his mental barriers, gasping for air as he opened his eyes. 

Leia. 

“My lord? I must speak with you.” Hux’s voice drilled through the durasteel door. 

Blast. Hux was the last person Kylo wanted to see. His headache sharpened at the mere sound of Hux’s voice. 

“It’s about the prisoner,” Hux added. 

_ Kriff.  _

Kylo strode across the room and punched open the door. “What do you want?”

“A word, my lord. In private.”

Kylo hesitated before stepping backward and allowing the general one step into his room. The door slid shut behind Hux, trapping him between Kylo and the wall. “Well?”

“She’s been placed in cell block AA-23, just as you advised, my lord. Three stormtroopers will be posted around the clock--”

“We don’t need them.”

“I’m sorry?”

Kylo crossed his arms, forcing Hux back until he was pressed against the wall. “I said, we don’t need your men. The Knights will handle it.”

“Ah. Very good.” Hux adjusted the collar of his uniform. “I assume that includes Hela Ren, my lord?”

Kylo resisted the urge to smile. “On the contrary. She’s been assigned to your personal guard, has she not? I thought you might appreciate that.”

“My lord?”

“She’s one of my strongest fighters. I know how much you value matters of security.”

Hux cleared his throat, not quite meeting Kylo’s eyes. “Of course.” 

After a beat of silence, Kylo said, “If that’s all--”

“Not quite. There’s something else.”

“Get on with it,” Kylo growled.

“It has come to my attention,” Hux began, “that we conducted a raid on a Resistance safehouse in Theed without my approval.”

Kylo raised his brows. So  _ that  _ was the comms interference on his channel with Dantalion. Hux had been listening in. “ _ We  _ did nothing,” he said, voice dropping to territory that should warn Hux to run. Fast. “And I think you forget, Hux. Your approval is not required.”

“My intelligence suggests that we had the chance to capture not only Leia Organa, but the traitors FN-2187, Poe Dameron, and even the Jedi. Yet your men came away with only one. Why is that?”

“I’m sure you have a theory,” said Kylo. 

“We could have sent in a battalion of stormtroopers. We could have obliterated them. And instead you sent  _ three men? _ ”

“Each of whom is worth fifty of yours,” said Kylo calmly. “If not more. If that’s all, general--”

Hux’s bright eyes flashed. “You claim you want to see this Resistance destroyed. I have yet to see any proof of that.”

Kylo froze. Even his voice turned to ice. “What do you mean by that?”

Hux gulped, but didn’t back down. “The leader of our enemy is sitting in a cell across this ship, ready for interrogation. Yet  _ you _ , Snoke’s interrogator, are nowhere to be found. Why is that,  _ Supreme Leader _ ?”

Kylo’s eyes bore into Hux’s, but he didn’t blink. Snoke had forbade the First Order from speaking Ben Solo’s name. But Hux, in his high position, obviously knew it--and his origins. This was a power move. “You go too far, general.”

“I do what must be done for the glory of the First Order. More than you can say.”

Rage dripped red across Kylo’s vision. Before he knew it, his hand was clenched, pulling the air from Hux’s lungs with the power of the Force. The general slumped back against the wall, hands on his throat, sucking for breath that would not come.

Hux’s eyes went from angry to desperate and imploring in an instant. As he slid down the wall and collapsed in a heap on the ground, he reached a shaking hand to Kylo’s boot. Kylo waited. How he longed to crunch down, crush bone, enjoy the sound of a man who couldn’t breathe trying to scream. 

Hux started to turn purple. 

_ No. This isn’t the way.  _

The voice came from nowhere, and yet it echoed in his mind as clearly as if someone had spoken over his shoulder. Was Rey--? But when he glanced behind, he was alone. No, it wasn’t her voice. Another’s. He let go of the Force, his anger slipping away like a wave running down the shore. 

The sound of Hux wheezing for air brought Kylo back to the present. Anger started to build again, but Kylo quelled it. Instead he said, “You’re in my way, general. I have an interrogation to attend.” And he punched open his door, stepped over Hux’s form, and walked out.

#

Dantalion stopped before a dull gray door in a long line of dull gray doors. Rey had tracked each twist and turn and they left Kylo’s quarters, building a map in her mind of the  _ Finalizer.  _ It was almost soothing, making the map. It kept her from thinking about what she was required to do next. 

_ Mustafar.  _ The name should mean something to her, she knew. It stirred like a monster in the shadows, a ghost in the dark. But she couldn’t quite place it. 

Dantalion tapped a code into the control panel and the dull gray door slid open. She waited for him to release her restraints and let her be, but instead, he marched ahead of her into the room. She had no choice but to follow. 

Once inside, he punched the door shut and reached for her restraints without a word. A single button released them, and they clattered to the floor. 

“Thanks,” said Rey. 

Dantalion moved quickly. One second, he was staring down at the restraints on the floor. The next, he had an electro-plasma knife in his hand and it was buzzing with energy at Rey’s throat. She backed away, but he followed, until she was pressed between the knife and the cold metal wall. “Tell me,” he said. “Where’s Azura?”

Rey blinked. He couldn’t see that, of course, because of her mask. He couldn’t see her at all. So how--?

“I know who you are, Jedi. So where is she?”

Rey swallowed. “If you kill me, she will die.”

His eyes flashed. They were a bright cobalt blue, striking against his pale skin and square-cut features. She registered distantly that he would be considered handsome by normal standards. Even if he was a bit short. “You’re bluffing,” he said. 

Rey dug frantically into Azura’s memories, picturing Dantalion’s face. She was surprised to find him scattered throughout countless moments, always with a wry smile, a playful nudge, a determined grin during sparring. He was staring up at the stars at her side on an overnight mission. He was murmuring softly into the darkness as they tried to sleep. 

_ R’iia’s shorts,  _ Rey realized.  _ He’s in love with her.  _

“Care to bet on that?” she asked. She knew he wouldn’t. The man in those memories would do anything,  _ anything,  _ to save Azura’s life. 

Rey was incredibly lucky. 

He released a frustrated growl and stepped back, cutting his electro-blade and stashing it at his belt. 

“How did you know?” she asked. 

He raised his hand and wiggled his fingers. “Force sense. I knew the moment I touched your sleeve that something was wrong.”

_ Oh, kriff. _ “Is that . . . normal? For you all?”

He raised a thin, dark eyebrow. “All?”

“You know. The Knights of Ren.”

To her surprise, Dantalion chuckled. “No. They wish. It’s one of my . . . particular skills.”

“I see.” Rey could not help the curiosity that bloomed within her. She remembered the cold brush of her fingers against the lightsaber at Maz’s castle, the slide of a silk dress against her palm in Theed . . . 

“So you’re the Jedi girl,” Dantalion said, eying her up and down. He shook his head. “I should have known.”

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, pushing away from the wall now that he was giving her space. 

“No offense, but you don’t exactly fill out the suit like she does.” 

Rey’s mouth fell open. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? “I--that is--”

“Whoa, relax, Jedi.” Dantalion was actually  _ grinning.  _ “Believe me. You’re not my type.” And in a lower voice: “And I value my life and limb . . .”

“What?”

He waved a hand, as if to say,  _ Forget it.  _ Then he sobered. “At least tell me she’s okay.”

“She’s fine. The worst she’ll have is a bad temper.”

A knowing half-smile crossed his lips. “Sounds like her.”

“But if you say anything--”

“I know. Resistance goes bang.” He stared at her, as if trying to get a read on her face, but when she didn’t move, he sighed. “I wish I hadn’t let her go on her own in the first place.” 

“Does anyone ‘let’ Azura do anything?” Rey asked drily. 

Dantalion barked a quick laugh. “No. Certainly not. I see you know her well already.”

“She even gave me a nickname.”

“Let me guess,” said Dantalion. “It’s something profane.”

“Not always,” Rey said. “Sometimes she says ‘Jedi scum’ instead of ‘Jedi bitch.’ When she’s in a good mood.”

“Or a bad one. ‘Bitch’ from Azura is a compliment,” he said. 

“Like calls to like,” Rey could not help adding, and he grinned again. Then he turned and crossed the room to the door, pausing to glance back her. 

“You’re an interesting one, Jedi Scum,” he said. “And you have balls, I’ll give you that. Marching right in here . . .” He shook his head again. “You really are as crazy as everyone says.”

“Is that what they say?”

He met her gaze. “I guess you’ll find out, won’t you?”

Rey could only stare in reply.  _ I guess I will . . .  _

“Now. As a gesture of good faith, I’m going to get you a shuttle ready. And you might want to make your way down to the armory before your little trip. You’re going to need a weapon . . . or two . . .”

Right. Mustafar. “Where do I meet you? And why are you helping me?”

“Docking bay 47. Level nine. And I thought we established that? I help you, you don’t kill my friend?”

Rey swallowed. “Right.”

For a moment, he paused, as if he would add something. But then he shut his mouth and punched open the door.  “See you in a bit, Jedi Scum.”

#

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't resist a nod to [Detention Block AA-23 :)](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Detention_Block_AA-23)
> 
> Also, Rey realizing Ben cares for her was inspired by this quote from The Last Jedi novelization by Jason Fry: "Rey had recovered first. She must have realized he was at her mercy, yet she'd left him alive. Almost as if she cared for him."
> 
> UM, DUH. 
> 
> I just love the idea of these two nerds both thinking "he/she wants to kill me. . . but with ~feelings" and then finally realizing, um, yeah, the feelings are kinda the point.
> 
> Next week:   
> \- Rey is Tested  
> \- Solo family reunion  
> \- "You were _five feet from me and I didn't notice_ "
> 
> Tune in and drop me a comment if you are so moved!


	8. Ghosts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter I present . . . **emotional smut.** My favorite kind, and a necessary precursor to the actual smut. I hope you enjoy . . .
> 
> Please let me know what you think, and thank you all for reading!!

Underlings and stormtroopers scattered ahead of Kylo’s march through the halls of the  _ Finalizer.  _ If the sound of his heavy footsteps ringing off the durasteel was not enough of a warning, then the look on his face should be.  He was still thrumming with rage at Hux’s words from a few minutes earlier, and beneath that, a cold, nervous feeling ran through him. Clammy sweat rose on his palms beneath his leather gloves. His mind kept going back to the voice that had interrupted his anger:  _ This isn’t the way.  _

He could not help returning in his memory to one particular afternoon in the Organa-Solo apartments on Coruscant. He pictured his room as it looked on that day: sunset-stained, furniture overturned everywhere, glass from a broken lamp at his feet. And the drip-drip-drip of his bloody knuckles onto the carpet. 

“Ben?” Upon reflection, his mother’s voice had been resigned, but at the time, thirteen-year-old Ben heard a sharpness in it. Reproach. “May I come in?”

“If I said no, would that stop you?”

“Probably not _,_ ” Leia admitted, opening his bedroom door. “I was being diplomatic.”

“Of course you were,” he muttered. He had not yet grown into his big hands and feet, and he was constantly walking into things, wearing a palette of bruises on his shins. That pain he had grown used to, but the bloody knuckles--they were throbbing with a new kind of sting.

Leia gave him a Look as she made her way around his battered furniture. “If you didn’t like the decor, you could’ve just said so.”

“Mom . . .”

“What? Tired of my jokes?”

“Just . . .” He turned his back to her as she reached his side, hiding his injured hand. “Leave me alone.”

“Oh, Ben.” She squeezed his shoulder, gently turning him back around. They were almost the same height then, so it was more difficult to avoid her steady gaze. “Let me see.”

He reluctantly held out his hand. 

She turned it left and right in the fading light. “No broken glass. That’s a start.”

“I punched the wall,” he said, pointing with his other hand to a new fist-sized hole in the pale blue paint. At her raised eyebrow, he added, “You heard what they were saying about Dad! Piljo’s just lucky it wasn’t his face!”

Leia’s hand squeezed involuntarily over Ben’s injured one. When he flinched, she relaxed, letting out a sigh. “You’re right. That’s something.”

“He deserved it, though.”

She smiled wryly. “That might be true sometimes, sweetheart. And the hardest thing to do is to keep those emotions in check.”

“How would you know? You never get upset.”

Leia looked at him blankly. Then, to his surprise, she laughed. He tugged his hand free, confused by this response, afraid he was being mocked again. Just like the other Senators’ kids always mocked him for his big ears, his awkwardness, and his smuggler-scum dad.  

“I’m sorry, Ben. If you only knew . . .” Leia shook her head, sobering at the look on his face. “Listen. I get angry, just like you. I get angry all the time. But this . . .” She waved a hand to encompass the utter destruction surrounding them. “ _ This  _ is not the answer.”

Kylo Ren shook himself free of the memory. That was before. A different time, another person. That wasn’t  _ him.  _ And now that he was about to see her again, for the first time since not long after that fateful day, he faced her as a new man. The Supreme Leader of the First Order.

“Sir.” A stormtrooper, HL-5415, straightened to attention at the entrance to the cell block hallway. “I’m sorry, we weren’t expecting you.”

“Take me to the prisoner,” said Kylo. 

HL-5415 nodded and turned, leading Kylo down the narrow hallway. To their right and left, evenly-spaced cell doors led to empty jail cells. This detention block was for political prisoners, and after the treaty exchange, the  _ Finalizer  _ held none. Until today.

About halfway down the hallway, the stormtrooper stopped. “I have to disable the ray shields, sir.”

“Go ahead.” Kylo waited as HL-5415 punched in the proper code. Otherwise, they would find themselves trapped the instant they crossed the next security checkpoint. Hux was not messing around. He’d had the ray shields installed in every detention block after Rey had easily overcome her meager guard on Starkiller Base.

Yet, ironically, when Kylo and HL-5415 reached Leia’s cell, only two stormtroopers stood outside.

_ Like that would stop her.  _

“Leave us,” Kylo said, and the trio retreated back down the long hallway toward the first security checkpoint. Kylo waited until the last of them were at their stations, out of sight, before facing the door to his mother’s cell. 

The bio-identification control panel was  _ right there.  _ All he needed to do was take off his glove, press his thumb to the pad, say, “Kylo Ren,” and the door would slide open.

He didn’t move.

_ You’re weak,  _ the insidious voice said.  _ You’ll break down the instant you see her face.  _

Still he hesitated. In this case, the voice was probably right . . . it was always right. 

Kylo stepped closer to the cell door, leaning his forehead against the cold metal. He took in a shaky breath. Let it out.

That was when he heard her voice on the other side. 

“ . . . won’t be doing  _ that  _ again. I told you. All this Force stuff is exhausting.”

Kylo sucked in his breath. It was  _ her.  _ That same familiar hoarseness, always in command but not afraid to wisecrack, even in the direst of circumstances. His hands started to shake, his heart pounding in his ears. 

Then came the response. 

“It wouldn’t be if you took my advice and  _ practiced.” _

Kylo’s head jerked back.  _ Impossible.  _ But his senses weren’t lying. As he pressed his ear to the door again, he head Luke’s voice very clearly. 

“Then again, you have a few other things going on.”

“Damn right,” Leia said grumpily. There was a pause, then: “That was always my problem, wasn’t it?”

“Leia. You can’t blame yourself.”

“Can’t I? I’m his  _ mother _ , Luke--”

Kylo staggered away from the door until his back hit the opposite wall. Breathing heavily, he stared as if the metal would slide open and an army of ghosts would come spilling out.  _ He’s not here,  _ he told himself.  _ You’re imagining things . . .  _

A tomb on Naboo was one thing. The flagship of the First Order fleet was quite another.

A minute later, when Kylo barreled past the stormtroopers at the security checkpoint, they were silent beneath their helmets. All the better, for he couldn’t see the strange looks they must be giving him. “Activate the ray shields behind me,” he said as he left. “And I’m sending backup. I want eyes on that door at all times.”

The dim gray halls passed in a blur as Kylo hurried back to his quarters. His breath grew ragged, his throat tied in a hard knot. All he could hear was the pounding of his heartbeat and that word in Leia’s voice, over and over:  _ mother, mother, mother.  _

When he got back to his quarters, Hux was mercifully gone. Kylo punched in the code to lock his door behind him moments before he sagged against it, gasping for air. He raised a hand to unclasp the cloak at his throat, and his fingers trembled as the velvet fabric slithered to the ground. 

He blinked at the dark, empty room. His vision still wasn’t normal--the desk spun and blurred before his eyes. A powerful twist of emotion wracked him, as if he were being stretched apart. 

Without stopping to think, he burst forward and ripped the blankets off his bed, tearing them in half with his hands. He went to the desk next, unleashing the pent-up violence within to overturn it. He relished the clatter as it crashed to the ground. The drawers he pulled out and threw across the room, one at a time, letting their contents scatter in a heap of paper and broken glass. The datapad skittered to a halt at his feet. He picked it up and tossed it against the opposite wall, where it shattered into a hundred pieces.

When it was over, the room lay in tatters. The only sound was his own breathing, still uneven but slowing down. The violence drained from him, and he felt as lost and empty as he had as a thirteen-year-old boy with blood dripping from his hand.

Something warm dripped on his arm, and he startled. When he glanced down, he half-expected to see a stain of red sinking into the velvet blue of his tunic. To his surprise, there was no color in it. Just wetness. 

_ A tear.  _

He blinked, confused and uncertain. He could not remember the last time he had cried. 

Then he looked up.

She stood right beside him, close enough to touch, a thin trail of wetness on her cheek to match his scar. Her eyes were wide, glistening, but no more tears came. Just a searching look.

_ Rey.  _

#

She was lucky he hadn’t noticed her at first. 

The familiar tug in her chest gave Rey just enough warning to throw off Azura’s helmet. It bounced off the bed and hit the floor, making Rey flinch, but Ben didn’t notice. He was sagged against something, breathing hard, his eyes unseeing. 

Rey still wore black leather. She didn’t want to call attention to herself--didn’t want to move--but something about the look on his face stopped her from trying to sever their connection. He was shaking as if he stood on the edge of a precipice, about to fall.

That was when his face shuttered closed. His eyes, no longer unseeing, were focused in a line of driven rage. He crossed the space in front of her--his room, she assumed--and started tearing into something, lifting and throwing, wrenching and crashing. She couldn’t see what he was destroying--but she could see enough to know that something was destroying  _ him.  _

She shucked off Azura’s form-fitting jacket and dropped it on the floor. That left her in only her worn old breastband on top, but she crossed her arms over her chest, hoping he would be too distracted to notice.

She approached slowly, a little worried about being caught in the crossfire. He picked something up and threw it across the room when she reached his side. Then, mercifully, he stopped, his hands dropping. His shoulders rose and fell with his powerful breaths. Sweat beaded on his temple. His scar was a livid red.

An image from her childhood came back to her in a rush of forgotten emotion: the walls of her AT-AT pummeled by a sandstorm.  _ X’us’R’iia _ , the Teedos called the storm, and indeed it felt like the breath of some vengeful god. Rey, confined to her AT-AT, full of anger and loneliness and sadness and hope that she hadn’t been left behind, closed her eyes and screamed, knowing her voice would be lost to the storm. Dry lightning struck. Thunder boomed over the howl of the wind. And still Rey screamed until her voice was hoarse.

The look on Ben’s face now--that was what her scream felt like. 

Ben jumped, startled by something. Rey felt wetness on her face and realized she had started to cry. She blinked away the tears as he turned to her, seeing her at last. 

He froze.

“Ben?” she asked, surreptitiously wiping her face. “What’s wrong?”

His gaze traveled down her body, then leapt back up. If anything, he grew paler. 

She stepped closer. “What is it? What happened?” It could only be something terrible, to make him look like that. Had someone . . . hurt him? A savage violence twisted in her gut at the thought. 

“How long have you been here?” he asked. 

“Long enough.”

His jaw worked, and he turned his head aside. “I--I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

She was so shocked to hear those words from him that her mouth fell open. “What?”

“You shouldn’t have had to see that,” he said to the wall.

Now she grew angry. “What are you talking about? What happened to you?”

“I lost my temper,” he said, his voice bitter. “It won’t happen again.”

“Yeah, right,” she said, and his eyes jerked back to hers. To her surprise, hurt flashed within them. Rey realized that he hadn’t been joking. He had been completely serious. 

He was ashamed. 

“Ben . . .” She reached out instinctually, stepping closer, right up to his chest. He went completely still, staring down at her from his lofty height. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

His lips parted. She couldn’t help staring at them, soft, inviting.  _ No. This isn’t about that. _ She forced her eyes up to meet his. 

What she saw reached deep and clutched at her heart. He looked utterly lost at her words, his vulnerability bared to her. Raw confusion and loneliness cried out from his soft brown eyes. 

_ Has no one ever told him that before? _

She said the first words that came to mind, the truest ones. “You’re not alone. Remember?” That gaze was crying out for her to embrace him. Stepping right up to his chest was as close as she could get while maintaining her dignity. Her breasts brushed against him--just barely--and the sharp sensation sent shivers down her spine. 

His eyes feasted on her face, trailing down her skin, tracing her lips. He still looked lost, but a desperate hunger opened up behind that feeling, pulling her in. “Neither are you,” he said. Each time he breathed, the contact between his chest and her taut nipples sent flutters of pleasure through her core. 

“Then why don’t you trust me? Tell me what happened?”

He shook his head as if to clear it. “I . . .” His eyes drifted down again, lingering somewhere below her face now. She fought the urge to cross her arms over her chest.  All of a sudden, his gaze sharpened, and then he said, “What happened to your neck?”

_ Kriff kriff KRIFF.  _ “What do you mean?”

“It looks like . . .” He leaned a bit closer, and she caught his scent, leather and something woodsy. “Are those bruises?”

She raised her hands to her neck, covering the markings she’d forgotten until that moment. Her closeness to Ben meant that now her arms were pinned between them. Something flashed in his eyes. “It’s nothing.” 

He pressed forward, backing her up. “Remember when I said I wouldn’t lie to you?”

“A lie of omission isn’t the same thing,” she said, retreating until she hit her bedroom wall. He was pressed against her now, torso to torso, and she could feel the heat of him sinking into her bones. Their faces were inches apart. 

“Stop deflecting,” he said, his voice rumbling through her. “I know Azura gave them to you.”

She sagged in relief, letting the wall and Ben’s body keep her upright.  _ It’s okay. He hasn’t guessed the truth.  _ “Yes. We fought at the palace.”

“So you  _ were  _ there.”

She nodded. 

“Where?” His voice cracked. His eyes were focused, predatory. “Tell me.”

She needed to keep him distracted--so that he wouldn’t look closer at those bruises. If he saw the little red burn from his lightsaber, she was doomed. “I was in disguise,” she said. “Dressed as one of the handmaidens.”

She could see the emotions go through him: surprise, understanding, anger. And behind that, a flash of something quickly-suppressed: hurt. “You were  _ right there _ ,” he said, very slowly. “And I didn’t notice.”

“For a second I thought you had.” That was true. She remembered the feel of his heavy stare from across the hall. For a moment, a cord had stretched between them, not unlike the tug that Rey felt in her chest during their connections.

Now, before her, his eyes fell closed. A grimace of self-reproach crossed his face. “Perhaps, some part of me . . .” 

Rey found herself longing to hear the rest. But when he opened his eyes, cold steel lay within them. He pressed her closer to the wall. She knew she should be afraid, but instead she relished the warm strength of him, the way he caged her in. She felt . . . safe. A contradiction if there ever was one. 

She could unpack her own insanity later. For now, there was only Ben. 

“I will find you,” he growled. His voice burred over her skin, raising goosebumps on her arms. “And when I do . . .” He scanned her up and down, lighting her on fire. A promise flickered in his eyes. “You’ll have to kill me to escape again.”

Rey felt as if her bones were melting. She opened her mouth to say,  _ I’m here. Find me.  _

It would be so easy. He could walk right down the hall, take the elevator, march to her door. Peel the leather off her with more than just his eyes. Her body clenched at the thought. 

_ No,  _ the tiniest remaining voice of reason whispered.  _ It’s too dangerous. _

Gathering her strength of will, she closed her eyes and felt for the connection between them. It bloomed easily this time, not the hazy grasp of the past, but clear, like a gold ribbon. 

Brutally, hastily, she snipped it off. 

When she opened her eyes, she found herself alone in Azura’s bedroom, her knees shaking so hard she slid to the ground. Numbness crept across the previous warmth of her body. 

She’d come so close to ruining it all. 

So why did she suddenly regret that she hadn’t?

Rey tried to shake off the new fog in her mind as she dressed and slipped the holocron in her pocket, but it wasn’t easy. By the time she found a wandering droid who directed her to the armory, she feared she’d kept Dantalion waiting too long. She picked out what she knew Azura favored: two long, narrow blades that fit crossed on her back and a few small throwing knives that slid into carefully designed pockets. For her boot she found an electro-plasma dagger like Dantalion’s. It seemed wise to have more than just metal on her side. 

When she finally found docking bay 47, her fears had come true: Dantalion was not alone. Two men dressed in black stood beside him, one with olive skin and an eyepatch, and the second with vivid red hair. Rey had no need to dip into Azura’s memories to know the redhead was General Armitage Hux. 

She froze halfway across the docking bay. Finn and Rose had told her of the moment when Hux had nearly executed them. She heard in great detail how much he enjoyed the possibility of her friends’ deaths. A bolt of anger shot through her. Had  _ Hux  _ been the one to hurt Ben just now? 

A surge of violence followed hard on her anger. She found herself choosing which knife would be best for killing him before she could think. It took her a moment of deep breathing before she could start walking toward the men again. 

“So you  _ are  _ alive,” the eye-patch wearer said, looking her up and down.

“Try not to sound so disappointed, Zagan,” said Dantalion, sounding bored. 

_ Zagan Ren.  _ Rey recognized the name of another of Ben’s Knights. He was a bit rough around the edges, his hair ruffled, his cuffs frayed. But his single eye bore into her with an intensity that belied his casual manner. “Good to see you, too,” said Rey. 

A sniff from beside them drew all their attention. Hux looked down his nose. “You’re wanted at the prisoner’s cell, Zagan. The Supreme Leader requested it after his visit.”

“But what about that drink you promised me, Armitage?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Hux stiffly. Dantalion joined in with another quip that made the general’s lips tighten. But Rey was hardly listening anymore. 

_ Ben visited Leia.  _

Suddenly everything she had witnessed made total sense: his breakdown, his hesitation to talk about it, his withdrawal. Rey felt a physical ache in her chest as she remembered the look on his face. What had they talked about? What had Leia said to him? 

Rey wondered if he’d even made it through the door. 

“--right, Azura?”

Rey forced herself to focus on Dantalion. He was waiting with an expectant expression, his eyes full of meaning. “Right,” she said. 

“Going where?” Hux asked, his attention now on Rey. 

“Must--” she began, but Dantalion made a sharp movement with his head that she caught just in time. “Um. I mean.  _ Must  _ be something special for the Supreme Leader. He asked me not to say.”

Hux’s eyebrows shot up. “I am the commander of this army. I believe that means I outrank you,  _ Knight.  _ I’ll ask you again. Where are you going?”

“I thought you ‘believed’ in protocol, Armitage?” asked Zagan innocently. “And doesn’t that include following the Supreme Leader’s orders?”

“Not to mention the fact that we aren’t ranked,” added Dantalion. “Not according to your system, anyway.” He smiled, but it looked more like a threat than a kindness.

“You will address me as General,” Hux said to Zagan, clearly unwilling to concede defeat. 

“All right, General Armitage.” Zagan put his arm around Hux, who straightened so quickly he looked like he might fall over backward. “Why don’t you and I get that drink on the way to the cells? I feel like you could use it.”

“Get--your--hands-- _ off--me--” _

The two of them disappeared around the corner, Zagan propelling Hux along with the strength of his grip. 

Dantalion grinned. “He’s good, I’ll give him that.”

“Did I miss something there?”

“Kylo has us trailing Hux. Zagan’s taking it very seriously.” He smirked. 

“Hmm.” Rey’s gaze drifted to the place where Zagan and Hux had just disappeared. If Ben was already mistrustful of Hux, he must have good reason. What was Hux up to?

“Down, girl,” said Dantalion, drawing her attention back to him. She opened her mouth to protest, but he was already lowering the ramp of her ship, waving her inside. “I’ve stocked you with supplies to last about a week. If you’re gone longer than that, you have bigger problems.” He turned to her when they reached the cockpit. “Look, this won’t be easy, but there’s something you should know going in. We’ve all been to Mustafar once before. We had a . . . trial, of sorts. To reach full knighthood. And we all made it out alive. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t.”

“Thanks for that vote of confidence.” Why did Rey feel as if he were leaving something important out?

“Ha. Nice one, Jedi Scum.” He grinned at her. “You’ll do just fine.” Then he glanced to where the ramp descended into the docking bay, lowering his voice. “Actually, please come back. I really need all my body parts to stay exactly where they are.”

“O… kay…?” Rey waited for him to elaborate on that statement, but instead, he stepped back and gave her a jaunty wave. 

“Until next time,  _ Azura _ .” He disappeared down the ramp and punched it closed behind him.

When it clicked into place, leaving Rey in silence, she realized she’d have a lot to investigate when she made it back. 

_ If  _ she made it back.

She buckled into the pilot’s seat and got ready to fly. 

#

For longer than he cared to admit, Kylo stood facing his bedroom wall, regretting the space that Rey left behind. And not just her physical space, either--although that had been its own particular brand of exquisite torture. No, there was a mental quietude that came with her presence. And as soon as she departed, she left his mind in chaos once more. 

How could he have admitted that out loud to her? That to lose her again would kill him? He turned and leaned back against the durasteel, crossing his arms. The look in her eyes had made him betray himself. The softness there, the understanding, had undone him. 

After what she had seen . . . understanding was the last thing he expected from her. 

When some time had passed, he pushed himself away from the wall and crossed the room to his comm panel. 

“Supreme Leader?” came the immediate greeting. 

“Confirm new guard rotation has arrived at detention block AA-23.”

“Right away, sir.” A pause. “Abraxas and Nebarius Ren are on guard at the detention block, sir. Waiting on Zagan Ren.”

“Very good. Notify me when he arrives.”

“Of course, sir. Anything else?”

“Tell Dantalion to meet me in the training room in five minutes.” Kylo glanced around the room. “And send a cleanup crew to my quarters.”

“Right away, sir.”

Kylo was standing by the transparisteel, watching the stars, when the door to the training room slid open and Dantalion sauntered in. 

“Still dressed, your highness?” he said. “I would’ve thought you’d be the first out of your ballroom attire.”

“Don’t push your luck, Dantalion. You’ve already done it once tonight.”

“Only once? I’m doing better than I thought.”

Kylo ground his teeth, but deep down, he relaxed a bit. Dantalion’s sense of humor could always be relied on, and while Kylo never allowed himself to give in to it, there was reassuring normalcy in its constant presence. “You haven’t failed me completely. You brought in Azura, after all.”

“So much praise will go to my head,” said Dantalion drily. 

“ _ But  _ I need you to do something else for me.”

Dantalion waited, watching Kylo closely. Beneath all the bluster, he had a fine attention to detail, and his gift for psychometry made him the best tracker of all the Knights. 

“I need you to find the Jedi.”

A muscle in Dantalion’s face twitched. Was he nervous? That was unlike him. He’d always made a point of volunteering for tracking missions--in fact, he seemed to enjoy them. “Something wrong?” Kylo asked. 

“Nothing, my lord. I was just thinking . . . wouldn’t you prefer to look for her yourself?”

_ You have no idea how much.  _ Kylo turned to face the stars so Dantalion couldn’t read too much from his face. “I can’t leave the fleet in Hux’s hands. He’d stage a mutiny as soon as my ship took off.”

“But if you have the best sense of her--”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You are the two most powerful Force users left in the galaxy. It seems that you are her best match.” Was that amusement in Dantalion’s eyes?

“I received a report earlier from the security vessels orbiting Naboo. A single ship got through,” Kylo said, changing the subject. “It could only have been the Resistance, and R-- the Jedi  _ must _ be on board.”

Interest sparked in Dantalion’s eyes at last. “So they skipped town, huh? Right after the party? Clever kids . . .”

“See what you can find out. They’ll be headed for a rendezvous point, then most likely another base.”

“On it. I’ll send in reports whenever I find something,” said Dantalion, already headed to the door. His enthusiasm certainly turned around fast.

“And Dantalion . . .”

He stopped. “Yes, your highness?”

“Don’t let anyone else know about this mission.”  _ Especially Hux.  _ The last thing Kylo needed was to stoke the general’s already burning suspicion that Kylo was overly invested in Rey.

Whether that suspicion was true was another story. 

“Of course.” Dantalion bowed his head. “The secret is safe with me.”

#

Rey pulled out of lightspeed far more quickly than she would’ve liked. She’d spent the journey digging through Azura’s memories for a hint of what awaited her on Mustafar, and once she found it, she had to resist the urge to turn around. 

A planet of fire and horror lay at the end of this path. Even in the panicked blur of Azura’s memories, Rey could taste the fear. Something huge and dark slept under the jagged black castle where the Knights had been tested: an abyss that stared back into their souls. 

Whatever that darkness had shown Azura, she had blotted it out. Completely. 

Despite her shaking hands, Rey was able to navigate the atmosphere without any issues. The planet flared before her, a riot of red and gold. It was almost beautiful from above, mesmerizing, like staring into flames. But when the castle came into view, her hands began to sweat. It rose like black fangs to take a bite out of the sky.

The feeling grew worse as she landed on a nearby platform and exited the ship. First, the heat was suffocating, overbearing--she almost ripped off Azura’s mask then and there. Next, her head began to ache, a sharp pain behind her temples. It grew worse as she approached the castle that towered above her, waiting like a predator for its prey.

At last, she reached a pair of heavy doors. No sooner had she done so than she felt an almost physical force holding her back. Her muscles shook as she tried to push her way in. Still, her strength was barely enough. When the door creaked open reluctantly, she stopped on the threshold, gasping for breath.

Ahead of her was a hallway full of shadows.

And in the shadows, something moved. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Finalizer](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Finalizer)  
> [Ray shields](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Ray_shield)  
> [X'us'R'iia](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/X%27us%27R%27iia) (because what is a canonverse Reylo story without this reference? I just love the idea behind it so much)  
> [Teedos](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Teedo)  
> [Psychometry](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Psychometry)
> 
> In the next chapter, things will change... that's all I'm going to say. :) 
> 
> Please drop me a comment to let me know your thoughts! I love hearing from you all. Thanks again for reading <3


	9. Those Who Dare to Look

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this chapter got a bit longer than expected! As a result, I'm splitting it up and posting the second half over the weekend. Think of it as a Thanksgiving surprise (for my American readers who celebrate). :)
> 
> Speaking of... I'm thankful for all you lovely readers. You are AMAZING.
> 
> Happy reading!

In the split second between heartbeats, Rey took stock of her situation. 

Behind her, heavy castle doors opened onto the intense heat of Mustafar. A bead of sweat slid between her shoulder blades. She had two crossed blades on her back, throwing knives, and a dagger in her boot. Ahead of her, the shadows of the entrance hall continued to move. Something was coming, squat and low to the ground. As it got closer, a skittery  _ click-click-click _ echoed off the high stone ceiling. 

Rey shivered.  _ A lightsaber would be useful right about now. _

There was nothing to do but slide her blades into her hands and lower into battle position.

A second later, two Clone Wars-era droidekas emerged from the darkness, crawling closer like overgrown insects. They stopped several paces from her and raised their rayshields. Their blaster arms came up an instant later, preparing to fire.

Rey didn’t think. She let the Force take over. Her instincts rolled her to the wall, where she slipped behind the open door for cover. For less than a breath, she thought the droids’ blasts might penetrate the door, and that would be the end for her.

A rain of laser fire hit the stone in front of her.

The door held. 

After catching her breath, Rey slid as close to the edge of her cover as she dared, peeking around. The droids were inching closer, their blasts never letting up. Without a lightsaber to deflect them, she was a sitting target.

She glanced up. When she was scavenging back on Jakku, she’d scaled plenty of surfaces to ensure herself a hot meal at the end of the day. It’d been a while since she’d had to draw on that particular skill, but today was as good a day as any to get climbing.

She smoothed a palm along the rough black stone of the wall. The leather of her glove caught on the jagged rock. It was volcanic--which made sense, on a planet like Mustafar, covered in lava. Its rough, porous surface had a few dips and crevices. A few crevices were all she needed. 

Rey stowed her weapons, took off her gloves for better grip, and began to climb. Her palms grew scraped and raw almost immediately--it’d been too long--but she blocked out the wash of pain and kept pushing. The door was tall enough to hide her ascent from the droids, who would soon be close enough to shove their way clear to her. And she still had a few feet to go. 

Her legs started to shake as she drew even with the top of the open door. A moment later, her right foot slipped, and she almost lost it all. But instead of giving up, she used the momentum of the slip to twist in midair, lunging for the door. She held her breath. 

Palms smacked onto heavy rock. She hauled herself upright, gritting her teeth in a silent protest against the pain. After some maneuvering, she stood along the narrow surface of the doortop. It was heavy enough that it didn’t move, even as she slid her toes forward over the thin surface.

Below her, the droids were about to reach her former hiding spot. Lowering into a crouch, Rey pulled her blades free again. 

Time to test the weaponry of the First Order. 

As she leapt, a wild cry escaped her. She flipped in midair and landed in a crouch with her blades pointing straight toward the ground. 

Through the rounded domes of the two droidekas. 

They collapsed in a steaming heap of malfunctioning parts. Rey sprang upright, removing her blades with a screech of metal on metal. Her heart pounded as she surveyed the damage. Scorch marks from the droids’ lasers spattered the door. 

They had come very close. 

Rey calmed her breath, assessing the damage. Scraped and bloody palms--check. Strained shoulders--check. Otherwise, she was whole. She was fine. 

Some minutes later, when her pulse had slowed, she turned and walked deeper into the shadowed hall. If the droidekas were any indication, this place would be well protected, but they were strangely out of date for the era. She found herself wondering who had put them there. Who had built this place to begin with? What was it, really?

Clearly it was more than the old Sith archive she had imagined when Ben had first given her the assignment.

Rey tried to clear her thoughts as Luke had once taught her to do. She couldn’t afford to be distracted by fear. She had a mission--get to the core of this place, where she would find answers about the Sith holocron in her pocket. Get it open. 

And get out.

Rey closed her eyes and reached out with her senses, seeking some kind of direction. She could feel power in the air around her: an alluring song, familiar and yet different from the way she felt the Force on Ahch-To. There was a jarring note in the melody here, a strain she couldn’t quite make out. But it called to her. And it told her,  _ keep going. Come deeper. Find me. _

She continued down the entrance hall, deeper into the shadows. When she reached the end, her eyes started to adjust, and a grand staircase materialized out of the darkness. The stairs were wide, and halfway up they turned and led to another level. Aside from Rey’s own breathing, the castle was silent. As silent as a tomb. 

The next assault came suddenly, the moment after Rey’s foot hit the second floor landing. Two sentinel droids leapt from hidden alcoves in the wall. 

“Trespass at pain of death,” one of them cried in a robotic monotone as they surrounded her. Rey barely had time to duck before their blaster rifles fired. Unfortunately, they weren’t stupid enough to fire on one another with her out of the way. They shifted, their lasers flying into the walls, before firing again. 

Rey dropped to roll behind them, but not quickly enough. Pain blazed through her left shoulder as if she were on fire. She cried out, smelling burning leather, but there wasn’t time to check the seriousness of her injury. Not with the droids still advancing on her, one careful step at a time.

Red blurred her vision. Before she knew it, she was reaching out for that powerful Force song, pulling it to her. Shouting, she wrenched a blade free with her uninjured arm and sliced clean through the legs of the droid who had shot her. It collapsed in a heap but still tried to fire. She gathered the Force to her--or rather, it leapt into her hands--and crushed the droid’s head, metal caving in.

The second droid advanced on where she stood, the sparking wreckage of the first at her feet. “Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked. Her voice came out low and growly through Azura’s mask. She sounded like a stranger.

“Trespass at pain of death,” it said again. 

“I guess that’s a yes.” The only cover she could find was the alcove the droids had come from. She dove for it, but if the droid caught her head-on, she would be completely exposed. She barely had time to slide one of Azura’s throwing knives out of her sleeve before the droid staggered into view. 

The Force flowed into her, powerful and strong.  _ Unleash _ , it said, and she put all her anger and pain and rage behind the throw of her knife. It sang through the air and hit the droid squarely in its outstretched firing hand. The rifle clattered to the ground and skittered to a halt at Rey’s feet. 

She didn’t even have to bend over and pick it up. “Guess you should’ve said no,” she told the droid, an instant before she stepped on the rifle. The angle of her foot cricked it into the air, aiming right at the droid’s head. A flick of her fingers was enough to depress the trigger using the Force. 

Two quick shots. The droid collapsed to the ground, its face a mess of shorn metal and exposed wires. Rey fired off another shot, just to be safe, and the droid twitched once before lying still. 

The silence was deafening. Rey stood with her foot on the blaster for a minute longer, catching her breath. The powerful Force song faded out of her hearing, leaving her empty and tired. No--empty and thrumming with pain. 

Rey glanced down at her injury. The blaster bolt had missed her vital organs, if the smoking hole in the front left shoulder of her jacket was any indication. But it put her left arm entirely out of use. Even the tiniest movement to inspect the damage made her muscles scream in protest. She felt a stream of blood slide down her torso beneath the leather, catching in the waistband of her pants. 

_ Not good.  _ She had a medkit to treat the damage--back on her ship. She could get downstairs and outside in ten minutes or less. 

Assuming she didn’t run into any more sentinels on the way out. 

No. She could feel it. She was  _ so close.  _ She just had to make it to the core of this place. Then it would all be over, and she could leave. 

She reached out for the Force again, as she had done during the fight with the droids. It rose to her easily.  _ Too easily. _ There was something unsettling in its readiness to bend to her will. It wasn’t the harsh teacher she was familiar with, but instead more like a willing servant. She brought her senses closer, tangling with the Force only enough for it to guide her toward the center of its power. 

The castle called her upward.

She went to the end of the hallway, where another set of narrower stairs led her up to the next floor. The walls were closing in, and every shadow and corner seemed a place where more sentinels would jump out. But Rey reached the next floor without any issues. 

When she turned the corner, she ran into a wall of heat. The source was easy enough to find: a massive pool of lava lay below, and all that kept her from it was a thin durasteel bridge. Small white lights blinked from its edges, guiding her on. Across the bridge, she could see a doorway.

The song of the Force grew louder. 

_ Come to me,  _ it said.

#

Kylo sat in an early meeting with his officers when the pain came: a sudden, sharp ache in his left shoulder. A cramp. He squeezed it with his right hand, careful to keep his face blank. Fortunately, he was well able to maintain calm in the wake of pain.

After a moment, the sharp burn faded into a throbbing ache. His body regretted his lack of sleep for two nights running. He made a mental note to run by the medbay later and get something to help him sleep. 

“ . . . limits us to existing First Order conquests,” Hux was saying, his tones clipped. Still droning on about the hated treaty, then. Kylo was not surprised. 

“We’ve all read the terms, General. Do you have a point?”

Hux turned to him, nostrils flaring. “Indeed,  _ Supreme Leader.  _ A very simple one. What is our plan?”

Kylo looked around the table. Besides Hux, two admirals from other ships in the First Order Fleet had shuttled over for this meeting. Two more had holoprojected in from their positions at the outer edges of First Order space. All four of them wore different takes on a mildly curious expression.

“Interesting question. I have an answer for you.  _ A very simple one. _ ” Kylo savored the look of disgust on Hux’s face as his own words were thrown back at him. “We get caught.”

Silence blanketed the table. The admirals looked stunned, and Hux grew pale with fury. It was the reaction Kylo had been expecting, but a sense of exhaustion overtook him anyway at the sight. Where were all the free thinkers in the First Order?

But he knew the answer before he’d finished asking the question. The First Order was not designed for independent thinking. 

“Excuse me, Supreme Leader,” asked Admiral Hughan of the  _ Destroyer _ , her firm tones carrying across the table. “Caught by whom?”

Kylo ignored the question. “Bryont. Have you spread the news of General Organa’s capture in the Mid-Rim?”

“Yes, sir,” came the prompt reply from one of the holoprojected admirals, his voice scratchy. “I have men on the ground in six systems. Plain clothes.”

“And you, Admiral Cassides?”

“My agents in the Core tell me that the news is spreading like wildfire,” said the second holoprojected admiral. She was wizened with age, her white hair and bushy eyebrows turned pale blue by the holo. But she sounded the least surprised by Kylo’s line of questioning. If anything, a sharp note of intelligence shone in her eyes. 

So not  _ all _ independent thinking was gone, then. 

“You released the information?” Hux glanced at Bryont and Cassides, the unspoken “without telling me?” plain in his tone. “I thought we asked the Chancellor not to do so.”

“We did,” said Kylo. 

“The leak will appear to come from within,” said Admiral Hughan, understanding dawning on her freckled features.

“Which makes the information more credible,” said Admiral Rourke from the destroyer  _ Leader’s Arm.  _ He was the youngest of all the admirals at the table. “The Resistance. You want them to bite.”

“We have to make them work to find our location,” said Kylo simply. “If it’s too easy, they’ll know it’s a trap.”

“And our armies? Our planetary governments? They are just supposed to wait until the Resistance gets caught?” asked Hux.

Kylo stared him down. “Are you telling me the army has nothing to do?”

“Your treaty prevents further planetary acquisitions. We’re not fighting anymore.” Hux’s voice was peevish, his lips tight. 

“Indeed. We’re building something instead.” Kylo stood up, and the admirals and Hux followed suit. “Send your armies to the planets we acquired before the treaty. I want regular reports on infrastructure development, provisional governments--any service they provide to the people of the First Order.”

“Service?” Hux spoke as if he didn’t know the word. 

Kylo blinked at him. “It’s an idea you should be very familiar with, General. Or do you have a different name for your duty to your Supreme Leader?”

Hux glared from across the room. Kylo could think of a few words that Hux might use to describe his current position.  _ Impossible, unendurable, insufferable,  _ for example. But the most important one of all lay unspoken between them.

_ Unquestionable.  _

“Now if you’ll excuse me . . .” Kylo left the room before Hux could reply. 

Hela stood in the hallway outside, masked and silent, along with a line of stormtroopers who had been assigned to the admirals on their way over. Kylo waved for her to fall into step beside him. 

“Any updates on Hux?” he asked, lowering his voice. Behind him, the sounds of the admirals spilling out echoed around the hall. 

“I’ve had five opportunities to poison him over the past two days.”

“Ah . . .” 

“Two to kill him in his sleep,” she added. 

“That’s . . . helpful. But I was thinking more about his plans.”

“Oh. I see.” Hela glanced sideways, but her dark mask made her expression impossible to see, and her voice was deadpan as always. “He has a private comm channel set up from his quarters. I hacked it last night and discovered it goes to a First Order vessel in the Mustafar system.”

“You broke into his quarters?”

“Of course,” she said, sounding confused. 

Kylo resisted the urge to question her on how that went. “Oh. Well. Good job.”

Hela shrugged this off. “The Mustafar battalion is the First Order’s best. Not that that’s saying much.”

“I see.” Kylo wracked his mind. Had Snoke ever mentioned this elite stormtrooper battalion? It seemed vaguely familiar, from a time when Kylo had left Mustafar behind and turned his focus to finding Luke Skywalker.  _ A good leader never lets down his guard,  _ Snoke had said before stationing them out there. Vader’s castle had been something worthy of protection--and only by the best.

Kylo thought of Azura, who should have arrived at the castle by now. Had she encountered this battalion in Mustafarian space? Would they have warned her not to go planetside? Either way, she knew what she was facing there. 

Whether she came back or not was up to her. 

“I believe he’s trying to sway the elite to his side,” said Hela, pulling Kylo back to the present. “In case of an attempted coup.”

“Very good. Thank you, Hela.”

“Shall I kill him now, my lord?”

“No. Get me a line to his comm channel. Keep a close eye on him.” He didn’t have to ask her to keep it quiet--she knew. He stopped and turned to face her. “You’ve done well.”

“Thank you, my lord.” She bowed her head before retreating to the meeting room door, where Hux stood in discussion with Admiral Hughan. Hux straightened as Hela came into his line of sight. He lifted his chin, his eyes flashing up and down. Kylo felt a spark of amusement. 

Hela’s news came as no surprise. The question wasn’t whether Hux would attempt to overthrow him, but when and with what help. Now Kylo knew one of the answers. 

The other would be revealed in time. 

#

“Don’t look down,” Rey told herself as she prepared to cross the narrow durasteel bridge. “Don’t think about it.”

For some reason, she thought of Finn--the way he’d give himself little pep talks under his breath in the middle of something stressful. Afterward, he’d pretend no one had heard him. The thought made her smile. 

Taking a deep breath, she took her first step over the roiling mass of lava far below.

Sweat rose on her temple beneath her helmet. The echo of her single step rang throughout the vast chamber. She resisted the urge to look down. 

Nothing happened.

She walked more steadily forward, ignoring the burning pain in her shoulder. Without really meaning to, she began to pick up her pace, her footsteps growing louder. Soon, she was jogging, then running fult tilt across the bridge. Fear pushed her onward. Fear, and something else. 

_ Come to me.  _

She reached the other side of the chamber without an issue. Only then did she allow herself to turn and look back. The room was dark, stained red by the lava below, but otherwise undisturbed. She could see her way back out again, a small and distant smudge of darkness across the bridge.

She faced forward.

Before she could do anything, the blaster door ahead of her opened of its own accord. 

Force power hit Rey like a sandstorm, buffeting her from head to toe. Her skin prickled as if she were being watched, but as she inched her way into the room, she saw nothing. Nothing alive, at least.

Four towering rectangular stones stood in a circle, inviting her in. Etchings covered each one, written in an unfamiliar language that Rey nevertheless understood. It warned her of darkness and gates and veils being lifted aside. It asked her if she dared to look. 

Rey shivered, but something propelled her forward anyway.  _ Ben did it. The Knights did it. So can I.  _

At the center of the stones, a round boulder waited like an altar for a sacrifice. The twisted melody that had been pulsing through the castle up to this point blared out strong and seductive from that place. This was the beating heart.  _ This  _ was the source of power. 

Rey stepped up to it, the throb in her arm fading under the sweet sensation of being lulled to sleep. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the Sith holocron. It glowed with a strange red light. 

She held her breath. The Force twined around her. 

Then she set the holocron on the altar, and the room lit on fire. 

The etchings glowed a brilliant gold, flame cascading down the sides of the stones. Power drew inward like water dripping into a bowl. The air stirred around Rey, but she held her ground. Before her, images unspooled against a starlit sky, as if the walls had opened up onto space itself. 

People in strange clothes stood with the holocron cupped in their hands. Just two of them--a couple. Rey didn’t know how she knew. Perhaps she could see it on their faces--the love, the pain. They cupped the small object between them, heads bent and eyes closed. And slowly, like a flower opening, it bloomed.

The people disappeared, and another couple replaced them. Two women this time. The holocron in their cupped palms was the same. Power glowed between them as they closed their eyes, hands touching. The tiny object they held unfolded again. 

_ This is how you open it,  _ said the song in Rey’s ears. More couples appeared before her eyes, opening the holocron together.  _ Only those whom the Force has bound together can take themselves apart.  _

Rey felt something stir deep within her.  _ No!  _ It cried out, like a wounded thing. And it called her back.  _ That’s enough _ , it said. 

But she couldn’t break free. She closed her eyes to blot out the images and they played behind her eyelids instead. 

_ Those who dare to look should not be afraid of what they see.  _

She saw herself making her first mark on the wall in Jakku. She saw Ben with his ears too big for his head, his knuckles dripping on an expensive carpet. 

_ Please no.  _ She tried to pull away again, to cut it off. But the images kept coming. 

She stood in a forest of snow, colder than she’d ever been in her life. Across from her, Ben’s face was full of wonder and anger and awe, his eyes on the lightsaber she’d just summoned to her hands.  _ Starkiller,  _ she thought, but as soon as she had a grip on the moment, the vision changed. 

She was in the hut on Ahch-To, Ben’s fingers warm on hers. The slide of skin on skin made her throat tighten. Rey’s body grew warm and wet--or was that the blood sliding down her front? She shook her head to clear it--

\--and the vision changed again. She was naked, sheltered in the warmth of another body. Skin brushed skin and she gasped aloud. The person above her moved, pulling back, and suddenly she saw Ben, his eyes dark with desire. A faint sheen of sweat glistened over his skin. Rey’s hands dug into the muscles of his back and he let out a moan like he was in pain. She felt the sound like a stroke of his fingers against the wetness between her legs. She arched up to meet him--

\--and suddenly he was glaring down at her, his eyes blazing. She was dressed again--Azura’s black leather--but her mask was gone. She felt hands on her shoulders, gripping tight, holding her on her knees. She couldn’t turn away from the fiery anger on Ben’s face: so hot it burned cold. She shivered, and Ben said,  _ Tomorrow, she will die.  _

_ No,  _ Rey cried out. She squeezed her eyes shut, but the image of his face remained there, stabbing her with remorse. She recognized the look in his eyes:  _ betrayal.  _

The song around her grew harsher than ever, scratching at her ear drums until they bled. She clutched at her head, but it wouldn’t stop, it just grew louder and louder until she couldn’t bear it anymore, she would go mad, and Ben’s face with that look of betrayal would be the last thing she’d ever see--

“That’s enough!” cried an unfamiliar voice. The tone of command rang through the chaos. An instant later, the room stilled. All was silence and surrender. Rey collapsed to the floor, her face wet with tears.

For several long moments, she waited for the song to come back. All she could do was breathe in and out and wait for it, because her body was weakened of all movement now. But blissfully, miraculously, nothing came. 

“It’s all right,” said the voice. Young and male. “You’re safe now.”

Rey groaned. She managed to push herself to sitting with her right arm, her body protesting as she moved. 

“Easy there. That’s right. Can you stand?”

She blinked away the blood that has dripped from her ears. “Who--?”

A vision wavered and solidified before her: a man not much older than her, it seemed, with a scar down his right eye. For a moment, she thought of Ben, and her heart jumped in her chest. But then she saw his lighter curls of hair, his white robes, and she realized she was staring at a stranger. And she could see  _ through him.  _

A ghost.

“I would help you up,” he said, “but I’m afraid you need solid hands for that.” He sounded rueful. 

She couldn’t find the energy for even a half-hearted smile at his joke. “Who are you?”

“I am . . . someone very interested in your survival. Can you stand?” he asked again. 

“That doesn’t really answer my question.”

“A friend,” he said. “An ally in the Force. Is that enough?”

“No,” said Rey frankly. “I want to know how you silenced that--that  _ song _ , for one.”

“Is that how you experienced it? A song?” He sounded curious, his eyes flicking past her to the altar at her back. “It’s different for everyone. And I didn’t exactly silence it. I just called you back.”

“Back? Back from where?”

“From the world between worlds,” he said, as if that would perfectly clarify matters. “It’s easy to get lost in there. Many people have.” He half-smiled, a bitter smile that reminded her even more of Ben. “Myself included.”

“You’ve been here before? I mean, when you were living?”

“Yes.” His answer did not invite more questions. “Now, I really must insist that you try to stand.”

Rey did not like being kept in the dark, but she felt the blood dripping off her chin beneath her mask and realized he was right. She needed to get out of the castle, out to her medkit,  _ fast.  _ She gathered all her strength of will and forced herself to her knees. Her legs protested, but after a second more, she was able to stagger to her feet. 

“Well done,” said the stranger. 

She ignored this, swiping the holocron from the altar and jamming it into her pocket. “Unless you know a shortcut out of here, I think I’m fine without your help.”

“Funny you should ask,” he said. “This way.” He turned and walked on his transparent feet out of the blast door, which opened as he approached. Rey hurried after him.  _ Perhaps I’m hallucinating,  _ she thought.  _ Blood loss and all . . . _

The ghost led her halfway across the bridge and stopped, waiting for her to catch up. “Here you go,” he said when she did. 

“I’m sorry?”

“Shortcut.” He pointed to his right, where a small opening led to a docking bay. 

After a short leap of about five paces. Over boiling lava. 

“Are you joking?” Rey asked. 

“I’ve heard good things about you, Rey of Jakku. You can make it.”

“I can barely walk,” she said. “And how do you know who I am?”

“Your old Master might have mentioned you.”

Rey blinked at him in confusion. Several moments passed before understanding dawned. “Luke.”

The stranger nodded once, and this time, his smile was genuine. It brightened his eyes, lifting away nameless cares, and for an instant, he was breathtakingly handsome. 

“You’ve seen him?” Rey asked. “Is he--like you? A ghost?” She paused. “Wait. Can  _ I  _ see him? Can you--”

“Hold on,” said the stranger, lifting his palms. “There will be time for your questions later. For now . . .” He flicked his head toward the platform. “You need to go.”

“But . . . but how will I find you again?”

“Look to the Force,” he said. “It is the true place to find all things lost to us.” His eyes became heavy and burdened once more.

_ The Force.  _ Is that what had bound her so tightly a few moments before? The visions she’d seen danced across her memory, and she felt her cheeks heat. “Does the Force ever . . . lie?” she asked quietly. 

The stranger studied her closely. “The Force doesn’t. People do. Now  _ go. _ ”

“One more question,” said Rey.

He sighed. “Yes?”

“Why are you helping me?”

He smiled again, and this one was small and sad and beautiful all at once. “You remind me of someone,” he said. “And she would’ve wanted me to help.”

Rey frowned. “Is it someone I--”

“ _ Go _ ,” said the stranger firmly, pushing his hands out to her. Reluctantly, Rey turned. The platform waited for her, one long running leap away. That distance would have been nothing in her scavenging days, or even an hour or so ago, when she first arrived here. But her body ached just staring at the distance. Below, the lava bubbled hungrily, as if it waited to devour her. She swallowed, glancing to her side. 

“But what if I--”

The ghost was gone. She was alone. 

“Okay then.” She gritted her teeth and jogged to the opposite end of the bridge, so she’d have some space to build momentum. She could do this. Despite the aches, despite the bleeding, she could make this jump. And then she would be free of this place. 

She sucked in a breath, let it out, and ran. 

Her feet slapped on the metal, jarring her bones. One--two--three long steps, and then--she was  _ flying-- _

She landed hard on her stomach on the landing platform and began to slide off. Her hands scrabbled for purchase, her shoulder screaming, her blood-slicked palms slipping over stone. Her legs churned in the air, seeking a foothold. Nothing. She would fall--

A powerful surge of the Force hit her, and she used it to haul herself up and onto the platform. She rolled through the castle opening and found herself flat on her back outside, staring up at the darkness of the Mustafarian atmosphere. 

She couldn’t move. She could hardly  _ breathe.  _ But she was free. 

#

Kylo gripped his head, pausing in his walk through the halls of the  _ Finalizer.  _ The headache that had been pounding for an hour or more suddenly burst to life, a haze of pain settling over his vision. And his shoulder still throbbed. What was going on?

He thought back over the last few days. His meditation had not been what it should. His feelings had been all over the place, and Rey--

No. He couldn’t think of her. Just the memory of her face, open and accepting, made his pulse race. She replaced the anger that fueled him with something else. Something softer. 

_ Something weak _ , said the perilous voice in the back of his head. 

He shook off the voice and started walking again. Irritation called the Force to him, and he drew on its power. He would think about Rey another time. 

For now, he could at least solve  _ one  _ of his problems. 

The stormtroopers didn’t question him when he arrived at Detention Block AA-23. Instead, they led him down the hall in silence, disabling the rayshields without a word. Up ahead, Abraxas, Nebarius, and Zagan sat on their haunches outside Leia’s cell, throwing down some dice. 

“--and then I told him that I wanted his help picking out a new blaster,” said Zagan, scooping up the latest roll. “You should’ve seen his face. I thought he was going to punch me.”

“Ha! I’d put money on Hux.”

Zagan looked wounded. “And I considered you a friend.”

“Long odds,” said Abraxas with a grunt. “You know Nebarius loves those.”

“Must be why he always loses,” said Kylo, and they all glanced up.  

“My lord.” They were on their feet in a moment, bowing their heads. 

“We weren’t slacking,” said Zagan quickly. “It’s silent as space in there.”

“It’s fine. Leave us,” said Kylo.

They all exchanged knowing looks. “If you’d like, we can stay . . .” Abraxas began.

“It’s fine. Go.” 

They stood and retreated down the hall, but not without a few backward glances. Kylo waited until Zagan had finished peeking over his shoulder before turning to face the cell door once again. 

He refused to hesitate this time. Angrily, swiftly, he tore off his glove, put his finger against the bio-identifier, and said, “Kylo Ren.”

The door slid open. 

His mother sat on the lone piece of furniture in the cell, a narrow bed. For someone whose presence Kylo remembered as larger than life, she was actually quite small against the plain white mattress. She wore a dark blue robe--probably the dress she had come in--but her jewelry was gone, and her usually pristine hair was falling in tendrils from its complicated braid. There was some meaning to that braid, he thought. Something from her home planet. But then she glanced up at him, and the thought fled.

She looked . . . old. Her soft brown eyes were the same--reproachful, defiant, sad--but they wore new wrinkles and a drawn, gaunt look that had come with age. Her face revealed nothing. Her lips remained flat. “Hello, Ben,” she said. 

“Is that the best you can do?” He stepped all the way into the room. The door slid shut behind him. Her eyes followed the movement, and he wanted to see fear in them, or perhaps distrust. Anything other than the resigned sadness in their depths. 

“Would you prefer that I start listing off my grievances instead?” she asked, voice dry.

“ _ Your  _ grievances? Because you have so many of them, I’m sure.”

Leia’s eyes flashed with something, and it was  _ not  _ fear. “So you really want to do this now.”

“I’m sorry, do you have somewhere else to be? A Resistance base, perhaps?”

She laughed. She  _ laughed.  _ Fury rose up like lava, burning him from the inside out, and before he knew it, his hand was outstretched, the Force pulled to it. How easy it would be to squeeze his fingers and close her throat. 

She went quiet and stared, silent and defiant and something else. Something he did not want to see. Her eyes said,  _ do it.  _ But they also said,  _ you won’t.  _ And also,  _ I forgive you . . .  _

He dropped his arm to his side and began to pace the tiny chamber. It was easier to watch his boots cross the floor than to meet that heavy gaze. “Your pathetic Resistance is on its last legs. Without you, they’ll be finished.”

“I wish I could take that much credit,” she said. 

He stopped. Turned. “Is everything a joke to you?”

“Do I look like I’m laughing?”

No. She didn’t. She looked . . . tired. Sad. Familiar. And it was killing him. “We’ll find them with or without your help,” he said, partly for his own benefit. A promise. “They’ll come right to us, searching for you. How does it feel knowing you’ll be the instrument of their destruction?”

“Being responsible for the loss of everything I care about?” She looked right into his eyes, her gaze steady, her face unblinking. “The same as it ever did.”

The statement, paired with that unflinching stare, staggered him a bit. He stepped back without meaning to. The pain washed through him again, starting in his shoulder, throbbing in his head. He gripped his left shoulder with his right hand. 

Her eyes narrowed. She noticed.

_ Weak, weak, weak. _

He forced himself to let go, sucking in a deep breath. “You admit it, then. It was  _ your fault. _ ”

“Being responsible and being at fault are not the same.” She tilted her head. “I thought I taught you that, Ben.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why not? It’s your name.”

“ _ Not anymore.  _ I cast it aside. That, and all the rest of me.”  _ There.  _ His voice didn’t even shake when he said it.

She sighed, leaning back on her hands. “I didn’t realize it was that easy. I should’ve tried that years ago.”

“ _ Enough, _ ” said Kylo, the blood pounding in his ears. He reached with the Force and his lightsaber leapt from his belt to his hand. He ignited it an instant later, and it burned between them, filling the room with its heat. “Tell me where the Resistance is hiding.”

“You can’t bully me, Ben.” She sounded tired. Exhausted, really. But still unafraid. 

He held the lightsaber toward her, its jagged point a foot from her chest. “ _ Tell. Me. _ ”

“You think I’m afraid?” She shook her head. “What is there to be afraid of?”

The question enraged him.  _ She doubted his strength. _ The voice in his head whispered,  _ She always has.  _ Her, and everyone else. He was tired of it. “I could kill you,” he said, bringing the lightsaber an inch closer for emphasis.

Her eyes, wide and unblinking, reflected back the red of his lightsaber. “Don’t you see, Ben?” she said. “There is no way you could hurt me more than you already have.”

He froze. The words shot through him, as effective as any blaster.  _ More  _ effective, because he had no way to seal up the holes they left behind. His lightsaber buzzed and hummed into the silence until it became a drone, loud as Kylo’s heartbeat, loud as the headache pounding in his skull. It deafened him. It tasted rusty on his tongue. 

Out of nowhere, a memory overwhelmed him: the feel of his father’s hand against his cheek. Han’s palm was rough, worn by age and the perpetual grip of a gun. But gentle. Tender, in a way Han had never been before. There was always too much between them, until the end--when there was nothing between them but a lightsaber and empty air. 

Kylo had to leave. He had to leave  _ now.  _ He disengaged his lightsaber and clipped it to his belt, fumbling with the catch. The room was starting to darken around his vision, stars dancing before his eyes. He couldn’t let her see his weakness.  _ He had to get out.  _

The next few moments passed in a blur. He remembered hitting the door controls--his knuckles smarted--but he didn’t remember passing the security checkpoint. Nor did he recall getting in the elevator, heading down to his floor. It wasn’t until he was punching in the code to his quarters that he came to. 

The place was unfamiliar. It had been reorganized, the furniture repaired or replaced. A new datapad waited on his desk, and someone had added a comfortable chair and table for dining in the corner. More space he would never use. More items to destroy. 

But the rage didn’t come. Instead, he felt empty and numb. No, not completely--he felt a sudden, fierce longing, an ache that he could not name. It was like loneliness, but it tasted unfamiliar. It tasted so sweet it hurt.

Slowly, heavily, he walked to the bed. The mattress bounced beneath him as he sat down and lay back. Above him, the dim lights made shadows on the ceiling. He stared until his eyes hurt, until his headache dulled, until the minutes turned to hours. But no matter how long he waited, the feeling didn’t go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Droidekas](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Droideka)  
> [IG-86 Sentinel Droids](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/IG-86_sentinel_droid)  
> [The chamber in Vader's palace](https://io9.gizmodo.com/marvels-darth-vader-comic-is-doing-something-extremely-1830470083) \- This plot point was inspired by the recent arc in the [Vader comics.](https://www.marvel.com/comics/series/23095/darth_vader_2017_-_present)  
>  Okay, I know I promised that everything will change. This is the start of that. 
> 
> And next chapter... Rey is on pain meds. Ben is soft. There may or may not be kissing.
> 
> See you soon :)


	10. Force Bound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me, beloved readers! There's something in this chapter that I hope you will like. ;)
> 
> Also, I updated the total chapters on this fic to 20. It's looking like I will need a few extra to round things out. 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts, and enjoy!

Rey groaned, coming slowly back to consciousness. For a moment, she couldn’t see, and she panicked, thinking she was blind. But then she remembered Azura’s mask and the blood dripping from her ears. It must have dried on the inside of her eyescreen. Beyond the brown blot, she could barely make out the shape of her ship’s console. 

Her ship.  _ She’d made it to her ship.  _

It came back to her in pieces as she sat up in the pilot’s chair. She remembered staggering in, slamming shut the ramp, preparing to take off. But then she remembered the dizziness, the nausea. She’d wiped at her mask, trying to remove the blood she couldn’t reach. 

That’s when the ship started to spin. 

A muffled thump from behind her made her jump. Immediately, she regretted the action. Her body protested, her shoulder coming unstuck from the chair.  _ That’s not a good sign,  _ she thought. 

“501st battalion!” came a shout from outside the ship. “Open up!”

_ 501st battalion?  _ Rey had never heard of such a unit. Not Resistance, then. First Order? She shook her head, trying to clear it, but the motion only hurt more. 

A blinking red light on her console caught her attention.  _ A distress beacon.  _ She must have deployed it right before passing out. Someone out there in space had received it. And if they were on the same channel as this ship, they had to be First Order. 

Her brain was too muddled to decide if that was good news or bad. 

Rey glanced down. By now, her black leather was covered in blood, and her left arm had gone numb. There was no time to worry about her disguise--her life was in danger. And if she couldn’t administer her own medkit, there was no  _ way  _ she could pilot herself home. With painstaking care, she reached forward and flipped open the ship’s ramp. 

“Finally,” came the stormtrooper’s voice as he climbed up behind her. “I was starting to think I arrived too late.”

Rey tried to stand, but her knees collapsed beneath her weight. The floor rose quickly toward her face. 

“Whoa! Steady,” said the stormtrooper, lunging forward and catching her just in time. She felt the cold, hard embrace of his armor before he turned her around, giving her a glimpse of his face. 

How strange. She must be hallucinating. This stormtrooper wore  _ black  _ armor, not white. “Who are you?” she asked.

“I was going to ask you the same question.” He lowered her slowly to the floor of the ship, then pulled a pack from his back and started removing medical supplies. “But then I got a look at you. Azura Ren, right?”

“What?”

“I’m First Order. 501st battalion. I’ve seen you before.”

“Oh. Right . . .” She’d almost given herself away. Her brain wasn’t working properly. She should be more careful, or at least be silent-- “Ow!” she cried, as the stormtrooper began poking at her shoulder. 

“Sorry. I’m going to have to cut your sleeve off.” 

“No!” She couldn’t risk it. This was her only jacket.  _ I’ll get caught _ , was all she could think. “I can take it off.”

“I doubt that,” said the stormtrooper. “It’ll be faster if I just--” He reached into his pack and pulled out a knife.

“I got it,” said Rey. She pushed herself upright slowly and began to unhook the tiny clasps that held the jacket in place. Her fingers slipped over the metal. It took her awhile to realize it was because her gloves were covered in blood. 

“Just--stop. Let me.” The stormtrooper pushed her hand away. He tried once or twice, but the latches were small, and he kept fumbling with it. Rey started to drift away. It was almost soothing, to be taken care of. The numbness crept from her shoulder outward, through the rest of her body.

“Hang on. Stay with me.” He swore under his breath when a clasp refused to open. “Kriff it,” he muttered, then reached up to take off his helmet. “I can’t see in this thing.”  
Rey jerked to alertness as he removed the helmet and dropped it on top of his pack. She knew him. “Finn?”

He froze. “What?”

“Finn? Is that really you?” She was dreaming. She was dying. It was the only explanation. But his familiar face was right before her, lined in sweat and creased in a frown. “I was just thinking of you earlier . . .”. What a stupid thing to say. But her brain wasn’t working right.

He moved faster than she could have imagined, jumping upright and dropping the knife. An instant later, his blaster was in his hands. 

Pointed right at her. 

“I’m going to give you one more chance,” he said. His hands were only shaking a little. He was dead serious. 

“Wait, Finn--you don’t understand--”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to do this, but . . .”

“Finn, no! It’s me!” She managed to lift her right hand and shove off Azura’s mask, which clattered to the ground. “It’s Rey. Don’t shoot.”

For the second time, he went completely still. “Rey?”

Getting the mask off had taken all her energy. She lowered her head to the floor with a clunk. “Ow,” she said again, because there was nothing else to say. 

“Force, Rey, I didn’t know--I could’ve shot you!”

“You can put that away now,” she said, eyeing the blaster, still pointed at her face.

He looked at it with disgust and tossed it away, falling back to his knees. “What happened? Why are you--wait. Is this what Poe was talking about? Kriff, Rey, I knew you were crazy, but I never thought . . .”

“Can you focus on the part where I’m bleeding to death?”

His concerned eyes came into focus as he scanned her face. “What in the universe happened to you?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Yeah, I’m getting that.” His fingers were instantly busy, unclipping just enough of her jacket to pull it aside and inspect her shoulder injury. “And I’m guessing it involves blasters.”

“Sentinel droids.”

“I see.” His eyes shot to her face. He didn’t look confused anymore. He looked  _ knowing.  _

He knew exactly where she’d gone. 

“What are you doing out here?” she asked. 

“This is my assignment. Undercover in the 501st.” He didn’t meet her gaze as he applied a bundle of bandages to her shoulder wound.

“Seems like you’re a long way from the First Order.”

“From the Supreme Leader, you mean. Yeah. I can’t be seen by anyone who served under Hux or Kylo Ren. They’d recognize me.”

“So, what, Leia forged you some documents? And the First Order was all too happy to oblige?”

“It’s a long story,” he said drily.

Rey tried to reach for his leg, but missed. “Finn. Tell me honestly. Are you okay?”

He stopped, shifting back on his heels to look at her. Then he shook his head, a small smile on his face.

“What?”

“You just asked me if  _ I  _ was okay. And you’re the one bleeding out on the floor.”

“Well? Are you?”

“I’m living out in the middle of nowhere, pretending to be loyal to the people who brainwashed me. What do you think?”

Rey tried for his leg again and managed to reach his hand this time instead. Good enough. She gave it a squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

He squeezed back. “It’s okay. It’s for the right reasons.” He leaned forward and got back to work, pulling the bloody bandages off her injury to apply a bacta patch. “You, on the other hand . . .”

His words prodded at her. “What do you mean?”  _ I have the right reasons. Saving Leia. That’s all . . .  _

“You went in with no extraction. No nothing. Not even a kriffing lightsaber.” He shook his head again. “Are you serious, Rey? Your plan is, ‘don’t take off my mask and hope I don’t get caught’?”

“It’s working so far.”

“Doesn’t seem like that to me.” Bacta patch in place, he pulled out some antiseptic wipes and started swiping at the blood on her face--none too gently. 

“Do you ever--ow!--see anyone else around here?”

He paused. “You mean like locals? Sometimes.”

“Not locals.” She hesitated, wondering how much she could describe of her ghost friend before Finn called her crazy again. “Humans. Or, one human, actually. A man. Only there’s something--different--about him. He’s . . .” She waved her right hand. 

Finn raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“He’s . . . transparent. Like a ghost.”

“What?”

“Like a holoprojection,” she corrected hurriedly at the look on his face. 

He shook his head, wiping up the last of her dried blood. “Never seen anything like that. I don’t go inside.”

“Oh.”

He stowed the used med items back in his bag and turned to face her. “The bacta patch should help, but you need more than I can give you. We have to get you up to the  _ Explorer. _ ”

“What? No. I can’t go up there. I have to get back.”

“Back?” Finn’s mouth fell open. “ _ Back?  _ Rey, you can’t seriously be thinking of going back there.”

“Not the castle,” she said. “The  _ Finalizer. _ ”

He blinked at her. “Kylo Ren’s ship.”

“The ship where they have Leia,” Rey clarified. “She’s there, Finn. After this, they’ll trust me. I can get her out.”

“Are you insane? What happens when you get to medbay and they take your blood? Or when you need a new jacket because this one got  _ shot through? _ ”

“The med droid won’t say anything. And I’ll get a new jacket.”

“Rey. If they find out, they’ll  _ kill you. _ ”

“They won’t find out. I promise.” The bacta patch must be helping, because she was already feeling a bit stronger. She used the momentum to push herself upright, then slide forward onto her knees.

A rush of dizziness followed. Okay, not  _ that  _ strong. 

“Listen to me,” said Finn, his knees almost touching hers. He glanced over his shoulder as if someone else might be standing at the ramp, listening, but of course it was empty. When he turned back, his face was creased in a frown. “It’s not safe there, Rey. And not only because of your disguise. Hux is planning something. I don’t know when, but he’s going to try to overthrow Ren.”

“What?” Shock made Rey sway a little. “How do you know?”

“He’s been in touch with my commander for weeks now. Since before the treaty was announced. I don’t know the full picture, but the guys are saying he’s planning something big. A coup.”

“And your commander’s on his side?”

“Who cares? The important thing is that you don’t get caught in the middle.” Finn reached out and put his hand on her right shoulder, shaking her a little. Pain twinged through her surprise, jolting her awake. “Don’t do it, Rey. Come with me. We’ll keep the mask on while you get treatment, and then you can go meet up with the others at the rendezvous point.”

“And abandon Leia? Let Hux win? No, Finn.” She stood up, staggering a little, using her chair to stay upright. “You can’t stop me. I’m going back.”

“Why do you care so much about Hux?” he asked, standing also. His eyes were narrowed, suspicious. They saw a bit too much for her taste. 

“He’s a monster,” she said.

“So is Kylo Ren.” Finn stepped closer. “They’re one and the same, Rey. They’re rotten, like the rest of the First Order. Rotten from the inside out.”

“That’s not true!” Rey said. At the look of shock that crossed his face, she sucked in a deep breath. “That’s not true,” she repeated, more quietly this time. “What about your battalion? ‘The guys’?”

“That’s different. They were brainwashed, just like me.”

“It’s the same, Finn. There’s a chance for them. They might change their minds. Just like--” She bit her tongue. Images from her vision in the chamber flooded her memory.  _ The slide of skin on skin. The desire in Ben’s eyes. Her own ragged breathing. Those whom the Force has bound together . . .  _

“What are you saying, Rey?” Finn’s voice was so low she almost didn’t hear it. He was looking at her as if seeing her for the first time. 

She swallowed. “I don’t know. I don’t know anymore, Finn. I just want to stop fighting.”

He stared at her for a few moments longer. Then he sighed. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I want that, too.” He crossed the ship slowly and retrieved his blaster, storing it away. “But if you’re really going back there, you should know what you’re getting into.” 

“I do,” she lied. 

He picked up his pack next and slung it over his shoulders. His helmet he picked up last of all. He gave her one final unreadable look before slipping it over his head, becoming a stranger once more. “Then you should take this,” he said, his voice now modulated by the helmet. He pulled something off his wrist and handed it to her. 

“A comm link?”

“You said they would trust you now. That’s a direct link to Poe. If you’re going to get searched, just hold the red button on the back and it’ll self-destruct. But if you need him . . .”

Rey tucked it into her pocket, giving Finn a smile. “Thanks.”

He crossed the room in two quick strides and gave her a hug. It hurt, but she hugged him back anyway. No pain in the world would stop her from hugging her friend goodbye. Who knew how long they’d wait before seeing each other again?

For just a moment, Rey was tempted to change her mind.  _ Take me back with you.  _ She could find the Resistance, beg Poe’s forgiveness, get her next assignment. Build a new lightsaber. Leave the rescuing to someone else. 

But then Finn pulled away, and the moment passed. 

She knew what she had to do. 

#

**Several Hours Later**

“Supreme Leader.” The med droid sounded surprised, even a little worried. Kylo must look even worse than he felt. It’d been hours since his return from his mother’s cell, and his muscle aches had only gotten worse. “Where is the injury?”

“No injury,” said Kylo. “I just need something to help me sleep.”

The droid hesitated. “Perhaps we should check you anyway--”

They were interrupted by uneven footsteps from the hallway, heading into the medbay. Kylo turned a moment before Azura came in, half-carried between Nebarius and Zagan. The first thing he noticed was the smear of blood on her mask--as if she’d tried to wipe her eyes with bloody fingers. The second thing was the blood on the rest of her. She was positively dripping with it. 

It seemed an inappropriate time to mention just desserts. 

“Bed two,” said the med droid, abandoning Kylo. Zagan and Nebarius laid her down, blood smearing across their black leathers and against the white sheets of the bed. She moaned. “Get her mask off.”

“No!” She struggled to sit upright, but Zagan and Nebarius held her down. “ _ Don’t you dare. _ ”

“In order to treat you--” the droid began.

“Treat the kriffing blaster wound in my shoulder,” she said through gritted teeth. “Before I give  _ you _ one.”

Zagan snorted. “Okay. She’s going to be fine.”

Nebarius didn’t seem so sure. He glanced up at Kylo, his blue eyes full of worry. There was beseechment in that glance as well. A cry for help. 

Internally, Kylo sighed before stepping closer. “Do as she says,” he told the droid. “But cut her out of the jacket if you have to. Nebarius, go to her quarters and bring her back something to wear. Zagan, get back to your post. We’ll take it from here.”

“But, my lord--?”

“Unless you’d prefer to spend the next few weeks cleaning floors with the janitorial crew?”

“With all this blood, we’re going to have to.”

“Excellent,” said Kylo, standing over him. “Thanks for volunteering.”

Zagan muttered something that sounded like a curse under his breath before backing away. 

“I’ll be right back,” said Nebarius, hurrying after Zagan. The droid left the bedside to gather equipment and call for assistance.

Kylo and Azura were alone.

He hesitated, then sat on the edge of her bed, careful not to touch or jostle her. Despite everything, she was one of his Knights. She’d made it back alive. If Dantalion was right, destiny had spoken. 

“Why are you in here?” she asked, her voice low and scratchy. 

“Headache,” he said. Normally he would have made something else up, but the truth came out against his better judgment. “Can’t sleep,” he clarified.

“Oh.” Was she studying him, beneath that mask? Azura had always been an afterthought to him, but now, for some reason, he felt glued to the bed. Avoiding her gaze, his eyes drifted to her shoulder wound. Her jacket was partly open, but all he could see was a mess of bacta patch and blood. 

“Sentinel droids?” he asked.

She nodded. “Two of them. They’re dead now.”

He would’ve expected no less. The castle was crawling with them. More would come out of the shadows to replace those who were lost. The castle protected itself that way, like some kind of living creature made of metal and stone. Kylo tensed at the memory of it. Despite its power, it was not a place he wanted to go back to. 

Azura’s head lay back against the stack of pillows now, unmoving. He wondered if she’d passed out. “Well done,” he said, feeling awkward for a reason he couldn’t explain. 

She shifted. Then, slowly, she lifted her hand from the bed, as if she were reaching for him. He stared at it coming closer. Before she could touch him, he stood.

Her hand fell back to the blankets. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m not . . .”

“You’re unwell,” said Kylo quickly, stepping away. “Droid!”

“I’m here, Supreme Leader.” The med droid quickly shooed him out of the way. It seemed as good a moment as any to slip from the room. 

When he was out in the hall, he ran into Nebarius, holding a bundle of black cloth in his hands.

“What is it?” Nebarius asked, searching Kylo’s face. He paled. “She’s not--?”

“She’s fine,” Kylo snapped. “Tell her to rest tonight. In the morning, I expect a full report.”

It wasn’t until he was back in his quarters that Kylo realized he hadn’t even gotten his sleeping draught. But it didn’t matter. 

His headache had gone away. 

#

From the moment he returned to the medbay, Nebarius refused to let go of Rey until she was sitting on the mattress in her quarters. Correction: Azura’s quarters. Despite all the black and gray and cold steel, no bed had even been more comfortable. “Trust me, Nebarius. I’ll be fine.”

“Remember, I put your tonic right there if you wake up.” He pointed to the bedside table, his forehead creased in a frown.

“I’ll remember,” said Rey. “You can go.”

“And if you need anything--”

“Nebarius!”

“--you know where to reach me.” He paused at the door. “Sorry, I have to do it. Dantalion will come back and eviscerate me if I don’t.”

Rey shifted. “He’s not here?”

“Sent out on assignment.” Nebarius gave her a knowing look. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Right,” said Nebarius, winking at her. “It’s good to have you back.” Then he turned and slipped out the door. 

When he was gone, Rey gathered her energy one more time to stand on her own. She crossed the room and locked the door, each step jostling the bacta patches coating her shoulder. Then she went to Azura’s closet. 

The leather combination Nebarius brought for her was fitting for Azura’s aesthetic, but absolutely hellish against her wound. Not to mention the fact that Ben could connect with her at any time.

_ Ben.  _ What had she been thinking, reaching for him like that? Only he was  _ right there _ , so close and warm and quiet. And she hated to think that he’d been in pain. She’d done it without thinking--like everything else lately. She shook her head, shuffling over to Azura’s closet. She would have to be more careful. 

But as Rey shucked off the leather, her mind lingered again on the visions she’d seen on Mustafar. How  _ real  _ they’d felt. When she saw Ben in the medbay, it was as if they’d already shared that tender embrace. Standing naked, she shivered as the cool air lifted goosebumps on her warm skin.

_ Those whom the Force has bound together.  _

What did it mean?

Rey shook her head. The pain medicine was making her sleepy. She could think it over tomorrow, right after she came up with a plan to save Leia.

Satisfied, Rey focused on finding something to wear while she slept. After some digging, she managed to find some loose-fitting dark blue clothing that looked as if it had never been worn. It slid silky and cool against her skin. Ripping off the mask was her final satisfaction. She could wash the rest of the blood off her face later. The lure of the bed was too much to resist.

But no sooner had she crawled under the blankets then the tug in her chest jolted her awake.

Had it always been that strong, like an electric shock? She turned over, careful to make sure her clothes covered her bandages. Ben blinked at her from beside the bed.

“Hello,” she said. 

His face turned white. In an instant, he was sitting on the bed beside her, his hip hitting hers through the blankets. “Kriffing hells, Rey.”

“What?”

“Who did this to you?” He loosely cupped her cheeks and shifted her left and right, inspecting the blood smeared on her cheeks. His jaw clenched. “I’ll kill them.”

“Too late,” she said ruefully. “I already did.”

Surprise, then pride, swept across his features. He seemed to realize he was holding her and quickly let her go. “Well,” he said, scooting away a little. “It’s still a problem. Why do you let them do this to you?”

“Who?” She was confused. The medicine was slowing her down and getting stronger all the time. But also, _Ben._ His presence filled her senses, drowning out the little voice that said, _Remember when you were going to be more careful?_ She let herself sink even closer to him, blissfully aware of the tiny square of hip that touched his. A small line appeared between his eyes. _Good, so he’s confused too._

“The Resistance,” he said slowly. “They keep sending you to die, even after . . .”

“Even after what, Ben?”

“The treaty,” he said. “I signed it so the fighting would end.”

She blinked up at him. His hair had fallen over his face, masking his eyes. She didn’t like that. She wanted to see him. She reached up and pushed his hair out of the way.

He stared back, wide-eyed and startled. “What are you doing?”

“You signed the treaty for me,” she said, realizing it right then. “To save me.”

He lifted a gloved hand and took hold of her wrist, untangling her fingers from his hair. But when he brought her wrist to his lap, he didn’t let go. His fingers were so long--or her wrist so thin--his middle finger overlapped his thumb. “Not exactly,” he said.

“You did!” She sat up, ignoring the twinge of pain in her shoulder, so that she was facing him. “You did it for me. Admit it.”

He gritted his teeth. “Rey . . .”

“After Azura. After the time I almost died.” She spoke half in awe, half in understanding. She remembered how scared he’d been at the idea of her death.  _ He cares about me.  _ She’d recognized it then, and she felt it now. 

He said nothing. But he wasn’t taking his hand from her arm. She smiled, unable to stop herself. He didn’t return it--it was still Ben, after all--but something changed in his face as he stared at her, his eyes sharpening with hunger.

Rey’s helpful, medicated brain supplied her vision from Mustafar all too readily. She could practically taste the salt from his skin on her tongue. Her face heated as the sensation of his lips on her neck rose to her mind. She remembered the way his hard back felt beneath her gripping fingers. 

“Ben?” she whispered.

“Yes?” he asked softly.

“What does it mean to be . . . bound by the Force?” She lost courage right at the end and couldn’t meet his eyes.

He was silent for a long time. Then he said, “Who told you?”

_ Kriff.  _ She couldn’t exactly say ‘Mustafar.’ “I overheard it.” Technically not a lie.

His hair fell over his face again as he glanced away. “A Force bond is a--a link. Between two Force sensitives. You can transmit things--feelings--” He stuttered to a halt. “Isn’t there anyone in the Resistance who knows something about this? Go ask them.” He started to remove his hand from her wrist.

Rey grabbed his hand so he would stay, tangling their fingers. “I’m not asking them,” Rey said. “I’m asking you.”

He hid his surprise well, but as she scanned his features, she picked up small signs of it. His eyes were wide, his pupils dark. His pulse jumped at his neck. It would be so easy to lean forward and plant a kiss right there . . . to taste the adrenaline rushing through his veins, so similar to her own . . .

He swallowed. She watched his throat bob up and down. “A Force bond is exactly what it sounds like, Rey.”

She shivered when he said her name. “And Snoke . . .?”

“Took advantage of what was already there. Tried to claim credit.” His tone turned self-effacing. “It was his usual way of manipulating people. Make them second-guess what they know is true.”

“So--wait, you knew?”

Something flashed in his eyes. “Of course. From the moment I saw you.”

Rey’s heart leapt in her chest. How could he say that so matter-of-factly, as if he weren’t turning her universe inside out? “You mean, on Takodana? You knew back then . . . and you didn’t tell me?”

“Sorry I couldn’t get a word in between your attempts to kill me,” he said drily.

“That’s not true.” Rey pulled her hand free, tucking it safely in the blankets that had fallen to her lap. “You know it isn’t. You had plenty of chances--”

“And what would it have changed?” he threw at her, pulling his hand back as well. He ran it through his hair, mussing the thick waves. “You already know the answer.  _ Nothing. _ ”

“No . . .” Rey said, but her voice came out weaker than she’d hoped. He was right. Even if she’d known what she knew now, she wouldn’t have changed her mind in the forest. She wouldn’t have accepted his offer in the throne room. They would still be exactly where they were right now.

Only her heart might hurt a little less, because she might have tried to protect it more.

Something else occurred to her at the realization. “Wait. When I told you to end this between us, you said you would try.”

He looked a bit sullen, but he nodded. 

“How does that work?”

“I don’t know.” His eyes drifted away. “I hope to have an answer soon.”

“But . . . you  _ still  _ weren’t going to tell me what it was? Even then?”

“You had your chance to learn about the Force from me,” he said, resentment in his voice. 

“I had a right to know.” She shifted, moving from seated to her knees, so that their knees knocked together. He looked a bit startled by her movement. Through the medicine-induced haze, she was  _ angry.  _ “I’m part of this, too. It’s affects me. You should have told me what you knew--”

“First you tell me to leave you alone. Now you want me to answer your questions.” His voice was low and hard, emotion threaded beneath it. His steady, tormented gaze burned a path to her soul. “What do you want from me, Rey?”

She stared, breathing heavily. What did she want? Her brain was all too quick to answer:

_ She wanted his teeth nipping at her lips. She wanted his hands gripping her shoulders. She wanted him to feel as much at her mercy as she did at his, right now . . . _

Without thinking, she leaned forward, closed her eyes, and brushed her lips against his.

He made a low sound of surprise as their lips met. Rey pressed harder, reveling in the softness and warmth of the contact. She had never kissed anyone before, and she didn’t expect the strangeness--the smoothness, the slide as his lips opened under hers. She dug deeper, slipping her tongue past his lips, and she felt herself falling forward off her knees. The momentum carried her into him, and he had no choice but to lift his arms and steady her. 

“Ben,” she whispered against his lips, and his hands spasmed against her. One came up and tangled in her hair, the other curling around her waist. Her body sensitized in exactly those places, until she thought his gloves were burning holes through her clothes.

She pulled back, just enough to get a glimpse of his face. His eyes were black and heavy-lidded, stunned. His lips parted slightly, and her gaze drifted down to them. “I’m sor--” she started to say, before he leaned forward and caught her lips in his once again.

The strength of his kiss pushed her back toward the bed this time, and he landed on top of her. She snaked her hands up around his shoulders and ran her fingers into his hair. It was just as silken and soft as she’d imagined it to be. When she squeezed slightly, he moaned into her lips. 

Her body pricked to alertness at the sound. 

His weight was everywhere, but just like in her vision, she felt safe in the cage of his arms. She shifted, and his leg went between hers. The barest brush of his thigh between her legs made her body jerk.

At the same time, a thrill of something strange yet distantly familiar went through her. It was like a spike of adrenaline, but somehow even more powerful. Her pulse started to race. She shifted, arching up to feel that again--

And Ben pulled back so abruptly he sat on her feet, both pinning her in place and making it impossible to follow his movement.

She sat up and stared at him, breathing hard. Her lips throbbed. Her body was on fire. But at the shock on his face, her blood started to cool in her veins. He was pale beneath his scar, a sure sign that she had surprised him. But more importantly, he was unreadable. He was fitting his careful mask back into place. 

Then she saw his hands were shaking.

“Ben . . .” she began, keeping her voice as even as she could. She had to explain. Had to apologize. But she couldn’t get the words out--

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, jumping to his feet. He took a step away from her, as if she would lunge at him from the bed. She watched with a sick feeling in her gut as he searched for words. “It was . . .” He swallowed. “It won’t happen again.”

And she _ felt him  _ reach out and snip the cord between them. 

She was alone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to the [501st Legion](https://www.501st.com/)  
> Also, the black armor in the First Order's elite stormtrooper battalion is inspired by the [Shadow Troopers](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Shadow_trooper)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	11. Act Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, my lovely readers, for sticking with me! You are my favorite people in the galaxy. Shout out to **TwilightStarss** for absolutely making my day with your comments. I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> I'm posting with airplane WiFi on my way to India, which is why this is a day late and a bit shorter than planned. I'm sorry! I will make it up to you with an extra long chapter next time. Lots of plot is about to thicken... and other things too... muahahaha.
> 
> Enjoy!

Kylo paced his room, his ears ringing with panic. Every few steps, he pinched his forearm, trying to feel something real. Reminding himself that he was awake.

He hadn’t been dreaming.

_Rey had really kissed him._

He closed his eyes, seeing again her face as she pulled away. Lips slightly parted, eyes wide, cheeks stained a faint red from her blush. Oh, and from the dried blood on her freckles. That, too. It made him tremble with rage.

Yes, rage. That was the feeling burning through him, turning his bones to jelly.

 _She almost died,_ a part of him said. _Again._

But a larger part said, _She kriffing kissed you._

He could still taste her on his tongue--bright and warm and sweet, like the rich desserts they used to serve at state dinners in his half-remembered life on Coruscant. His hands flexed instinctively, remembering the contours of her waist, the tangle of her hair.

But then she stopped. She started to apologize.

And he had gone and kissed her back.

“Kriff, kriff, kriff,” he said, running a hand through his hair. The pacing wasn’t helping. He felt full of something uncontainable, and any moment, he would explode. Not like a small bomb. Like a star going supernova.

Shaking, he ripped off his gloves and overtunic, dropping them on the floor. His lightsaber was in his hand in a second. He needed to work, to sweat, to get so tired he’d sleep through the morning.

He needed to block this out.

Because that was what she wanted from him, right?

 _Of course it is,_ said the traitorous remnant of Snoke’s voice. _How could you think anything different?_

Of course she’d been about to apologize. Of course she didn’t want him to kiss her again.

Just the thought of “again” brought more possible scenarios to mind. What would that spot in the crook of her neck taste like? Would the skin of her waist feel warm against the tips of his fingers? His grip tightened around his lightsaber, and his cock hardened in answer. What would it feel like to . . . ?

The surge of desire that went through him was frightening in its intensity.

He couldn’t let it control him.

But even as he started going through his opening exercises, he knew he wouldn’t sleep that night.

#

**The Next Morning**

Rey woke up, turned over, and groaned.

Her body knew nothing but pain. Breathing made her chest ache, and when she sat up and lifted her shirt gingerly, she saw that her ribs were black and blue. At some point in the rolling and dropping and climbing yesterday, she must have injured them. And they had nothing on her shoulder.

Stiffly, she rose from the bed and started toward the fresher. Her head was in a fog, compounded by a dull throbbing. It wasn’t until she was beneath the hot water that the rest of the previous day returned to her.

The medicine.

The Force Bond.

_Ben._

Rey yelped and slammed off the water, trying to catch her breath. He was here. He knew they were bonded. She kissed him.

And _he kissed her back._

She raised dripping fingers to her lips, remembering the strange sensation of his tongue against hers. In the cooling air, she shivered, but her skin grew hot as the images returned. Her hands clutching his hair. His answering groan. The way his leg fitted between hers, kneeing her thighs apart. The responding wetness at her core, the yearning--

She flipped the water back on again and turned it as cold as it could go.

Even so, it wasn’t until she was shivering and dressed, pinning up her wet hair with one hand, that she let go of the desire. And that was only because she remembered Ben’s face at the end. He’d leapt away from her, his skin white, and he’d said--what had he said?

_It won’t happen again._

Talk about dousing the fire.

“He’s right, though,” she said out loud, busying herself with finding the clothes Nebarius had picked out the day before. She caught a glimpse of herself in Azura’s wall mirror, hair dripping, features shell-shocked. “No more kissing,” she told her reflection, and tried not to notice when the girl in the mirror looked disappointed.

After she methodically finished dressing, she found the bloody bundle of yesterday’s suit and pulled out the commlink Finn had given her from its hidden pocket. She might need it. After all, she had a mission. _Find Leia. Get her out._

She didn’t have time for other distractions.

As Rey slid her mask into place, she tried to imagine it as a wall between her rational brain and the wave of emotion building just beyond. If Ben was so good at cutting off--whatever it was he was feeling, then two could play at that game.

_Simple._

So why did her chest still ache, and not from the bruises?

Rey pushed the thought aside as best she could before opening her door.

Nebarius stood on the other side, poised to ring in. “Thank Izax.” He let out a relieved breath. “You didn’t die.”

“No,” said Rey.

“And you got dressed by yourself and everything.” He scanned her up and down.

“What were you going to do, dress me?”

Horror flashed in his blue eyes. “Kriff, no. I treasure all four of my limbs, thanks.”

“So . . .?” Rey prompted.

“I’m here to take you to Master Ren. He wants a report on your mission.”

Rey hoped Nebarius didn’t notice her sudden jerk at the sound of Ben’s name. “My mission. Of course.”

After retrieving the holocron and locking her quarters, she followed him down the hall to an elevator. As they waited in silence, Rey felt Nebarius’s eyes on her, but she ignored him. She drew instead on all her remaining willpower to calm her chaotic thoughts. _Be calm. Act normal._

_Don’t think about kissing him._

She repeated it to herself until the elevator came.

When they arrived at their floor, they were immediately absorbed into the traffic of the hallway. Uniforms and stormtroopers were everywhere--brushing Rey’s elbows, giving her curious looks as she and Nebarius marched past. At any other time, the activity would have unnerved her, but for a brief moment, she welcomed the chance to be lost in something bigger. To become anonymous. She longed to be following that passing mechanic, for example, and going to work on some broken wires as opposed to facing--

“He’s in here,” said Nebarius, stopping outside a huge set of double blast doors. _Kriff._ Located as it was in the midst of the traffic, this room must be somewhere important. Rey hesitated.

“It’s okay,” Nebarius said. “I’ll come in with you, but I don’t think he’s angry anymore.” 

“Don’t be so sure,” said Rey under her breath. Nebarius crooked an eyebrow at her, but said nothing as he punched them in.

The doors slid open to reveal a wide, high-ceilinged, octagonal room. Rey and Nebarius’s footsteps rang out across the black stone floor as they crossed the threshold. Stone, not durasteel--this was someplace special. Thick curtains of black with the First Order symbol embroidered in red hung from ceiling to floor along each of the eight walls. And at the center of the room, Rey saw what made this room so important.

A throne.

Built of a lighter stone than the floor--slate gray--the throne rose straight and high-backed behind the slumped form of its occupant. It was too big for him, obviously uncomfortable, the kind of throne that prized ostentation over usefulness. But then, weren’t all thrones that way?

Ben glanced up, and Rey froze.

The shadows under his eyes hinted at a sleepless night. His hair was tousled and wet at the tips, straight from the fresher. She thought she could even smell a hint of crisp woodsiness in the air--his soap? She pulled her mind away from that mental image with an effort. He wore his usual black ensemble: long-sleeved tunic, black pants, black boots. He was a shadow with drawn human features, his shoulders weighted by invisible burdens.

Rey’s mind supplied the word: _regret._

She sank to her knees to hide her confusion, even though the mask would do that perfectly well all by itself. Her kiss made him look like _that?_

Nebarius knelt at her side also. “My lord. I’ve brought Azura for her report.”

“Report?” Ben sounded distant, distracted. When Rey risked another glance at him, he had his chin propped on his hand. His gloved fingers tapped his lips, almost impatiently. She flushed beneath her mask. She knew what those lips felt like . . .

It suddenly occurred to her to wonder whether Ben had ever kissed anyone before. A streak of hot, unexpected emotion went through her at the thought. She clenched her fists at her sides.

From his place on the throne, Ben ran a single finger over his bottom lip distractedly. It was a tic, a nervous habit, that was all. But Rey found every iota of her attention focused on that finger all the same.

“The report. From her latest mission.” Confusion clouded Nebarius’s tone. “The one you asked me for last night.”

“Right. Of course.” Ben dropped his hand. Rey fought off a twinge of disappointment. “The holocron.”

“I have it here.” She braced herself, and when his eyes cut to where she knelt, a thrill went through her. She dug in her pocket and held the holocron out to him, hoping he didn’t notice the tremble in her hand.

“It’s not open,” he said, his lips flattening.

“I can’t open it. Not alone. That is . . .” Rey caught herself. “It has to be opened by a Force bonded pair.”

 Silence.

Nebarius shifted beside her. She heard the rustle of his leathers against the stone floor. His knees were probably getting uncomfortable, just as hers were. But she hadn’t even noticed before that moment. She’d been too distracted by Ben.  

She tried not to analyze that too closely.

“I see,” said Ben at last. “And you know this . . . how?”

“I saw a vision,” she said. “In the—the chamber.” _Our bodies sliding together, intertwined. Your skin on my skin._ Rey swallowed.

Ben’s lips flattened even further. A muscle popped in his jaw. “Very well. Give it to me.” He held out a gloved hand.

Rey stood very slowly. Her knees—her whole body—protested the movement as she approached him. Even her breath caught in her lungs. When she was a foot from the dais where he sat, she paused.

 “Well?” he snapped. His skin was even paler from up close, tinged with blue shadows. Just looking at him made a wave of matching exhaustion wash over her soul.

 _Are you going to open it?_ She longed to ask. _Are you going to end this?_

She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

He held his hand even closer, and she couldn’t help remembering a similar moment in a different throne room somewhere else in the galaxy, many months before. How she longed then to take his hand, knowing she couldn’t. How she longed now to throw the holocron as far away as she could.

Knowing she shouldn’t.

She reached out and dropped the holocron into his waiting palm. For half a moment, she thought she saw it lighting up red as it had in the chamber on Mustafar. Then Ben’s fingers wrapped around it, hiding it from view.

“Thank you,” he said, but it sounded like a curse. An insult.

“I . . .” she started, not even sure what she was going to say.

At that moment, Nebarius cleared his throat behind her, and a second later, the door slid open. Rey turned to find Hux, Hela, and Abraxas Ren marching in. She backed away from the dais, moving to the side as Abraxas and Hela knelt.

“You may stand,” said Ben, sounding annoyed. “You too, Nebarius.”

 “Thank Izax,” Nebarius muttered under his breath to Rey. “My knees were starting to go numb.”

“What’s going on?” Ben asked the others. “Abraxas, why aren’t you at your post?”

“General Hux wishes to register a complaint, my lord.” The large Knight’s voice boomed around the room.

“Just one?” Ben’s smile was crooked and bitter. “It must be my lucky day.”

Hux drew himself up, sucking in a breath that made his nostrils flare. “There has been some kind of mistake, my lord. This . . . _Knight . . ._ tells me that I am unauthorized to visit the prisoner.”

Rey’s attention sharpened. _Leia._

“That’s correct, General,” said Ben. His voice was calm, unreadable, but Rey detected a slight twitch in his right eye at Hux’s words.

“But—this is an outrage. I have the highest security clearance on this vessel!”

“Second-highest. I believe you’ll find the Supreme Leader outranks you.”

“Then it’s true?” Hux snarled. “You’ve revoked all visitation save your own?”

“Yes,” said Ben.

“Then we have truly sunk low,” said Hux, stepping forward. Abraxas and Hela took a subtle step forward to match, and by the scowl on Abraxas’s face, it wasn’t for the sake of symmetry. “We’ve had multiple chances to crush the Resistance,” Hux continued, his eyes bulging with anger. “And your _leniency_ allows them to escape every time. It’s as I feared. Our Supreme Leader is compromised. Your _personal interests—“_

Ben’s expression could destroy galaxies. Even Rey shivered when he asked, “What about my personal interests, General?”

“Whatever Snoke thought, your family history was the biggest open secret in the First Order,” Hux threw back. “And don’t even get me started on the Jedi—”

Ben leapt upright from the throne, his hand outstretched, his fingers crooked, and Hux was so startled he staggered back. His hands reached for his throat, but Ben wasn’t choking him.

Not yet.          

Rey took half a step forward despite herself. The look on Ben’s face—murderous rage didn’t even come close to describing it. She felt an answering anger swelling in herself without fully understanding why. All she knew was that her every cell cried out for her to stop it.

She caught herself before running at him. Fortunately, the tension between Ben and Hux was so high in that moment that none of the Knights seemed to notice.

“You will put out a general announcement across all ranks,” Ben said, advancing on Hux. His voice brooked no argument. “You will remind everyone on board that the prisoner is not to be touched. You will do this personally. You will do this _tonight._ ”

“I—” Hux swallowed, watching Ben’s hand for a sign of movement. When he found himself still able to breathe, his eyes flicked back to Ben’s. “You walk a dangerous line, Ren. Rest assured I’m not the only one who notices.” With that, he straightened, assuming as much dignity as he could with his hair askew from his frantic retreat from the dais. A cold glance around the room was his final parting shot before he turned on his heels and exited the room.

Silence reigned as the door slid shut behind him.

“ _Now_ may I kill him?” Hela asked.

Rey’s mouth fell open. Fortunately, her mask hid her response from the others. She was beginning to understand why Azura never took the thing off.

“No,” said Ben, but he didn’t sound angry. Just tired. “Abraxas, get back to Leia. Make sure she’s watched around the clock.”

Rey saw an opportunity. “I can join the rotation, my lord.” When he glanced sharply her way, she added, “If you need me.”

 “No. I need you with Hela on Hux’s personal guard. Try to find out who is most sympathetic to him.” He went back to his throne and sat down heavily, running a hand through his hair. For that brief moment, he was nothing more than a tired young man trying to lead from a throne that didn’t fit. “He’s going to try something soon.”

“No one will support him, my lord,” said Abraxas. “He’s a weak-bellied fool.”

To Rey’s surprise, Ben’s lips lifted. It was the closest thing to a normal smile she’d ever seen from him. “Thanks. I appreciate the effort. But we shouldn’t underestimate him. There are many in the First Order who agree with him, I’m sure.”

 “Not amongst the troops,” said Nebarius suddenly, stepping forward. “From what I’ve heard at mealtimes, there are plenty who were glad to see the treaty signed. They’re tired of fighting and dying for the men in uniform.”

 “That’s right,” said Abraxas, nodding. “I’ve heard that, too.”

“Well. As long as the rank-and-file troopers are with us . . .” Ben’s smile twisted into something more sarcastic and familiar. “That’s good enough. We’ll meet soon. You’re dismissed.”

Rey hesitated as the others filed out. Ben was touching his lip again, staring at the wall with unfocused eyes. His index finger slid back and forth, back and forth. A crease formed between his brows. What was going through his mind?     

“Coming?” asked Hela from the doorway.

Rey forced herself to turn around and leave him behind. And if she ran her tongue over her lips as she did so, the mask hid it from everyone but her.

#

Kylo caught himself with his finger on his lips for the fifth time that day as the doors slid shut on Hela and Azura. He lowered his hand to the arm of his throne, staring at the stone beneath. The thing was blasted uncomfortable, and his body ached more than ever after his night of vigorous training and little sleep.

And none of it had done anything to keep Rey off his mind.

First, he’d all but forgotten about Azura and her mission. Then, he’d wanted nothing more than to eject the holocron into wild space when he remembered what it was capable of. Now that he knew the means to opening it, he detested it more than ever. And when Hux had mentioned her—Kylo’s heart stuttered at the memory.

He was a fool.

And yet . . .

As if the thought would summon her, he glanced up, but the room was still empty. His chest ached for the not-so-subtle tug that meant she stood before him. Even if all she did was tell him that she’d made a terrible mistake. Yes, even that would be better than nothing, if it meant she was here . . .

Perhaps then he could forget the feel of her lips on his.

Perhaps then he could sleep at night.

An idea occurred to him then that was both intoxicating and terrifying. Up until that point, he had never tried to manipulate the bond. When their “connections,” as Rey called them, had occurred, it was always by chance. By the will of the Force. But if the Force bond was indeed a way to communicate—to transmit thoughts and feelings—then of course those within the bond should be able to use it as such. Like an advanced comm link, of a sort.

Which meant Rey was only a ping away.

Kylo’s fingers twitched as he considered this. The idea of being able to reach for her, just like that, and have her appear—it was even more frighteningly exhilarating that his desire had been that morning. It was _dangerous._

But he was stretching out with the Force before he’d even decided to try.

The image of her, forehead creased in concentration as she studied him, came immediately to mind. He could practically smell the citrus scent of her, taste the sweetness of her tongue. And the sparks of power that came from her Force signature—he could feel those, too, the way they flecked out from her like embers from a fire, singeing him if he got too close. She was a blaze of power and beauty and, contradictorily, softness.

He thought perhaps that vulnerability was most dangerous of all.

But he didn’t have time to linger on the realization. Far more quickly than he’d have imagined, he could sense her—the real her, not just his vision of her. He felt a click of familiarity, and then a brief flare of panic, and then—

Nothing.

He felt nothing.

It was like the connection had been snipped off, leaving him with a cut ribbon fluttering in empty air. He understood immediately what that meant. After all, he’d done it to her just the night before.

She felt him reach for her, and she chose not to answer.

Kylo’s head fell back against his throne with a clunk that echoed around the room. Faintly, he registered that it hurt, but the pain was nothing to the betrayal spiraling through him. And yet, what did he expect? Of course she didn’t want to see him.

She regretted kissing him, naturally.

Avoiding him was her way of telling him so.

A few moments earlier, he’d thought hearing that from her would help him forget it. Instead, he found his mind replaying ever instant of their kiss, every flick of her tongue against his, in painful detail.

The irony was not lost on him. Nor was the bitter truth.

He’d had his single taste of her.

It was never going to happen again.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nebarius is from Zakuul and worships the old gods hence his willingness to take [Izax's](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Izax) name in vain
> 
> Side note on Ben thinking that the Force was controlling his every conversation with Rey prior to this: he doesn't know that Rey actually called out to him once. The rest of the time, though, I like to think that the Force connected them when they needed each other. (And yeah, that included one time when Rey was in the fresher. The Force is kinky. Lol. New tag?)
> 
> Also... don't worry, Ben's little misapprehension will be corrected shortly. ;)


	12. Happy to Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first... I'M SO SORRY!!
> 
> This chapter was meant to be out much earlier, but then an exchange fic that was supposed to be 1,000 words became 20,000 plus. Classic mistake. ([Here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17131292/chapters/40289480) it is if you're interested...)
> 
> /shameless self promotion
> 
> OKAY. Now, regarding this fic, I will be back to posting each Wednesday from here on. Thank you for sticking with me thus far, and I hope you enjoy!

Rey tripped and stumbled against the wall of the busy hallway, panic buzzing through her. Ben had just reached for her through their Force bond.

_Ben_ _,_ who was a mere blast door away.

Had she allowed him in, he would have seen her as Azura, mask and all, and her disguise would be ruined. It was only at the last second that she threw up her walls and blocked him out.

She waited, hands trembling, for him to reach out again, but nothing happened. A passing Stormtrooper knocked against her injured shoulder, and she didn’t even notice the pain.

“What’s wrong?” asked Hela, circling back through the traffic to pause beside Rey.

“Nothing.” The word came out weak and croaky.

“I heard about Mustafar.” Hela’s mask moved up and down as she inspected Rey. Dark and oval, with two rectangles of silver as eyescreens and intricate scrollwork in place of a mouth, the mask made Hela’s expression impossible to read. “What the hell did you do?”

“I’m sorry?” Rey’s voice sounded normal again, but it would probably take another hour for her pulse to come down.

“To get sent there,” Hela clarified. “It must’ve been something really bad.” She cocked her head. “Please tell me you slept with Hux.”

Rey choked on a sputtering cough. Across the busy hallway, two women in uniform gave her questioning glances. “Why would you--I would never--”

“Really?” Hela looked to the middle distance, then shrugged. “I might consider it. Hate sex can be very satisfying.”

Ben’s kiss from the night before came vividly to Rey’s mind. She shook her head to clear the thought. “I did _not_ sleep with Hux.”

“Fine. I believe you. But that means . . .” Hela crossed her arms. “Tell me you didn’t.”

“What?” Even with their masks in between, Rey could _feel_ Hela’s judgmental stare.

“I told you not to. But did you listen? No.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about--”

“At least tell me she’s still alive.” Hela dropped her arms. “What am I saying? Of course she’s alive. You wouldn’t be standing here if she weren’t.”

Rey’s breath caught in her throat. Another cold bath of fear poured over her.

_Did_ _Hela_ _know_ _her_ _true_ _identity_ _?_

Rey scanned the hall, seeking an exit. She was surrounded by First Order troopers with a handful of uniforms thrown in. Many of them were armed, and she had only the smattering of blades hidden in her suit. An escape certainly wouldn’t be pretty, but they weren’t going to take her lying down.

Just as Rey was getting ready to crouch, Hela said, “What’s she like?”

“Who?” Rey’s heart stuttered in her chest.

“The Jedi. Is she . . . you know . . .” Hela flicked her head toward the throne room doors. “Worthy?”

Relief came hard upon the panic, and Rey leaned against the wall once more for support. “The Jedi. Of course.”

“The one you tried to kill,” said Hela drily, “because apparently you’ve lost the small amount of sanity I believed you to possess. That Jedi.”

“Right. Her.” Rey glanced over Hela’s shoulder, where Abraxas and Nebarius were waiting for the elevator at the end of the hall. Through the crowd of people in between, she caught glimpses of their curious expressions. Hux was nowhere to be seen. “If you’re asking about her fighting abilities, she’s . . . capable.” It was strange to talk about herself, but that assessment seemed fair. She thought of the blood she’d drawn from Azura with a small flash of un-Jedi-like pride.

“Her fighting abilities?” Hela sounded lost. “No. I meant, is she worthy of Master Ren’s attentions?”

Rey nearly choked on her breath again. “His _attentions_?”

“Hux is right, you know. I hate saying that sentence and never will again, but it’s true. We all know Lord Ren’s in love with her.”

Rey almost slid down the wall as her knees turned to liquid. “What did you say?”

“Did you damage your mask on Mustafar? You might want to get the hearing device checked.” Hela started walking toward the elevator, completely unaware of the fact that she’d just shaken Rey’s world to its core. “Anyway, you can give me the details later. I have a new blade to test out. Training room tonight after our shift?”

#

“Are you all right, your highness? You seem distracted.”

Kylo jerked to attention. “What?”

The holoprojected Dantalion crossed his arms before Kylo’s throne. “I knew it. Something’s wrong.”

“All that’s wrong is your report,” Kylo snapped back. Why did his Knights have to be so damned perceptive? “I thought you were tracking down the Resistance, not gallivanting about with pirates and smugglers. Or are you looking for a change of pace?”

“Why? Afraid you’ll miss me?” Dantalion grinned, his teeth showing blue from the projection.

“I don’t have time for this, Dantalion.”

“You say that so often, and yet here we are.” Speculation crept into Dantalion’s voice. “Are you finding so little to do on the _Finalizer_?”

_Avoid Leia. Avoid Rey._ Kylo’s to-do list was getting shorter all the time. As if he suspected this, a curious glint shone in Dantalion’s eyes. It was far too close to amusement for Kylo’s liking. “That’s no concern of yours.”

“So, yes, then?” Dantalion heaved a sigh so large it was surely exaggerated. “Your highness, I keep telling you. Get to know the troopers. Once they know you as I do, they can hardly fail to worship you.”

“Is _that_ what you’re doing? I thought you were annoying me.”

Dantalion’s grin only widened. “I’m hurt. You know I’m your most loyal servant.” He gave an elaborate bow to emphasize his words.

"I’m afraid that title is reserved for someone who actually does what I tell them to do.”

Dantalion made a face. “How terribly boring. But just in case you’re referring to Nebarius . . .” He cleared his throat. “I have reason to suspect these smugglers are supplying weapons to the Resistance. I told them I need work, and they agreed to take me on their next job.”

Kylo sat forward on his throne. His tired muscles protested, but he hardly noticed. “Really?”

“Yes.” Dantalion turned smug. “Good, right?”

Kylo sat back. “It will be if you’re correct.” Wouldn’t it? He should be feeling elated. He was perhaps days away from reaching his goal of the past several months—no, years. Ever since he’d abandoned Luke’s training, he’d longed to destroy the Jedi order and all who supported it. So why did his chest suddenly feel hollow?

_Because she doesn’t want you_ , said the traitorous, ever-present voice in the back of Kylo’s head. _So what’s the point in finding her now?_

“I’ll keep you updated,” said Dantalion.

“Thank you,” said Kylo solemnly, forcing himself to concentrate on the present. “If there’s nothing else—”

“Actually, one thing.” Dantalion voice turned casual. “How’s Azura?”

Kylo blinked. “She’s . . . fine. Why do you ask?”

“I heard she got injured on Mustafar.”

Irritation peaked. Were none of his Knights capable of shutting up for even a day? “How did you hear that?”

Dantalion leveled his gaze from across the room. “Really, your highness? We talk. I thought you knew that about us.”

“No one is even supposed to know you’re gone.”

“You never said that.” Dantalion held up a hand. “You said not to tell them _where_ I was going. There’s a difference.”

Kylo’s rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “For kriff’s sake—”

“So she’s all right?” Dantalion interrupted, his voice more urgent now.

Kylo stopped, shutting his mouth on the retort that surfaced instantly. Watching more closely, he noticed the nervous curiosity behind Dantalion’s manufactured smugness. Was it possible . . .?

Did Dantalion _care_ for Azura?

Obviously he was very invested in her health. In Kylo’s own experience, that meant—

_What experience?_ said the snarky voice at the back of his mind, and he silenced the thought.

To Dantalion he said, “She’s fine. She sustained some injuries, but the med droids patched her up.” Kylo remembered with some discomfort how Azura had reached out to him from her bed. He hoped Dantalion wouldn’t press him any further.

Apparently he wouldn’t, because relief flashed across Dantalion’s features, and he smiled. “That’s good, then. She made it back. Good for her.”

“Of course.”

A flash of annoyance erased Dantalion’s smile. “You say that like you didn’t send her there, fully aware of the possibility that she could die.”

“Azura can handle herself,” said Kylo simply. “And lest you forget, she broke her vow.”

“Yes, but . . .” Dantalion bit his lip and glanced away. “Nevermind. I didn’t forget.”

Kylo cast about for a way to change the subject. Petty squabbling surfaced occasionally amongst the Knights, but a broken vow was much more serious. Fortunately, Azura had survived her trial, and they could all move on. “Talk to her yourself, if you want to,” said Kylo. “I’m sure you know her commlink code.”

“Hm,” was Dantalion’s only response. Then, he bowed again, one hand crossed over his chest in a gesture of respect. “I’ll check in again soon. Goodbye, my lord.”

“Goodbye.” Kylo barely had time to reply before the holoprojection winked away. Strange, how formal his Knight had suddenly become there at the end. Almost as if Dantalion were upset somehow. “My lord” from his lips was practically an insult. But he’d just been told Azura would be fine. If he did indeed care for her, his behavior made no logical sense.

Then again, few people did when they were in—

Kylo cut the thought again, squeezing his eyes shut as if darkness would smother any more leanings in that direction. He couldn’t afford to think that way tonight. Wearily, he wiped a hand down his face before opening his eyes. His lips still tingled with the memory of Rey’s kiss. His body ached from hours on his throne. He supposed he should take Dantalion’s advice and interact more with his troopers, but he couldn’t bring himself to make the effort.

Instead, he stood and fingered the lightsaber on his belt.

Training. He would lose himself to training.

Perhaps tonight, then, he would fall asleep.

#

Several hours after Hela’s words, Rey still turned them over in her mind.

_We all know Lord Ren’s in love with her._

The sentence repeated on a loop in her thoughts. She found herself analyzing every word, every inflection. Was the casual acceptance in Hela’s tone just a result of her mask, or was she really unaware of how earth-shattering those words could be? Looking back, Rey felt they should have been accompanied by the ground splitting open beneath her feet. _In love with her… ?!_

“Watch it!” A snippy voice dragged Rey’s attention to the present.

“Oh. Sorry, sir.” She stepped out of Hux’s path as he retreated from the bridge, where he’d been in a muted conference with one of his officers for the past hour.

“Which one are you again?” he asked as she fell into step behind him.

“I’m Azura Ren, sir.”

“Hmm. Your mission went well, then?” He glanced over his shoulder at her, his eyes trailing up and down as if to find fatal injuries.

Rey ignored this, though the gaze made her skin crawl. “Yes. Very well.”

“Strange,” said Hux stiffly. “The Supreme Leader never mentioned anything about it to me.”

Rey said nothing as he picked up his pace and Hela fell into step on his other side. Hux was trying to make her seem useless, as if Ben didn’t appreciate her. Why? Was that his approach—separate the Knights from within? If so, Rey didn’t think he’d have much success. From the little she’d seen of the other Knights, they were extremely loyal to Ben.

That was something else she wanted to investigate, she thought. But one thing at a time.

_We all know Lord Ren’s in love with her._ The ghost of Ben’s kiss trailed across her lips, and she shivered.

_You’re supposed to be looking for Leia, remember?_ said another voice in Rey’s head.

An entire shift spent at Hux’s side—following him from bridge to officer’s mess to hangar bay and back—and still Rey had learned nothing about Leia’s detention. Worse—she hadn’t even paid attention to other security details like how they were getting on and off the bridge. She’d been too distracted by Hela’s words. And now they were coming to a halt outside Hux’s quarters, where a cluster of Stormtroopers waited outside.

Hux turned to face Rey and Hela, nostrils flaring. “I think these men are more than capable of guarding a single door,” he said.

“Do you?” Hela asked, sounding amused.

Hux’s eyes flashed at her. Was that a hint of redness beneath his pale cheeks? “You may go,” he said, his voice sharp.

“Very well,” Hela said, bowing just enough to imbue the movement with mockery rather than respect. “Until tomorrow, General.” She straightened. “Sleep well.”

She turned and headed off down the hallway, leaving Rey to stare after her in wonder. How much practice would it take to be _that good?_

“Well?” Hux snapped at her, and she jumped.

“Goodnight,” Rey said before hurrying after Hela. A glance over her shoulder showed that Hux’s flush was creeping past the collar of his uniform as he punched his way angrily through his door.

“That was brilliant,” said Rey breathlessly when she caught up to Hela. “I don’t think he’s going to sleep at all.”

Hela chuckled. “I love playing with him. He makes it so easy.” She pressed a button to summon the elevator. “Still up for training?”

Rey’s stomach growled—she hadn’t eaten all day—and her injuries smarted. But she was used to going hungry, and there was a part of her that wanted to see how she stood against another Knight of Ren. Would Hela fight like Azura did, all swift movements and hidden blades?

If so, Rey could use the practice.

“Why not?” she heard herself say, and a few minutes later, the elevator spat them out on the training floor.

“This way,” said Hela. As they moved down the dark hallway, automatic lights above blinked on, guiding their way. Hela led Rey to a door at the end of the hall, where light already slipped out from between the cracks. Stopping before the control panel, she said, “Abraxas better not be hogging the floor again.”

The doors slid open, and Rey stopped in her tracks.

Ben stood alone at the center of a padded rectangle, his saber arcing through the air. Its red glow caught the sheen of sweat on his bare shoulders and chest. His muscles rippled and shifted beneath the harsh overhead lights. He was big, but somehow he moved with grace and control, bringing his saber’s tip to the floor and halting its movement an inch before it singed the ground. An instant later, it swung upward in a reverse parry against his imaginary foe. His eyes were focused and intent, so much so that he never even glanced her way. Hair stuck to his temples and the back of his neck.

Rey’s breath caught in her throat.

He was _beautiful._

Her eyes traced the scars she had given him, starting with the one that slid down his neck. They were pale pink against his skin, and rather than making him fearsome, they made him vulnerable in her eyes. She longed to stop him with a hand on his chest and trace them with her fingertips, apologizing for each of them as she went. Her lips tingled and she imagined kissing him as he was now, the taste of sweat on his skin. Their bodies would slide together, just like in her vision on Mustafar . . .

She tightened her legs against the wetness prompted by the thought.

Then the door clicked shut behind her, breaking the spell.  

Ben flinched at the sound, straightening quickly and cutting his lightsaber. In the resulting stillness, Rey’s breathing sounded loud in her own ears—or was that Ben’s? His chest heaved. She forced herself to watch his face instead.

As usual, his expression was difficult to read. “I didn’t see you there,” he said.

“Sorry to interrupt, my lord,” said Hela. Rey jumped. She’d forgotten anyone else was in the room.

“Not a problem.” Ben crossed to the opposite wall and picked up his discarded tunic. Rey’s stomach tightened in disappointment, but he only used it to wipe away the sweat on his face. He dropped it to the floor again and turned. “I actually just summoned Abraxas. I could use a partner.”

“Not tired enough yet?” said Hela. She walked out onto the fighting area. “I have a knife I’ve been wanting to try.”

Ben grimaced. A quick twist of his lips, nothing more, but Rey caught it all the same. Perhaps he was as thrilled as she was at the idea of fighting blades with a lightsaber: not at all. But he surprised her by saying, “By all means. Best of three?”

Hela crouched across the floor from where he stood. “Perfect.”

Rey held her breath a second time as Hela leapt from the ground. The blade was already in her hand, seized in a movement too quick for Rey to see. It was long and sharp-toothed, each edge glowing with electro-plasma, and it looked dangerous. But Ben didn’t even blink.

He ignited his lightsaber easily and knocked the knife aside with a twist of his wrist. Hela seemed to be expecting this, for she sailed right past him in a forward flip before spinning and attacking again. Her acrobatics were enough to make Rey dizzy, but Ben met this blow just as easily as he had the first. Hela rolled in a backward somersault, jumped upright, and lunged again.

Rey’s palms turned clammy as she watched. She’d begun by wondering how Ben would temper a real lightsaber against a blade—and found herself far more worried for _his_ welfare than for Hela’s. The female Knight held nothing back as she jumped and danced around the floor. If Ben was sweaty before, it was nothing to now. He blinked furiously to clear his eyes between blows, and each time he did, Rey’s heart stuttered in her chest.

After a while, the door behind Rey slid open again. It was the smallest sound amidst the thump and bang of Hela’s handsprings, but it was enough. Hearing it, Hela faltered one of her flips, landing awkwardly, and Ben took advantage of her uneven weight. Lunging forward, he stopped her with his saber an inch from her chest.

As if time had frozen, both Ben and Hela stood perfectly still. Rey’s pulse pounded in her chest. Then Hela muttered something in a language Rey didn’t recognize, and Ben stood, dropping his saber to his side.

“What’d I miss?” asked Abraxas, his voice booming as he stepped up next to Rey.

“Nothing of note,” Hela muttered.

Ben ignored this. “You did well, until the end,” he said as he caught his breath. “But you don’t always need the theatrics. I’ve told you before. They tire you out.”

“True,” said Hela. “But they tire _you_ out, too, my lord.”

Ben nodded once in acknowledgement. “So they do. Again?”

Rey’s mouth fell open behind her mask. He wanted to go _again?_ That blade had sailed close to his bare skin more times than she could count, and he was ready for a second round? She almost stepped forward to protest, but a large hand on her elbow pulled her back.

“Let’s sit,” said Abraxas, pointing to a bench along the wall. “This is going to be good.”

Rey managed not to say exactly what was going through her head—her true identity _definitely_ would have come out then—but instead followed him to the bench, taking her seat with shaking knees.

“Ready?” asked Hela.

Ben nodded once, and the second round began.

Although Rey had to sit on her hands to keep from fidgeting, there was something hypnotic about watching Ben fight. She’d never been in a position to pay this much attention before—in all their previous situations, she was either fighting against him, or fighting off too many Praetorian guards to stand and watch. As he’d been when she first entered the training room, he was graceful and controlled, seemingly unshaken by Hela’s artful dodging. His eyes sharpened in concentration, and Rey longed to reach out with the Force, to _feel_ his movements as he made them. But Rey held herself back. Being this close to him was risk enough. Any Force connection between them might light their bond ablaze—and then she would have bigger problems.

The shift came halfway into the round, when Hela began to take Ben’s advice and somersault a bit less. Instead, she crouched low to the floor, where her diminished height gave her an advantage. She moved swiftly, darting in and out of Ben’s defenses, forcing him to work hard in time to stop her. He was fine at first, but as Hela noticed her strategy working, she doubled her efforts. Rey began to see the change.

A missed step here. A backward lunge there. Soon, Ben was entirely on the defensive, and like a predator scenting blood, Hela moved in. The tension in the fight reached a higher pitch. Rey’s hands were going numb. She started to move them, and then—

_Snick._ The knife swiped above Ben’s left pec. At the same moment, a sharp pain sliced across Rey’s chest. She hissed through her teeth, pressing a hand above her heart, where the pain was worst.

Abraxas raised his eyebrows at her.

“That . . . looks like it hurts,” she managed. A thin trickle of blood dripped from the horizontal line across Ben’s chest. Rey rode out the pain, but behind it, panic rose like clouds in a darkening sky.

What was this? A side effect of the bond? Abraxas shrugged and turned away, and she wished she could brush off the moment as easily. This shared pain was something new, and powerful, and it frightened her.

Oblivious to his effect on her, Ben stood and cut his saber. “Good,” he said, somehow managing to sound calm, albeit breathless. “See the difference that made?”

Hela, on the other hand, was apologetic. “I’m sorry, my lord. I didn’t mean—”

“Forget it.” Ben dismissed her words with a wave of his hand. “It’s nothing. But your strategy . . .”

Rey’s chest throbbed. It was definitely not _nothing._ Trying to keep her breathing even, she stood and inched toward the door. She had to get outside into the hallway, if only to clear her head. Abraxas glanced at her again, but the tightness in her chest was such that she didn’t care. Reaching the door at last, she slipped out and leaned against the wall.

The automatic lights above her flicked on. Tentatively, Rey unbuttoned the top clasps of her jacket. She peeled back the leather just enough to glimpse the strip of skin above her breastband.

Bandages on her left shoulder from Mustafar and an expanse of freckles were all that greeted her.

Hands shaking, she re-buttoned her jacket.

“It’s fine,” she said, her voice quiet in the empty hall. “It’s just a coincidence.” _A cramp,_ she thought. At the same time: _Liar._

She turned and hurried back to her seat in the training room. Ben was still going through some of Hela’s moves, suggesting improvements in patient tones.

“ . . . And you can always confuse your opponent by switching hands. Try it this round.” He crouched, igniting his lightsaber once again.

But Hela shook her head. “No, my lord. I concede.”

Ben’s eyebrows shot up. “You . . . concede?”

“My people have a word for those who draw blood during training. Baga. It means butcher.” Hela stashed her knife in its hidden sheath, raising her hands to admit defeat. “It is not honorable to continue.”

A flash of surprise crossed Ben’s features, but he nodded. “Very well.” He hadn’t even wiped away the blood on his chest. Rey watched it trickle down toward the line of his trousers, transfixed. “Abraxas?”

“I’m a bit tired . . .” Abraxas began.

“From standing outside a cell all day?” Hela asked. She took the empty seat beside Rey.

Abraxas leaned forward to shoot a glare down the bench. “I’m still sore from our last training session, all right? A man’s got to rest sometimes.”

“Sometimes? Is that your new word for every day?”

Abraxas bared his teeth in a fearsome growl. Hela laughed.

Ben’s gaze landed on Rey. Her cheeks heated behind her mask. _We all know Lord Ren’s in love with her._ The words echoed in her head as she met his eyes. He looked tired, especially beneath the sweat and strain of training. He looked like something had burrowed under his skin, into his soul, and it wasn’t letting him go.

Is that what love looked like?

“And you, Azura?” he asked. He waved his free hand in an open-palmed gesture that encompassed the training floor. An invitation.

Rey’s breath caught in her throat. She should say no, of course. Her recent discovery about pain made it inadvisable to fight Ben, for a start. Not to mention the fact that her mind was in chaos, which didn’t exactly lend itself to good combat. _And_ she couldn’t even rely on the Force.

So when she responded, “I could go a round,” she was more surprised than anyone.

Ben nodded, stepping aside to give her space. “Excellent.”

“Ten credits on Master Ren,” said Abraxas to Hela as Rey took her spot on the floor.

“I don’t bet against the Supreme Leader,” said Hela. Abraxas grunted in response, and nerves plucked at Rey’s spine like a string.

She really shouldn’t be doing this.

But it was too late to back down. Ben stood across the floor from her, his lightsaber held behind him in his right hand, fighting stance ready. Cautiously, she pulled her longest blade from its sheath on her back. Like Hela’s knife, its edge glowed blue with electro-plasma, the better to deflect Ben’s saber. But before Ben moved, Rey felt a fierce, sudden longing to have her lightsaber working in her hands.

Then this match would be much more even.

Despite the missing saber, an unexpected flare of emotion went through her: _excitement._

She _wanted_ to do this.

It would be . . . fun.

Before she could linger on the thought, Ben moved, and Rey rode the thrill of adrenaline to meet him. She narrowed her gaze on his muscles as he swung his weapon around. Watching the flex of his arm, she saw his movement before it happened, bringing up her blade to deflect just in time. He approached from the other side: same movement, different speed. Rey moved quickly to press him back. Speculation came into his eyes.

He was testing her.

He put her through the basic motions, moving faster with each one. Rey’s breath came heavy, and for a moment, she was afraid she would falter. But then she fell into rhythm, it became easier to breathe, and her blood pounded in her ears. She followed its beat with each swing of her sword. She matched Ben blade for blade.

Ben’s eyes went from speculative to focused. _Not so easy, is it?_ Rey thought with a thrill of triumph. She tasted metal in her mouth as she twisted and blocked. Adrenaline blotted out the flash of pain from her injured shoulder.

Ben thrust toward her. Rey’s bones vibrated as her blade blocked his path. She lunged forward in retaliation, pressing his lightsaber back. His forearms bulged as he tightened his grip to hold her off.

It was in this stalemate, several inches apart, that Rey’s senses sharpened. Time seemed to slow, and she took in every detail of him. His eyes were blazing, his cheeks faintly red. She could smell the tang of exertion and his woodsy, now-familiar soap. Sweat blurred the line of blood on his chest. With each rise and fall of his breath, a few glistening beads of liquid slipped down between his pecs. The strong vee of muscle at his hips made a point, like an arrow shooting down, and his legs were chiseled stone beneath the cloth of his trousers.

Rey licked her lips and tasted salt.

An instant later, Ben twisted away from her, and time sped up again. They returned to their choreographed blows like partnering for a familiar dance. Limbs brushed and tangled as they turned. Each touch of Ben’s skin jolted Rey like a lightning strike.

“On second thought,” said Hela from the side of the room, “I’ll take that bet.”

Rey barely registered the words. She was too hypnotized by the dance to notice. Nerves buzzed. Blood sang. Each step heightened her senses, until they were full of one thought: _Ben, Ben, Ben_.

“Make it twenty,” said Abraxas.

“Done.” Hela’s voice carried an edge of anticipation.

Rey met Ben’s eyes—and was surprised to find confusion within them. Clearly he hadn’t been expecting _this._ And for the first time in the fight, he faltered.

She pressed her advantage. He caught himself on his back foot. A flash of warning went through Rey— _you’re giving yourself away—_ but the thrill of the fight overruled it. Seeing her opening, she feinted with her blade. Ben moved to block, opening up his left side as he did so.

A deft hook of her right ankle around his left was all it took. He went down hard, his lightsaber flying from his hand and de-igniting, spinning across the room. Even as he fell, his eyes shot to her face. She couldn’t suppress a rush of satisfaction at the utter shock she found there.

Then, too late—she saw his surprise turn into determination. He hooked his foot around hers and pulled her down.

Because she wasn’t prepared, she still had her blade in hand. She managed to twist while she fell, moving the blade so that it wouldn’t pierce his throat. Instead, it clipped the bottom of his left ear. It didn’t cut deep, but Rey heard his quick intake of breath—followed by her own. The pain shocked her to alertness.

That, and the fact that now she was lying on top of him.

They were both breathing heavily after the fight. His chest rose up and down so hard that it carried her bodily along with it. And that wasn’t the only hard thing between them. Sensation shot through Rey’s limbs, up to her nipples, as she realized what was pressing between her legs. Her eyes stung as she blinked away sweat. His face was so close. His lips began to part, and her gaze snagged on them, so full and waiting to be kissed. Her clothes chafed against her body. Before she could think, she found herself lowering her head, even with the mask in her way—

Ben took her waist in his hands and deftly rolled her to the side. A second later, he was upright, before she’d even found the awareness to move. He retrieved his lightsaber and stashed it on his belt as Rey sat up, lightheaded.

She couldn’t help but notice he was facing the opposite side of the room.

“Excellent,” said Hela. She turned to Abraxas, holding out a gloved palm. “Pay up.”

“I’m starting to wish I hadn’t offered,” Abraxas muttered, digging in his pocket for the credits.

Rey lifted a hand to her head. Beneath the mask, her ear stung, and she felt as if she were waking from a vivid dream. After a few moments, Ben turned to face her, and right before his blank expression fell into place, she saw a similar dazedness behind his eyes.

“Well done,” he said in a distant tone, holding out a hand to help her up. She took it, and even that contact through her glove was enough to set her nerves alight again. When he let her go, she stretched her hand to shed the sensation.

“Thank you,” she said, giving a small bow. As awareness returned, alarms went off in her head. She shouldn’t have beaten him. She should have been avoiding his attention, not inviting it.

“Good feint at the end,” he said. “I’m always telling you to take advantage of your opponent’s weaknesses. You finally listened.” His mouth went crooked, an approximation of a smile. “Ideally it wouldn’t have been against _me,_ but . . .”

“I’m—I’m sorry, my lord,” Rey said quickly. Suddenly she found herself worrying about the unspoken rules of the Knights. Would she be punished? But Hela had beaten him too, and she was fine—so far—?

“Don’t apologize.” His voice was serious. It went lower as he glanced toward Abraxas and Hela. “Really, Azura. You . . . fought well.” Unknown emotion flickered in his eyes. An answering shiver danced over Rey’s skin. Had he felt it too, then? The _rightness_ of their curious dance?

Before Rey could speak, Hela appeared, offering Ben his tunic. “Master Ren. Your ear.”

He reached up and brushed his left ear, pulling away to see blood on his fingers. Rey flinched—she was the butcher now. “Thanks,” he said, taking the tunic from Hela and dabbing at the blood. He wiped the stripe of blood from his chest a second later. “I should go get cleaned up.” He turned to Abraxas. “Sorry to waste your time.”

“Oh, no,” said Abraxas. “Quite the opposite. Now I get to tell Nebarius he’s the only Knight who’s never beaten you.”

Ben frowned. “Last time I checked, two on one doesn’t count.”

Abraxas lifted his eyebrows. “Would you care to break Dantalion’s heart by telling him that, or shall I?”

Ben chose not to answer, shaking his head instead. A few drops of sweat flicked from the ends of his waves. He took his Knights’ ribbing with good humor—something Rey had never expected from him.

And he’d been a patient instructor throughout the training session. In fact, as Rey reflected on the evening, she realized he’d never lost his temper, not once. He was clearly exhausted—the bags under his eyes told her that. But he’d been patient with Hela, correcting her mistakes in such a way that she beat him in the next round.

As the others began to file out of the room, Rey came to a halt in the doorway. Could he have done it on purpose? To reinforce his lesson?

Could he have—let her win?

She watched as Ben bent his head to hear something Hela was saying. As he nodded, he glanced back over his shoulder. There was a question on his face, a curious look, but it disappeared as he schooled his features once more. “Coming?” he asked.

Rey cleared her throat. For a moment, words wouldn’t come. There was a quiet contentedness to the scene, a sense of camaraderie among friends, and she didn’t know how to respond. “You go ahead,” she said eventually, her throat tight. “I’ll catch up.”

#

Despite thirty minutes in the fresher and some soft, clean sleeping clothes, Kylo did not feel tired. He lay in bed for a while and stared at the ceiling. The pale silver light of distant stars gave his quarters a soft glow. He could lower the blackout shades, but what would be the point?

Frustrated, he threw off his covers and paced across the floor. The durasteel was cold against his bare feet, and he reveled in the small shock to his system. Punching his comm panel, he said, “Bring me something to help me sleep.” He needed to clear his head. 

“Right away, my lord.”

Kylo’s thoughts flicked back and forth between Rey and Azura as he waited. The first he would not allow himself to think about, and the second he didn’t understand—so the endless loop continued.

Rey. _Don’t reach for her._

Azura. _What happened?_

Training today had not been like other sessions. Working with Hela was normal, but once Azura took the floor, something changed. Kylo’s skin prickled at the memory. He growled low in his throat. He couldn’t afford this right now.

Perhaps he should send her away again.

A tentative presence brushed against Kylo’s mind, and he froze mid-step. _Rey._ She was reaching for him.

The brief touch was enough to bring heat to his skin. All too quickly, the memory of kissing her returned. He swallowed against a sudden dryness in his throat.

But she had shut him out. She could only be reaching for him now to explain herself, to let him down easy. There was no way she wanted him again.

With a surge of willpower, Kylo snipped the connection she’d been forming. He pulled himself back from the Force. For several seconds he waited, wondering if she would try again, wondering if he’d be strong enough to resist. But she didn’t.

Silence.

“Trying to close yourself off again?”

Kylo jumped, spinning to find the source of the voice. At the sight of Luke, he staggered back until his knees hit his bed.

“Believe me,” Luke continued, his ghostly form hovering beside Kylo’s desk. “It’s not all it’s cut out to be.”

“Clearly not,” Kylo spat, “if it’s so ineffective against _you._ ”

Instead of rising to the bait, Luke smiled. “That’s right. You learn quick.”

Anger tied a knot in Kylo’s throat. “That’s not what you said before,” he snarled. As soon as the words escaped, he knew they were a lie. Luke had given praise freely at his temple, until the last few months, when his eyes grew troubled each time they spoke. He had never pretended Ben didn’t have power.  

“We both know that’s not true,” said Luke quietly.

Kylo stiffened. Was Luke pulling the words directly from his mind? He strengthened his mental walls even further, but the ghost of his uncle didn’t so much as flicker. “Get out.”

“Don’t worry. I will. Eventually.” Luke turned, surveying the items laid out on Kylo’s desk: the holocron, the Jedi texts, Rey’s half-repaired lightsaber. Luke’s eyebrows rose. “Starting a collection?”

“She lost them,” Kylo said. He infused the words with malice, hoping to see Luke flinch.

It didn’t work. Luke merely raised a brow. “Are you sure about that, kid?”

“Don’t call me that.”

Luke sighed. His ghostly fingers played across the desktop, settling on the holocron. “This is new.”

Kylo’s gut clenched. “It will help me break the Force bond. Soon, it will be all be over, and the Resistance will be mine.” Why did that come out so much less triumphant than he’d planned?

Luke turned back to face him. “You need the Force to see the future. And even then, it’s not always clear.”

Kylo frowned. “What are you saying?”

“Things might not go the way you think.”

Kylo’s hands shook, but he met his uncle’s eyes. “I know.” _Let him read my mind now,_ Kylo thought. He remembered that fateful night years before, when he woke to a green lightsaber and the sting of betrayal.

By the sadness that filled Luke’s eyes, he was thinking the same thing. But seeing Luke’s hurt didn’t give Kylo the thrill he’d expected. Instead, he felt empty inside, as if he were nothing but a boy again, looking for acceptance from his favorite uncle. And it would never come.

“Get _out_ ,” Kylo repeated, his voice a low growl. His legs were numb, but he refused to sit.

Luke ignored him, stepping closer. His blue-brown cloak rippled in a nonexistent breeze. “I don’t think I ever told you the story of the day I faced Darth Vader.”

Kylo’s lips twisted. “No. I heard it on the holonet instead.” _So many secrets._ And all because Leia feared Kylo would follow his grandfather’s path. He still found it ironic that in attempting to prevent him from turning to the dark side, she isolated him until it was the only place left to go.

Ironic . . . and painful. Kylo’s eyes shot to the new datapad on his desk, where he could pull up a visual of Leia in her cell at any time. It became difficult to breathe.

“Believe it or not, there are things the holonet can’t tell you.” A bit of amusement leaked into Luke’s voice, and it sliced through Kylo like a knife. For an instant, he was a young teenager back in the Jedi temple, his legs cramping up from being crossed for too long. “For example,” Luke went on, “the fact that I almost lost.”

Jerked from his memories, Kylo could only stare. “You’re lying.”

“No.” Luke shook his head. “Why would I come here just to lie? This form isn’t exactly easy to take, you know.”

“Then, by all means, leave.”

Luke smiled again. “I appreciate your understanding. But I haven’t finished my story.” He stepped closer, until he was within arm’s reach. He was shorter than Kylo now, and as he gazed up to meet Kylo’s eyes, his look grew distant. “Vader tried to make me angry. He wanted me to give in to my hate. Do you know what he did?”

Despite his attempts not to care, Kylo found himself caught in curiosity’s net. He’d always felt kindred to his grandfather, believing that in him, he would have found understanding. To know the truth behind that fateful day . . . he couldn’t lose his chance. “What did he do?” Kylo asked, cursing Luke at the same time for catching him in this trap.

“He told me he would go after Leia. Make her turn. And in that moment, I gave in. I tried to kill him.” Luke’s voice broke on the last word, then grew very quiet. “I was afraid he would hurt the people I love.”

Kylo said nothing, turning the words over in his mind. He couldn’t imagine the mighty, untouchable Luke losing his temper. The idea was almost laughable. And yet . . . Kylo thought back to his days at the temple once again. There had been moments, few and far between, when Luke raised his voice to the padawans. Almost every occasion had involved questions about the dark side. Now Kylo knew it was not because Luke refused to acknowledge its power—but because he knew better than anyone its lure. For the first time, Kylo’s understanding of his uncle shifted, and he saw before him not a prodigy or a legend, but a person.

Luke Skywalker.

He recoiled from the realization. He didn’t want his uncle to be a person, flawed and human and full of apologies. He wanted him to be a monster.

It was easier that way.

“Do you know what made me stop fighting him, in the end?” Luke asked.

Kylo swallowed, unable to speak. His mind was torn in two directions, grappling with the man—ghost—who stood before him.

“If I gave into fear and hatred, I would _become_ him,” said Luke. “And then there would be no one left in the galaxy who believed he could be saved.”

“Just like you saved me?” Kylo said. He bit his tongue, wishing he had kept the words to himself. He didn’t have any need for Luke’s good opinion. He wasn’t that little boy anymore. He had to keep telling himself that.

“I gave in,” said Luke, his eyes full of grief. “For just a moment, I gave in. But I’m not fighting you, Ben. Not anymore. And I’m not the only one who believes in you.” Despite the depth of sadness in his eyes, Luke smiled. “Remember that.”

“It’s too late,” said Kylo quickly, before his mind could leap to Leia and Rey like it wanted to. “I’m not that boy anymore.”

Luke raised a brow, looking him up and down. “Then who am I talking to?”

Kylo opened his mouth to answer— _I’m the Supreme Leader, head of the First Order, I have fleets and armies and planets under my command—_ but the words wouldn’t come. Who was he, really? He didn’t care about that at all.

And if he didn’t want that, then what?

Luke smiled again at the silence. His eyes knew too much. Without another word, he turned and walked back across the room. Stopping by Kylo’s desk, he said, “Also, you might put some new vents on that lightsaber. It should work fine after that.”

“Wait—” said Kylo, but before he could finish, Luke waved a hand and disappeared.

Leaving Kylo alone with a hundred questions and a single thought to avoid:

_What am I really looking for?_

_#_

Rey recoiled as Ben shut her out, leaving her alone in her quarters. The drip of her clean hair on the carpet was all she heard.

Hurt spiraled through her. _Ben . . ._

She could try again. She could make him listen. Fiery determination rose in her as she gathered the Force to her once more.

But what if he really didn’t want her?

Rey released the building power before she could reach for Ben again. All her strength went out of her, and suddenly she was weary and tired. Her body ached, her shoulder protesting as it hadn’t during training. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed, curl up as small as possible, and lose herself to sleep.

Unfortunately, her mind had other plans.

After a few minutes of tossing and turning, she gave up. Standing, she flicked on the lights and dressed into one of Azura’s now-familiar suits. She slid the mask over her damp hair, falling once more into a world surrounded by dark walls. Strange, how it was becoming almost comfortable now.

The med ward was quiet and empty, save for a droid in the back corner. He perked up as she entered, the lights in his eyes glowing bright. As he floated over in her direction, he asked, “What can I do, Azura Ren?”

“A sleep aid. Please.”

“Ah,” said the droid. “You are here to pick up the requested sleeping tonic for the Supreme Leader?”

“What? No, I . . .” Rey’s voice trailed off. Dimly she remembered seeing Ben in the medical ward before, when she was being treated for her blaster wound. _Can’t sleep_ , he’d said then, and he still couldn’t sleep now. It certainly explained those bags under his eyes.

Was it possible . . . she tried to suppress the hope rising in her chest. Could it be that Ben couldn’t sleep for the same reason _she_ couldn’t?

He was thinking about _them_?

“Yes,” she said to the waiting droid. “That’s right. I’m here for the Supreme Leader’s medicine.”

“Excellent.” The droid floated to a nearby table and retrieved a small, teardrop-shaped bottle from the surface. When he pressed it into Rey’s waiting hands, the glass felt cold. “Tell him two swallows a night at first, no more. I’ll prepare more if he needs it.”

“Thank you,” she said, heart pounding. The droid returned to his corner, already shutting down.

The halls were a bit dimmer at night than they were during the artificial “day” that the destroyer followed on its journey through space. Still, they weren’t entirely empty. Each time a couple of Stormtroopers passed Rey, her heart leapt into her throat. But all they did was nod politely and continue past her. She was Azura Ren, after all.

She belonged here.

Her pulse jumped as she made her way through the _Finalizer_ halls. Azura’s memories told her the way to Kylo’s quarters, conjuring up remember meetings of the Knights there. She tried to pace herself, but in far too short a time, she stood outside his chamber. The control panel for his door showed it was locked from within. She pressed a button to ping him and rolled the cool glass bottle between her hands, feeling fidgety.

“Come in,” he called, his voice muffled by the door. The indicator on the control panel switched to “unlocked,” and Rey pressed a button for entry. As the door slid open, she caught sight of Ben at his desk, hastily putting something away.

Her lightsaber.

Rey’s breath caught in her throat. Had he been working on it? He shoved it into a lower drawer, then pulled his datapad closer and illuminated it, as if to pretend he’d been staring at the screen all along. Rey swallowed, trying to decrease the race of her pulse as she stepped inside.

“Good evening, Supreme Leader.”

Ben turned in surprise at the sound of her voice. “Azura.” The word sounded strained. “I didn’t think they’d send you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I was passing by.” She moved toward the desk, holding the glass bottle out in her hands.

He didn’t move. What was that expression on his face? Curiosity, surprise, confusion? Rey’s throat felt tight. She pressed the bottle carefully into his bare hand, trying not to touch his fingers. His skin brushed her glove anyway, and she shivered.

Something flickered across his face when they touched—didn’t it? She dropped her hand, afraid to stay but unwilling to leave. “Not sleeping well?” she asked to fill the silence.

Ben’s eyes dropped to the bottle in his hand, and he frowned. “No.”

“You’re supposed to take two swallows a night, no more.” She tilted her head. He was close enough for her to walk forward and wrap him in her arms, press his head into her stomach, hold him tight. Suddenly her body itched to move, and it was all she could do to stay still.

_Why are you avoiding me?_ She wanted to ask. She remembered Hela’s words. If he cared for her, why would he have cut her off as he did?

Because she ignored him earlier?

The whole situation tangled in her chest, and the tiredness she felt earlier wrapped around her. For the briefest instant, Rey wanted nothing more than to rip off her mask and throw it across the room. Let it break and shatter. She didn’t need it anymore. She only needed the person before her to meet her eyes, to _see_ her, to hold her again.

She lifted her hands—

\--and movement behind Ben’s shoulder caught her eyes. She flicked her gaze to the datapad on his desk, and alarm shot through her like a blaster set to stun. There on the screen was Leia herself, curled up on a bed in a small cell. Her hair was coming undone, and she wore the same clothes she’d worn at Ryoo’s house, but otherwise, she was unharmed. Save for the haunted look on her face, she could be in her quarters at the Resistance base.

But she wasn’t. Rey’s hands lowered, clenching into fists. Leia was here, aboard the _Finalizer._ She was here, and Rey had to rescue her.

All along the sides of the visual, Rey saw data about Leia’s imprisonment. Detention block AA-23. Rayshields. Bio-identification security. Her blood roared in her ears as she took it all in.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked, his brow furrowing. Rey jumped, stepping back.

“Nothing,” she said. His frown deepened. “I’m . . tired as well. I should be in my quarters. Sleeping.”

“Very well,” he said slowly, as if uncertain about her words. Rey tried to quiet her racing pulse. “You’re dismissed.” He held up the bottle and shook it in her direction. “And thank you.”

“It’s not a problem,” she lied, backing up toward the door. “I’m happy to help.”

#

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hela's "baga"/butcher reference is borrowed from [The Blue Sword](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blue_Sword) by Robin McKinley, one of my favorite books of all time, and her people are loosely based off the hill-folk (but on their own planet, of course). 
> 
> Also, fair warning that things will be getting smutty soon. I'm keeping the rating at M for now, but if anything needs to be upgraded, please let me know. 
> 
> Drop me a comment with your thoughts if you feel so inclined! :)


	13. Aren't You a Little Tall for a Knight of Ren?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and commenting! I love reading your speculation and wishes for chapters to come. I hope you enjoy this one :)

Kylo bent lower over the lightsaber on his desk, steadying his hand as he screwed one last mechanism into place. He’d spent hours every night for the past several days replacing the vents on either end of the double-bladed hilt. Cursing under his breath the whole time probably hadn’t helped.

He hated the fact that Luke was right, just as he hated his own compulsion to fix the kriffing thing.

Yet as he sat back to admire his handiwork, he couldn’t help a rush of pride. This had been his grandfather’s lightsaber, and Luke’s, but in its current form, it carried all the characteristics of its new owner.

Not Kylo. Rey.

She’d used parts from what looked like a metal quarterstaff to house each half of the broken kyber crystal. As cobbled-together at it was on the outside, the wiring on the inside revealed her cleverness with machinery and parts. Clearly the Force had gifted her with talent in that area—as in many others. Kylo stroked one finger down the hilt, trailing it over scars and re-welded pieces in the metal. She’d taken something broken and made it even stronger.

For some reason, his chest felt tight.

Standing up from his desk, he lifted the hilt in his right hand, extending it away from his body. His thumb hovered over the ignition. He imagined her face if she could see it come to life. Part of him almost wanted to call for her.

No. She didn’t want him.

He flicked the switch.

Nothing happened.

He blinked. Switching off the ignition, he checked both sides of the hilt. Not a wire was out of place. The new vents had been fitted properly. Yet as he held the weapon out and tried again, it remained dark.

Frustrated, Kylo resisted the urge to toss the hilt across his chambers. Instead, he released a little of himself to the Force, allowing a tendril of energy to creep in. Kyber crystals were tricky like that. They required connection, and he’d been closing himself off lately to avoid Rey.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and flipped the switch again.

No buzzing or heat filled the room, but something shifted all the same. Warmth suffused Kylo from the inside out. A golden energy enveloped him, surprisingly strong and familiar. He opened his eyes.

The lightsaber was dark. Nothing had changed. He tossed the hilt on his desktop with a growl.

That was when movement on his bed caught his eye.

Rey lay atop his blankets, tossing in her sleep.

The bond—that was the warmth surrounding him. His brief connection with the Force was enough to summon it. He shivered, preparing to sever the cord between them, but a sound from Rey made him hesitate.

A groan. She turned her head, and he caught a glimpse of her face: forehead creased, eyes rolling behind her closed eyelids.

Something wasn’t right.

He crossed to where she lay. He tried not to acknowledge the possessive heat that rolled through him at the sight of her stretched out on his bed. She was atop the blankets, wrapped in soft sleep clothes, projected there from her own bed, and he wanted nothing more than to lay down beside her and wrap her in his arms. But he resisted. She was tossing and turning, beads of sweat on her brow. When he stopped beside her, she let out a heavy breath.

“No . . .” she moaned. She was having a nightmare.

Kylo stepped even closer, suddenly unsure. Should he wake her? Would she even want to see him? Surely not, but cutting off the bond and leaving her like this, alone, was unthinkable now. As he watched, she tossed again, the muscles in her neck cording up. She was fighting some kind of violent emotion. His throat hurt to see it cross her sleeping face.

Moving on instinct alone, he lifted a hand toward her brow. He paused right before touching her, but at the frown that creased her face, he couldn’t resist. His fingers brushed hair from her sticky forehead, pushing it gently aside.

His heart pounded at the contact. She was hot. _Too hot._

He pressed the back of his hand against her forehead, like his mother had done to him when he was younger. Heat suffused his skin. Rey was burning up.

At the contact, Rey stirred again, and he jerked his hand away. She ended up with her face turned toward him, her hands no longer clawing at the air but instead lying flat across her stomach. Her brow was still creased in a frown. Tentatively, Kylo reached out again, smoothing the back of his hand from her temple down her cheek. The touch brought heat to his skin to match hers.

Rey sighed, and her brow unfurrowed. For the slightest moment, she leaned into his touch. A thrill passed through him, and his skin tingled with an unfamiliar sensation. The bond fluttered around him.

Just as the power between them reached its peak, an image flashed through Kylo’s mind. It came and went so fast it was almost difficult to interpret. In it, he knelt on the ground, only his body was different—long and thin and smaller than normal. _Female._ He was . . . he was _Rey._ Or at least, he looked out from her eyes. And in his—her—arms, he cradled . . . _himself._

Kylo who was awake and standing beside Rey’s bed didn’t understand at first. But the Kylo stretched out in his arms was bloodied and injured. And he’d just reached a hand up to Rey’s cheek.

_Her dream,_ Kylo realized at last. He was seeing her dream.

Even as he thought it, the dream Rey leaned into the touch of Kylo’s hand on her cheek, just as she’d done in reality.

“You came back,” said the dream version of himself.

“Of course I came back,” said Rey, a low murmur. “ _I will always come back for you_.”

Kylo jerked out of the vision and back to reality. He stood above her, staring down at Rey curled on his bed, the worry now smoothed from her brow. His pulse beat a deafening rhythm in his ears.

Was she really dreaming of him?

Before he could move, before he could think, her eyelashes began to flutter.

Kylo stumbled back, their connection drowning beneath a wave of panic.

She disappeared before her eyes could open, and he was left alone.

#

Rey hesitated briefly before opening her eyes. A strange feeling lingered from her dream—no, her nightmare. She couldn’t remember the details, only that it had made her pulse race with fear. Until the end, that is. Something warm and calm had settled over her, a breath of peace. Certainty.

That was when she woke up.

She opened her eyes. She lay in Azura’s bed, the blankets tangled around her. Her hair stuck to the back of her neck, yet she felt oddly chilled. She moved, and her body ached.

Not good.

After a great effort, she managed to climb from the bed and stumble across the room to her pitcher of water. She poured herself a full glass and drank it down in three swallows. Dimly, she registered that her throat ached, but the pain was nothing compared to the pounding in her head. Her skin felt overly sensitive and rough. Each brush of her clothing was scratchier than desert sand.

Something was wrong.

She checked the clock on Azura’s far wall. Early morning. She’d be needed at Hux’s chambers to start her shift soon. She glanced back at her ruffled bed, a luxury that had never been more alluring. But there was no time to delay. She’d already wasted the past few days serving beside Hux, waiting for an opportune moment to slip away. Today could be the day she succeeded.

She had to get to detention block AA-23. To Leia.

Slowly, she dressed herself, pulling her leather suit gingerly over her healing shoulder. Her body protested, but she swallowed back the rising nausea. She contemplated the dehydrated protein stored in Azura’s cupboards, but couldn’t bring herself to eat. Even the water sloshed in her unsettled stomach now.

About twenty minutes and some serious willpower later, Rey managed to meet Hela outside Hux’s door. A few Stormtroopers stood outside, shifting their weight from foot to foot and avoiding Hela’s gaze. When Rey approached, they nodded once and turned on their heels, all too pleased to escape.

“Hmm,” said Hela, watching them leave. “That’s odd. Usually they say hello before running away.”

An instant later, Hux’s door slid open, revealing the man himself. His hair was slicked back against his head, his uniform in pristine condition. As Rey and Hela straightened to attention, he sniffed disdainfully. “You’re late,” he said to Rey.

“I’m sorry, sir. Won’t happen again.”

“See that it doesn’t.” His blue eyes turned sharp like cut diamonds. “Even a Knight of Ren can be punished.” He turned on his heel and began striding down the corridor at a quick pace. Rey’s muscles protested as she moved to keep up.

From beside her, Hela muttered, “There’s that mystery solved. He’s in a stinking bad mood.” There was a brief pause, and then she chuckled. “This should be fun.”

“Fun” was not exactly the word Rey would’ve used. By early afternoon, she’d all but given up hope of slipping away. Hux watched her every move, snapping at her when she so much as relaxed before he’d given the at-ease command. Hela gave as good as she got, but Rey’s head pounded, and it was all she could do to remember to answer to the name Azura.

So she was caught off guard when Hux dismissed her.

“I think one ridiculous guard is enough for this meeting,” he said, eying first Hela, then Rey. “Go and fetch some caf.”

“We are not servants,” said Hela in a low growl.

“My lord,” said Hux.

“I think you mean ‘my lady,’” Hela replied.

“We are not servants, _my lord,_ ” Hux ground out through gritted teeth.

Hela merely shrugged.

“I’ll go,” Rey said, and they both turned to her. Hux’s surprise was evident, followed by narrowed eyes, but she sensed her moment and had to take it. She might not get away again.

“See that you do not dally,” he said, before turning and slamming the control panel inside his meeting room. The heavy door slid shut.

“You don’t have to go,” said Hela.

“No, it’s all right. I’ll spit in his caf for you.”

“Ooh! Good idea.” Hela took up her position by the door, knife in hand, and began tossing it hilt-first into the air. She caught it deftly every time. “And maybe get some of those little biscuits. You know, with the frosting on top?” She tilted her masked head. “For us, of course. Not for him.”

“Right.” Rey waved, then hurried off down the corridor, heart pounding. The map of the star destroyer unfurled in her head. Up two levels, then across the ship—that would be the detention block she needed.

What she would do when she got there, only time would tell.

#

Kylo sat on his throne once more, having just finished reading his admirals’ recent reports. The news of the fleet’s positon was spreading across the galaxy, but there were no signs as of yet that the Resistance was taking the bait. Dantalion might be able to confirm otherwise, but there had been no message from him today.

Kylo’s thoughts trailed back to Rey, as they had done all morning. Was she all right? Did the Resistance have medicine? What if their base was too isolated, too withdrawn—? Fevers had been known to kill in the Outer Rim. And how had they been so clumsy as to let her get infected in the first place? His hands tightened into fists. Perhaps he should reach for her . . .

He was about to throw pride to the stars and do so when the datapad on his lap pinged with an incoming transmission. He swiped angrily at the pad. “What is it?”

“Lord Ren. I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d answer.” Mara Ren’s voice came through the transmission link, concern evident in her tone.

“Mara.” Kylo pulled the datapad closer, pressing a few buttons to bring up the image of her face. “I wasn’t expecting you. Is Sallos . . . ?”

The image of both the Knights appeared, grainy and dark but visible. “Here, my lord,” said Sallos, his dark eyes piercing beneath his heavy brow. Beside him, the diminutive Mara was also maskless, her dark skin blending with the shadows around them both.

Kylo let out his breath. “Good.” Sallos and Mara had been in the Outer Rim on a reconnaissance mission for weeks now. Their reports were few and far between, yet they were competent, especially together. He’d had no reason to doubt their health, and yet . . . “I’m glad to hear from you.”

A moment of stunned silence greeted him. Kylo cursed himself. Since when was he so sentimental? “Th-thank you, my lord,” said Mara after a moment. “We apologize for the delay.”

“No matter.” Kylo cleared his throat. “What news?”

“We’ve finally found a suitable location, my lord.” Mara’s voice returned to its usual businesslike tone. “It’s inhabited, but the locals abandoned a sector of the planet in the last decade for more profitable terrain.”

“More profitable . . .?” Kylo asked. He’d sent them to find a hideout, not an investment.

“It’s a mining planet, sir, but not heavily populated,” said Sallos. “And . . . you should be warned . . . it’s _very_ cold _._ ”

“Would you stop?” muttered Mara.

“Well, it is! He needs to know, in case it factors into his decision—”

Kylo spoke over them both. “Why do you think it’s the best fit?”

Mara nudged Sallos with her elbow to quieten him before continuing. “It’s well hidden, my lord. Not a planet most people would stumble across. There’s already a network of underground caverns, which we can convert to an operational base. And . . .” She hesitated, her voice trailing off.

“Yes?” So far, the place sounded ideal, exactly as he’d ordered them to find. But something in Mara’s tone made him hesitate.

“It’s a risk, my lord, but I think it’s a smart one.”

“Just tell me, Mara.”

“The people here were sympathetic to the Rebellion. My lord.” Her words spilled out in a rush, the honorific tagged on as an afterthought.

Kylo turned this over in his head. In a way, it was a stroke of genius. It would mean hiding from the locals, yes, but it would also mean that in a hunt across Outer Rim planets, this one would be low on the list to search. The Resistance and the Third Republic and even Hux would assume that Kylo would stay as far from Republic sympathizers as possible.

Of course, the goal was not to have to _use_ the hideout. But Kylo wasn’t taking any chances.

“You’re certain the caverns are abandoned?” he asked.

“Yes, my lord. Positive. We’ve been here for several planetary rotations and there’s no one in sight.”

“Very well. Continue with converting them. We’ll need functional transmission capabilities and security measures if they’re to be of any use.”

Sallos spoke up. “Of course, my lord. And lots of blankets.”

Kylo frowned. “Just get to work. And don’t let anyone else know about this. It comes to my private transmission only.”

“Yes, my lord.”  
Kylo waited for them to sign off, but they shifted in place instead, exchanging an unreadable look. “Something else?” Kylo asked.

“Just . . . wondering how everyone is. We heard about Azura.”

“You heard—?” Kylo tried and failed to keep his tone level.

“Only that she went to Mustafar.” Mara sounded defensive. “Presumably she did something . . . bad.”

“She disobeyed a direct order,” said Kylo. “She tried to kill R—the Jedi.”

“She did _what_?” Mara’s voice cracked. She muttered something under her breath that Kylo couldn’t catch.

“And she’s still alive?” Sallos sounded doubtful. Kylo tried not to read too far into his surprise.

“Yes, she’s alive,” he said instead through gritted teeth. “Now if you’ll both excuse me, I’ll leave you to gossip with the others. It seems I can’t stop you.”

“No, my lord,” said Mara somberly. “It’s a waste of time to try.”  
“You’re halfway across the galaxy!” said Kylo. “How did you even find out?”  
“Oh, you know,” said Mara vaguely. “Comm links.”

“We have to keep in touch somehow,” said Sallos.

“Do you? I didn’t realize that was part of your mandate.”

“We swore to remain loyal to you, my lord. Gossip wasn’t part of the deal.”

Mara laughed at Sallos’s words. Kylo opened his mouth to protest, but before he could, the transmission ended.

“Knights,” Kylo muttered, shoving the datapad aside. He interlaced his fingers and rested his chin atop them. Despite himself, a spark of amusement lingered after the call. He had always kept himself closed off from such pleasantries before—overlooking them more than endorsing them. Yet recently he seemed to have lost the will to fight them.

Or, more truthfully, he found he actually . . . liked them.

He waited for guilt to follow the feeling. Nothing came. It was a strange sensation, the idea that he could enjoy the companionship of his Knights without repercussion. Without the voice in his head—Snoke’s voice—telling him it was all a lie.

Kyloe flinched away from the memory—and then the blast doors opened, revealing Zagan.

“My lord,” said the Knight, rushing forward toward the throne and hardly stopping to bow. “We have a problem.”

#

Rey thanked R’iia and Nebarius’s Izax and all the other gods she’d ever heard of when she reached detention block AA-23.

There were no Stormtroopers in sight.

She inched along the hallway, counting steps as she went. From what she’d seen on Ben’s datapad, she should come across rayshields about halfway down. She knew enough about the control panel to be able to rewire them, but she hadn’t exactly come armed with tools. She was already thinking of how her knives could be repurposed when a familiar voice called out.

“Azura! Is that you?”

Far at the end of the hall, Abraxas and Nebarius waved at her.

“Yes!” Rey’s mind danced around for an excuse. “I came to relieve you.”  
The two Knights exchanged a look. “Already? But we just sent Zagan for food.”

Rey shrugged, praying her face remained unaffected, unlike her pounding head. “K—Lord Ren sent me. Says you deserve a break.” Her heartbeat grew deafening.

Another glance exchanged. Then Abraxas started forward. “Well, I won’t argue with that. A man’s got to eat.” He strode quickly down the corridor, Nebarius on his heels.

“Didn’t you eat two loaves of choya bread less than an hour ago?” Nebarius asked.

“Exactly. That was a snack.” Abraxas patted his stomach as he neared Rey, shooting her a wide grin. “It’s time for lunch.”

When he stood a few paces away, he stepped to the wall and flipped open a previously hidden control panel door. “Bloody rayshields,” he muttered as he punched something in. “Waste of time.”

Nebarius rolled his eyes over Abraxas’s hefty shoulder.

Rey tried to catch whatever Abraxas was typing in, to no avail.

“Let’s just leave them down until we get back,” said Abraxas, pushing one final button and shutting the control panel again. A sound of powering-down came from the walls around Rey, and a moment later, Abraxas stepped toward her, giving her shoulder a hard smack as he passed. “Thanks, Azura.”

“No problem,” said Rey. Nebarius winked at her as he followed Abraxas. “Just bring me back some of those biscuits with the frosting on top.”  
Nebarius stuck a thumbs-up in the air over his shoulder as they left.

As the door slid shut behind them, Rey hurried down the hallway to the cell where they’d been standing a few moments earlier. Just as she remembered from Ben’s datapad, a bio-identification panel stood outside. It required the Supreme Leader’s handprint and voice activation.

Not much she could do about that.

Rey pressed her palm against the metal cell door instead, heart twisting into knots. Her breath felt ragged and painful. There had to be a way in.

“Need a hand?” asked a voice to her right. She jumped, staggering away from the cell until her back hit the cold wall opposite. As her eyes struggled to focus, the ghostly form of the man who had helped her on Mustafar took shape.

“You again,” she said, and it came out breathless and heavy.

“I was hoping for more enthusiasm,” he said drily, “but considering the circumstances, it’ll have to do.”

Rey looked him up and down. “Who did you say you were again?”

“I didn’t.” He floated closer to the control panel, his eyes shifting until the vast sadness she’d glimpsed before filled them. “And you wouldn’t believe me if I did.”

“I think I’d believe almost anything at this point.”

He gaze returned to her, shuttering. In that moment, as his expression blanked, he reminded her so much of Ben that she gasped. His mouth twisted. “Good. You learn fast.”

Rey waved at the door. “Can you . . .?”

He shrugged. “Perhaps. What will you do if I can?”

Rey stood taller, squaring her shoulders. “I’m here to save Leia.”

He tilted his head, eyes narrowing. “Really? Is that the _only_ reason?”

“What?” Rey’s face grew hot beneath her mask. “What do you mean?”

He rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “Was I this bad? Nevermind.” Abruptly, he turned his back to her and focused on the panel again. She shifted so she could see his face. His ghostly blue eyes were closed, his jaw clenched in concentration. He was both familiar and strange. A part of her wanted to reach out to his Force signature, but she pulled back just in time. If she opened up the bond by accident . . .

Before she could finish the thought, the ghost’s eyes opened. A second later, the cell door began a slow grind away from the wall. It stopped about a foot away, just enough space for Rey to turn and slip inside. Her mouth fell open beneath her mask.

The ghost’s eyes were wide as he looked into the cell. His previously blank expression wavered, and for the barest instant, a flash of emotion seeped through: tenderness and aching all at once. It was terrible to witness, that glimpse through the cracks. Rey shivered at the sight. Somehow she knew this man carried monsters on his shoulders.

Then he turned to her. “You don’t have long,” he said. And he disappeared.

Rey took a deep breath before turning sideways and slipping into the cell.

A moment later, Leia’s eyes flashed open, and she pushed herself up off her mattress. “Who the kriff are you?”

#

“Slow down, Zagan. Start over.”

Zagan paced the throne room, his eyes casting toward the blast doors at every other step. “I’m telling you, he’s up to something. Something _sinister._ And he’s going to strike soon.”

“What makes you say so?” Kylo asked. It wasn’t the first time in the conversation that he’d tried to steer his Knight toward some kind of proof.

Zagan stopped and threw his hands in the air. “Really, my lord? You know the man. Tell me you haven’t seen the murder in his eyes.”

Kylo could hardly disagree. Hux’s enthusiasm for the art of homicide was far too strong for Kylo’s liking—and he’d known it for a long time. Yet why _today_ was the day to panic, of all days—

“I was on my way to the canteen,” Zagan said, “when I stumbled across Hux coming around a corner. And he was acting very strange. Twitchy. Talking to himself.” Zagan’s hands were nowhere near his eyepatch, which indicated that most of this was true. Kylo leaned forward. “And he was headed toward the detention block. AA-23.” Zagan’s eyes leapt up, burning with meaning.

Kylo’s blood turned cold. “You think he’s going to visit Leia.” Not a question. Kylo had suspected that Hux would try something with their Resistance prisoner eventually—after all, she was too good an opportunity to pass up. But he mistakenly thought his power would command more than a week of obedience.

Zagan nodded. “And his Stormtroopers have been jumpy lately. Just ask Hela.”

“Jumpy . . .?” Kylo struggled to pull his mind from the sudden panic of imagining what Hux would do if he got ahold of Leia.

“They’re up to something. Together. I know it.” Zagan stopped, crossing the room until he stood before Kylo once again. “Please, my lord. Trust me. We need to act soon.”

Kylo took a deep breath. Zagan’s one visible eye was beseeching, imploring. It matched the pounding of his own heart, the beat of which sang out, _stop him, stop him!_ But Kylo knew what would happen if he moved against Hux without provocation. A schism in the First Order—a divide. Perhaps even a mutiny. No, Hux had to be the one to disobey him first. And publicly.

But could he really use . . . could he really use Leia as bait?

Kylo stood from his throne, clearing his throat. “I want you to follow him night and day. Not as an official security detail. Just watch him. Talk to his people. We need to catch him in the act.”

Zagan hesitated, then nodded. “Very well, my lord. I can do that. But . . .” He hesitated. “What are you going to do now?”

Kylo crossed the room toward the blast doors. “I think it’s time I visited the prisoner, don’t you?”

#

Rey yanked her helmet off her head, knocking her hair loose from its bun so that wisps of it fell and clung to her neck.  “It’s me. Rey. I’m here to rescue you.”

Leia blinked. Stared. Then closed her eyes and shook her head. “Not again.”

“What?” Rey wondered if her heavy head was interfering with her hearing.

“Forget it,” Leia said, opening her eyes. “I just have one question. What part of ‘promise me you’ll make her stay away’ was unclear? I could use the feedback, because frankly, I’m not seeing it.”

Rey bit her lip. “Oh. You mean Poe.”

“Yes. _Captain_ Poe. I just demoted him.” Leia crossed her arms, leaning back against the wall in a casual pose. “Again.”

“It’s not his fault,” said Rey quickly. This wasn’t going at all how she’d planned. She checked over her shoulder, but there was no sound from the hallway beyond. “I . . . kind of . . . shot him.”

Both Leia’s brows shot up. “Kind of or did?”

“Did,” Rey admitted in a low voice. “But the blaster was on stun.” She waited for the blow to fall.

It never came. Instead of getting angry, Leia tilted her head, studying Rey with narrowed eyes. The silence stretched long and awkward. Rey shifted her weight. After an uncomfortably long time, Leia said, “So you stunned Poe and came aboard this ship—” her eyes took in the leather suit “—in disguise as Azura Ren, and you’ve been maintaining it this whole time? For me?”

Rey felt her face grow hot again, and this time there was no mask to protect her. “Of course. Someone had to rescue you. And it was my fault you got captured in the first place. I . . . felt bad.”

“You felt bad.”

“Yes! All right? But I’m here now. I don’t have a ship for you yet, but we can get one.” Rey glanced over her shoulder again. “Probably.”

“You shot Poe, you’ve been in disguise in the First Order, and you don’t have a ship to get us out.”

“It sounds worse than it is,” Rey said.  

Leia merely stared.

“Listen.” Rey stepped closer, lowering her voice. “If you’re willing to hold out a couple more days, I can come back for you. I’ll figure out how to lower the rayshields, and I’ll—I’ll get in touch with Poe. He’ll come and get you.”

Leia opened her mouth to respond, but before she could—

\--the clip of footsteps rang down the hallway. Rey shoved her helmet on and slipped out the door just in time to run into General Hux.

“What’s going on here?” he asked, eyeing her up and down. “Where are the others?”

Rey had to bite her tongue not to ask the question that almost slipped out: _What are_ you _doing here?_ “I relieved them for a meal, sir,” she said instead.

“All of them?” His eyes flashed as he looked over her shoulder and took in the gap in the cell door. “What happened? Why were you inside?”

“Door malfunction,” Rey lied. “I was trying to detect if the prisoner was responsible.”

Hux’s cheeks turned scarlet red. “If you’re lying, _Knight_ , I’ll have you imprisoned for treason against the Supreme Leader. Out of my way.”

Rey blinked. He really thought he was going to get past her? _To Leia?_ “I’m afraid I can’t do that, sir.”

If possible, he turned ever redder. “What did you say?”

“I can’t let you pass. Supreme Leader’s orders.”

“You’re not even supposed to be here. If you don’t move at once—”

“Out for a walk, Armitage?” Ben appeared at the end of the corridor, his large form filling Rey’s view. She almost sagged against the wall in relief. As he strode toward her, she studied his face, which she hadn’t seen since the night she delivered the sleep aid. He was still a bit drawn, tired, and her heart ached for him.

Then Ben drew even with Hux. His eyes flashed in her direction, and something like gratitude flickered through them for the briefest instant. “What’s going on?” he asked, his voice soft.

“This _Knight_ —” Hux kept saying it like a dirty word “—was attempting to prevent me from seeing the prisoner.”

Ben raised his brows. “Was she?”

“Yes, my lord. And she insists it’s upon your orders.”

“Is that so.”

“ _Yes._ And when I commanded her to step aside, she refused.”

Ben turned to Rey once more. This time, the warmth in his gaze was unmistakable. He let out a long breath, and she felt his relief, too, though she couldn’t say how. She just knew. “Then I have to thank her,” he said.

Hux was stunned into momentary silence. Alas, it was all too brief. “But m-my lord—I _outrank_ her—”

“The Knights have no rank, Hux,” said Ben. “And you know very well I’ve commanded you to leave the prisoner alone.” Without a glance inside the cell, Ben stepped toward the control panel and pressed a few buttons. A second later, the cell door ground shut. “In fact, even getting the door open is a breach of security protocols. Perhaps you’re getting lax?”

“It was open before I got here! _She_ did it!” Hux shook his finger at Rey.

Ben’s eyebrow flicked up. The expression disappeared a moment later, but not before Rey read his skepticism. “Whatever you say.” Ben turned to her. “Azura. . .” His voice softened. “You’re dismissed.”

“My lord.” She bowed her head, heat rushing to her cheeks. It was hard not to glance over her shoulder as she inched down the hallway away from them. But it was even harder not to brush against Ben’s elbow, touch his arm, _somehow_ indicate that she supported him.

Cared for him.

The realization bit hard on Rey’s heels, urging her from the detention block out into the wider corridor. Of course she cared for him. Her lips still tingled with the memory of his kiss. Her heart hurt like it had been pricked with needles when he walked by. She felt sick with need to speak to him.

Dizziness washed over her, and she leaned against the wall, trying in vain to catch her breath.

She’d just promised Leia that she would provide an escape in a couple of days.

But what if she didn’t want to leave?

“Azura!”

The voice startled Rey to standing, blood rushing from her head. Abraxas and Nebarius came toward her down the corridor. When they got closer, Abraxas held up a tray of tiny sweets frosted in white. “We brought the biscuits,” he said. “What’d we miss?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Choya bread](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Choya_bread)
> 
> Okay, so not smutty yet, but just wait one more chapter... ;) I won't say more. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Hearing from you makes my day :D


	14. Not Dying in a Trash Compactor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
> 
> I have no excuse except that a lot of Plot decided to happen, and, well, I wanted it to be good. 
> 
> Here goes... I hope you enjoy!

As soon as she got back to her chambers, Rey dug out her comm link. It had taken her ages to shake Abraxas and Nebarius—not to mention the time Rey wasted bringing Hela some of the biscuits so she wouldn’t get suspicious. Now it was almost evening and Rey still hadn’t spoken to Poe.

She raised a hand to her temple as a spike of pain shot through it. Something was not quite right, but she couldn’t waste time on another trip to the medical ward. Not until she had a plan to get Leia out.

Determination settled over her like a mantle. Rey pressed a button to open the link. “Hello?”

She waited a long time for a response. When it came, it was incredulous and slightly irritated. “Rey? What the hell?”

“Poe.” She breathed out a sigh of relief. “Listen. We don’t have much time.”

“How did you get this comm channel? I gave this to Finn.”

“I . . . ran into him. Long story. Look, do you want to rescue Leia or not?”

Rey could practically hear Poe’s teeth grinding on the other side. “You have a lot of explaining to do. I still have a bruise from when you downed me.”

“Sorry.”

“And carting around an extremely pissed off Knight of Ren hasn’t exactly been fun.”

“I know.” Rey bit her lip. “Listen, Poe, I owe you an explanation. But first we need to get Leia out.”

“Can’t you just steal something? A TIE fighter?”

“Security has gotten a little tighter since you were here last,” said Rey. “Thanks for that.”

“No problem.” Poe didn’t linger over memories of his sojourn on the _Finalizer._ Rey could practically hear his commander mode slipping into place. “We caught rumors of your location, but I took them for a trap. Are you sure they’re not onto you?”

Rey hesitated. Hux seemed suspicious of her, but only because she was a Knight of Ren. And if Ben knew the truth . . . well, suffice it to say she probably wouldn’t be walking free. “I’m sure,” she said.

“All right. The Chancellor might have some ideas. Let me check in with her and get back to you.”

“Chancellor Jeth?” Rey asked. “What about the treaty?”

Poe’s voice turned dry. “You really think she gives a damn about it? No, it was just an act.”

“But . . .” Rey couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “If she’s caught, the First Order will destroy the Republic.”

“That’s the point,” said Poe. “Not to get caught.”

Rey’s headache swelled. This was even bigger than she’d realized. If she failed in rescuing Leia, and if the Third Republic was somehow implicated, it wouldn’t just mean the destruction of the Resistance. It could mean the death of thousands of innocent people. Perhaps millions. The First Order no longer had Starkiller, but their fleet was mighty. Hence the need for the treaty in the first place. “I have a bad feeling about this,” said Rey.

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you jumped in the middle,” said Poe bluntly.

Anger cleared Rey’s head. “Someone had to rescue Leia. If we wait any longer, who knows what Hux will do?”

“Hux? What about the _Supreme Leader_?” Poe’s voice dripped with disdain. “If the real Azura is any indication, living her life must be hell.”

Rey hesitated. Upon reflection, the last weeks had been the opposite. Aside from guarding Hux, Rey found she actually . . . _liked_ the Knights of Ren.

And their leader.

But she couldn’t exactly tell Poe that.

“It has to be today, Poe,” she said instead. “I’ve stalled as long as I can, but Hux is sniffing around. All I need is a ship. Can you do that?”

Poe grumbled something under his breath, then said: “Yes. I’ll relay more information when I have it. But don’t forget the part about your explanation. I’ve been looking forward to that.”

“Right,” said Rey, her stomach going queasy. Before signing off, she remembered something else. “Oh. By the way, Leia demoted you.”

“What?” said Poe from the other end of the link.

Rey clicked it off.

#

Kylo watched from his datapad as Hux paced around the bridge. The near-miss with Leia still hovered at the front of his mind. Add to that his anxiety over Rey’s illness and he felt confused enough to want to tear into something.

Training could help with that.

But he’d spent too much time in the training room already of late. He should be taking Dantalion’s advice and getting to know his Troopers. After all, he had never really blended with the First Order. Not when Snoke was alive, and not now.

As if Kylo’s thoughts had summoned it, Dantalion’s signal appeared on the small holoprojector atop Kylo’s desk. Kylo set his datapad aside and pulled the holo closer, answering the call. "Dantalion.” Kylo’s heart began to pound. “Have you found the Resistance?”

“Nice to see you, too. The answer is no, your highness.” Dantalion’s irritation was clear.

“Then why are you calling?” Kylo almost clicked him off.

“I thought you’d like an update all the same.” His voice turned distant. “Forgive my assumption that you’d appreciate a report from time to time. Goodbye, Supreme Leader.”

“Wait!”

Dantalion made a show of catching himself right before shutting down the projection. “Yes, your highness?”

“I’m sorry. Tell me what you know.”

Dantalion cocked his head. “What was that?”

“Tell me what you know,” Kylo ordered more loudly.

“No, no, the other bit. I’d like to hear it again, please.”

Kylo sighed. “I’m sorry,” he repeated through gritted teeth.

Dantalion grinned. “Apology accepted. Now, where was I . . .?”

“The Resistance.” Kylo was not amused.

“Ah, yes. My dear friends the desperate Resistance. It appears they are a bit less trusting than I thought. They asked us to deposit our run on the Golm asteroid belt. Very tricky flying, by the way.”

“I’m guessing you want me to congratulate the pilot,” said Kylo.

“Thank you,” Dantalion replied, bowing a little. “I did quite a fine job, if I do say so myself.”

Kylo shook his head. “Then what?” he asked.

“Then we left so they could come and pick everything up. They transferred the credits when we landed, so I think they have eyes on the location. If that’s true, they have to be on Bothawui Prime, or hiding in ships on the other side of it.”

“You think the drop location would be so near their base?”

“No, but I think someone must be stationed around here to send word of the new arrivals.” Dantalion glanced over his shoulder at something Kylo couldn’t see, then turned back to his handheld projector. “Not much time. I’ll skip to the good part.”

“Dantalion . . .”

“I got myself into a little fistfight over my share. The smugglers ejected me. I just climbed out of my escape pod on Bothawui. Happy?”

Kylo blinked. “You landed on an unknown planet with no idea where the Resistance might be located and no ship for extraction. So, no.”

“It’s not unknown. I already sent Abraxas my coordinates.”

“Dantalion! This operation is supposed to be _secret_.”

“He doesn’t know what they’re for,” said Dantalion. “And besides, he’s only going to come if I send “help!!!” with three exclamation points.”

“Glad you have a plan,” Kylo muttered. “I hope you have food and water rations.”

“Plenty, thank you. I’m touched by your concern.”

“Because if you die down there, we’re not coming for your body.”

“Don’t go all sentimental on me, highness. You were doing so well.” Dantalion grinned.

“I want another update tomorrow,” said Kylo, steering the conversation back to some semblance of order. “Let me know what you find.”

“Will do, sir.”

“And, Dantalion, do you have medicine? First aid?”

A frown creased Dantalion’s brow. “I assure you, my lord, I’m fine—”

“Not for you,” Kylo growled. “Just in case you . . . find anything.” He realized how strange it sounded as soon as the words were out, but it was too late to take them back. He thought of the heat on Rey’s skin that morning and waited with baited breath for the answer.

“Yes,” said Dantalion slowly. “I have something. Standard issue. Why?”

“No reason,” said Kylo quickly. “I’ll wait for your report.” He clicked off.

Pushing the holoprojector aside, he dug his fingers in his hair. Perhaps a day or two more, and he would find Rey. What would he say to her? How would he begin?

Would she even want to see him?

As the thought coalesced, he felt the bond opening. It took all his strength of will to shut it down. He stood from his desk, heart pounding. Had she felt him? Did she think he was reaching for her?

Would she reach back?

When nothing happened, he growled. Of course she wouldn’t. This back and forth was going to drive him mad.

His eyes caught on the Force Bond holocron. There was a way to stop all of this . . .

_No._ A voice in the back of his head cried out at the thought. Goosebumps formed on his arms, and a chill went through him. Every part of him rebelled at the thought of severing the bond.

That was _not_ a good sign.

Just as he turned to leave the room—perhaps he could still catch the Troopers at dinner and distract himself—a new signal pinged on his datapad. He turned, unfamiliar with the comm channel. “Hello?”

“Supreme Leader. This is Captain Amina Hawkins of the cruiser _Spirit of Dawn._ I’m requesting permission to send a shuttle over, sir.”

“A shuttle?” Kylo turned the cruiser’s name over in his mind, but it was unfamiliar. “A shuttle for whom?”

“Chancellor Yura Jeth, sir. She’s requesting an audience with you.”

#

Sweat broke out on Rey’s arms and back, making her leather suit stick uncomfortably to her skin by the time Poe contacted her back.

“Rey,” he said, his voice a low whisper.

“I’m here,” she whispered back, even though she was alone in her room. She caught herself, then spoke at a normal volume. “What’s the plan?”

“Chancellor Jeth is coming over on a shuttle.”

“What, now?” Rey’s voice cracked.

“Yes, now. I thought you said this was urgent?” Poe’s irritation was clear. “I told her you could get Leia to the shuttle while she distracts the Supreme Leader.”

Rey struggled for calm. “Why would you tell her that?”

“Because there was no Option B. If you want off that ship, Rey, you’ll get there. Okay?”

Rey mapped the _Finalizer_ in her mind. “Where’s she docking?”

“Hangar bay 51. Fifth level.” Poe sounded relieved. “I knew you could do it.”

“I never said I would do it. I asked where she was docking, that’s all.”

Poe ignored this. “You have a couple of hours at least. The Chancellor said to tell you that there’s a smuggling unit beneath the floor inside her shuttle. Leia should be secure there.”

“Why does the Chancellor of the Republic have a smuggling unit in her shuttle?” asked Rey.

“These are the questions we ask _after_ the rescue operation,” said Poe.

“But—”

“Just get there. If all goes according to plan, I’ll see you in person in a few hours, and we can talk then. Okay?”

Poe’s commander mode was on again. Apparently he had chosen to ignore his recent demotion. Rey felt a defensiveness she couldn’t explain as she mumbled, “Okay,” and the comm link went dead. It wasn’t until she stood in the silence of her room, staring at her maskless face in a mirror, that she realized what she felt.

She wanted to get Leia out.

She wasn’t so certain about herself.

#

Kylo hurried toward hangar bay 51. Outwardly, he kept a mask of blankness in place, but inwardly, he was almost grateful to Chancellor Yura Jeth. After all, she had provided him the perfect distraction from an otherwise maddening evening.

“What’s going on?” a familiar voice barked as Kylo rounded the corner. Hux stood, pale with fury, as the Chancellor’s shuttle made a soft landing.

“Chancellor Jeth has requested an audience,” said Kylo smoothly, relieving the poor officer who had been the recipient of Hux’s rage. “I’ve allowed it.”

“At such short notice, and on our thin shift? Supreme Leader, I highly recommend—”

“—that we refuse her? In violation of the treaty we just signed? No, General Hux, I think not. She might begin to think we’re hiding something, and we wouldn’t want that. Would we?” Kylo stared hard at Hux until the other man’s blue eyes flicked away.

Sullenly, Hux said, “No, my lord.”

At that moment, the Chancellor’s boarding ramp lowered. Dressed all in white, with her sunblind covering her eyes, she descended in a sweep of robes and regality. Various bodyguards wearing the blue uniform of the Republic Senate followed behind her. Light from overhead reflected off her silvery hair and cybernetic arms until she practically glowed in the dim hangar. She stood out from the ranks of white Stormtroopers like a queen surveying her army.

Kylo stepped forward. “Chancellor Jeth.”

“Supreme Leader.” Her voice was dry. Her face nodded up and down as she surveyed him from head to toe. It was a good trick, and he tried not to be intimidated. After all, he was the leader of the First Order. But she still made him feel a bit like an awkward boy.

Memories of state dinners on Coruscant, his mother tying starched neckcloths around his throat, surfaced unwanted as the Chancellor drew closer. Kylo shook them away. This was not then.

He was different now.

“May we retire? I confess I haven’t eaten. I was hoping to fall upon the hospitality of the First Order.” By the tone of her voice, the Chancellor didn’t sound as if she put much stock in said hospitality.

“Of course,” said Kylo smoothly. He could do this. He remembered the way his mother kept her voice pleasant, even when the most irritating Senators came to call. How strange, that he should benefit from that experience now. “This way.”

A few minutes later, they sat in the throne room, where Kylo ordered a table laid before the dais. A smaller chair was brought and placed beside him for the Chancellor. He suppressed his amusement as she took her seat. _Your move,_ he thought.

To his surprise, the Chancellor lifted her sunshield and looked up—way up—at him on his throne. Her pale white eyes were unsettling, but he caught a spark of amusement on her face. “It appears I’ve underestimated you, Supreme Leader,” she said.

The admission, as well as her open expression, caught him off guard. “I don’t know what you mean, Chancellor.”

“I think you do, but you’re either too polite or too proud to say it. The question is, which?”

“I’ve never been accused of being too polite in my entire life,” said Kylo honestly.

The Chancellor chuckled. “I’m sure that’s true. But I don’t think pride is your sin, either.” She tilted her head. “And I think we both know politeness is not always a good thing. Too much of it can be poison.” Her eyes shifted across the room to where Hux stood within the blast doors, whispering something to the Trooper beside him.

“That’s true,” said Kylo. “General Hux!”

The General came forward and bowed slightly, his face blanking. “Yes, my lord?”

“Go ensure our refreshments are on their way.”

“Yes, my lord.” He turned and left the room. The Trooper he’d been whispering to followed after him.

The Chancellor chuckled again. “I’d have someone taste any food that _he_ brings you,” she said.

Kylo almost twisted his lips at her unexpected dry humor. The feeling caught him off guard and made him immediately wary. He could not trust the Chancellor any more than any other statesperson. Yet she was clearly intelligent, keen-eyed, and . . . funny. In another life, he might have even enjoyed her observations. He imagined her at state dinners with his parents, her commentary irreverent enough to match Han’s.

_No,_ he told himself sternly. _That life is gone. Forever._

“Why are you here, Chancellor?” he asked abruptly.

The amusement left her face. She settled back in her chair. “I’ve come to discuss Leia’s trial.”

“I didn’t realize it was such an urgent matter.” He watched her closely. _You came without warning. Why?_

She sighed. “I’m being pressured by my Senators in the Core to show an image of her. They don’t believe she’s being kept unharmed.”

Kylo felt his skin heat. “They think she’s being tortured. Interrogated.”

The Chancellor’s eyes were pinned on his face. “Yes.”

Now was the time to regret knowing someone so keen-eyed. Kylo struggled to keep his anger hidden, swallowing the metal taste of it back down his throat. “I see.”

“I obviously do not agree.” The Chancellor’s voice lowered. “But not everyone knows of your true parentage. I could tell them to ease their suspicion, but . . .”

“No.” Kylo answered too quickly. Something flashed in the Chancellor’s eyes, and she saw she had her leverage. Curse her. She was too smart. Spreading the news wide of who his true parents were could result in a coup in the First Order. Yet she was threatening to do it if he didn’t allow her to see Leia.

She had him.

He took in a deep breath. “Let’s eat first,” he said. “Then we’ll talk.”

#

Rey reached detention block AA23 without any issues, unless she counted the soreness in her head, which felt so swollen she thought her mask would pop right off. _Medicine,_ she thought through the haze. _The Resistance will have medicine._

A distant memory from her Jakku days swam to the surface of her brain: Rey, curled up on the floor of her AT-AT; Teedo, some lackey of Unkar Plutt’s, feeding her a bitter tasting tonic from a bowl. The pain; her bones lighting on fire with every movement.

_I won’t let that happen,_ she thought.

The Troopers at the outer edge of the detention block nodded a greeting to her as she passed by. To her surprise, she felt a flash of guilt as she nodded back. They would be punished later, when it was known that she had escaped. She didn’t know what punishment looked like in the First Order, but she remembered the way Kylo had destroyed his room in a fit of rage and she feared for them.

But would he really hurt them? _Could_ he?

_No,_ another voice in her head answered. _Only himself._

She stumbled to a halt.

“Azura?” Nebarius appeared a moment later on the other side of the rayshields. Where had he come from? She glanced over his shoulder to where Abraxas and Zagan stood, their heads tilted in question. “What’s going on?”

Rey opened her mouth. Her throat constricted painfully. She cleared it and tried again. “Chancellor Jeth is here.”

Nebarius’s blond eyebrows shot toward his hairline. “What, now?”

Rey nodded. “Surprise visit.”

His eyes narrowed. “What’s she up to? This smells like a Rebel plot to me.”

“She didn’t say.” Rey said the first words that came to mind, though she could barely think through the pounding behind her skull. “I came as soon as I heard. Master Ren needs support.”

“Of course.” Nebarius crossed to the distant wall, already punching buttons to lower the shields. “We’re thinly staffed at this hour as it is. Most of the officers will be sleeping.”

“If you can spare Zagan and Abraxas . . .” Rey began, peering back to where they stood. By the confusion on their faces, she didn’t think they’d heard.

“Right away. Can you stay?” The rayshields dropped at that moment, and he waved her forward.

“Of course. Happy to help,” she said. He smiled, and she felt another twist of something like hurt. She blocked it out. No time for that.

“Change of plan,” Nebarius said when they reached the others. “Chancellor Jeth is here.”

“ _The_ Chancellor? Republic Chancellor?”

“Did you have someone else in mind?” Nebarius asked Zagan drily.

“No, but you have to admit, the woman has balls.” Zagan sounded almost impressed as he stood from him casual lean against Leia’s cell door.

“Do I?” Nebarius muttered. Then he glanced to Abraxas. “You coming? Azura said she can stay.”

“I should stay as well. Ren wants at least two of us on duty after . . .” Abraxas let his deep voice trail off meaningfully.

“Right.” Nebarius’s lips went flat. “Damned ginger rat.”

_Hux._ Of course. Ben _would_ be overprotective of his mother after the evening prior. Rey cursed her luck.

“Suit yourself,” said Zagan, already halfway down the corridor. “Neb?”

“Coming.” Nebarius touched Rey’s elbow. “Be back soon,” he said in a low voice before following after.

Rey blinked at Abraxas in the silence that followed. He dug in his pocket and pulled out a ten-sided die. As she watched, he tossed it in the air, letting it fall and settle in his weighty palm and whispering the number to himself as if playing some kind of solitary game. He went a few rounds before glancing up at her. “Odds are against us tonight,” he said. He sounded concerned.

“Odds of what?”

“Anything good.” His dark brow creased. “I don’t like it.”

“The Chancellor?”

“The Chancellor. Hux. Any of it.” He tossed the die one more time, then frowned even deeper at the result.

Rey took a step closer to him. Her heart was pounding as well as her head by now, and with each beat, her temples throbbed. Her palms were sweaty, yet she felt cold all over. There wasn’t time to make up stories anymore.

She slid her eyes toward the cell door. Leia was waiting.

“Everything all right?” Abraxas asked. He actually sounded concerned. He even pocketed the die, standing straighter and cocking his head. “You’ve been a bit . . . off lately.”

Rey swallowed. “I’m fine.”

“We all remember Mustafar,” Abraxas said quietly. “I saw things there . . .” He shivered. It was strange to see the trembling across his huge frame.

Rey couldn’t help herself. She knew she had to act, but the conversation lulled her. “Why did you go?” she asked.

He blinked at her. “What do you mean? You know why.”

“Tell me. In your own words.” It seemed suddenly important, crucially important, that she hear this.

He blinked at the ceiling above her head. “We all had our tragedies. You know that.” His eyes grew unfocused. “And when Luke found me . . . well, I was no better than the rest of you. Probably worse. You remember.”

Rey made a noncommittal sound.

“And before I started to speak, it was Master Ren who stayed with me. Meditated with me. Even when I was silent, day in, day out. He was always patient. The first word I said since my family died, I said to him.” Abraxas smiled. “I remember it. ‘Yes.’ ” He glanced down at Rey. “He’d asked me if I was hungry.”

Something strange was happening in Rey’s mask. The eyescreen was growing foggy. She realized a second later through the mist of her brain that she was tearing up. She stifled the emotion as quickly as she could, but not fast enough. A single tear escaped, sliding hotly down her cheek. _Something’s really wrong with me,_ she thought.

“So when we talked about leaving – and then all that happened with Master Luke, and we – well, you know the rest.” Abraxas shrugged. “I meant every word of my vows. I wasn’t exactly pleased when Snoke showed up, I’ll grant you that, but . . . if Master Ren was going to Mustafar, I sure as kriff wasn’t letting him go alone.”

Rey blinked. _That_ was the story of the Knights’ trial on Mustafar? It had been _Ben’s_ trial, ordered by Snoke, and the others—they went with him? To _protect_ him?

“Why did you go?” Abraxas asked her, breaking her from her stunned loop of chaotic thoughts.

Rey pictured the heat from Mustafar’s surface, the strain in her muscles, the electric pain shooting out from her bullet wound.

All these memories dulled beneath the shine of the vision she’d seen: herself and Ben, tangled up together, tenderness in his eyes so deep it made her ache.

“Because I had to,” she said, and the words came out hoarse and croaky. They sounded belittling, even though they were true. But Abraxas put his hand on her shoulder.

“I completely understand,” he said.

For the third time, a pang of guilt shot through Rey. She was truly addled now, by her illness or her emotions, she couldn’t say. All the same, she knew she had to move forward.

There was no more time.

“I’m sorry,” she told Abraxas.

His head tilted. “What for?”

She put her hand over his where it rested on her shoulder. “This.”

It wasn’t as difficult as it had been with Azura. Rey reached into his mind easily, perhaps because she was so determined not to hesitate. Her intent slipped through the cracks in his mental walls like shadow, and an instant later, his mind went black.

She pulled herself away as he collapsed toward her, managing to catch the weight of him with a grunt. Struggling, she lowered him slowly, so he wouldn’t injure his head. “I’m sorry,” she whispered again as she turned him onto his back. She waited until she saw his chest rise and fall before standing.

The cell door was her last barrier.

Any second now, she thought, her mysterious, ghostly helper would appear and open it again. It had worked before, right as Rey contemplated the bio-identification panel. She stared at it through the haze of pain in her mind, willing him to appear. Willing the door to open.

Nothing happened.

“Come on, come on,” she muttered. “Where are you?” But no response came.

What had he done last time? She remembered him closing his eyes and concentrating on the door, and then—bam. Open. Not all the way, just enough for a body to slip through.

Rey glanced up and down the hallway. Nothing.

With a sigh, she closed her eyes. _Perhaps I can do it myself,_ she thought.

Her barriers had been up tighter than the _Finalizer_ security, even as she slipped into Abraxas’s mind and knocked him out. She couldn’t risk Ben opening the bond at an unexpected moment and blowing her cover. So if she was going to use the Force to open Leia’s cell, it would have to be quick.

_Besides,_ she thought with another pang, _after this it won’t matter._

Rey sucked in a deep breath. Her throat tingled. Her tongue felt scratchy. _Concentrate._ She gathered all her energy—

\--and heard the _crunch_ of the door being forced open.

“It’s about time,” said Leia, staring up at Rey from the other side.

Then Leia’s face began to blur, and the hall went dark.

#

Kylo glanced up from his plate as Nebarius and Zagan slipped into the throne room. Both of them shot him imperceptible nods before stationing themselves at either side of the blast doors. They’d beaten Hux, who’d had the food delivered by a train of Troopers. Kylo didn’t want to admit it, but he felt relieved to see them.

Things had not been going well.

“Is something wrong, Supreme Leader?” the Chancellor asked as she picked at her plate of delicacies.

“Nothing,” said Kylo. “I’m just . . . enjoying the food.”

The Chancellor raised a pale, sculpted brow. Kylo had taken exactly one bite since the food arrived a few minutes earlier.

“I don’t usually eat at this time of night,” he clarified, cringing internally. He shifted in his throne. His back was starting to cramp from his awkward position, but he could hardly let her see that. She didn’t need more ammunition in this battle.

Just then, a wash of nausea went through him, and the room spun. The red banners of the First Order blended with the colorful spread on the table. His hands clenched into fists.

“Lord Ren?”

“I’m fine,” he growled, and the Chancellor sat back. But even as he spoke, Nebarius and Zagan took small steps away from the wall. Kylo shook his head sharply, and they stilled, but not before exchanging concerned glances. The room slowly settled back into place, but Kylo’s skin felt hot and prickly.

_Something’s wrong with Rey,_ he thought, and his heart jumped in his chest.

It was true. He didn’t know how he knew it, but neither did he doubt the knowledge. He stood from the table, knocking it with his thighs, and its legs scraped harshly along the floor. The Chancellor peered up at him. “Supreme Leader—”

“Zagan.” The eyepatched Knight stepped forward at Kylo’s command. “Take Chancellor Jeth to visit the prisoner. She gets five minutes. Keep track of whatever they discuss.”

“Yes, my lord.” Zagan bowed.

In any other situation, the surprise on Chancellor Jeth’s face would have been reward enough for the painful evening Kylo had endured thus far. Her mouth was hanging open when he said, “It’s always a pleasure, Chancellor.”

“But—my lord—”

Kylo walked away from the dais, ignoring her. “Nebarius,” he said when he reached the other Knight. “I need you to report to communications. Find out when and where our latest strikes against the Resistance have taken place. If we suspect any Resistance injuries or—” his voice tripped over the word “—casualties, I want to know.”

Nebarius’s eyes grew round, but he merely nodded and said, “Yes, my lord.”

Kylo didn’t even wait for him to turn and open the blast doors. He brushed past instead, pulling open the doors with a quick surge of Force power. The harsh scrape as they opened burned against his ears, but he hardly noticed. His head was full of one thought: _Rey._

_She has to be all right._

_Please let her be all right._

He reached his chambers in a daze. It didn’t take him long to pull up his holoprojector and call for Dantalion.

No response.

Kylo summoned him again, and again, until he pressed the signal button so hard it almost jammed, and he had to stop and take several deep breaths. He would be no good to her in a blind rage. Images of Rey with Azura’s knife in her stomach, blood dripping down her chin, paralyzed him. _No, no, no,_ he thought.

The answer came to him immediately, and it was so obvious he almost rapped his head against the wall.

_The bond._

His panic choked him as he tried to reach her, preventing him from getting through, and the surge of fear and wild terror that sailed after almost incapacitated him. It took all his will, all his training, to concentrate. The familiar feeling of tightness in his chest began to strengthen, and then—

“My lord.” The message came from Kylo’s wall panel. Nebarius’s voice. Kylo crossed the room in three strides, pressing it on.

 “Yes? What did you find out?” His heartbeat deafened him.

“It’s not the Resistance. It’s Leia. My lord . . . she’s gone.”

Kylo’s mind blanked like a light grenade had gone off inside his skull. “What?”

“Leia. The prisoner. She’s gone. And . . . Hux is missing.”

Kylo swayed a bit on his feet. “I’ll be right there.”

#

Rey woke to a pounding in her head that was nothing to the stinging of her cheek.

“Finally,” Leia said, relief crossing her features all too briefly before the familiar stoic determination took its place. “My palm was getting sore.”

Rey lifted a hand to find her mask gone—removed and thrown down on the floor beside her. The image of the hallway going dark returned vividly to her mind. “How long was I out?”

“A minute. Maybe two.” Leia cast a grim look behind Rey. They were no longer in the prison cell hallway, but instead in what seemed to be a closet for parts storage. Rey had no idea how Leia had gotten them there. “In other words, too long. We have to move. Can you stand?”

“Yes,” said Rey, with more surety than she felt. Leia held out the same hand that had been slapping her, and a moment later, Rey stood wobbling on her feet.

“Now.” Leia raised a brow. “Please tell me there’s a step two to this plan.”

“Chancellor Jeth’s shuttle,” said Rey. “Hangar bay 51.”

Leia closed her eyes in what looked like a brief prayer—for patience. “You involved the Chancellor.”

“It was Poe’s idea,” Rey said before she could stop herself.

Leia’s eyes popped open. “Of course. This has Commander Dameron written all over it.” Leia sighed. “Come on. I managed to drag you here before the commotion began. We’d better get moving.”

Rey retrieved her mask and slid it over her head. “I thought you demoted him?” she asked quietly as Leia cracked open the closet door.

“Oh, believe me, I did. Twice.” At Rey’s confused look, she added, “You weren’t awake yet.”

“Oh.”

Leia didn’t wait for more small talk. Peering left and right from the doorway, she sucked in a breath and shoved out into the hall. “This way.”

Rey followed on her heels. “How do you know where to go?” she asked in a whisper.

Leia shot a disappointed look over her shoulder. “You think I didn’t study the layout of the First Order fleet?” She shook her head, gray-brown tendrils of hair dragging over her shoulders. “I have them all memorized. I’m _not_ dying in a trash compactor.”

From the tone of her voice when she said that, Rey made a mental note to ask about trash compactors later.

_When we’re free,_ she thought.

The idea didn’t give her the sense of soaring happiness she might’ve expected a week earlier. But maybe that was due to the pounding in her head.

As if reading her mind, Leia asked, “What’s wrong with you, by the way?”

Rey wondered how to go about answering that question. _I’m Force Bound with my worst enemy_ could be a good place to start. But she said instead, “Sick with something. I’ll be fine.”

“Passing out and shivering in sweat isn’t my idea of fine,” said Leia simply. “Can you make it?”

“Of course I can.” It didn’t come out as convincing as Rey might have expected.

Luckily, there was no more time for Leia to question her. They reached an intersection with another hallway, dimly lit and winding toward the elevator they needed. In the opposite direction from the elevator, a pair of Stormtroopers lounged against the wall, murmuring something. Night shift.

“Blast,” said Leia at the sight of them. “Please tell me you have weapons.”

“Oh. Right.” Rey dug in her boot for one of her electro-plasma knives.

Leia’s face when she handed it over would’ve kept Azura angry for weeks. “Seriously?” Leia asked, unimpressed.

“You get used to it,” Rey said with a shrug.

Leia muttered something under her breath before taking the knife. “Okay, this isn’t going to be pretty—”

Before she could move, an alarm sounded near the Stormtroopers, jerking them to alertness. Rey jumped as the sound dug into her sensitive ears. The Troopers pressed something on their wrists—comm links—before nodding to one another and running down the hall, out of sight.

“That’s not good,” said Leia, “but it’ll have to do.” Still clutching the knife as if she would use it, she began to slink away from where the Stormtroopers had been, toward the elevator.

“Do you think they’re onto us?” Rey asked, her palms beginning to sweat beneath her gloves.

“Let’s just assume the answer is yes,” said Leia as they reached the elevator. She pushed a few buttons—the right ones, Rey noticed, impressed—and signaled for Rey to hide with her beside the elevator, so that they wouldn’t be visible when the doors opened.

It was fortunate they got out of sight, for when the elevator arrived a moment later, it wasn’t empty.

Two very familiar forms stepped out and hurried down the hall: one dark, one light.

“I don’t understand, Lord Ren. You’re telling me she isn’t here?”

If Ben heard Chancellor Jeth’s words, he didn’t show it. His pounding footsteps echoed off the durasteel as he flew down the hall. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, and Rey found herself almost grateful that she couldn’t see the expression on his face. She held her breath until he was out of sight.

Her lungs ached.

“Well,” said Leia, stepping into the elevator and staring at the point where Ben had been long after the doors slid shut on them. “There’s that, I guess.”

Rey wanted to say a word of comfort— _he’s not what you think, he’s different, I saw it—_ but a wave of confusing emotions overpowered her voice, sucking it away. The two of them stood in silence as the elevator began to drop.

Four floors. They were flour floors away. So close.

Rey watched with baited breath each time they passed a level. The distant sounds of the alarm rang each time they did, but no one ever got on.

_Thank Ri’ia. Thank Izax._

No sooner had she thought the name than Rey thought of Nebarius.

She remembered Abraxas, still and sleeping on the detention block floor. At least they would find him soon. And Hela—she wasn’t on shift that night. She was probably down in the training rooms, testing out her new favorite blade.

And would she want to test it on Rey, as soon as the truth came out?

The elevator jarred to an abrupt halt.

“Here goes nothing,” said Leia, with a crooked, bitter smile.

The doors slid open on the hangar bay. Distantly, Rey could hear the same alarm, but it wasn’t ringing here. Up ahead, the Chancellor’s shuttle waited in the center of the bay, surrounded by blue-uniformed Republic guards and a gaggle of white Stormtroopers.

Rey ushered Leia out of the elevator and behind a pile of recently-delivered supplies.

“Listen,” she whispered. “I can distract them, but not for long. You just need to get on board and inside the smuggler’s compartment. Apparently Yura Jeth has one, but I’m not sure where it is.”

Leia nodded, and for the first time, a ghost of her usual smile returned to her features. “Of course. Front left floor panel. A classic choice.”

“Oh.” There was a hint of sadness in Leia’s eyes, and Rey couldn’t help but think of the _Falcon._ Of Han. “Right.”

“What about you? How are you getting on board?”

“I’m sure I’ll think of something,” said Rey.

Leia looked skeptical. She opened her mouth, hesitated, closed it again. Then she narrowed her eyes, studying Rey with uncomfortable closeness. Even the heavy mask blocking Rey’s features didn’t feel like enough protection from that look. After a few seconds of intense scrutiny, Leia’s features gentled, eyes softening. She glanced toward the elevator, then back to Rey. “Never mind,” she said. “You’ll do what you have to do.”

Before Rey could respond to this puzzling statement, Leia was moving in a low crouch to the next batch of supplies.

Well, there was only one way to prove her right.

Rey stood, marching out as if she’d just come from the elevator. As her footsteps approached the shuttle, a wave of faces and white helmets turned her way.

“Halt,” said the nearest Republic Guard, a woman with short hair and thick arms. “What’s your purpose here?”

“You idiot,” said a Stormtrooper from behind her, stepping forward. “That’s Azura Ren. Of the Knights of Ren? You might’ve heard of them?” A few of his colleagues chuckled in a cluster behind him.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” said the guard, her voice bland.

“I’m here to notify you to prepare for departure,” said Rey. Her voice came out steadier than she’d imagined it. “The Chancellor will be returning shortly.”

“What’s with the alarm, Ren?” asked the Trooper.

“Practice drill,” she said. Did that come out too quickly? The Republic Guard was studying her with narrowed eyes.

The Troopers, on the other hand, were nudging each other and chuckling again. “Practice drill. Right. Good idea.”

“What do you mean?” Rey asked.

“Scares off the visitors, doesn’t it?” the Trooper whispered loudly, as if the Republic Guard weren’t a foot away. She rolled her eyes, then shifted her shoulders as if to demonstrate her lack of concern. Rey felt a little unsteady on her feet, but managed to straighten her spine.

“The Chancellor will be arriving momentarily,” she said, ignoring the Trooper, who only took this as a further sign of her agreement. He gathered the other Troopers over.

“Come on,” he said. “Look sharp. The _Chancellor’s_ coming.” He said it like the whole thing was a big joke.

The Guard sniffed, transferring her steely gaze to him before nodding to another Guard. They began to move away from the shuttle to form into a column, their faces stoic.

Behind them, Rey caught sight of a flash of gray.

As if seeing Rey’s gaze—which was impossible, considering the mask—the female Guard shot a quick glance over to the shuttle’s boarding ramp. At that same moment, Leia’s foot slipped out of sight onto the ship. Rey held her breath, head pounding, as the entirety of the hangar bay seemed to freeze in time.

Then the Guard turned back to her, stony-faced as ever.

Rey let out her breath.

A few moments later, the elevator arrived again, spitting out the Chancellor in her blinding white glory. She crossed the room in quick strides, a Stormtrooper at her side.

Rey began to feel the first flickerings of realization: this could work. _This would work._

Chancellor Jeth stopped at her side and looked her up and down. It was then that Rey knew. Yura Jeth was aware of her true identity, and she would do everything she could to get Rey on board and get that shuttle out of there.

“Azura Ren,” said Yura Jeth. “How good of you to see me off.”

Rey nodded in a slight bow. She should be sagging in relief. Instead, she felt as tense as if she were being pricked with a thousand needles.

“Walk with me,” said the Chancellor.

It was that easy.

But as Yura Jeth turned toward the shuttle, Rey hesitated. Her feet stuck to the hangar floor. Her head was heavy, but beneath that, it spun with a thousand contradictory feelings.

_I must leave. I can’t leave. I hate this place. I’ll miss this place. I can’t stay here. I’m needed here._

“Mistress Ren? Are you coming?” The Chancellor didn’t even bother to hide the impatience in her voice, and were it not for the sunshield lowered over her eyes, Rey was sure she’d be glaring up a storm.

Rey heard Leia’s voice: _You’ll do what you have to do._

She pictured Ben as she’d seen him just a few minutes earlier, his fists clenched, his body hunched as he walked down that hallway. Accompanied, but alone.

“No,” she said. The word surprised her, but not as much as it did Yura Jeth, who seemed to swell with impotent rage. “No,” Rey repeated, and a burden lifted from her, leaving the weightlessness of relief behind. “I’m staying here.”

“Is that so?” Yura Jeth asked. Her voice sliced through the air. A few of the Guards exchanged glances.

“Yes,” said Rey. “I’m staying here.” She swallowed against her scratchy throat, finding her voice. “This is where I need to be.”

Yura Jeth’s eyebrows rose, followed by her chin. Her sunshield reflected the overhead lights in a blaze of white, until staring at her made Rey’s eyes start to water. “Very well,” said the Chancellor, and her voice was cold and final. “Goodbye, Azura Ren.”

She turned and boarded her shuttle.

The blue-uniformed Guards followed after her, one behind another, the female Guard last of all. At the top of the boarding ramp, the Guard turned back, staring once more at Rey from across what felt like a great distance. Then she reached out and pressed the button to raise the ramp. It ground upward and clicked closed.

Silence.

“Good riddance,” said one of the Troopers as the shuttle lifted off and drifted toward the hangar doors.

Rey pulled herself from her stupor and nodded. “Right,” she said. Her relief dissolved into turmoil as the shuttle reached space and disappeared from view.

She hoped she hadn’t just made the worst mistake of her life.

No sooner had she thought it than a cold voice echoed across the hangar floor.

“How unfortunate. It seems the Chancellor has forgotten something.”

Rey turned to find herself facing a crowd of Stormtroopers.

And at their head was General Hux.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm becoming the Girl Who Cried Smut. I apologize! The characters just decided to Do Things without my consent and here we are. 
> 
> I'm going to stop trying to predict things and just go with the flow, but I will leave you with the promise that there WILL be smut eventually, so... prepare thyselves!
> 
> Thanks to all of you who read & kudos'd & reviewed. You make me smile wider with every word and, hopefully, write faster. :D
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day! I love you all <3


	15. Unmasked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and reviewing! You all made me want to write faster! :) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Rey crouched into a defensive position, assessing her odds.

The crowd of Stormtroopers behind Hux held a blaster each. At Rey’s sides, the Troopers who had been guarding the Chancellor’s shuttle were also armed with various melee weapons, some of them buzzing with electro-plasma.

She had two blades and an assortment of small knives, and she was surrounded.

A wave of pain rolled through her, starting at her shoulder. She managed to stay on her feet but had to close her eyes against a spinning room.

Through the haze of weakness, an odd sound echoed in her ears. _Laughter._

“You really think you can fight your way out?” Hux asked, amusement dripping from his voice. “I’m beginning to see why _he_ keeps you around. Entertainment at its finest.”

Rey opened her eyes. The room settled back into place. She took a steadying breath, reaching behind her to draw both blades from her back. She drew them out slowly, allowing their electro-plasma edges to light up and spark against their sheaths.

“I’m not a possession,” she said, her modulated growl filling the room. “I can’t be kept. But you may certainly try.” The blades weighed down her palms. She tightened her grip.

All humor dropped from Hux’s face. “Get her.”

Troopers came at Rey from both sides. She ducked beneath their attacks and managed to knock two of them down with the hilts of her swords. She didn’t want to hurt them—they were just following orders—but as the crowd rushed her, she knew her blades were her only chance. Sweat streamed down her temples as she sliced and cut, drawing on as much energy as she could without opening herself fully to the Force.

_I can still get out of this,_ she thought. _There’s still a chance he doesn’t know who I am—_

At that moment, a Trooper rushed her, and she had to fling herself out of his way. Her tender muscles screamed in agony as she hit the durasteel floor—hard. She rolled, ignoring the pain, but not quickly enough.

A boot came down on her chest, knocking her breath away.

An instant later, her weapons were dragged from her hands. The view up from the floor was a sea of white armor, white helmets, white stares.

Rey closed her eyes. She thought the first thing that came to mind—the only thing that mattered. _Ben._

She felt a faint stirring in response. She realized what she was doing—opening the bond—and part of her, the part that was tired of keeping this secret, longed to let him in.

Before she could, the sea of white before her parted, and hands lifted her roughly from the ground. The bond faded.

“Bring her to me,” said Hux. The Troopers half-dragged, half-marched her over to where Hux stood before throwing her to the ground. She landed hard on her knees, but she bit her lip so as not to cry out. She tasted blood.

Hux’s eyes searched her masked face, and something like pleasure twisted his lips. “Betrayed by his own Knights,” he said. “I can’t say I don’t appreciate the irony.”

“You’re wrong,” Rey said, craning her neck to stare up at him despite the ache in her head.

“It’s no use lying,” said Hux, his eyes alight. “I saw you escort our honored guest to the hangar bay.”

Rey blinked. Somehow she didn’t think he meant the Chancellor. “You waited,” she said as the realization hit. “You waited for her to take off, to escape. For what?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “To catch me?”

 Hux ignored her. “Take off her mask,” he said. “I want to look in her eyes for this.”

“No!” Rey struggled against the arms that pinned her down, but it was futile. There were too many of them, even counting the fact that she’d managed to down a few in her initial attack.

“Hold her!” Hux screamed, and someone came forward from the crowd with a pair of restraints in his hands. Hux nodded, and Rey felt her arms tugged brutally behind her. Pain like lightning shot through her injured shoulder. Before Rey could clear her head, her wrists were locked together.

“Not much of a fighter now, are you?” said Hux. “I believe you never take your mask off, isn’t that right? Well, for me, you will, Azura Ren. For me—” And he lifted his hands toward her face.

Rey tried to shake him off. Her head spiked with agony at each movement. Hux frowned, but he managed to get a grip on the sides of her mask anyway. “No—” Rey said again, but it came out weaker than she intended, and by then, it was too late.

The mask was gone.

If any pleasure was to be gained from this experience, it came from the look on Hux’s face as he dropped her mask to the floor. Shock, fear, rage, confusion—they danced through his eyes as he took in her features.

Rey lifted her chin. She felt blood from her lip dripping down it still. “Not who you expected?” she said.

Murmurs broke out in the crowd of Troopers. Hux’s lips thinned. His face grew pale, but his eyes blazed like blue fire. Then they dropped to her lip, and stayed there.

Slowly, with terrifying deliberateness, he smiled.

“Call a gathering of the admirals in the throne room,” said Hux, “and ensure that the Supreme Leader is there. I have someone he needs to meet.”  
_Ben._ Rey’s thoughts swam. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

A Trooper scampered away from the crowd and started muttering into his comm link. Hux’s eyes narrowed, and he tilted his head to study her more closely. “I think the last Jedi should be a bit more _presentable_ , don’t you?” He glanced up at the Troopers beside her, who shifted on their feet.

Rey spat on his shoes.

Hux stared at the glob of saliva on his otherwise perfectly-shined boots. When he glanced up, his eyes had frozen over. “You will regret that, Scavenger.” He nodded at the Troopers. “I’d advise you to start with the face.”

#

Kylo took in the bare, gray walls of his mother’s empty cell without really seeing them.

_Rey._ He’d felt her moments before, a kind of desperate brush against his mind. She needed him. Something was severely wrong. He clenched his hands into fists, resisting the urge to punch something.

_Keep it together,_ he told himself. _Concentrate. For both of them._

“I’m sorry, my lord,” said Zagan in a low voice from beside him. “It’s our fault. We left her—”

“Never mind.” Kylo turned to face him, putting the empty cell at his back. “Any news on Hux?”

“He was spotted trailing the Chancellor to the hangar bay. It appears . . . she may have departed, my lord.”

Kylo’s gut clenched. “Gather the Troopers you trust and meet us in the hangar bay. In the meantime, I want Nebarius and Hela there, _now._ ”

“Of course. Right away.” Zagan stepped aside, already speaking into his comm link.

Kylo turned back to the empty cell. Rey’s need, Leia’s disappearance—they were connected somehow. Had Hux engineered an attack on the Resistance base without telling him? Or he’d interrogated Leia, hurt her, until she revealed . . . ?

No. Kylo stabbed the thought. One thing he knew for certain: his mother would never break.

A groan from the floor summoned Kylo’s attention. He crossed swiftly to where Abraxas lay.

“You’re awake.”

“She’s going to escape—” Abraxas tried to sit up, but pain washed over his features, and Kylo pressed him back down.

“It’s all right,” said Kylo. “We know Leia’s gone. I don’t blame you. I just need to know who took her, and where.”

“Not Leia.” Abraxas lifted a hand to his temple and flinched. “Azura.”

Kylo blinked at him. “What?”

“My lord.” Zagan reappeared again, his face grim beneath his eyepatch. “It’s Hux. He’s summoned a meeting of the admirals in your throne room. He says . . .” His voice trailed off.

“What? What is it? What did he say?” Kylo barely managed not to clutch him by the collar and lift him bodily off the floor.

“He says there’s someone with him. Someone you need to see.”

Kylo stood from Abraxas’s side, his mind spinning. Surely, Hux could only mean Leia. A million mental images flooded him at once. Leia with bruises on her cheeks—blood on her lip—torn clothing—

“Get Abraxas to the medical ward,” Kylo said, his voice shaking despite his every effort to contain his emotion. “Then meet me in the throne room with the others.”

“No, my lord,” said Abraxas, using the wall to prop himself to standing. “I’m coming with you now.”

Kylo stared at him, the only sound his own ragged breathing. There was determination in the other man’s eyes, solid and true. “Very well,” said Kylo in almost a whisper, before turning and marching down the hall.

The throne room was packed by the time the three of them arrived. Hela and Nebarius were already waiting inside, and as Kylo came through the blast doors, they stepped forward, weapons in hand, to clear a path to the throne for him. He managed a brief nod of thanks, despite his pounding heart. A wash of nausea went through him, but he kept his steps steady.

As soon as he sat on the throne, the crowd grew still and quiet. Two of his four admirals had been holoprojected in on the edges of the room, while the other two seemed to have shuttled over quickly from their nearby vessels. Hughan and Rourke, the two present in person, exchanged cryptic glances as Kylo’s eyes skipped over where they stood. They were on edge, as were the Troopers and uniformed officers gathered around them. Tension crackled in the air like Force lightning.

It did not bode well.

A moment later, the sound of the blast doors opening made everyone jump. Hux strode through with an air of confidence, head held high, and Kylo ground his teeth together to keep from choking him right there. Behind Hux was an oddly lurching trio: two Stromtroopers, flanking a third person.

A figure dressed all in black, wearing a mask.

_Azura._

Hela hissed under her breath and took a step forward. Kylo raised a hand to stop her, and she grew still, but by the tension in her shoulders, she was using all her restraint to hold back. Kylo studied Azura again and realized why: the Knight was clearly unable to move properly, limping forward on her right foot, and there were a few flecks of blood on the black leather of her suit.

As if she’d been beaten.

“What is the meaning of this?” Kylo asked, his voice ringing across the room.

All faces turned to Hux, who smiled. “We have a traitor in our midst, Supreme Leader.” He turned to glance at Azura over his shoulder. “I have taken it upon myself to unmask her.”

Kylo’s stomach turned. “That is not your place.”

Hux turned back to face the throne. There was a shine to his eyes that was positively gleeful, and it made the hair stand up on Kylo’s arms. Kylo scanned the room one more time, making sure that the entourage of Troopers who had entered with Hux didn’t include Leia. He found only a wave of white.

Instead of the relief he expected, Kylo felt his nerves grow even more taut, like strings about to break.

Hux strode up behind Azura, shooing away the Troopers at her sides. For the first time, Kylo noticed she was restrained. His anger rose to a higher pitch. “Explain yourself,” he said.

Hux ignored this. He grabbed Azura by the shoulders and forced her to her knees, holding her there. Hela stepped forward again.

“Hux,” said Kylo again, throwing all his building rage behind the words. “If you value your life, you will tell me what’s going on. Now.”

Hux tilted his head, looking down his nose at Azura with a sneer on his lips. Then he glanced up toward the throne. “What is a proper punishment for the traitor who broke General Organa out of her cell?”

Kylo stilled. The _room_ stilled. “What are you saying?”

“I beg of you, my lord, answer the question. Your admirals, your army, want to know.” Hux glanced around, his hands never leaving Azura’s shoulders. As Kylo watched, his heart pounding in his skull, she swayed a bit where she knelt. Something was wrong.

“Naturally, if someone is found guilty of that crime, they will be suitably punished.”

“And what is a suitable punishment, my lord?” Hux had to grip Azura’s shoulders harder as she struggled, too weakly, to shake him off. After a moment, she stilled. “For something so grave?”

“It’s my responsibility to decide that, General, not yours.” Kylo’s voice came out far more even than he expected. At his side, Hela shifted her hand to the hilt of a blade sheathed at her waist. “Do you not think such a traitor merits the worst punishment the First Order can provide? After all, she would have betrayed your trust to the utmost.” Hux sounded breathless. “Do you not think, Supreme Leader, that such a disloyal action merits—death?”

Murmurs broke out around the room. Even Admiral Hughan, Kylo’s most practical officer, bent her head to the captain beside her and muttered something in his ear. The temperature in the room seemed to rise by a few degrees.

Kylo stared down at Hux, clenching his fists on the arm of his throne. _This_ was the man’s genius play. _This_ was his plan. To expose a Knight of Ren in public—and in so doing, to prove that the Supreme Leader was too weak to rule the First Order. It didn’t even matter if his allegations were true.

If Kylo appeared too merciful, the First Order might revolt against him.

“I have yet to see proof of what you claim,” said Kylo evenly. “But if what you say is true, then I think exile from the First Order would be the least consequence of such action.”

As he spoke, Nebarius shifted on his other side. Just a tiny movement, but enough to catch Kylo’s eye. His face was even more pale and drawn than usual, and as his eyes shifted to Kylo, they widened with meaning. _You can’t exile Azura,_ they said.

Kylo forced his gaze back to Hux.

“You would be lenient?” said Hux. “To the worst traitor of all?”

More murmurs filed the room. A few Stromtroopers shifted on their feet. Then the whispering stopped as all heads turned to Kylo, waiting for his answer.

That was the problem with hierarchies built on following the rules. If one person broke them, the whole thing could come tumbling down.

At that exact moment, Kylo wouldn’t have minded if it did.

He cleared his throat. “Tell me your proof. Then we’ll talk.”

Hux smiled. He knew Kylo would never let a Knight of Ren be executed. And by the pleasure that filled his slick grin, he had known it all along. “Well, then, if you would be merciful to a traitor,” Hux said, slowly and deliberately, “what will you do to our enemy?”

And with that, Hux yanked the mask from Azura’s head.

A collective gasp of surprise filled the room as straggly brown hair tumbled free from the mask’s embrace. _Brown._ That was the first thing Kylo noticed. _Not red. Azura’s hair is red._

He stared dumbly at that familiar brown hair as a dull roar broke out around the room. Beside him, Hela and Nebarius were frozen, as much in shock as he was, if the stillness of their bodies was any indication. Kylo’s head began to spin, and for the briefest moment, he was staring up at _himself,_ seeing the look of surprise on his own features. Seeing his gloves taut over his tense fists.

Seeing the rage fill his expression.

_Rey._

She had been beaten, that much was clear. One of her eyes was swollen and already bruising, and blood dripped down her chin. There was a red mark on her cheek that looked very much like the result of a slap, and Kylo vowed as he memorized it to cut off any hand that had given it to her. As he remembered her limping in, swaying on her knees, that rage turned into a white hot fire that burned its way through his veins and left nothing but numbness in its wake.

By the time he met her eyes, he was empty of sensation. A distant, buried part of him registered the appeal in her face. Through the bruises, she looked . . . agonized.

Apologetic.

The room blurred.

“My lord.” Nebarius turned his back on the proceedings to speak in Kylo’s ear. He had a grip on Kylo’s arm. They both seemed to be standing on the edge of the dais somehow.

“You can’t kill him,” Nebarius continued, his voice pitched so only Kylo could hear it. “Not publicly. If you do, everyone in this room will be against you.”

The words filtered slowly through Kylo’s numbness. His entire body was trembling. The sound of his own breath in his ear was louder than destroyer engines.

“ _Think,_ ” Nebarius pleaded. “You can’t get her out of here if the Troopers turn. Even with your skill, it’ll be hundreds—thousands—against five.”

Kylo sucked in another deafening breath. Nebarius was right. Damn him, he was right.

As if seeing the realization cross Kylo’s face, Nebarius let him go, then carefully stepped back to stand beside the throne. With an effort of will so strong it was almost painful, Kylo took one step backward, then two. Rey’s eyes followed his every move. He couldn’t meet her gaze. He would break if he did.

He sat down.

Hux took his retreat as capitulation. “As you see, my lord,” he called, raising his voice to be heard over the din of startled conversation. “It’s not Azura who has betrayed you. It’s the Scavenger. Our worst enemy. The Jedi.”

Kylo swallowed back a sour taste in his mouth.

“What will you do, Supreme Leader? Will you be merciful? Or will you end the Resistance right here?” Hux filled the room with his theatrics, capturing the attention of all the Troopers and admirals one by one until the room was silent again, rapt. Then he threw Rey forward, and because her hands were restrained, she couldn’t stop herself as she fell to the hard floor. Kylo heard her make a sound, a moan of pain, and for an instant, the room turned white, and he couldn’t breathe.

Kylo forced his eyes closed, feeling the weight of his lightsaber on his hip. He couldn’t show his rage—if he did, Hux would be nothing but a charred pile of bone and ash on the throne room floor. Then, exactly as Nebarius predicted, the admirals and the Troopers and the uniforms would mutiny, and it would be Kylo and his Knights against a star destroyer.

No. Kylo sucked in a breath that made his lungs ache, opening his eyes. His admirals watched with solemn patience, their faces unreadable. Some officers looked frightened, some determined, some confused. The Troopers, as usual, were blank. Hidden behind their masks.

After a few seconds had passed, Kylo turned back to face Hux. In the interim, Hux had pulled Rey up from the floor, and he held her again by the shoulders, so that she faced Kylo. The look of fear and sadness and rage on her face was enough to make Kylo almost lose it again.

But he caught himself at the last moment. Years of self-control, of will against pain, came to his service in that moment. He steadied his voice. “Very well,” he said to Hux, loud enough for the room to hear. “It is as you say, general. Tomorrow, she will die.”

#

_Tomorrow, she will die._ The words echoed in Rey’s skull even as the room broke out in shocked conversation once more. Hux’s hands tightened on her shoulders, but for the first time all evening, she didn’t feel pain. She felt nothing. Only a huge, gaping blackness where sensation should be.

She was probably beyond exhaustion, landing somewhere in the realm of shock. But none of that mattered. Because her vision on Mustafar had just come true.

And not the one she wanted.

“Ben,” she said, her voice croaky and wet. Her tongue felt too big for her mouth, yet that one word was enough to silence the room.

Ben looked at her. His eyes were black as death. The room shifted, and Rey thought she would drown in them. They pierced her like blaster bolts, and they hurt far worse.

“Ben,” she tried again, one last time because she couldn’t bear that expression on his face. “Please.”

“Ben?” Hux turned toward the throne. His lips tilted in amusement, like a pink scar across his chin. “Whoever can she mean, my lord?”

Ben’s throat bobbed up and down as he swallowed. There were two angry red marks on his cheeks, but otherwise, his skin was white as carven stone. His eyes shifted away from Rey, and her skin burned with the memory of them. “No one,” he said in a low voice.

Rey’s heart sank. It was over. He really did want her dead.

“Nebarius. Hela.” Ben raised his voice. “Take her to Leia’s cell. In the meantime, General Hux will explain to me why it’s currently empty.”

“That’s easy,” said Hux, refusing to relinquish Rey. “ _This one_ helped her escape. You’ve been falsely played, my lord. The treaty is broken.” Hux smiled.

Looking up at him, Rey’s despair turned to hot, molten anger. Hatred rose up in her gullet, tasting of blood, and before he could react, she flung her skull backward.

Right into his crotch.

“Argh!” He staggered backward. A Trooper came forward and backhanded Rey across the face, so hard that the room turned gray. But it was worth the pain, just to see Hux bent double with his eyes squeezed shut.

The Trooper lifted his hand again, but Nebarius moved forward and gripped his forearm in a grasp of steel. “Step away,” he said calmly. His knuckles were white.

“You trust them?” Hux said, his voice pitched a tad higher than usual. “They could be traitors, too! Who knows what’s behind her mask?” He pointed a trembling finger at Hela.

Hela turned toward him. “Touch my mask and you’ll be wearing it inside your ribcage as a decoration,” she said.

Hux gulped.

“No more masks are coming off today,” said Ben. Rey thought she heard a tremor in his voice, but she couldn’t bear to look at him. She kept her eyes on the floor, where a few more droplets of her blood fell into place, forming a gory constellation. Not much longer and she would have a galaxy. “Nebarius—” His voice almost broke on the word. Was he pleading? Pleading for her to be dragged away? She wanted to look. She almost did. But then she felt the Knights lifting her—Nebarius on one side, Hela on the other—and the crowded throne room fell away. They were being almost gentle, Rey thought, with a curious sense of distance from herself. As if they cared.

No sooner had the blast doors shut behind her than Rey let out her breath, and the hallway dissolved into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp... sorry for another cliffhanger, but things are about to get even more interesting!
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts :D


	16. We Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely, lovely comments on the last chapter!!!! It was fairly intense to write so I'm relieved that you enjoyed it. And thanks for sticking with me thus far. I had a lot of fun writing this installment (including a scene I've been looking forward to since day one, haha), so I hope you enjoy!! <3

It felt like hours before Kylo could leave the throne room. Nebarius would later claim it had been less than twenty minutes.

Each minute might as well have been a year off Kylo’s life.

His mind darted back and forth between remembering all the moments he had spent with Azura—the medical ward, the training room, _his_ _own chambers_ —and worrying about Rey. Her face had been bloodied, and she was limping, but something else was wrong. She could still be sick.

In his peripheral vision, Kylo caught Abraxas’s and Zagan’s meaningful glances, first to one another, then up at him. He ignored them, tapping his fingers on the arms of his throne as Hux droned on. When at last Hux paused to take a breath, Kylo interrupted. “That’s enough, General. Continue making preparations.” He stood. “I have to go interrogate the prisoner.”

Hux’s eyebrows shot up. “You’ll meet with her, my lord? Now?”

“She may have important information on the Resistance base,” said Kylo. He was surprised how evenly his voice came out. “We should extract it before she . . . before the execution.”

“Then I will accompany you.” Hux was already halfway to the blast doors.

“No.” Kylo spoke too quickly. He took a breath, then repeated, “No. You’re needed to prepare the execution. Make sure it will be broadcast everywhere.”

Hux hesitated. Kylo had offered the one thing he knew Hux craved—galaxy-wide acknowledgment of the First Order’s victory.

“It’s a task I would entrust to no one else,” Kylo added. He could practically see the decision wash over Hux’s face, colored by a splash of greed.

“Of course, my lord.” Hux bowed. “Consider it done.”

On shaking legs, Kylo marched down the dais and toward the doors, looking neither left nor right. Abraxas and Zagan fell into place behind him. He waited until they were outside and in the elevator to the detention block before speaking.

“Zagan, get to the medical ward. I want a med droid in that cell as fast as possible.”

“Of course, my lord.” Zagan stepped forward and hit the button to deposit him on the right floor. His face betrayed nothing. Kylo wondered if his Knights would rebel, too, before this was over—but he dismissed the thought for now.

One problem at a time.

“Abraxas,” said Kylo. “I want you to get to the waste and sanitation block and stop the scrap metal shipment for this evening. Bribe the pilot if you have to.” Kylo glanced at him. “Then stock that waste hauler for a cold-planet journey.”

“Right away, my lord.” If Abraxas found this a bizarre demand, he didn’t show it.

“Both of you, meet me back at the detention block in an hour.”

Zagan nodded acknowledgement as the elevator opened on the medical floor. A moment after his departure, the doors slid closed, and the elevator resumed its journey toward the detention block.

Abraxas broke his stoicism by sliding a few glances in Kylo’s direction.

“What is it?” Kylo asked at last through gritted teeth. This could be the moment when the schism began.

But Abraxas merely said, “Shouldn’t someone tell Dantalion? He’s going to be upset.”

Kylo turned to face him. “Why?”

 “Because he’s in love with Azura,” said Abraxas in tones of exaggerated patience.

“Because . . . what? What are you talking about?”

“He’s in love with her. Has been for ages. He’s going to wonder where the real Azura is.” Abraxas chewed on his lip. “And to be honest, my lord, so do I.”

“Of course.” Kylo cursed himself for being so slow. He’d noticed something between Dantalion and Azura himself, after all. He just hadn’t realized it had advanced so far. After Yavin, he’d done his best to stay out of his Knights’ personal lives. They all had their demons, after all, and Snoke had discouraged him from getting overly involved. “I’ll tell him.”

“Tell him what, my lord?”

“That she isn’t here,” Kylo snapped, then regretted it. He should be worried about Azura, too, after all. She was as much under his protection as the rest of them. “I’ll find out,” he said in conciliation. “I’ll let him know.”

Abraxas nodded once, but the silence that descended again was less comfortable than it had been before. There were a thousand things left unsaid, starting with, _What are you going to do about the Jedi?_

Kylo had an answer to that question, but his Knights weren’t going to like it.

An instant later, the elevator pinged on the detention floor. “One hour,” said Kylo. Abraxas nodded, and the doors slid open. Kylo stepped out into the hallway.

He couldn’t walk to the cell block fast enough.

#

Rey woke to four familiar gray walls.

Leia’s cell. They put her in Leia’s cell.

A strange sound echoed in the small chamber: laughter. The kind you might hear from someone who was a bit unhinged. It took Rey far too long to realize that the sound came from her own lips. She pressed them shut to make it stop.

Perhaps she _was_ coming unhinged. After all, that would be far preferable to reality. Reality meant that the First Order knew about her.

It meant that Ben Solo wanted her to die.

Rey groaned as she sat up. He body protested with a wave of all types of pain imaginable: throbbing, stabbing, aching, deep. Her skin felt hot—or cold. She could no longer tell.

If she was going to die tomorrow, she supposed a fever no longer mattered.

The gentle murmur of voices reached her through her cell door, which was cracked open. Swinging her legs down from the mattress with painful slowness, Rey managed to stand and shuffle toward the door. Her ankle twinged from the beating she’d received at the hands of Hux’s Troopers, but she managed to make out the dark forms of two Knights. Hela and Nebarius.

“There’s my Interceptor,” Hela was saying. “It’s never been tracked. But it’s not set up for hyperspeed—” She stopped, tilting her head. Rey froze.

Hela’s masked face turned slowly toward the crack in the door. “She’s awake.” Nebarius turned, too, and Rey’s stomach lurched horribly as she met his gaze. She expected accusation, betrayal, not—

\--concern.

“You shouldn’t be walking,” he said, pushing a few buttons to open her cell door all the way. “Here.” He reached for Rey’s elbow.

She flinched back. He froze, hands outstretched, confusion creasing his brow.

“You need to be sitting down,” he said, enunciating each word as if she were slightly mad.

Rey almost laughed again. That wouldn’t help.

“She’s in shock,” said Hela in a low growl. She stepped forward also, taking Rey by the arm despite Rey shrinking back. Hela’s grip was gentle but firm as she led Rey back to the mattress and all but pushed her down. “Sit. Rest. Even Jedi do that sometimes, right?”

Rey couldn’t read the tone of her voice. Was she sarcastic? Bitter? Or . . . oddly . . . friendly?

“Why bother healing me if you’re just going to kill me?” Rey asked.

Hela and Nebarius glanced at each other. Then Nebarius’s eyebrows rose. “You can’t think—” he began, only to be interrupted by the sound of footsteps hurrying down the hallway.

Rey knew the weight of those steps. The rhythm. She closed her eyes as a wave of nausea rolled over her.

She couldn’t face him.

Not like this.

Ben’s voice was quiet when his footsteps reached the cell, as if he were afraid to broach this new, heavy silence. “Wait outside,” he said.

Rey heard Nebarius and Hela leaving. “Wait—” she began, but it was too late. She opened her eyes.

The cell door slid shut.

She and Ben were alone.

His eyes raked over her like hot coals, leaving a trail of heat from her scraggly hair all the way down to her scuffed boots and back. When they settled on her face, she almost couldn’t bear it.

“I’m not going to tell you anything,” she said. Her voice came out cold, empty, and she felt a flash of pride. She could do this. She wouldn’t break.

Something flickered across his face. “You think I’m here to question you?”

“Why else would you be here?” She swallowed thickly as other explanations burst into her mind. “To gloat? To flaunt your victory in my face? Is that it?”

His eyes shuttered. “You need medical attention.”

Rey laughed. It came out bitter and hollow. “What’s the point?”

He flinched. For the briefest moment, his eyes fell closed, and his hands flexed at his side. What was he fighting against? The urge to kill her right now, himself? She felt her chest tightening as it did when the bond was open.

Ben took in a long breath. Was he feeling it, too? He seemed to pull himself inward, and a moment later, he opened his eyes. “How long have you been Azura?”

A different tactic, then. He was trying to get her talking. So be it. She could talk about that. “Since Naboo,” she said, savoring the shock that slipped through his carefully protected expression. His lips parted. She dragged her eyes away from them.

“Since Theed,” he repeated in disbelief. “Since the palace.”

“Yes.”

“You . . . you fought me in the training room. You’ve been sleeping _on this same ship._ ”

Rey fought the urge to smile at the incredulity in his voice. “Yes.”

Ben straightened, staring at her in utter surprise. Then a stormcloud engulfed his face. “You went to Mustafar.”

Rey hesitated. Why did he get so angry just then? “Yes,” she said, more slowly, less like a prideful declaration. She couldn’t read him. Not like this. There was something he wasn’t saying.

His eyes fell closed again. “You were shot. Attacked. You could’ve—you could’ve _died._ ”

“Why do you care?” Rey’s voice broke. Kriff, he was infuriating. Sentencing her to death one instant and in the next making her think . . . making her think he cared. She swallowed.

His eyes followed the movement of her throat before jumping back to her face. “You think I don’t care if you live or die.” It was like he’d pulled the thought from her head.

“Ordering my execution was a bit of a giveaway,” said Rey, her voice like acid. As soon as she spoke, she realized it wasn’t resentment toward him that was poisoning her tone.

It was anger at herself.

She _knew_ this would happen. She knew it before coming here. Deep down, Rey had always known. She’d learned the truth when she was a little girl.

People always abandon you in the end.

Ben turned aside, facing the wall. His fists clenched again as if he would punch the metal. His hair fell across his face, and Rey couldn’t see his expression, but his every muscle grew tense and taut where he stood. “I’ll kill him,” he said in a low growl. “And every last one of them who hurt you. I’ll—”

“What are you talking about?” Anger swelled in Rey’s chest. She was done with cryptic nonsense and half-fledged meaning. How dare he act like he had a stake in her protection?

“They hurt you,” Ben said bluntly. “They have to pay.”

“I can take care of myself, thanks.”

“You can’t even stand up.” Ben glanced sideways at her, running a hand over the back of his neck. His fingers were trembling.

“I can.” Rey summoned the last reserves of her strength—even, she admitted, calling on the Force to help her—in order to push herself up to standing. Her body protested, but anger fueled her. For a single triumphant moment, she stood tall, glaring up at him. Then her ankle faltered, and she stumbled forward.

Ben caught her effortlessly, holding her up by the elbows as if she weighed nothing at all. As their bodies made contact, the brief flicker of Force awareness within Rey blazed into a bonfire. She was a spark and he was tinder, and suddenly they were both aflame. It was different from when they touched hands on Ahch-To. She didn’t see anything of his future. But she could _feel him._

Concern. Fear. Desperation. These were on the surface, blaring like the First Order alarm. But as Rey shifted in Ben’s arms, looking up to meet his eyes, she felt more. Tenderness. Affection. A deep, abiding connection that meant loneliness was at an end. Beneath it all, a bedrock of something powerful, something almost frightening in its strength and intensity—

“What’s going on?” he said, his voice sharp. His hands tensed on her arms, but when she winced, he immediately gentled his hold, without letting her go.

“You feel it, too?” Rey asked, wonder filling her. Similar sensations came at her from Ben: awe, surprise, relief, but also—suspicion?

“I feel . . .” He tilted his head, studying her. Her skin heated at his gaze, but also because his arms were around her, warm and strong. Something flickered in his eyes as she began to blush. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “That’s impossible.”

Rey pressed deeper into his arms as Ben’s feelings cascaded over her. Doubt mixed with hope. He was a study in opposites. “I think I can feel what you’re feeling,” Rey said tentatively.

Ben shook his head, lost for words.

“And you can feel what I’m feeling,” she finished, and her cheeks grew even warmer at the thought. What would that be, exactly? Anger, attraction, sadness, attachment—he would think she was insane.

She glanced up at him. His lips parted in surprise, his eyes widening. His arms tensed at her movement, as if to stop her from pulling away—but she didn’t want to. Despite her better judgment, she wanted to pull closer to him, to rest her weary head against his chest.

A shimmering new emotion reached her then.

_Happiness._

It was so small, so weak, so uncertain—but it was there. Whether it was Ben’s or hers, she hardly knew.

“You do care,” she said.

A crease formed on his brow, and he studied her face with such intensity she thought his stare would leave marks. “Did you really think I didn’t?” he murmured.

Rey shook her head, wondering if she was in the middle of a delirious dream. “When you kissed me, I thought . . .” She didn’t know _what_ she thought. “But then just now, in the throne room, you looked like you wanted me dead.”

His voice grew low and insistent. “Thoughts of you consume my every waking moment. You follow me everywhere, all the time, always. I could reach across the galaxy to find you.” His eyes trailed down to her lips, and he stopped to swallow. “I told you before, Rey. Don’t you remember? When you fought Azura, and I thought you were dying.” His eyes darkened like stars going supernova. “You’re mine. And I’m yours.”

Rey’s throat was so dry she could hardly speak. But she felt the truth of Ben’s words through the Force bond. He meant every syllable. “I thought you were talking about killing me,” she said in disbelief.

His eyes flickered. “I know,” he said. And without another word, he bent and swept her up into his arms. She curled against his warmth as he walked toward the mattress. The muscles of his arms and chest were hard with tension, but he held her softly, so as not to jostle her injuries. His sincerity and determination washed over her, with a hint of insecurity underneath.

Rey’s eyes slipped closed. _I want to memorize this feeling_ , she thought, _just in case it never happens again._

The feeling of being safe. Being held.

He lay her down on the mattress with delicate tenderness, and Rey fought off a wave of sadness as they parted. “No more talking,” he said simply. “You need rest. But I promise you, no one will be killing you tomorrow.” His jaw hardened. “They’ll have to kill me first.”

#

Kylo stepped out reluctantly from Rey’s cell, punching buttons to shut the door behind him. Part of him wanted to stay with her, to curl up on that mattress that was far too small for both of them and pull her into his chest. There was an addicting quality to the way her emotions washed over him. He could feel them for hours before he believed that they were real.

She cared about him. She _wanted_ him. He felt it, just then, when she fell into his arms.

It seemed too good to be true.

Kylo glanced up from his thoughts, only to be met by a wall of staring faces.

His Knights.

Belatedly, Kylo remembered that it was possible to hear voices through that door.

He cleared his throat.

Before he could speak, Zagan stepped forward. “My lord. I have the med droid.” He pointed down the hall, where a black, globular droid hovered in the air.

“Diagnostics and skin repair?” Kylo asked. “That’s all you could get?”

“The others would attract too much attention,” said Zagan apologetically. “This’ll have to do for now.”

Kylo let out a huff of breath, then turned to face the control panel. “Very well.” He punched open the cell door again and waved the droid forward. As the door slid open, Rey caught his gaze. She looked as dazed as he felt. A flush rose up his neck as he explained, “Med droid. It’s not much, but at least it will tell us what’s wrong.”

The droid flew past him and hovered in the air above her mattress. Her eyes traced its path, then found Kylo’s again. She nodded. Was that a small smile on her lips? Hastily, he punched the door shut again and turned to face the Knights.

His flush grew hotter beneath their stares. An awkward silence descended. Kylo cleared his throat, his gaze jumping from Nebarius to Abraxas, who had returned from the waste hauler.

After too long a pause, he cleared his throat again and said, “I have to tell you something. You won’t like it.”

Silence. Nebarius and Zagan exchanged a look. Abraxas’s eyebrows rose. Hela sighed, lifting her mask to the ceiling.

“We know,” she said.

“What?” Kylo blinked at them. Where he’d been expecting surprise, he saw only mild interest and perhaps a bit of exasperation. “What are you talking about?”

“We’ve known for ages. Since the treaty,” said Abraxas.

Zagan shook his head. “No. Before that. I knew after Crait.”

Nebarius raised a hand. “I’ve known since he brought her back from Takodana.”

Kylo stared. “What are you talking about?” His heart beat rapidly in his ears.

“That you’re in love with the Jedi, of course.” Hela’s voice echoed in the metal hallway.

“ _What?_ ” Kylo stared at them, his throat going dry.

“The Jedi. We know you’re in love with her,” said Abraxas with deliberate slowness. “It’s all right, my lord. You don’t have to hide it.”

“I’m—I’m not—”

Zagan reached over and actually patted Kylo’s arm. Kylo stared at him as if he’d grown an extra limb. “We’ve had plenty of time to get used to the idea,” said the Knight. He was _grinning._ “And she’s not so bad, now that I’ve met her.”

“She’s insane,” said Hela in a low growl. “She came abroad an enemy ship, impersonated one of our closest friends, _for weeks_ , and almost died on Mustafar to prove herself to you.” There was a tense pause, and then she said: “I like her.”

Kylo let out his breath in surprise. For as long as he’d known Hela, she’d barely said more than three words at a time, much less “I” and “like” in the same sentence. The others seemed equally surprised. Nebarius clapped Kylo on the shoulder. “See? Everything’s going to be fine!” he said.

Kylo ground his teeth together. “That’s not what I was going to tell you.”

Nebarius’s face fell. “Oh.”

The others exchanged confused glances, and Abraxas asked, “Then what?”

“I’m going to break R— the Jedi out of here,” said Kylo, aiming for assuredness, though his mind was still spinning. “I won’t ask you to help me, but I wanted you to know.”

More confusion crossed the faces he could see. Hela regarded him coolly from behind her mask. “Why wouldn’t we help you?” she asked.

Kylo blinked. “It means leaving the First Order,” he explained. “Going on the run. I won’t ask that of you.”

“Why not?” asked Abraxas. “You think we like it here? You’d be doing us a favor.”

“We’ll be hunted across the galaxy,” said Kylo. “It’s dangerous.”

Abraxas blinked at him. A grin stretched across his face. “Is that a promise?”

Kylo looked at each of them in turn, expecting at least one of them to show a hint of sanity. Then again, as he reached Hela’s masked face and casual stance, he wondered why he’d look for such a thing amongst the Knights. After all, they had followed him this far.

Clearly sanity was not their defining trait.

“You can walk away now,” Kylo said, giving them one last chance. “I won't stop you.”

“Oh, no,” said Nebarius, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

Somehow Kylo didn’t think he was talking about the rescue.

“So, what’s the plan?” asked Hela. “Please tell me it involves killing Hux.”

“Not . . . exactly.” Kylo spoke through his disbelief, re-arranging his ideas for what would come next. They wanted to stay with him. To fight with him. Despite everything with Rey.

He would have to unpack that later. For now, they needed to move.

He straightened, eying each of them in turn. “Here’s what we’re going to do . . .”

#

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muahaha. As a reader, I hate cliffhangers, but as a writer, they are evilly fun to write. :) Sorry lovelies...
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts!


	17. Now is When You Make a Joke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay on this chapter! Your lovely comments were great motivators. I had a few things IRL that slowed me down, but I'm hoping to return to regularly scheduled updates after this. 
> 
> I read recently that a brief summary of where we left off might be helpful, so here goes: Rey is imprisoned before her impending execution by the First Order, while Kylo and the Knights have devised a plan to get her out. We return to Rey in her cell, getting checked over by a med droid... 
> 
> Enjoy ;)

“Ow!” Rey jerked away from the med droid’s pincers as they prodded into her back. “That hurts.”

The droid beeped unhelpfully.

“Can we be done now?” Rey had been poked, needled, analyzed, and scanned in every way a tiny, floating ball of metal could possibly conceive. She was starting to wonder if she wouldn’t have preferred Ben’s torture after all.

_Ben._ She softened as she remembered the way he’d held her, so delicately, letting the truth of his feelings wash over her. Even now, as he stood outside her cell door, she was painfully aware of his presence. Whether that was a product of her imagination or of the bond, she couldn’t say.

But when a light knock sounded on her cell door a moment later, she jerked upright, waving the droid away. “Come in.”

The door slid all the way open to accommodate Ben and three very curious Knights of Ren. Abraxas seemed to be missing. What Rey would previously have read as a shuttered expression on Ben’s face she now understood as infinitely more complex than that: the shadows beneath his eyes revealed his exhaustion and worry; the way he sucked in his lips revealed his nerves. It was strange to think she’d ever found him blank-faced.

“I want a diagnostics report sent to my private datapad,” he told the droid in a low voice.

It beeped and whirred in response before sailing over his head and away.

“I’m sure it’s nothing . . . serious . . .” Rey’s voice trailed off as Ben’s gaze landed on her once more. By the set of his jaw, she thought it best not to continue that particular protest.

“You look like death,” said Hela, breaking the tension, and Rey almost laughed.

“Thanks.”

“Zagan.” Ben’s growl snapped all their attention back to him. “Go to my chambers and pack up the contents of my desk. Meet us in the sanitation hangar when you’re finished.”

“Right away, my lord.” Zagan winked at Rey with his good eye before hurrying off after the med droid.

A moment later, Abraxas appeared, huffing for breath. “Found it, my lord,” he said, holding out a large black object.

Azura’s mask.

“Good.” Ben took the mask. “Go with Nebarius and ready my private shuttle. Hangar bay 53.”

“Very well.” Abraxas exchanged a nervous glance with Nebarius before the two of them started to leave. They paused just past the cell door. “My lord,” Abraxas added. “Be careful.”

Ben was quiet. When the Knights were out of earshot, he murmured, “You, too.”

“What are they talking about?” Rey asked Hela. Her temples began to throb again.

“I’m about to confer a very great honor upon you, Jedi,” said Hela. “Mind you don’t let it go to her head.” Her hands went up to her mask.

Rey held her breath.

Hela froze. “Turn around first,” she said. “I like you, but not _that_ much.”

“Oh.” Rey hurriedly turned her back to Hela and saw Ben in the corner of her vision doing the same. “I thought—”

She heard a rustling sound, and then for the first time she heard Hela’s voice as it normally was, without the growly modification of her mask. “It’s not seeing my face that is the honor,” Hela said. “It’s the wearing of it.” She sounded younger than Rey had expected, with slightly accented tones of smooth honey. And then she reached around Rey’s shoulders and deposited her helmet squarely in Rey’s arms.

Rey glanced sideways at Ben, careful not to let her curiosity overcome her, though she badly wanted to turn around. Ben handed back Azura’s mask to Hela without looking. “Put it on,” he said, nodding at the mask in Rey’s hands.

The truth of what was happening slipped through the fog of pain clouding her mind. “No,” she said. Her eyes dropped to Hela’s mask. “No,” she said, more loudly. “I see what you’re trying to do, but—”

“You don’t have a choice, Jedi,” said Hela. Her voice was back to its normal growl. Rey turned to find Azura’s twin: dark-clad, masked, familiar. It was like looking in a mirror. A keen eye might have noticed that Hela’s black leathers were sewn with different pockets, the stitching more careful and correct, and that there were no specks of blood on her pristine clothing. Or that she was a bit more solid in certain places, her muscular biceps cut thicker than Rey’s lean arms. But if they weren’t standing side by side . . .  

Hela nodded at the mask in Rey’s hands. “Put it on. You’ll like it. It’s a much finer make than this monstrosity.” She waved a hand at her own masked face.

Rey hesitated, but at Ben’s burning stare, she obeyed.

Hela was right. Her mask was much lighter than Azura’s, and it fit over Rey’s head like her leather suit fit against her skin. Her vision was much less limited, and there was a freedom of movement with it that Azura’s had not given her.

“You’re right,” said Rey. “This is . . . nice.”

“It is not ‘nice,’” said Hela with forced patience. “It’s dark and menacing. But since you can’t see it, I’ll let that pass.” She turned to face Ben. “My lord?”

Ben nodded once. “You know what to do.”

“Wait.” Rey held out a hand to stop Hela before she could leave. “I can’t let you sacrifice yourself for me.”

Hela glanced at Ben, then back at Rey. “Who said anything about sacrifice?”

Rey hesitated. Her knees were feeling a bit weak from all this standing, but she forced herself to focus. “You’re dressed as me. I’m dressed as you. I know how this works.”

“You’re with the Knights of Ren now, Jedi,” said Hela, and she sounded almost amused. “We don’t sacrifice. We win.”

“But—”

A second later, Hela was gone.

Rey turned to find Ben watching her with soft eyes. She wavered a little on her feet, and his hand came out to steady her, but she found the wall instead. His hand dropped. “Why are they doing this?” Rey asked in a small voice. “Why would they help me?”

“They seem to like you.”

Rey cocked her head. “I’m sorry, what?”

He shrugged, feigning casualness, but by contrast his gaze grew sharper and more intense. “You seem to have a way of winning over those who believed themselves immune.”

Rey couldn’t blink. She could barely swallow, caught as she was in his gaze. “Why do I have a feeling we’re not talking about the Knights anymore?”

His lips parted, but a sound in the hallway drew his attention away. Just like that, the moment faded. “Let’s go,” he said. “Stick beside me and don’t say anything.”

He stepped out into the hallway, giving her no chance to protest the abrupt change of subject. Despite what had passed between them, there was still so much more to be said. Like: _what does this mean for us? What happens now?_

But Ben was right. Those conversations could happen later.

For now, she had an execution to escape from.

#

Kylo tried to dull the feeling of Rey behind him. He had to concentrate. He had to focus on the plan, on getting her out of this. But her presence made that difficult. For one thing, he could feel the bond beneath everything, like a string tying them together. For another, each time she wavered on her feet, he wanted to pick her up and carry her himself.

That _might_ give the plan away.

He cleared his throat as they reached the battalion of Stormtroopers that had just arrived at the end of the hallway. Hux must have sent them over as soon as he heard how long Kylo was with the prisoner. He was watching them, just as he’d be watching Kylo’s personal shuttle or any other vehicles on the standard hangar bays.

Kylo hoped.

“My lord.” One of the Troopers stepped forward, bowing slightly. He turned and did the same to Hela. “My lady knight. We’re here to guard the prisoner.”

“Excellent,” said Kylo, praying that Hela had reached Abraxas and Nebarius by now. “We just left her. She’s not to be disturbed.”

“Yes, my lord.”

“Not even for General Hux.”

The Stormtrooper didn’t even hesitate. “No, my lord.”

Kylo looked him up and down, summoning his number from distant memory. AT-7841. Perhaps there were still some who were loyal to the Supreme Leader after all. “Thank you, AT-7841.”

The Trooper seemed startled that he was known to the Supreme Leader, for he didn’t immediately respond. Kylo didn’t wait for an answer, brushing past him and the other men to reach the hallway. He saw Rey give a slow nod to the group as she followed. She wore the mask well. It was strange to think by now she must be used to it.

Then, as they turned the corner, she stumbled a little on her weak ankle, smacking into his back.

He steadied her with a hand beneath her elbow. Her emotions washed over him: fear, pain, concentration. “Are you all right?” he asked, though the question seemed redundant after feeling all that.

“Fine,” she lied. No person could feel all that at once and be _fine._ But Kylo himself had told the same lie over and over again. So, out of a need to keep going, he let it pass. With great effort, he removed his hand, and the wave of emotions receded.

“We’re going to the elevator at the end of the hall,” he said.

“I can make it,” she insisted, her voice as stubborn as ever.

“I know,” he said simply, before turning and continuing on.

Behind him, she throbbed like a beating heart in his awareness. As he searched his own body, he felt aching ghosts of her pain. He sucked in his breath, and his lungs carried a dull burn—nothing terrible, but enough . . .

He jerked his thoughts back to the present as they reached the elevator. He would examine the bond later. For now, everything hinged on him getting this exactly right.

He pressed the call button. “Do you trust me?” he asked, without looking at her. The question almost stuck in his throat. He felt her regard shift to him as he might feel her touch.

“Yes,” she said. One simple word, but it changed everything.

A moment later, the elevator arrived.

#

When they stepped off the elevator onto the bridge, Rey felt her stomach twist. Hux stood up ahead, hands behind his back as he surveyed the stars through his transparisteel observation window. The sight of him was enough to dry out Rey’s throat. Anger burned in her chest. As much as her body ached, she would love nothing more than to have a lightsaber in her hand.

As if sensing her unease, Ben glanced at her over his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, but his hand came up and touched her lightly on the elbow. As it had earlier, the brief contact opened up their bond to its full power. Unlike before, however, Ben sent a very deliberate emotion through to her.

_Don’t worry._

It was so clear she could practically hear the words. She stumbled in surprise, breaking the contact. The thought faded, but the memory lingered. Ben—Ben was reassuring her.

He watched her, a line between his brows, as she steadied herself, and then he turned and marched toward the general.

“General Hux,” he said loudly, drawing the attention of all the nearby officers from their screens and control pads.

Hux turned around slowly. “Supreme Leader.” His blue eyes flickered with surprise as they scanned Rey up and down before returning to Ben. “What did you learn?”

“The Resistance is on Felucia,” said Ben. “Set a course for the planet immediately.”

Hux’s eyebrows shot up. A surprised murmur went around the bridge. It was fortunate everyone was so taken aback by the information, for they missed Rey flinching in surprise.

Felucia? She’d barely even heard of it, much less heard of the Resistance using it for a base.

“You’re certain?” Hux asked. He sounded shaken.

“I pulled it from the scavenger’s head myself.”

Rey flinched again. It was strange to hear Ben refer to her in such rough tones. What was he thinking? He shifted his weight, but otherwise his face was stoic, not a thought to be read there.

Then she remembered the message he’d sent through their bond. _Don’t worry._

_Do you trust me?_

_Yes._

She glanced around the bridge. Officers were scrambling to search for Felucia in their galactic systems database. Those who weren’t were talking excitedly amongst themselves, trying to recall what the surface of Felucia looked like.

Which meant they were all ignoring the screens on the far wall. The ones that had cameras focused on all the hangar bays.

Rey found the screen for Hangar Bay 53. Sure enough, three figures dressed in black were creeping across the bay as she watched. Abraxas and Nebarius had their knives out, crouching low to the ground, while Hela in Azura’s mask strutted confident as ever toward Ben’s personal shuttle. As Rey watched, she glanced right at the camera.

No one else seemed to notice.

“ . . . want a course charted in the next five minutes,” Hux was saying when Rey tuned back in. “And start warming up the cannons. We’re not taking any chances this time.”

The three black figures reached the shuttle and opened it up, climbing on board. Ben didn’t so much as glance in that direction, but his stance tightened.

“It’s a jungle planet,” he said, drawing Hux’s attention away from the nearest control panel. “We’ll need the Troopers equipped in camouflage.”

“Get the word out,” said Hux to the nearest officer, who nodded and immediately left the bridge. “It’s a pity,” Hux said as the bridge doors slid shut behind her. “We haven’t done hot weather training in a while.”

“I’m sure your army is more than capable of handling it,” said Ben. Beyond him, the engines of his personal shuttle fired up on the hangar bay screen. Rey held her breath.

Hux froze, but it was only to glare at Ben’s comment. “Don’t think I’m ignorant of your sarcasm—”

But he would never finish the thought.

An alarm sounded so loudly that Rey nearly fell over. Her ears began to ring, so she couldn’t make out what Hux screamed to the bridge.

The shuttle began to take off from the hangar.

“Close that hangar door immediately!” Hux’s sharp voice penetrated the numbness at last. “Don’t let that—”

Too late. Ben’s shuttle blasted out into the darkness of space.

Hux turned on the nearest officer. “Get fighters out immediately. And send Troopers to check on the prisoner. Though what bloody good it will do . . .” He turned to Ben. “Tell me your Knights don’t have the access codes to your personal shuttle.”

Ben blinked. If that was surprise, he was playing it well. “What are you suggesting, General?”

“They helped her before,” Hux spat, stepping closer so he was peering up into Ben’s eyes. “And if I find out they helped her again, there will be more than one execution tomorrow.”

Ben’s jaw shifted. “I think one will be sufficient.” Rey shivered at the chill in his tone. She didn’t need to be touching him to know what his words implied. His tone was laced with a barely-contained threat.

Hux ignored it, or wasn’t aware enough to pick it out. “What you think doesn’t matter anymore, _Supreme Leader_.” His voice got very low. “My officers will see to that.”

Ben’s fists clenched. Rey could tell he was an instant away from breaking. If he did, the ruse would be up. They couldn’t openly attack Hux in the middle of his own bridge—as tempting as that sounded right about now.

Summoning her strength, she stepped forward until her shoulder brushed against Ben’s arm. He stiffened and glanced over at her, a line appearing between his brows. Just as he had done to her earlier, Rey focused her concentration on a single thought. _Leave him. He’s not worth it._

 Ben’s brow cleared. His dark eyes trailed across her masked face, and then, ever-so-slightly, he nodded.

“Ready my interceptor,” he said to another officer on the bridge. “I’m going to get that ship.”

“The question is, will you have the strength to fire on your own people?” Hux asked, raising his voice so the entire bridge could hear.

Ben’s stare grew dark enough to engulf stars. “I assure you, general,” he said in a low growl. “I have strength enough for that.”

#

Kylo’s heart pounded in his ears as he led Rey off the bridge and back into the elevator. A trail of silent stares followed them out into the hall. Even if Hux was too stupid to recognize a threat, the officers beside him certainly weren’t. Their wide eyes and open mouths proved that.

“What now?” Rey asked as the elevator doors shut and they began to move down.

“Sanitation bay,” he said.

She sucked in a breath as if to ask more, but before she could, she swayed against the wall.

He ducked forward, catching her in his arms. “Are you all right?” He scanned her emotions to determine what was wrong. Fatigue, pain, soreness, were all at the forefront of her mind.

“I’m fine,” she lied again, and his hands convulsed on her shoulders of their own accord. She winced, and he lightened his touch.

She had no idea how much restraint it had taken him to walk out on Hux like that. When really, his every molecule cried out for revenge . . .

“You think I don’t know?” she asked in a croaky voice. Then she laughed, a bit breathlessly. “Trust me. I felt the same way.”

He dropped his hands from her in surprise. Fortunately, she propped herself upright with a hand on the elevator wall.

“It’s getting clearer,” she said in response to his stare. “Not just emotions anymore. Thoughts. Words.”

Kylo turned away so she wouldn’t see the confusion on his face. Having someone in his head—it wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed. At least, not before. Before, it had meant the destruction of everything he cared about.

But now—now was different.

This was _Rey._

“We’re here.” Her soft voice jerked him from his thoughts. He glanced up to find the elevator doors opening onto the sanitation bay.

“This way.” His voice came out gruffer than he intended, but she followed without protest. He led her into the darkness of the deserted bay, past waste haulers and trash compactor exit points, until they reached the interstellar waste hauler that carted off First Order metal and sold it for scrap. It was a large, bulky ship, with a huge rectangular cargo bay and jutting engines. The loading ramp was already down.

“My lord.” Zagan appeared at the base of the ramp. “I brought what you asked. She’s ready to go.”

“Excellent.” Kylo glanced sideways at Rey. “Once we’re on board, get to the med bay. I’ll find you when we’ve escaped.”

But she shook her head. “If you think I’m going to lie down and close my eyes while we’re escaping the First Order, you don’t know me at all.”

It had been worth a try. “Very well. But I want you sitting down and strapped in. Can you do that, at least?”

“I think so.” He could hear the damn grin in her voice through that bloody helmet. She stalked up the ramp, past Zagan, who raised his eyebrows over his eyepatch.

“She seems better,” he said.

Rey tripped at the top of the ramp, barely catching herself before she went down.

Kylo stepped forward automatically, but she was too far ahead. Zagan’s eyebrows grew even higher. “Or not,” he said slowly, his visible eye narrowing on Kylo’s face.

“She needs medical care. Which means we need to leave. Now.” Kylo stormed past his Knight, ignoring the questioning look on his face. Gossipmongers that they all were, Kylo knew they would notice every detail of his interaction with Rey. But that could be handled later.

First, they needed to get free.

Rey was already seated and strapped into the copilot’s chair when Kylo reached the cockpit. He took the pilot’s seat, ignoring the harness as he booted up the engines. The ship wasn’t nearly as sophisticated as what he was used to, which meant a clunkier navigation pane, but it was equipped for hyperspace travel. That was the most important thing.

“I’ll just stand back here with no straps, shall I?” Zagan asked from behind him.

“Get to the cargo bay and ready the tractor beam,” said Kylo.

“The tractor beam? For collecting scrap metal? I didn’t realize you had an environmentally conscious side, my lor—”

“Just do it,” Kylo snapped, and Zagan obeyed. Rey smothered what sounded like a chuckle beneath her helmet.

“We don’t have shields on this thing,” Kylo felt duty-bound to remind her. “If we take fire, I’ll have to surrender.”

She reached up and took off her mask, shaking out her hair. She looked tired and beaten and one of her eyes was black and swollen. But when she smiled, it made his chest hurt. “I’m not scared, if that’s what you’re trying to do,” she said. “Don’t you remember? I trust you.”

_I trust you._ The words twisted Kylo’s stomach as if she’d reached into his gut and squeezed. He turned away, concentrating on starting up the engines and opening the hangar doors. But it took him three tries to find the ignition.

_Concentrate, idiot,_ he told himself, and a moment later, they were taking off into the air.

As they navigated the hangar, he was intensely aware of Rey beside him. Her every shift and movement caught the corner of his eye. But then they reached space, and an entirely different set of instincts took over.

The waste hauler was unwieldy, but reliable, and its engines had power. In no time, Kylo took them straight down away from the star destroyer. When they were a good distance below, he swung the ship around until the cockpit pointed upright—right at the distant space battle taking place between his shuttle and a gaggle of TIE fighters.

“Your shuttle has laser cannons?” Rey asked, craning her next to see better. Kylo was stupidly proud at the awe in her voice.

“It’s been modified,” he said. He didn’t add, _by me,_ though he was tempted to.

She guessed anyway. “How did you get them mounted without interfering with the shields?”

He felt his ears getting hot and cursed himself for reacting in such a way to a stupid mechanical conversation. “Reworked the shield generator.”

Rey nodded, shifting her gaze back to him. “Smart. I can see it now.”

She’d called him smart. She’d never done that before. She watched him with an amused look on her face as he searched for a response, but none came to mind.

A buzz sounded on the ship’s comm system. Kylo jumped and flicked it on. “What is it?”

“Tractor beam’s up and running,” said Zagan. “There’s no need to shout.”

“Sorry.” Kylo glanced back up at the space battle, forcing himself to concentrate. “Be ready to open the tractor beam doors on my signal.”

Rey’s eyebrows lowered. “Are we expecting a metal delivery?” she asked wryly.

“In a sense,” said Kylo. He narrowed his eyes on the space battle. Any minute now . . .

There!

In a flash of starlight, the shuttle’s escape pod ejected, shooting straight down toward where they hovered below. One of the TIE fighters peeled off in pursuit, while they others continued fire at the shuttle.

“Kriff,” Kylo muttered as the TIE fighter began shooting on the escape pod. “Zagan, get ready! It’ll have to be quick.”

“You’re not saying—” Rey glanced from the pod back to Kylo. “Please tell me they’re not inside that thing.”

“I told you I'd never lie to you.” Kylo pressed a few buttons on the console.

Rey made a sound of disbelief. “Really? Now is when you make a joke?”

The escape pod spiraled ever closer. Fortunately for Nebarius, Abraxas, and Hela, who were meant to be inside, it was moving too quickly for the TIE fighter to lock on. Still, the small TIE continued pursuit.

After this, everyone would know which ship had carried off the prisoner.

Oh well. There was no time to change the plan. “Zagan, now!” Kylo called into the comm system. At the same moment, he slammed on the controls, jerking them around so the cargo bay faced the direction of the spiraling pod. The waste hauler rumbled as Zagan bumped the tractor beam up to full power. An instant later, the pod slipped out of view of the cockpit, and the grinding of metal against metal rocked the ship.

“They’re on!” said Zagan. “Closing doors now.”

Kylo rocketed forward on the controls, throwing both himself and Rey back in their seats. She made a small sound of pain, and he cursed himself for his clumsiness. A moment later, the ship rocked again with the impact of a blast from the TIE fighter.

A few red alerts popped up on the controls. Rey scanned them, making adjustments to pressure as Kylo focused on dodging another round of blows.

“Thanks,” he said as he spun them once more. The ship wasn’t exactly equipped for fancy movement, and it jerked her against her chair again. “Sorry.”

“If you apologize one more time, I’ll really start to worry,” she said. There was lightness in her tone, but her skin was a bit pale.  

“Now is when you make a joke?” he asked, and he was pleased to see a small smile flick across her lips. Satisfied, Kylo forced himself to look away from her and focus on getting them out of the firestorm. He flicked a few buttons on the left side of the panel, bringing up their charted course to Elom, where Sallos and Mara waited.

“Brace for hyperspace jump,” he said into the comm panel, hoping Zagan made sure the pod was in one piece.

“Bracing,” came Nebarius’s voice, and Kylo let out his breath. He turned to Rey.

She nodded.

He punched the controls.

The stars before them stretched into pure white lines, and an instant later, they left the First Order behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Please let me know your thoughts/comments/concerns. :) 
> 
> I'm going to see how the next chapter goes, but I may need to add a few more chapters to the total. If so, I'm sorry! It shouldn't be more than 25 at the max. We're nearing the end, but there's still a lot of important action (in all senses of the word) to go. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	18. Lost Children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears! Thank you all for your lovely kudos and comments. I really hope you enjoy this chapter. :)
> 
> A couple of things to note: in this chapter there are mentions of past neglect/mistreatment and slight mentions of an injection with a needle. If you'd prefer to avoid reading and get a summary from me instead, please leave a comment and I'll be in touch!
> 
> I didn't add to the tags because I think the past neglect is consistent with canon, but please let me know if you prefer it gets added.
> 
> That's enough from me... onward!

As the dull murmur of hyperspace engines settled around Rey, the full weight of what had just happened sunk in. 

Ben left the First Order. For her.

A hundred questions clambered up her throat. She turned, trying to choose the best one—“What now?” seemed like a good start—only to be interrupted by the arrival of four very loud Knights of Ren. She stood from her seat to face them, as did Ben.

“And _that’s_ why they call me the best pilot in the Order.” Nebarius grinned.

“No one’s ever called you that.” Hela’s growl rose above the clamor of their boots on the metal floor.

Nebarius frowned, but he recovered quickly. “Right.” He touched his nose with a knowing look. “Because we’re not in the Order anymore. Always so clever—”

“You were in an uncontrolled escape pod,” Zagan pointed out. “And everyone knows the best pilot is Dantalion.”

A look of wounded horror stole over Nebarius’s features. “You _dare_ —”

“Actually, it’s Hela,” said Abraxas. Then he reached out a fist, which—to Rey’s surprise—Hela obligingly bumped with her own gloved hand.

Zagan snorted. “I’d like to see _that_ race—”

“Enough.”

All heads turned toward Ben.

“Zagan. Where did you put my datapad?” Ben’s tone brooked no arguments.

“Med bay. Second door on the right, one deck below.”

“Good. Abraxas?”

“My lord?” Abraxas stood to attention, his dark head almost brushing the cockpit ceiling.

“You’re in charge for now. Arrange shifts so that there’s someone in the cockpit at all hours.”

“I will, my lord, but . . .”

Ben raised an eyebrow.

“ . . . what about you?” Abraxas finished.

“I’ll be in the med bay. We’re not to be disturbed.”

All the Knights now swung their heads in Rey’s direction. _Great._ She felt her cheeks heat despite her best efforts to remain unfazed.

“Right,” said Nebarius, a grin stretching across his face. “The Jedi could use some work.”

“The Jedi has a perfectly operational pair of ears,” said Rey. “And I’m more than capable of—” _taking care of myself,_ she was going to say. Except before she could get the words out, the room began to spin again, and she held out a hand to find her balance.

It collided with Ben’s arm.

His worry for her assaulted her senses. She sucked in a breath, which he must have interpreted as pain, because a moment later, her feet were swept from under her.

When the darkness at the edges of her vision cleared, she was staring up into Ben’s face.

A twinge of embarrassment leaked through his worry. She thought she saw a flush of red rising up his neck. But he lifted his eyes and glared down each of the Knights in turn, as if challenging them to comment.

None did.

“There are provisions in the galley,” he said in a low growl, already marching out of the room. He shifted Rey in his arms, bringing her closer to his chest, and she let her cheek rest against his warmth. When he spoke again, she both heard and felt his deep words. “And you’re all forgetting something. _I_ taught Dantalion how to fly.”

#

The cockpit doors slid shut on a stunned silence as Kylo marched down the hall. His hackles were still up, an instinctual and preemptive defense against the teasing he knew would come. Or worse, the mockery.

But instead, all he felt from Rey was a brush of affectionate amusement, curiosity, and—something else, quickly hid. “Is it true?” she asked in a quiet voice.

He glanced down at her, and his heart jerked inside his chest. He half expected her head to start bouncing off his torso, it was beating so hard. “Is what true?”

“You taught Dantalion how to fly?” She sounded genuinely interested. He digested this unexpected information. Did she actually want to know about his life—before?

“Yes,” he said, after a while. “When he first came to the academy, he was terrified of flying. Swore he would never set foot in a ship again.” Kylo shook his head, remembering the scrawny, dark-haired boy with his stubborn features and blazing blue eyes. “I was a few years older—fifteen, by then—and he picked me out as the person to beat. Tried to fight me every day.”

Rey shifted in his arms. She was light—too light. “I can relate to that,” she said.

“Very funny.” His voice was dry. But he felt a thread of genuine sympathy in her—and then he understood. A small, scrappy kid all on his own? Yes, she could relate to that. Too well.

A multitude of questions about her life before sprang to mind. But he pushed them back. Later. They would have time . . .

He cleared his throat. “That’s when I started the flight sims. I invited all the others, at first. We’d meet at the simulator in the evenings, before lights out, and practice for a couple of hours before L—before we were forced to turn it off.” He felt a curious ache in his chest as he remembered those evenings. All the others were jealous of the fact that he’d been allowed to co-pilot a real ship before. And not just any ship—the Millennium Falcon.

Rey must have felt something through the bond, because a warm rush of tenderness from her hit him in response. He almost dropped her in surprise. He blinked down at her upturned features, trying to decide if this was real.

She smiled. “You left him out? That was mean.”

“What?” Kylo had forgotten the thread of their conversation.

More affection from her. “Dantalion,” she said quietly.

“Ah.” With a huge effort, Kylo glanced away from her and kept moving toward the belowdeck stairs once more. Yet the tenderness didn’t go away. He felt it, like a warm embrace. It was wonderful . . .

. . . and utterly terrifying.

“Yes,” he said, his voice a bit rough. “I didn’t invite him. He tried to pick a fight about it, and I told him it was out of kindness. Because he was scared.”

“Hmm,” said Rey, a bit of disapproval in her voice.

“But we kept doing it—every night—and once, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him watching from outside the room. When he caught me looking, he was gone.” Kylo remembered how quickly the small, darting figure could move back then—hiding in the shadows. “And then later that same evening, when everyone else was asleep, I crept back to the simulator. Sure enough, he was there. Trying to figure out how to turn it on.” Amusement brought a smile to his lips.

Rey sucked in a breath. “What did you do next?”

“I told him how to use it, of course. And every night after that, when everyone else was sleeping, I met him there and taught him how to fly. He was obsessed. Wouldn’t let me miss a single evening.” Kylo shook his head. “I used to fall asleep during meditation. But at least he stopped picking fights.”

Rey was quiet. They reached the stairs, and Kylo shifted carefully sideways to protect her head from the narrow space. A swift glimpse of her face showed that her eyes had drifted closed.

“How did you do it?” she murmured. She must have been exhausted. Her tiredness crept across the bond. “How did you know he would change his mind?”

He paused at the bottom of the stairwell, unable to look away from her. “Because,” he said, “you always want what you can’t have.”

#

Rey jerked from her doze. Strange dreams of lost children and flight simulators crept to the back of her memory and faded entirely.

The first thing she noticed was that she was cold.

_Ben._ His arms were no longer around her. She couldn’t feel him—not the way that she could when they were touching. But there was still a sense of him, a brush of his presence in her mind, like a shadow in her peripheral vision.

She sat up.

Across the room, he lifted his head from his datapad. “You’re awake,” he said. He sounded surprised. He sat in a too-small chair, his long legs awkwardly bent to hold the datapad on his knees. Medical instruments lined the shelves above his head, and outdated ones at that. Clearly keeping their medbay up to scratch had not been the waste haulers’ top priority. There wasn’t even an old model med droid to boot up and ask for help. Besides Ben’s chair, the bed where she lay, and the shelves, there wasn’t much in the room at all. A small door led to a fresher, and another must’ve led out to the hallway, but that was about it.

“Sorry,” she said, her voice croaky. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“You needed it,” he said, looking back at the datapad. Rey took advantage of his distraction to study him. He, too, looked exhausted, with bags under his eyes and lines between his eyebrows. He was not happy about whatever he was looking at.

With a jolt, Rey remembered: her diagnosis.

“What is it?” she asked, her heart pounding in her head.

He didn’t look up. “You have a sprained ankle and two cracked ribs. No other broken bones. Plenty of bruising.”

Her body ached enough to verify that, but there was something he wasn’t saying. She remembered how sick she’d felt before the beating. “What else?” She held her breath.

He sighed, wiping a hand down his face. “Your shoulder’s infected. The bullet wound. From Mustafar.”

That’s when she recognized the strain on his face. _Guilt_. She didn’t need to be touching him to pick up on that. “Oh,” she said, shifting her left shoulder. It twinged.

“I found some bacta injections that should do the trick,” he said, waving to the shelf above him. “But I’ll have to take a look.”

“What?” She pulled the thin blanket up to cover herself, although she was still fully dressed. “That won’t be necessary,” she said.

“Rey. It is very necessary.”

“Just tell me what to do. I’ll give the shot myself.”

His lips tightened as he stood, putting the datapad aside. “This is non-negotiable.”

“Do I look like I’m negotiating? The answer is no.” She clutched the blanket closer to her chest.

His jaw worked as he stepped toward her, towering over the bed. She met his glare head-on. After a second, he rolled his eyes away and said, “Fine. I’ll ask Hela.” He started toward the door.

“No!” Rey’s voice turned desperate. She wanted Hela in here even less. The idea of the Knights seeing her wounded . . . vulnerable . . . it made her want to squirm.

The idea of being at _anyone’s_ mercy was hard enough to swallow. The little girl from Jakku still lived inside her, and she trusted very few.

But she trusted Ben.

He stared at her as if the infection had moved to her brain. “The shot needs to go in at your shoulder,” he said slowly. “Unless you’ve been hiding a secret talent, you can’t reach—”

“Fine,” Rey said quickly, feeling her fevered cheeks heat even more—with shame. She sat up, pushing back the blankets and dangling her feet over the edge of the bed, turning her back to him. “Just get it over with.”

He hesitated, then crossed in front of her to pull down the injection from the shelf. He tried to catch her eye, the crease on his forehead deepening, but she let her hair fall in front of her face, blocking him.

She gritted her teeth.

He sat down behind her, the thin mattress dipping a bit beneath his weight. He never touched her, but she felt the heat of him against her back. She shivered.

“I’m going to have to cut you out of your jacket,” he said. His voice sounded odd—strained.

“It’s fine,” she said hastily, bracing herself.

He didn’t move at first. She could hear only the sound of their breathing, mingled in perfect rhythm. Then she felt his fingers brush her shoulder.

He jerked back before she could get a sense of how he was feeling. But he seemed to have gotten enough of a sensation from her. His voice was full of shock when he said, “You’re _ashamed_?”

She curled away from him, refusing to turn around. His hands brushed her shoulders again, tentatively at first, then with a gentle firmness. He tried tugging her around to face him.

She didn’t move.

“Rey,” he said, his voice soft. To her utter and complete mortification, she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. He tugged her again.

She turned.

He frowned as he took in the tears in her eyes. Her face grew so hot she thought they would evaporate into steam on the spot. But contrary to what she expected from him, she felt concern, disbelief, and confusion through their bond.

It was all too much.

She pulled her shoulders free. His hands fell heavily to the bed as she scooted back to make room between them.

His frown deepened. “It’s not your fault,” he said. “I should never have sent you there.”

“It’s not that,” she said, lifting her eyes to the ceiling. She blinked rapidly until the ache in her throat went away.

“Then what?” He was confused. Almost angry.

For a moment, she considered lying. She could turn around, tell him to get on with it, and pretend this had never happened.

But he deserved more than that.

Rey took a shaky breath. Still speaking to a crack in the ceiling, she said, “When I worked for Unkar Plutt, we paid for our medical care in portions.”

Ben went very still.

“I got hurt all the time at first. I was still learning how to scavenge, and the others—well, they didn’t much care for the competition.”

“They hurt you.” Ben’s voice was flat and deadly.

Rey shrugged, still avoiding his gaze. “I don’t blame them. That was the way of things on Jakku. But Plutt . . .” A fresh wave of embarrassment almost choked the words. “He started to complain about how much I was costing him. Took more and more portions away. One night when I got nothing at all, I . . . I decided I’d never ask for help again. From anyone.” She gritted her teeth. Her hands knotted in her lap. “So you see . . . it’s very hard . . . for me to let myself rely on someone else. For a change.” There. The words were out. The crack in the ceiling blurred once more, but she swallowed back the tears, waiting with baited breath for his response.

“How old were you?” he asked, his voice a low murmur.

She shivered. “Seven.”

He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a lot of cursing and “I will kill him.” But then he went quiet. He was silent for so long that Rey risked a glance at his face.

The intensity she found there took her aback.

He moved closer to her on the bed, holding her gaze the whole time. She froze, uncertain whether she wanted to lean into him or move as far away as possible. Even her heartbeat seemed to stop in her chest.

Slowly, as if to avoid scaring her off, he lifted a gloved hand. He cupped her cheek, using the pad of his thumb to brush away her tear. The contact sent shockwaves of warmth through her, followed by soothing sensations that reached her through the bond. Compassion. Understanding. Tenderness.

And beneath them all, a fierce determination that formed into a single thought: _I will take care of you._

It was such a foreign concept to Rey that her skin jumped in heady anticipation. At the same time, her chest ached with a longing she hadn’t realized was in her. How desperately she wanted to believe him. Selfish as it made her feel . . .

. . . she wanted to be taken care of, and to offer her own protection in return.

He must have felt her yearning, because his eyes flashed with equal hunger, and all of a sudden the walls of the room seemed to shrink away. Rey’s awareness focused on the feel of his hand on her cheek, the warmth of his body, the bright light in her Force awareness that was him. All of him.

“Turn around,” he said gently. No longer a demand, but an invitation.

She did, exposing her back to him.

His fingers brushed against her shoulder. She shivered, not from discomfort this time, but from pleasure: with each touch, his promise grew in intensity. _Trust me. I’ll never let them hurt you again._

Something cold brushed her skin, and a moment later, she felt and heard the fabric of her jacket rip. A chill slid over her exposed left shoulder. With patient fingers, Ben peeled away the torn piece of jacket and sleeve and dropped it on the floor.

He sucked in his breath as he got a look at her wound. She felt a sharp wave of new anger and concern through his fingers as he trailed them around the center point of her pain.

“That bad?” she asked, trying for humor and falling short. She was almost frightened by how quickly she was relaxing into his hands.

“I’ve seen worse,” he said. A flash of guilt crept through to her all the same.

She reached up to where his hand rested on her shoulder, grabbing his wrist. “It’s not your fault,” she said, squeezing him to emphasize her words.

His guilt only intensified. “It is. I should never have sent you there. If I had known—”

“—then we would’ve had bigger problems.” She squeezed him once more, then dropped his hand. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”

“I no longer wonder why you took care of yourself,” he muttered. “I wonder instead how you put up with it. You’re not exactly the most willing patient.”

“Ben Solo,” she began, torn between amusement and indignation. "You really need to learn the appropriate time to make a joke _—”_ She gasped as a cold prick pierced her back. An instant later, a numbing sensation started from her shoulder wound and spread out from there, relaxing her tense muscles on its way. Her pain began to recede for the first time since the beating. She let out a sigh.

“I added a painkiller,” said Ben from behind her. “You need it.”

The room began to soften. Rey felt her headache ease and almost laughed in relief. She started to turn around, but froze as his touch returned to her shoulder.

His warm fingertrips trailed across her skin, over to her neck and down her spine. He traced each exposed vertebrae, making her tremble even while the medicine numbed her sensation. His fingers stopped where her breastband peeked over the leather of her torn jacket. For half a second, she thought they might dip even lower, and her entire body switched on like a light.

Then his hand fell away, and her stomach dropped with a swoop of disappointment.

“You need to rest,” he said. “That medicine will make you drowsy.”

“Don’t go,” she said before she could stop herself. So much for not relying on anyone. After the waves of affection he’d just sent her, she was starting to feel like an addict. She wanted his fingers to linger on her even as the medicine pulled her to sleep.

He stood and moved around the foot of the bed until he was in her line of vision. His eyes grew soft and dark, lingering on her lips as they made their way up to meet her gaze. A small, near-invisible smile crossed his lips. “I won’t,” he said. He moved the chair so he could sit closer to the head of the bed. “I’ll be right here.”

Rey lay back, her body growing heavier beneath the weight of the medicine. She pulled the blanket up to her chin as Ben retrieved his datapad and took his seat. He looked so ridiculous, overlarge as he was in the tiny chair. Her heart swelled with tenderness at the sight.

“Ben,” she whispered. He glanced up at her, a question in his eyes. Feeling brave—and perhaps aided by the medicine—she snaked a hand out from the blanket and captured his fingers in hers. “Thank you.”

His hand clenched convulsively in her grip. She felt a wave of some vast emotion roll off him, but he held it back before she could analyze it too deeply. Besides, her brain was feeling foggy. Her eyes started to fall closed.

Before she lost herself completely to the welcoming darkness, she heard the barest whisper of his reply. “You’re welcome, Rey.”

#

“What’s wrong?”

Kylo jumped at the sound of Rey’s voice. A few hours had passed since she fell asleep, and he’d been so absorbed in trying to contact Dantalion that he hadn’t even noticed she’d woken up. As he watched, she stretched on the mattress, blinking sleep from her eyes. Her back arched up off the bed, the blanket slipping down from her torn jacket.

His breath hitched in his throat.

For half an instant, he imagined what it would be like to witness this on a regular basis: Rey, waking up drowsy and content. He pictured the way her skin might feel, warm from sleep, and the softness of a bed big enough for both of them—

He forced the image away. Even considering their recent developments, it seemed too impossible to hope for. “It’s Dantalion,” he said, answering her question after far too long a silence. “I can’t get ahold of him.”

She frowned. “Where is he?” She started to push herself upright, but winced and slumped back down.

Kylo stood from his chair at once, leaning over her. “Be careful. I’ll help you up.”

“All right, all right.” She watched with amusement as he held out a hand, palm-up. For half a second, he thought she wouldn’t take it, but she slid her palm into his with deliberate slowness. He’d taken his gloves off as she slept, and so he felt the slide of her skin like a lick of flame against his. He pulled her upright, then forced himself to let go.

By the time she sat with her legs over the edge of the bed, her indulgent humor had changed to a thoughtful expression.

“What?” he asked. A hundred possibilities came to mind, each more likely than the last: she was embarrassed. She didn’t actually want him here. It had been the medicine, making her think and say things she didn’t actually believe—

But instead she said, “You’re holding back.”

“What?” He blinked at her, surprised.

“You’re holding back,” she repeated. She pointed at his hand, the one he’d just helped her up with. “I can tell, you know.”

He stared at his palm. “I don’t know what you—”

“Your feelings. You’re keeping them behind a—a wall, only it doesn’t quite work. It has . . . leaks.” She was frowning now, a crease between her brows.

His chest tightened with something close to panic, but he forced his voice to sound calm. “I don’t even know how it’s happening in the first place. How could I be controlling it?”

“You tell me.” She stood up as if to gain ground on him, glaring, but the effect was lessened by the fact that she wobbled on her hurt ankle and almost face-planted into his chest.

He steadied her with hands under her elbows. At the contact, her annoyance brushed against him, then flared steadily brighter.

“See?” she said, reaching out her hands to grip him at his waist. “You’re doing it right now!”

“I’m not doing anything,” he said through gritted teeth. This did not ease her irritation, which only continued to grow.

“I can’t feel you. I mean, I can feel you holding back, but that’s all.” She glared at him, digging her fingers in deeper to his side as if to snatch up his emotions in her grip. “Can you feel me?”

He stared down at her. “Yes.” His voice came out drier than he planned, but—if she could switch places with him, she’d understand. Not only was her annoyance at him so strong it was practically hitting him in the face, but her physical presence filled his senses, too. Her fingertips might as well have been made of flames, so much did they burn through his tunic to his skin. Her thighs brushed against his legs. The indignant breath she let out through her nose brushed lightly at the base of his neck. He could smell leather and the faintest scent of sharp citrus off her skin.

All he had to do was lean forward and they’d be pressed together, length to length.

Rey seemed to realize this an instant after he did, because a flush began to spread along her cheeks. She glanced down, no longer glaring at him, and shifted uneasily. “Oh,” she said.

His very unhelpful mind went to the moment when she had kissed him. Before, he thought she’d been avoiding him because she regretted it. But it only just now occurred to him that she had been in disguise. Which meant—

“Wait.” Rey’s fingers tightened on his hips. “I feel—”

He stepped back abruptly, severing the connection. _Idiot_ , he thought to himself. He should’ve know thoughts like that would get through. Flustered, he felt his neck grow warm, also. “You should clean up,” he said. “We’ll be arriving soon.”

She blinked, then turned abruptly to the side, but not fast enough: he saw her face fall. The sight confused him. Was it possible—could she be _disappointed_ that he pulled away?

She hugged herself. “You’re right,” she said. Her voice came out small.

“Wait.”

She froze. He froze, too. He hadn’t meant to speak. The word came out unbidden. But as she slowly turned to face him, one thought rose above the rest.

Rey might want what he wanted.

The only way to tell would be to let his walls down himself.

What a completely terrifying prospect.

“Yes?” she asked, watching him with an unreadable expression. Was she anticipatory? Hopeful? Or merely impatient, waiting for him to leave? He began to understand her frustration at not sensing his feelings.

He swallowed, bracing for her inevitable disappointment but unable to avoid testing his theory anyway. He stepped closer to her, waiting for her to step away. But she didn’t. She went very still.

“How are you feeling?” It seemed an obvious question, the only way to fill the now-tense silence. He stepped closer again, watching for a reaction.

She turned to face him again, dropping her arms. But her eyes remained guarded. “Better, actually. Although . . . it hurts to breathe.”

“Your ribs.” He hesitated, reaching out. She watched his hand, making no move to step away. Fine. He sucked in his breath.

Carefully, he brushed his hand down her side.

She shivered, her eyes falling closed. The bond flared to full strength between them, and he stiffened in surprise at what came through. Pleasure, desire, need.

She _wanted_ him to touch her.

As gently as he could, he trailed his hand back up her side, over her shoulder, along her freckled skin. He reached the puckered injury on her back and stepped even closer so his hands could circle the spot. Her breasts brushed his chest. Her adrenaline spiked at the contact—and he knew, because _he felt it_.

An instant later, his entire body thrummed with so much heat, he couldn’t tell where his ended and hers began.

Breaking the contact would break the spell, and he had to feel it to believe. He traced his fingers along the top of her shoulder to the base of her neck, curling his fingertips into her hair. She made a sound and tilted her head back into his wide palm. He stroked his fingers lightly up the back of her skull, tangling them into her hair. Then he paused.

Her eyes flicked open.

There was certainty there. Trust. Genuine desire. And Kylo knew all of these things were real, because the bond told him so.

“Of course they’re real,” she whispered.

“So you _can_ feel things.” His voice was full of wonder.

“Only when you want to kiss me, it seems,” she said. And then she snaked her hands around his back and pulled him down to her lips.

She tasted just as good as she smelled, rich and sweet and sharp. His lips tingled as they slid across hers. When she pressed her tongue into his mouth, he jumped in surprise, then eagerly leaned into the feeling. Her breath was hot against his neck. His hands spanned her waist, and suddenly he fought the urge to lift her onto the bed and—

“My lord?”

Kylo jumped away from her, shock electrifying him into movement. Across from him, Rey leaned back against the bed, her hand over her heart.

Silence crackled between them.

“My lord?” Nebarius’s voice came again, tentative, from the comm panel on the wall. Kylo turned toward it slowly, half-wishing his stare would burn it off the wall. “We’ll be landing soon. You wanted to be informed.”

Kylo sucked in a breath. In the corner of his eye, he saw Rey lick her lips and look away.

Summoning the reserves of his sanity, he marched to the wall and punched the panel on. “I’ll be right there.” His voice came out hoarser than he’d hoped, but compared to the riot of emotion inside him, he sounded almost calm.

“Very good, my lord.”

Kylo turned back to Rey, staring at her feet. The silence lengthened.

“Well,” she said after a while.

He risked a glance at her. Her cheeks were red, her hair even more mussed than before, but a spark of shy amusement flashed in her eyes. “Where are we going, again?” she asked.

He fought the strange desire to laugh. She was still talking to him. She was _joking_ with him.

“Elom,” he said instead. “It’s in the Outer Rim.”

“So . . . not Felucia.”

“You caught that?” Of course she had. She caught everything. His fingers flexed, itching with the urge to hold her again. “It’s on the opposite side of the galaxy. Hux will know by now that I’m involved somehow, but I hoped it would buy us some time.”

“Right.” She nodded. “Good thinking.”

His neck grew warm again at the compliment. The silence stretched again. He should go, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to lock the door and stay in this room forever.

“Ben.” Her voice was low. He met her eyes, and they were warm and wide and reassuring. “Go. I’ll be here if you need me.”

_I’ll always need you._ He had to bite back the words. They burned with truth, slicing him like a knife. But he managed to paste a neutral expression on his face. “Of course. I’ll . . . see you. Soon.”

Once outside the medbay, he let out a shaky breath.

He was completely screwed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Ben. I personally feel he has been screwed from day one, but I do love a good character realization. :D
> 
> And things might turn out better than he thinks. Never fear. 
> 
> I upped the chapter count to 25 for now. We still have a bit to go before the conclusion. Thank you for sticking with me and please let me know your thoughts!


	19. The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... 
> 
> ... 
> 
> ... I'm so sorry.
> 
> I'm going to be honest: life has been hitting me hard. I lost my writing spark for a while. But I never gave up on this story, and I wanted this chapter in particular to be done carefully. So, many months later, here it is! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has continued reading and reviewing. I'm hoping to get back into a regular posting schedule again after this. There's lots of action still to come, and we're nearing the climax! (Pun intended . . . he, he.)
> 
> Without further apologies or ado, please enjoy this chapter. <3

Rey stared at the medbay door as it closed behind Ben. She could feel him receding away from her, like a small flame carried down a darkened hall. He turned the corner to go up the stairs, and the flame flickered out.

But she was left with an intense awareness of him all the same. Her leather suit pressed uncomfortably against sensitive skin. She shivered at the memory of his fingers tangling in her hair, of his lips sliding against hers.

He’d really just kissed her.

She pressed her gloved fingers against her lips, wondering if she was about to wake up from a wonderful dream. But the ache of her cracked ribs and sprained ankle told her this world was very real. Even if it had just shifted utterly into an unfamiliar landscape.

She was hurtling through space with the ex-leader of the First Order, and all she could think about was the feel of his lips against her skin.

In a daze, she managed to find and turn on the fresher. Getting out of her clothes was harder, especially with her aching shoulder. Eventually, she cut herself out of the leather jacket, though she managed to salvage her tight-fitting pants. She tossed everything into a pile on the medbay floor, breastband included, and let out a sigh as she stepped beneath the hot water.

As she cleaned herself off beneath the warmth of rising steam, the water at her feet went from rusty brown-red to clear. After a long time, and a good scrub, she started to feel clean again. Still, the restless feeling inside her wouldn’t settle. What would she do if Ben came back?

Would she kiss him again?

Would he let her?

Rey slammed off the water. She had to think practically. Ben had a missing Knight of Ren to find, a First Order to hide from, and—and—and then what?

Her mind went blank.

She didn’t know what the future held.

She reached for a towel to dry herself off, and her vision from Mustafar flashed back to her: Ben and herself entwined, skin against skin. And the look in his eyes, tender without barriers.

One of her visions came true, she thought with a lurch of her heart. Maybe there was a chance—?

The crackling sound of an open commlink caused Rey to jump. She tugged her towel tightly around her, making sure to cover the most important bits. “Hello?”

The comm panel on the wall was dark, but a strained voice asked, “Rey?”

She glanced around. “Who’s there?”

“Rey, are you there?” It was a man’s voice, whispering. Familiar.

“Poe!” She dug through her pile of discarded clothing, finding the comm link she’d gotten from Finn so long ago on Mustafar. Sure enough, it blinked to show that the person on the other side had initiated communication. By some miracle, Hux had not discovered it when he caught Rey breaking Leia free.

“Rey, I swear to all the gods in the galaxy—”

“I’m here.” Rey dropped her voice to a whisper, moving as far from the medbay door as possible. “Calm down.”

“Calm down!” Poe’s voice rose. “Calm down, she says. I’m here, she says. Well, where _is_ here, exactly? Because it’s certainly not _back on the Resistance fleet where you’re supposed to be_.”

Rey’s stomach twisted. “I can explain.”

There was some rustling on the other end of the link, and then: “Rey?”

“Finn!” A bubble of happiness rose in Rey’s chest. “You’re all right!”

“I had to leave the station outside Mustafar. There’s some kind of schism happening in the First Order, and we weren’t ready to move. Hux has taken over . . .” Finn’s voice trailed off into uncertainty for a moment. “They’re saying all sorts of things.”

The bubble burst. Rey forced herself to sound calm when she said, “Like what?”

“Like Hux captured you,” said Poe, “and then Kylo Ren declared war on the First Order to save your life.”

“ _Which we know is a lie_ ,” Finn said, more to Poe than to her, judging by the insistence in his voice. Well, that and the fact that Poe immediately snorted in disbelief.

Rey swallowed, her throat going dry.

The warm daze that had settled over her since Ben’s kiss abruptly lifted. Like a storm clearing to reveal the bright blaze of the desert sun, Finn’s words threw Rey’s situation into sharp relief. Rey couldn’t help remembering Chancellor Yura Jeth’s face as she left Rey behind. _Goodbye, Azura Ren._ The cold in the Chancellor’s voice left little to be assumed.

Rey had been offered a place in the Resistance, and she had chosen a different path.

That had consequences.

“And Leia made it safely back here, thanks to you,” Finn said, oblivious to the sinking in Rey’s gut. “But now it’s your turn. Where can we pick you up?”

A lie rose so easily to Rey’s lips: she was still in disguise, she had an important place inside the First Order, she could continue to spy. She could prolong the illusion for a little longer. She could avoid the inevitable disappointment in Finn’s voice.

She sucked in a deep breath.

“Rey?” he asked, his voice tentative, then worried. “Are you still there?”

She made her decision. “Yes. I’m still here.”

Finn must’ve heard the steely resolution in her voice. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“I . . .” R’iia, it wasn’t easy to say. “I’m not coming, Finn.”

“No,” he said, more reassured now. “I mean, we’ll come and get _you._ We’ll get you out. Don’t worry.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I mean, I’m not coming back to the Resistance.” Her gut twisted as the words left her mouth. “At least, not right away. Not yet.”

_Not until I can bring Ben Solo with me._

The thought surprised her. She had never planned for this, not when she first took up Azura as a disguise. But as the determination settled over her, she realized that, deep down, it was what she’d wanted all along. Despite Crait. Despite everything.

She wanted to be where Ben was.

“What are you saying?” Finn asked slowly.

“I’m safe. I’m in good hands. That’s all I can tell you right now.”

“ _Good hands?_ Rey . . .” She heard confusion, but it cleared as he spoke again. “I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to sacrifice yourself. You don’t have to. We’re done spying.” He sounded more certain of himself, as if he’d talked his way back to normalcy. “You can come home.”

“Finn . . .” Rey felt an almost physical pain in her chest. That word, _home,_ bit into her like the jaws of a mythical loth-wolf. Finn _was_ her home. The first real home she’d ever known. The first person who came back for her.

When Finn returned for her on Starkiller Base, he’d shown her that she was worth saving.

Ben deserved that same knowledge.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice quavered, but she managed to get the words out. She swallowed. “I can’t come back. Not yet. There’s something I have to do.”

Finn’s confusion returned. “Like what? Kill Kylo Ren?” He hesitated, unsure for the first time. “You don’t have to do that alone.”

“It’s not that, Finn.” Rey summoned all her strength. “I don’t want to kill him. I want to _save_ him.”

Silence fell on the other end of the line.

“I’m sorry,” said Finn through gritted teeth. “You want to _what?_ ”

It hurt to breathe, and not only because of her cracked ribs. “There’s still good in him. I’ve seen it. Finn, he—he saved my life.”

For a moment, Rey thought she heard something at the medbay door. But when she glanced over, there was nothing. Just a trick of her mind—or the deafening silence on the other side of the comm link.

Finn’s reply was slow and stilted. “He’s a monster. A murderer. What’s he done to you, Rey?”

“Nothing.” She shook her head, forgetting that he couldn’t see her. She fiercely wished she could be sitting before her best friend right then, looking into his eyes. Holding his hands. Making him believe. “He would never hurt me.”

Finn caught the weight behind her words. “What makes you say that?”

Rey sighed. She hadn’t meant to tell him, but—if it would make him understand—“We’re bound. By the Force.”

“So this is some kind of wizardry. Something he’s done to you.”

“ _No,_ ” Rey said, more fiercely now. “It’s been like this since Takodana. Perhaps before. I just never realized. There are things about the Force I’ve never understood . . .”

“—And you think _Kylo Ren_ can teach you?” Finn’s voice grew quieter, muffled, as if he’d turned away from the comm link, or put a hand over his mouth. “He killed his own father, Rey. You can’t trust him. No matter what he tells you.”

Rey clutched desperately at something, _anything,_ that would make him listen. “Finn, he’s the best Force user in the galaxy. We could turn him. If he could be convinced to fight for the Resistance—”

But Finn’s low growl cut her off. “We already had the best Force user in the galaxy on our side.” His voice was determined. “Her name was Rey, and I _thought_ she was my best friend.”

Crackling. Rustling. Then the comm link went quiet.

“Finn, wait—” Rey sat down hard on the medbay table, clutching the link to her chest. The metallic tang of tears rose inside her throat. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. She was supposed to explain how it felt to be connected to someone through the Force—the beauty of it, the wonder—and Finn, the person who knew her best, was supposed to smile and tell her it was going to be okay. He was supposed to understand.

How selfish she was, how stupid, to think this wouldn’t hurt him—and, indeed, everyone in the Resistance. The pain the First Order had inflicted upon Finn alone—tearing him from his family—was unforgiveable. And Ben represented everything Snoke had worked for. He was Snoke’s creation.

_No,_ said a voice in her head. _Not Ben Solo._

_Kylo Ren._

Rey shivered. Even at the thought of Ben’s other self, the connection flared to life. Her awareness of him strengthened, coating her with warmth. _Ben Ben Ben_ , said the beat of her heart. It was almost as if—

Rey turned.

The medbay door slid open.

Ben stood on the other side, and by the shuttered look on his face, he had heard every word.

Rey’s stomach dropped.

“He’s gone,” said Poe’s voice from the comm link. Rey flinched. “Finn’s gone. I’m sorry, Rey.”

Ben’s eyes flicked to her wrist, then away. Rey felt a pain like a crack in her heart.

“I’m sorry, too,” she told Poe, though she never took her eyes off Ben. “I have to go.” She switched off the comm link and lowered her wrist.

 After a while, Ben said, “We’re landing. I thought you’d want to know.”

“I’m sorry,” Rey said, jumping upright. She forgot about the towel, reaching toward him, but had to drop her hand to keep it from falling down. “Ben. Please.”

He turned away from her, glancing back over his shoulder to speak. “The Stormtrooper said nothing that isn’t true.”

“He’s not a Stormtrooper anymore,” said Rey, anger rising. “Just like you’re no longer Kylo Ren.”

He whirled back to face her. His wide form filled the doorway, and this close to him, she could see his nostrils flare as he breathed. “You’re wrong,” he said, his voice a low growl, and Rey flinched again. “I _am_ a murderer. I _am_ a monster.” His tone was brutal, honest, but his eyes were dark with unreadable emotion. “I _am_ Kylo Ren. Who else could I possibly be?”

And with that, he turned, leaving her in the emptiness of the medbay once more.

#

When he reached the storage room of the waste hauler, as far from the medbay as he could get, Kylo punched the wall.

It buckled around his fist. Without knowing it, he’d pulled the Force into his grip. Either that, or the ship was more decrepit than he thought. He jerked backward, glancing down at his hand. He’d shredded the leather over his knuckles. A dark welling of blood seeped through.

No matter. The pain made him even stronger. It was what he’d always learned, time after time. Life taught him that lesson far before Snoke had reinforced it. And here it was, resurfacing again.

Kylo turned away from the broken wall to face the viewport onto Elom. Snowflakes raged around the ship,, transforming his view into a cascade of silver and white. It reminded him so much of that day on Starkiller, in the forest, when he fought Rey.

He sighed, seeing shapes in the swirling snow. Luke’s face looking down on him from above, soft and disappointed. His mother’s eyes, boring into him from across her cell.

His father, a tenderness like apologies in his smile.

Kylo closed his eyes, and everything faded.

So Rey wanted to turn him. That’s why she was here.

_Of course,_ said the voice in his head. _What other reason could there be?_

That was the part that hurt most of all, he thought. It had been easier when she called him a monster, though he never would have said so before. At least then she knew the darkest part of him.

Now, she wished for a person who was never coming back.

#

Rey hurried through the medbay door after Ben’s retreating back. She was a step away from running after him, towel be damned, and _making_ him listen—

“I wouldn’t recommend it.”

She jumped, turning to face the newest arrival: her strange, ghostly helper from Mustafar. He stood beside the medbay table, wearing a look of faint amusement on his transparent features. Despite his blue translucence, he looked so _real._

“Believe me,” he said, “all arguments lose credence when made without clothes.” His eyes sparked. “Just ask my wife.”

Rey’s mouth fell open. For a moment, her sadness and anger gave way to shock. “You have a _wife?_ ”

“I had one, once.” Emotions crossed his face like clouds passing over the moon. Affection, longing, heartbreak. There, at the end, a kind of self-loathing so deep it was almost frightening.

And familiar.

Rey narrowed her eyes at him, stepping closer. The realization hit her all at once. “Are you—are you related to Ben?”

His chin dipped, and he studied her with his intense blue gaze. “Now you’re catching on.”

Rey tightened the towel around her, feeling irritation spike in her blood. “You don’t have to sound so gratified. This would be a lot easier if you just told me things like that straight out.”

“My name is Anakin Skywalker,” he said calmly. “I’m his grandfather.”

_Skywalker._ The name rattled Rey’s bones, and she could only stare. Distant stories that had drifted around the galaxy in her childhood rose to the surface of her mind. A Jedi knight had been responsible for the fall of the Republic. He’d slaughtered his own people. The father of Luke and Leia.

“Darth Vader,” said Rey, fear leaking into her voice despite her best efforts. “You’re _Darth Vader?_ ”

He closed his eyes in a quest for patience. “I prefer Anakin now.”

Four simple words. They weren’t enough. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” Rey cast her eyes around the room, looking for a weapon. In the corner, she saw a bag of Ben’s things, her unfinished lightsaber sticking out.

It might not even turn on, but it was something.

Then again, how could she defend herself against a ghost?

When she glanced back at Anakin, he looked decidedly unamused. “I’ll give you a hint: you can’t.”

“Are you reading my mind?” Rey’s heart beat loudly in her chest.

“Call it a privilege of being dead.” He sighed. “You don’t have to be afraid. If I wanted to hurt you, I could have done it long ago.”

“Thanks,” said Rey dryly. “How very reassuring.”

He shrugged. “I give you only the truth.”

A memory swam to the surface: Ben, facing her solemnly, saying, _I never lie. Not to you._

She sucked in her breath, studying the ghost before her with new eyes. Ben’s grandfather. They looked alike, only where Ben was dark, Anakin was light: his hair, his eyes. Even the emotions they tried so valiantly to hide were the same. Except Anakin wasn’t hiding them anymore. He allowed her to study him without flinching away or shifting his gaze. He regarded her steadily.

Accepting her judgment.

She thought of all the times she’d seen pain and suffering behind his eyes. This man had turned to the Dark Side—but someone had believed in him. Someone had brought him back.

“You’re . . . Luke’s father,” Rey said.

He nodded once.

“And Leia’s.”

He nodded again, his jaw tightening. It seemed difficult for him to acknowledge such a thing.

Rey cleared her throat.

“You have a question for me, Rey of Jakku?”

Rey swallowed, summoned her courage, and asked, “What did it take?”

He stared at her.

“What did it take for you t-to turn?” she repeated. “To come back. What made you do it?”

He was silent for a long time, but he looked almost approving, as if she’d finally asked the right question. “Someone believed in me,” he said quietly. “Long after I’d finished believing in myself. And it made me realize . . .” He flickered in and out of existence, as if he were fading away.

“What?” Rey stepped closer, reaching out a hand. “What did you realize?”

He disappeared again, but his voice lingered, fading into the corners of the room. “Love is far more powerful than darkness.”

And then she was alone.

#

If the Knights noticed the blood drying on Kylo’s knuckles when he returned to the bridge, they were too well trained to say anything. Although not well trained enough to hide their exchange of unreadable glances. Abraxas raised his eyebrows almost imperceptibly. Nebarius gave a slight shrug in response.

Even Hela’s masked features turned ever-so-slightly in Kylo’s direction.

He ignored them all.

“Did Sallos and Mara send the coordinates through?” Kylo asked.

Zagan hesitated only briefly from the co-pilot’s chair before responding. “Yes,” he said. “We’re about to touch down.”

“Very good. Abraxas, gather the cold-weather gear. Nebarius and Hela can help you unload.”

The three of them nodded and left the bridge, silence falling in their wake. The engines of the hauler started to hum at a lower pitch as the ship began its landing procedure. Through the main viewport of the cockpit, a landscape of sharp, snow-tipped mountains grinned like ragged teeth. The blizzard raged on.

It felt somehow appropriate to Kylo’s mood.

“There,” he said, pointing. Beyond the bubble of snow cast up by the landing ship, two dark figures were visible, stark against the white. Sallos and Mara, their helmets off, their dark leathers striped with—white furs?

Sallos, the taller of the two, lifted a hand and waved.

“I see them,” said Nebarius. The ground tilted up to meet the ship, and with a final bump, they landed in a pillow of snow. The engines whined ever softer and then died.

“Get our provisions,” said Kylo to Nebarius. He turned to Zagan, who was watching through a narrowed eye. “And make sure the Jedi has something to wear.”

Zagan’s eyebrows rose, but then—

“That won’t be necessary.” All heads turned to find Rey in the cockpit entrance. She stood back, a bit unsure, but her eyes blazed with something too painful for Kylo to see. He glanced away from her face, only to realize with a jolt what she wore.

_His tunic._

She must’ve found the spare Abraxas had packed for him. It was laughably large for her, hanging past her knees, but she’d rolled up the sleeves until her thin wrists poked out. She shifted under his gaze, and the fabric moved against her chest in a way that made it obvious she wore no breastband. Kylo jerked his eyes back up to her face.

She was flushing.

He’d been staring too long. He looked away, only to find both his Knights watching her with their mouths open. At his glare, they shut their mouths abruptly and swiveled back to face the ship’s controls.

“Need to do some landing decompression,” said Nebarius, flipping a button that Kylo knew had nothing to do with that. “Don’t mind us.”

Kylo fought a wave of irritation. How tempting it would be to take this wrenching anger out on the Knights instead. But that would mean lingering in Rey’s presence even longer, and he found he couldn’t quite bear that. The bond was already glowing between them, warming him from the inside out.

He turned to brush past Rey. To his surprise, before he could slip past, she stepped closer, blocking his way.

“I need to talk to you,” she said. Her voice was quiet, but firm. Unwavering.

Kylo hesitated. His throat felt suddenly dry. His eyes flicked her up and down once more without his permission. Seeing her like that, wrapped in his clothes, it made him—it made him feel . . .

He cleared his throat. “There’s nothing to say.”

And he pushed past her, not entirely gently, so that she had to catch herself on the metal wall of the ship to keep from stumbling. His heart turned over. But it was easier this way.

Outside, the snow hit him hard, turning his veins to ice. Good. It was an instant distraction, a numbing that he desperately needed. The wind whipped his cheeks and sent snowflakes to catch in his eyes. He wiped them away, striding purposefully through the thick layer of fallen snow to reach Sallos and Mara.

They stepped away from the frozen gray cliffside as he reached them, revealing the entrance to a cave at their backs.

“My lord.” They both bowed. Mara’s tight, dark curls were streaked with white, as if she’d aged a few decades, but it was only snow.

Kylo nodded once in reply, and they straightened. “The others are unloading the provisions. I need a communication boost. Has Dantalion been in touch with you at all?”

“No, nothing.” Sallos frowned. “What’s happening? We’ve tried listening in on First Order channels, and they said . . .”

_They said I’d defected to save the Jedi?_ Kylo’s lip twisted with bitter humor. “I’ll explain later. For now, Mara, I’ll need your help connecting to whatever comm system is in place here. Sallos can help the others get unpacked.”

“Of course, my lord.” A short bow again. Mara was the technical expert of the group, and she led Kylo into the cave behind her without complaint or question. Sallos watched them go, looking grave.

Things began to feel normal again, just for a moment: Kylo giving commands and his Knights obeying them.

Inside, the howl of the wind abruptly quietened. Kylo had to duck at first to avoid hitting his head on the low-hanging rocks, but Mara led him around a corner, and suddenly the cave opened up to a huge cavern. The red-brown walls were slick with moisture, and the air was warm, far warmer than Kylo had expected. Electro-lanterns strategically placed around the edges of the cavern glowed a pale yellow, flickering over the sharp rock walls. A huge power generator hummed in a distant corner, wires connecting it to a wall of equipment hastily set-up. Some of those wires seemed rather creatively strung together to boost power. In the center of the cavern, a small grill had been set up like a fire pit, with some blankets and pillows propped around it over the hard stone. The comfortable center of the cavern looked out of place, surrounded as it was by fully operational First Order equipment. A few other openings branched away from the cavern opposite its entrance, glowing with a faint blue light.

A strange sort of base, but a functional one.

Kylo skirted the grill pit and crossed to where Mara stood fiddling with a comm panel.

“This is how we tapped into the First Order communication,” she explained, switching a few wires. “It’s fairly reliable, but it doesn’t always work during the storms.”

As if to prove her point, the comm panel blinked to life, only to produce a low hum of static.

Mara chewed her lip. “Give me a minute. I’ll figure something out.”

“Here’s my comm link. It’s tuned to Dantalion’s private channel.”

Mara nodded and immediately began wiring it into the panel. Her fingers worked quickly and deftly. Kylo crossed his arms and watched with narrowed eyes.

She paused, glance flicking over to him.

“Is there a problem?” he asked, surprised.

She hesitated, then seemed to decide on something. “Only that glaring at it won’t make it work any faster. My lord.”

He dropped his arms, startled. Mara flinched at the movement as if she were afraid. That in itself made him contain his momentary surprise. His Knights—afraid? Of him?

How had he never noticed that before?

“You’re right,” he said, and her eyebrows shot toward her hairline. “I’ll . . . go check on the unpacking.”

“I think that would be a good idea,” she said, her voice tentative. “I’ll let you know when it’s up and running.”

“Thank you,” he said, and her eyes widened in surprise. Then he turned on his heel and marched back toward the cave entrance. Was it really so surprising that he acknowledge his Knights’ wisdom once in a while?

And if so, where had he gone wrong?

Lost in thought, Kylo almost walked into the dark figure ducking into the cavern. Rey. He stumbled to a halt, and she backed off, hitting Sallos right in the chest.

“There you are,” she said. “We need to talk.”

_Again?_ Snoke’s voice flashed through Kylos mind: _Still that fiery spit of hope._ Kylo clenched his fists, the knuckles of his right hand throbbing. “I’m busy.”

“We can take care of the unloading, my lord,” said Sallos unhelpfully, stepping forward. He glanced over at Rey. “I can show you to your quarters, if you like, Jedi.” It wasn’t unkindly said. Instead, there was a glow of curiosity in Sallos’s dark eyes.

Kylo would almost have preferred malice. “That won’t be necess—”

“Very good. Lead the way.” Rey stepped aside, gesturing Sallos forward. If amusement flashed in the Knight’s features, he hid it the moment he passed Kylo.

Good. So the glare was getting through.

All thought halted when Rey’s hand curled around Kylo’s arm. Even through his sleeve, the bond began to work, connecting them. Not wanting to feel her inevitable disappointment in him, Kylo pulled up his walls against the Force, cutting her off entirely.

Rey’s hand twitched against his arm, her grip tightening. He glanced at her face in surprise. She wore a grim yet determined look. “Let’s go,” she said.

He lowered his voice. “If you think you can drag me bodily across this cavern—”

“I’ll do with the Force if I have to,” she said through gritted teeth.

Kylo’s eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Her grip tightened even further. “Try me.”

Silence hung between them. Her chest rose and fell with labored breaths beneath her tunic. _His_ tunic. All of a sudden, the air shifted, and something electric charged between them. Rey’s hand felt hot on his sleeve. The memory of his fingers tangled in her hair rose up unbidden. His eyes dropped to her slightly parted lips.

Rey’s face grew flushed, and he couldn’t help wondering if she was remembering the same thing.

With great effort, Kylo tore his gaze from her face. As if on cue, Mara ducked her head back to the comm panel. Sallos shifted his glance away. And behind Rey, entering the cavern, Abraxas lifted his box of provisions higher to avoid Kylo’s eyes.

So they’d all been staring.

Fantastic.

“Weren’t you showing us to my quarters, Sallos?” Rey asked with false casualness in her tone.

Kylo rolled his eyes to the stone overhead. If she noticed what her words implied about them—going together to her room—she didn’t show it.

Sallos cleared his throat. The flash of curious amusement was back in his eyes. “Of course. Right this way, Jedi.”

“You can call me Rey,” she said.

“Very well, Jedi Rey.”

“No, I mean—”

And as Sallos started across the cavern to one of the other entrances, Rey followed, towing Kylo behind.

#

Rey tried not to let her mouth drop open, but as Sallos led her out of the main cavern, it was hard not to gape.

The rocks around her _glowed_ like stars in the night.

She trailed the fingers of her free hand—the hand that wasn’t full of Ben—over the blue-lit stone. “What is it?” she asked, failing utterly to keep the wonder from her voice.

Sallos Ren stopped and turned back, that odd smile drifting around his lips. “Phosphorescent crystals,” he said, pausing beside a particularly bright rock. “They’re native to this place. Interesting, right? We don’t even need generators back here to light the caves.”

“They’re beautiful,” said Rey, forgetting herself for a moment. Each time she thought she’d seen all the beauty of the universe, some new planet would show her how wrong she was.

Ben stiffened beside her. She felt the muscles of his arm grow taut. Embarrassed, she dropped her fingers from the rock. “Sorry. Lead on.”

“No need to apologize,” said Sallos, his smile growing. “I find them fascinating myself. I’ve always been interested in native flora and fauna, but these—”

“Sallos,” said Ben in a low growl. “The quarters.”

“Oh. Right.” A flush crept across Sallos’s pale cheeks. “This way, Lady Rey.”

Ben made a choked sound at the name. Rey tugged him no-so-gently after the Knight, no longer worried if he tripped and smacked his forehead on the wall. “It’s just Rey,” she mumbled to Sallos’s back.

He glanced back over his shoulder. “Forgive me, Rey, but I don’t think there’s anything ‘just’ about you.”

Rey felt her cheeks heat with pleased embarrassment and chose not to say anything to that. She jumped when Ben said loudly, “Is this it? You’d better go help with unloading, Sallos.”

“Very well, my lord.” Sallos was definitely grinning now. Some look passed between him and Ben behind Rey’s shoulder, but when she turned, Ben was only glaring.

Fortunately, not at her.

“Make yourself comfortable,” said Sallos pleasantly, ignoring the daggers from Ben. “If you need anything, let me or Mara know.”

“We’ll be fine, thank you,” said Ben through gritted teeth. Sallos smiled once more and wandered back toward the main cavern.

Rey stepped into the small opening where Sallos had left them, tugging Ben behind her. Her mouth nearly dropped open again when she realized the ceiling was covered with the phosphorescent crystals, washing the whole space in blue as if they were underwater. The space was small, but someone had tried to make it comfortable by throwing a bundle of white furs across a low platform on one edge. A small basin filled with water sat in the other corner, along with some boxes of prepacked food. Otherwise, it was nothing but slick stone washed in a blue glow.

Rey trailed her fingers across the stone, and they came away wet. _Odd._ She would have to explore deeper in the cavern—

Ben brought her back to the task at hand by removing her fingers from his arm with his other hand. The feeling of his leather glove against her skin was like an electric shock, so much so that she jumped. He stepped away, watching her warily, and she found herself missing his touch.

Even when he was frustrating her, she longed for his nearness.

How irritating.

She stepped forward, into his space, glaring up at him. “You can’t just do that.”

His eyebrows shot up. He actually leaned away from her in surprise. Clearly those were the last words he’d been expecting. “Do . . . what?” he asked.

“You can’t just kiss me and walk away,” she said. _You can’t just make me feel safe, and warm, and . . ._ Her voice grew shaky. “You didn’t even give me a chance to explain.”

His eyes shuttered. He turned until his face was half in shadow, half in blue light. “There’s nothing to explain. It is as I told you. You want me to join the _Resistance._ ” He spat the word. “I won’t. End of conversation.”

“That’s what I told Finn, yes. And I won’t deny it. I think you’d be . . . you’d be amazing. But that’s not why I’m here.”

He gave her a furtive glance before looking away again. Curse him. His eyes were hard as the stone around them. “I know,” he said. “You’re here because you rescued Leia, and you got caught.”

“That’s not true.” Something in her voice, or perhaps the way she stepped swiftly forward, must have caught his attention, for his gaze shot back to her face. “I had a choice. To leave or stay. I could’ve gotten on that shuttle and gone back to the Resistance, and we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. _But I didn’t._ ”

His eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly. He took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling. So he was listening now. _Good._

“Do you want to know why?” she asked.

His eyes flicked back and forth between hers. A slight dip appeared between his brows, the start of a frown. His voice was a low growl when he said, grudgingly, “Why?”

She didn’t answer at first. Instead, she followed the most obvious way to convince him of her feelings, to convince him that she was here for _him._ She began to roll up her sleeves.

His eyes widened. “What are you doing?”

She ignored this. Still staring him down as if in challenge, she folded first her left sleeve, then her right, up to her elbows. Then she reached out and grabbed him by his left wrist.

And she began to peel off his glove.

“Rey—” he said, his voice cracking.

She ignored him, stripping off the leather. It was so satisfying, to peel that barrier off with her bare hands and drop it, useless, onto the cave floor. She moved to his right wrist, her pulse pounding now. She could feel the heat of him even through the glove, and the tension in the room ratcheted up a few notches. Then her fingers swept across the torn leather over his right knuckles, and he sucked in a sharp breath.

_Pain._ She felt that through the bond. Quickly suppressed, but a light sting all the same. Her right knuckles throbbed in response. Still unspeaking, she glanced up at him, cradling his damaged hand in both of her smaller ones.

Bloodied knuckles. She knew what caused those.

He looked instantly abashed, then defensive. He lifted his chin in the air, as if challenging her to comment. Instead, she stripped that last barrier off, dropping the glove to the floor to join its companion.

And then she twined her fingers in his.

“This is why,” she said. And she took a deep breath. Because this was the hardest part. This was the moment she wasn’t sure she could do.

But Ben’s fingers were strong around hers. So much bigger than her hands, and yet fragile, his knuckles bloodied as they were. They were damaged, yet precious.

Just like him.

Just like her.

Rey let out her breath. And at the same time, she let down her walls. Completely.

The Force bond rushed around them. That warm, golden, sunlit feeling skittered across her skin. Ignoring her fear, she gripped harder, willing him to feel what she felt.

_I’m here for you. I stayed for you. I won’t leave you. I want to be where you are._

_I want you._

He would be feeling the full spectrum of her emotion. Her affection, her desire, yes, but also the utter terror she felt at opening up to someone like this. She’d been hurt before. Left behind. It could always happen again.

But she let him feel that fear. She let him feel _everything._

Ben’s eyes widened. His fingers twitched, then gripped hers in return, clinging as if she were dragging him up over the edge of a cliff. As if she were his lifeline.

She felt nothing from him. His walls were still up. But as the Force bond pulsed between them, she felt light enough to drift toward the ceiling. She glowed like the crystals over their heads. Her veins crackled, and she felt _powerful._

Ben’s hands began to shake. When she glanced up at him, she saw the effect she’d had on him. His eyes were bright with intensity. He swallowed, and his throat bobbed.

Their gazes grew as tangled as their hands.

“Now do you understand?” she said, in a low murmur. Her heart was beating so loudly in her ears that she almost couldn’t hear her own voice.

“Rey . . .” It came out broken with emotion.

“I want you to be exactly who you are,” she explained, as if he couldn’t feel that pouring out of every inch of her. “And the person you are is _incredible._ ”

He sucked in a breath. His fingers twitched again. He was—

He was pulling his hands away.

Rey’s heart splintered. _Of course it wouldn’t work_ , she thought. _Exposing yourself like that. No matter how hard you want to, you can’t_ make _people stay._

But then his fingers tangled in her hair, and all thoughts fled.

He pulled her to him roughly. Gone was the tender kiss from earlier. This was raw, and intense, and unchecked. His mouth devoured hers, even smothering the moan that came from low in her throat. She leaned into it, running her hands up his back. There was so much of him, and yet not enough. Never enough.

He backed her up until they hit the stone wall, never breaking the kiss. Then his lips moved across her jaw in hungry, opened-mouthed kisses. When he reached her neck, she moaned again, and this time it escaped, to echo around the small chamber. _Embarrassing._ But, curiously, rather than push him away, the sound seemed to make him hungrier. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in her neck, sucking in a breath that shook his wide frame. As if he wanted to breathe her in, all of her.

A rush of sensation overtook her, so heady and powerful she almost passed out.

But she still couldn’t feel him.

How could his walls be up? How, in this moment, when she felt as vulnerable as if he’d peeled away the first layer of her skin, could he possibly defend himself against her?

Emboldened, almost determined to make him reveal _something,_ she began bunching up his tunic at his waist.   
He made a strangled noise. _Good._ But then he jerked his head back. She frowned at him, her hands fisted in the thick, black fabric at his waist.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

She raised her eyebrows at him. “I’m taking your tunic off. I thought that was obvious.”

“No, I know, but—” His eyes searched hers as his chest rose and fell in unison with her own. His cheeks were faintly flushed. _Unfair._ Her body felt as red as a Jakku sunset.

“You can take mine off, too. If you want.” _Where had that come from?_ That voice? She’d never flirted before in her life. And now— _was_ this flirting?

It seemed far too simple a word for what she felt.   
But judging by the speechlessness with which that statement was greeted, she figured she’d done something right. Still flushing, but unable to resist a drop of pride at her success, she took advantage of Ben’s stunned silence to lift the tunic up toward his chest.

Silently, he lifted up his arms.

Rey felt a rush of triumph equal, if not greater, to that which she’d felt at the end of their battle on Starkiller so many months ago. She felt absolutely _savage_ as she yanked his tunic over his head—so high up—and threw it down at her feet.

This kind of victory . . . it could become addicting.

His hands pulled away from her. They hung at his side, awkwardly, as if he would rather be using them to cover himself. But he didn’t. He stood there, his chest rising and falling in powerful breaths, and let her drink him in.

At first, it was utterly thrilling. She’d seen him like this before, of course. And it had caught her breath in her throat, that Force connection on Ahch-To. But it was nothing compared to being this close to him. Now, she could feel the warmth coming off him. She could see the shift of the blue light across his powerful shoulders.

She shivered.

That’s when she noticed the scars.

The starburst on his shoulder. _She_ had given him that. And the puckered red wound that sank into his trousers—that had come from Chewie. An image of Ben, his clenched fist pounding for more blood, flooded her mind. So many scars.

_And those only the ones she could see._

“Ben,” she whispered. He must’ve felt the change in her mood, because he tensed as she reached out to him. Her fingers traced the line that slanted from below his collarbone up his cheek. “Ben, I’m so sor—”

His hand shot up and held hers against his face in a strong grip. “Don’t,” he said through gritted teeth. “Don’t you dare apologize.”

Confusion rocked her. “But—”

“You think I regret it? You don’t know what you’re like. You don’t know your own strength. That day, in the forest, you were . . . you were . . . _beautiful._ ” He said the last word on an outgoing breath, barely more than a whisper, but it rippled across her like an explosion.

_Beautiful._

He thought she was beautiful.

Even at her most destructive.

She wasn’t sure what to make of that. But before she could speak, he was kissing her again. And this time, he was doing it slowly.

While he lifted up her tunic.

Feeling boneless, she barely managed to lift her arms. As the heavy tunic drifted up over her face, exposing her skin to the wet air of the cave, she shivered. Her nipples grew tight and aching. Then the tunic was at her feet, just like his.

She suddenly understood his urge to cover himself. Her arms itched. But if Ben could handle her scrutiny, she could handle his. She would never back down from a challenge.

She forced herself to be as brave as he had been and raised her eyes to meet his.

His pupils expanded. _Like jumping into space,_ she thought, because suddenly she couldn’t breathe. She felt a flush rising up her chest and over her cheeks, coloring her skin beneath her freckles. His eyes followed it down, down, down to her breasts, and stayed there.

She chewed her lip to keep from squirming.

His hands returned to her waist, encircling her. The callouses on his palms were oddly comforting as they smoothed up her skin. He was so warm. Then his hands reached her breasts and palmed them, and she had to close her eyes against the sharp sensation of those callouses on her most sensitive skin.

He let out a breath that she felt along the side of her neck. He must’ve stepped even closer. Then she felt him moving again, and her eyes fluttered open.

He bent forward.

He started at the base of her collarbone. She tensed in anticipation, thinking the tongue between his lips was for her nipple. But, no . . . Instead, he began trailing his tongue across her skin. Up, up her neck, until her knees began to shake. When he reached the place where her neck joined her chin, he brushed his lips tenderly up her face, to the corner of her eye.

He was tracing the scar she gave him . . . in kisses across her skin.

Something about the gesture was so raw, so strange and tender, that unexpected pain twisted her throat. Her eyes prickled.

It was as if each kiss said, _I forgive you._

Or, _We both have scars._

As if he were reading her mind—which perhaps he was—his fingers found the scars she’d earned over the past few months. They skittered across the red mark on her stomach where Azura’s knife had pierced her flesh. Rey’s skin twitched in response. Then he stroked the twin spots on her shoulders, from a knife and a bullet. She trembled.

He kissed her in all the places he wore his injuries, and stroked her in all the places she wore hers.

All the while, her nipples grew harder, more desperate for his attention. But he skirted them, just barely brushing her breasts each time he traced a new scar.

Eventually, as he knelt to drag kisses along the top of her left hip, she let out a growl that was half frustration, half arousal.

He lifted his head. His hands tightened on her hips at the sound. Looking down on him like this gave her a rush of heady power again, and at the same time, the uncomfortable feeling of being utterly at his mercy.

“ _Now_ do you understand?” he asked her, his voice rough.

_Yes,_ she thought, and, _no,_ and, _I’ll never understand, but I don’t have to. I don’t want to._

_I just want this, forever._

The words were on the tip of her tongue. But maybe he sensed them before she could speak, because his hands squeezed hard at her hips, as if to steady himself. The sensation made her buck forward. His breath tickled her skin. His eyes devoured her.

From this moment forward, there was no going back.

She reached for him, tangling his hair between her fingers. She wasn’t sure where she was going to direct him—not exactly—but she knew of a couple of places to start.

He bent forward, and then—

“My lord!” The words echoed down the cavern hall and into their secluded room. Rey jerked, then froze, unsure whether to trust her own ears. Ben’s hands dug into her hips, still as stone.

“My lord!” The echo again. “We got the comm panel working.” Sallos’s voice, punctuated by footsteps reverberating across the stone. “But we have a problem—”

Rey jolted to life, shoving Ben back so hard he had to catch himself with his palms on the cave floor. She dove for the nearest tunic, not even caring whether it had originally been on her or on him. For the span of a few breaths, Ben simply watched her as she struggled into it, his eyes wide and his nostrils flared. Then she managed to get the fabric down over her head and snatch the other tunic up from the ground.

“He’s coming,” she whispered, throwing the tunic into Ben’s lap. Before it landed, she caught a glimpse of his arousal, and her face caught fire.

_A few more minutes, and . . ._

She couldn’t quite complete the thought.

Ben leapt up and turned his back to the door, pulling the tunic over his head. It was the one Rey had been wearing, and the sleeves were still rolled up by the time he got them on. They landed above his elbow, looking awkward and small. But when he turned to face the door, he wore an expression as blank as snow.

Rey marveled at his composure. She felt as if one glance from him would turn her to ash and dust. Her heart pounded against her skull, and her legs felt slick beneath her pants.

“My lord.” Sallos hurried into view, then froze when he caught them both staring. His eyes drifted between the two of them, and Rey thought the freckles might evaporate from her face, so hot were her cheeks. But then Sallos blinked, made a visible effort to keep his expression stoic, and faced Ben instead. “My lord. It’s Dantalion. We managed to get a lock on his location, but—”

“But what?” Ben growled.

Sallos took a deep breath. “There’s no signal on the other side.”

“What are you saying?” Ben asked, clenching his fists. Rey’s pulse quickened.

“There’s nothing there, my lord. Dantalion . . . well . . . he’s gone.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued . . . :D
> 
> Thanks again for sticking with me, and if you're feeling up to it, please leave a review with your thoughts!


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